(after event chill out lil mingle) let's understand it

[nullificates]

(cw depression)

(he hasn't exactly been doing great - much to the opposite. he spent the week in bed, he hasn't taken care of himself whatsoever, and he's exhausted. either way, it hardly matters how he feels, does it ever?

so. let's go. a text message arrives to everyone's charms and tablets, and it reads:)

this is, you guessed it, osamu dazai. it's been a week since that stupid maze, so here is what we have:

1. i need copious amounts of alcohol and food. i'll bring some to the beach in 30, i suggest we all do the same.
2. i'd like to hear what your experiences were. it's important for data building - we have a few detectives in this place, some smartpants, and some go-getters. we need to take advantage of our only resource, which is ourselves. meet me at the beach, or send me anonymously. i don't care about your shit per se.

see you, or don't see you.

many words that mean absolutely nothing here,
dazai.

(to those that come to the beach, they'll see several cocktail possibilities laid in front of dazai, as well as a good number of the food they serve in lupin - mixed nuts, pistachio, cheese tables, chocolate, dried figs, potato chips, chicken snacks, boiled sausage, asparagus with sauces, and dried fruit. a bonfire warms his hands in the chilly breeze of the night - this feels awfully needed.)

Comments

[nullificates]

(dazai would never have children, he's got no siblings, but if he had either, he's sure they'd be much like kotone. they're too awfully similar, and it makes him laugh when he brings a kiss to her forehead. he sees you, girl.)

Not yet! I've fought a bunch of stuff, but not God, yet! I do argue with his disciple sometimes, though. Ah, if I did kill God, I'd make him have a heart attack, his health is really fragile. I think we can simply sue.

[orphne]

Oooh, yeah, Fyodor-san is religious, isn't he?

[She vaguely remembers Dazai mentioning that. Also-]

Tell him about my Personas if you want to give him a heart attack. [She laughs a little, not at all serious. Dazai had already warned her not to tell Fyodor, and she has no intention to.]

[nullificates]

Very much so! Ah, no, thank you, he'd get... Overinvested! He calls Chuuya 'godling', which to me? Hilarious!

(you know? -ling? because he's tiny! aha!)

[orphne]

Bleh.

[She sticks her tongue out. No thanks! Being called godling sounds like so much pressure. So much work! Nope!!]

How're you two doing, though?

[Leadingly. C'mon, buddy, spill the tea. What's been happening lately on your weird-romance front?]

[nullificates]

Ah. Not good in general. The clown's dead, Fyodor has been a little paranoid, and I was mean to Chuuya - it's getting better, though.

(a general idea. it's not just the maze, after all.)

[orphne]

[Hm. She heard about it a little from Chuuya, but-]

Someone killed Gogol-san?

[It's hard to know how to feel about that. Like, she doesn't know Gogol very well, other than knowing that he's a weirdo, but it's not like she wanted him dead. That... really can't be good where they're involved, huh?]

[nullificates]

(fyodor did. accidentally. he's never told kotone about 'crime and punishment' - and he doesn't intend to. he doesn't completely understand it, but he's seen what it does, imploding and exploding a person through mere touch. fyodor said it was an accident, and dazai believes it. he won't touch him ever since, in fear 'no longer human' doesn't bypass it.

complicated.)

He didn't survive the maze.

[orphne]

Oh. Sorry.

["Sorry," at once isn't the right thing to say, nor is it remotely strong enough to encompass everything involved with losing someone, but it's the social norm. Not an apology, but sympathy.

She doesn't ask how he's doing. She doesn't have to. She just reaches across and picks a piece of broccoli off his pizza to eat herself, hoping to get him to mimic the motion either out of habit or pettiness.]

Should we do something for him?

[Like a service or a funeral. She assumes if it was as a result of the maze, there's nothing to bury or cremate, but the ceremony is never for the dead, anyway. Just the ones who are left behind.]

[nullificates]

You've never spoken to him, have you? Since he's dead, I'll tell you myself. Nikolai's whole thing is that he values free will, and he believes attachments and humanity keeps people from achieving that, like we are all birds in a little cage. He'd laugh at me very hard from wherever he is if we went there.

(therefore, just a hand waves in response. he wouldn't do that, it's not his thing either way, and isn't that precious by itself?)

[orphne]

[At least he'd be laughing, she doesn't say, because again, these kinds of ceremonies aren't for the dead, really, and if Dazai doesn't see a point, then it won't help him.

She picks a piece of chicken off her pizza and puts it in his waving hand. Eat it!]

Tell me more about him?

[nullificates]

(FINE, m'aam. he'll eat, but he squints his eyes to her, as a way do say 'don't push it, he'll do it!!')

About Nikols? He's very close to Fyodor. He just wants to be free, you see. I guess, now he is? Who knows! He's probably the most complicated of all of us!

[orphne]

Hmmm...

[That's saying a lot, if he's the most complicated! But she just shrugs, unable to really comment on it without having met him herself. But she seems satisfied with him eating, taking her own bite of pizza and chewing thoughtfully.]

...Do you know why everyone in town is mad at us, Dazai-san?

[nullificates]

If I were to guess-- maybe they are mad at some behaviors they've heard about from the maze, or before that. Perhaps they've finally realized we are here because we are criminals? Have you thought about asking them?

[orphne]

Uh-uh.

[She shakes her head immediately. Asking why they're angry seems like an awful idea, because what if asking makes them more mad? It's just easier to work around them as much as possible.

It just hurts her feelings. :( ]

It was weird how they were so nice to us to begin with, but now everyone is suddenly different.

[nullificates]

I do think that's because a lot of us have been a little naughty. They either realized why we're here or seen things, heard things, so on, so on. Keep close to the Chosen, don't pay too much mind.

(or do, and report everything to him. up to her.)

[orphne]

[She crunches her way through the crust of her pizza, still frowning. That doesn't sound like a solution to her, nor does it help her understand why the change of opinion was so fast. And yet, if that's the best Dazai has for her, it's the best they can both do.

So she just knocks her head lightly against his shoulder.]

I'm glad you're still here with me, Dazai-san.

[nullificates]

Did you think I was going to die?! I can't! It's not so easy!

(he shoves the entire pizza into his mouth, solely to bring her into a hug, to keep her against his chest. there, there, kotone, see?)

[orphne]

Eek!

[She doesn't resist his hug, though, managing a little laugh as she lets herself be dragged in and wrapping her own arms around him tightly.]

...Thanks, Dazai-san.

[nullificates]

You'll be fine. Distract yourself and move on as you always do, mhm?

(it's whispered against her hair, only for her ears, because he knows she isn't great - nobody is. he also does know how she deals with hardships.)

[orphne]

Mmhm.

[It's a quiet hum of agreement. Dazai gets it. They usually do understand each other, when it's things like this. She squeezes him a little more tightly, fingers in the back of his jacket, and nods once.]

You too.

[nullificates]

(it's almost so easy to lift her, set her on his thighs, keep her close and comfortable, a kiss to the top of her head. there, there, kiddo, he's here again, he's got you now. resting is alright.)