(after event chill out lil mingle) let's understand it

[nullificates]

(cw depression)

(he hasn't exactly been doing great - much to the opposite. he spent the week in bed, he hasn't taken care of himself whatsoever, and he's exhausted. either way, it hardly matters how he feels, does it ever?

so. let's go. a text message arrives to everyone's charms and tablets, and it reads:)

this is, you guessed it, osamu dazai. it's been a week since that stupid maze, so here is what we have:

1. i need copious amounts of alcohol and food. i'll bring some to the beach in 30, i suggest we all do the same.
2. i'd like to hear what your experiences were. it's important for data building - we have a few detectives in this place, some smartpants, and some go-getters. we need to take advantage of our only resource, which is ourselves. meet me at the beach, or send me anonymously. i don't care about your shit per se.

see you, or don't see you.

many words that mean absolutely nothing here,
dazai.

(to those that come to the beach, they'll see several cocktail possibilities laid in front of dazai, as well as a good number of the food they serve in lupin - mixed nuts, pistachio, cheese tables, chocolate, dried figs, potato chips, chicken snacks, boiled sausage, asparagus with sauces, and dried fruit. a bonfire warms his hands in the chilly breeze of the night - this feels awfully needed.)

Comments

dazai osamu | bungo stray dogs

[nullificates]

𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒇𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒆;
(cw depression)

(rough week, it's easy to say. the maze - it's not the facing what he's done and used to be that he dislikes, but what they represent. change is such a hard thing, something he isn't sure he can do completely - he has always been who he is, a man whose heart bleeds dark, whose plans can be cruel, who doesn't particularly mind a way or another to achieve anything.

and then, he got to relive that moment where he felt like the world had disintegrated, lost even more color to someone who had never seen any before. 'saving people makes your life a little wonderful', but it is also hard as fuck if you would elect to do the complete opposite if the situation called for it. to have those doubts on his own capabilities and then oda's death shown all over again - that was just mean. and then he lost someone. and then he had a talk - ew.

and then the bed had become his biggest ally this week. getting out of these slopes are always the most difficult, so he now is distracting himself by-- definitely not making cocktails. he's just drinking from the bottle, allowing his bandaged feet to feel the waves the ocean brings.

who'll come, he wonders.)

𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒉, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒙𝒆𝒔, 𝒐𝒉;

(something warm that comes to see the people here. food is comforting, drink is a bandage, but it is something he finds deeply needed after all that - bullshit.

his clown mask is back on his face, and here he is, all tone inflation, fufufufusback into his voice.)

I just guess I don't get it! What's the obsession with dogs? You know, somewhere in my office back at home, there's a 17-page vent against them. Dogs are naive! And too loyal! Ugh, get cats...!!!

𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒑, 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒂;

(your wildcard option.)

depression hours

[orphne]

[Dazai might be sitting alone on the beach, but not for long. He'd given them thirty minutes' notice to come to the beach, which meant she had juuuust enough time to heat up some of the pizzas she'd made the other day with Chuuya. They get added to the plethora of food on offer, and it's with two plates precariously balanced in hand and her shoes gripped in the other that she drops down to sit beside him.

She doesn't say anything at all at first, just sets her shoes out of harm's way of the waves and places a plate in his lap for him to eat or ignore at his leisure. She didn't have enough hands to get a drink of her own, so she just holds out her hand. Stop distracting yourself with that bottle and let her have some! It means he'll have a free hand for eating with.

Then she just drops her head to rest against his shoulder. Hey, buddy.]

[nullificates]

(he just watches her at first. partly why he said he was hungry is because it'd lure out the nice ones such as kotone, who would always come to aid when it came to things like that. how many times has she come around with food, anyway?

ah. pizza? he isn't sure if his stomach can handle pizza. he'll give it small bites as they come. the bottle is passed to her, and instead of using that free hand to eat further, he wraps it around her shoulders, nose nuzzling a little against the top of her head.

it's almost like this is their unspoken affection display at this point.)

[orphne]

[It's chicken and broccoli! She brought that kind over on purpose so he can pick off either the meat or the veggies if his stomach is bothering him and eat just those instead.

She sets the bottle down beside them without taking a drink of her own yet. It's not like she really needs it; the idea was more to take it from Dazai, at least temporarily. Closing her eyes as he nuzzles the top of her head, she exhales softly and scoots that little bit closer.]

Talk to me?

[It's a quiet request. He can choose the topic, as serious or as silly as he wants.]

[nullificates]

(he knows. he's taught her so well. what a good kid.)

Ah, you should have brought a one-week-sober chip! Where is it? Where!!

(which was true as of like, two minutes ago.)

[orphne]

You would've had to have told me!

[A little chiding! But she bonks the side of her head against his, summoning one of her brighter smiles more for his sake than any genuine emotion. She's at least making the effort, and that has to count for something, right?]

I'll make you something nice tomorrow, okay?

[nullificates]

(as if duplicity were a crime exclusive to her, he smiles just as brightly, both known the show of teeth is empty in real intent.)

Why do you think I'll be around tomorrow! Maybe I'll be off to fight God.

[darkdisgrace]

Why would you spend so much time and energy writing a 17 page rant hating on an animal that can't even read it.

[Said in a deadpan as he settles into the sand next to Dazai with a drink in hand.]

What did dogs even do to you to? They're loyal, easily trained and fun to play with.

[nullificates]

Oh, then in that case, I shouldn't have handed you to read it.

(bitch,)

Ugh, like yourself! You know, take my essay, and change dogs to Chuuyas! It's the same!

[darkdisgrace]

Oh fuck you, I know how to read! I did your own damn paperwork often enough.

[bitch.]

For the last time, I am not a dog! Exactly what about me even seems like a dog?!

[nullificates]

Stop telling me to go fuck myself, you know exactly what I'm going to say - and at this point, with no credible witnesses, it's a 'he said, she said' situation! I have never seen you read here, has anyone?!

(he's going to throw a stick, he did it, he threw a stick.)

Who's a good boy!!

[darkdisgrace]

You want me to write and read your obituary? I can do that.

[A shove against Dazai's shoulder. He's already tipsy, thanks to the provided drinks.]

Because if you say 'fetch' I will shove that stick down your throat.

[nullificates]

Woa, woa, you don't have to prove to everyone you can! I totally believe you, super do! You can totally read!!!!

(hehehehe.)

Fetch, boy, fetch!!!

depresso espresso!!!

[chemex]

[Akira is wearing a flu mask, but he's dutifully shown up to Lupin every day that Goro will actually let him leave their place. As such, he's got an apron on, and a funny little carry-case with a variety of things in it. Mostly, it's coffee things, but there's a few bottles of liquor, too.]

[He will absolutely not explain how he got them, thank you.]

[He steps out of his shoes and rolls up his jeans, trudging out to where the sand darkens from the tide and flopping down to sit beside Dazai. Wordlessly, he lays out a tray and a few things, and makes him an espresso martini. He hands it over without looking away from the tray. What might be the oddest part of all of this, is that he's not wearing his glasses.]

[nullificates]

(lenses with prescription look different to an observant eye. it's less surprising to confirm he never needed them, but definitely interesting to see him without it. akira doesn't say anything, and he finds himself with alcohol in his hands right after it.

he'll first take the boy's chin to lift his head, so dazai can look right into akira's eyes and see if he can see what he isn't saying.)

[chemex]

[He had a bit of a mental breakdown in the maze, and took them off when he admitted some things to Kotone, so it feels like a disservice to put the mask right back on. ...plus the flu mask makes them fog up if he breathes too hard, but it's mostly for the symbolism.]

[He startles when Dazai grabs him, planting a hand in the sand to keep from tipping forward. His eyes are a lot brighter of a silver when viewed bare, the shadow of his thick-framed lenses not darkening them. He looks younger, maybe, but that could just be the startle of being grabbed, until he settles and just smiles behind his flu mask.] Hi? [His eyes are a little less vacant without the glasses, he can't hide the wear to his whole person as well without them, but the smile does still reach them.]

[There isn't anything specific being said, but Dazai can likely read into his expression enough to see that the maze wasn't any kinder to him than it was to Dazai himself.] You're gonna make me spill your martini.

[nullificates]

Your eyes are silver-y greenish, purplish. Very pretty.

(it's a comment that he drops with a gentle smile. he saw what he wished to see - a much more vibrant person, honest, and not hiding, however tired from the ordeals they had to endure. it's understandable.

he drops the hand only to ruffle his hair, eyes closing in their faked joy.)

Ah, here I thought you'd run away from me from now on!

[chemex]

[His ears go pink, mostly hidden by the mop of curls he calls hair, and his face wrinkles up in faux-annoyance at the ruffling. It does absolutely nothing to change the state of his hair, somehow.] I hear they kind of reflect the colors around me, I don't really look at them that much. [Clearly, from the frizzy mess that is his hair.]

[He reaches up to swat the hand from his hair, finally, and directs it to the martini, instead, grinning in a tired way that wrinkles the outer corners of his eyes.] Why would I do that? You're my friend.

[nullificates]

I'll break your glasses so we'll all be blessed by them! Where are they?

(what a cute kid! there are moments he reminds dazai of atsushi, just a little bit, with those little faces. still, he'll grab the martini for a little sip, and a hum of appreciation.)

Ah, if you still think so. Other kids are very mad at me for having been-- well, you seen!

depresso

[laserguy]

[Scott doesn't bring anything, partly because 30 minutes is pretty short notice, but mostly because he wasn't sure if he was going to even come in the first place. He's still not sure where their relationship stands, just something purely professional? Maybe he should've just asked Kotone how he was doing, because he's pretty sure that she's going to visit him-- if she already hasn't.

But, guess he's not feeling like complete chicken shit this time.

The maze was hard on a lot of people, Scott knows this. It was definitely hard on him, but he's somehow able to sort of take everything in, at least regarding himself. Maybe not all of it, but he thinks he's feeling better than some. Like Dazai. So, he's here, and approaching the older man.]

Dazai...?

[nullificates]

(from his pocket, a cigarette pack, and one goes to his lips. he doesn't tend to smoke so much, but in here, with the stress, it's where he ends up, with nicotine blackening his lungs and travelling through his veins.

he looks-- not great, but also, not that horrible. it's not good to let anyone see how bad he's been, it's shit for morale.)

Hey, kid.

[laserguy]

[Scott even isn't going to bitch about the smoking, but he doesn't take a seat next to Dazai, choosing to just stand around almost awkwardly. He just... wanted to check on him and everything, but the more he stands, the less confident he gets. Ugh, come on Summers, don't be sad and pathetic in front of him, he's already done that like a million times.]

I saw your post. [...] Sorry, didn't bring any alcohol. Or food.

[nullificates]

(oh, child. he'll pat the space near him, don't be lame and weird. dazai doesn't bite, nor does he feel like doing so. a drag blackens his lungs, and the smoke leaves through his nostrils as his toes move a little against the water.)

It was recommended, not mandatory. I don't eat that much, anyway.

[laserguy]

[At the invite, Scott feels a little more encouraged, and slowly sits down next to him. Maybe he can patch things up with him...? But he doesn't want to ask either. Instead, he pulls one knee up so that he can rest his chin on it.]

You need to eat man, you're fucking skinny as is. [Look, he's worried!! So worried that he frowns at him, his head tilted his way.]

[nullificates]

Yeah, yeah, I eat enough, rest assured.

(he does not, but that isn't here nor now. a peace offering is dazai's palm up, offered, so scott can rid himself of the glasses for a moment. it's probably been a while, he figures the boy might want a break.)

You good, kid?