(after event chill out lil mingle) let's understand it

[nullificates]

(cw depression)

(he hasn't exactly been doing great - much to the opposite. he spent the week in bed, he hasn't taken care of himself whatsoever, and he's exhausted. either way, it hardly matters how he feels, does it ever?

so. let's go. a text message arrives to everyone's charms and tablets, and it reads:)

this is, you guessed it, osamu dazai. it's been a week since that stupid maze, so here is what we have:

1. i need copious amounts of alcohol and food. i'll bring some to the beach in 30, i suggest we all do the same.
2. i'd like to hear what your experiences were. it's important for data building - we have a few detectives in this place, some smartpants, and some go-getters. we need to take advantage of our only resource, which is ourselves. meet me at the beach, or send me anonymously. i don't care about your shit per se.

see you, or don't see you.

many words that mean absolutely nothing here,
dazai.

(to those that come to the beach, they'll see several cocktail possibilities laid in front of dazai, as well as a good number of the food they serve in lupin - mixed nuts, pistachio, cheese tables, chocolate, dried figs, potato chips, chicken snacks, boiled sausage, asparagus with sauces, and dried fruit. a bonfire warms his hands in the chilly breeze of the night - this feels awfully needed.)

Comments

[chemex]

[That's... a lot of the problem. Akira doesn't know what he needs, because he's so used to being focused on what everyone else needs, he can't quite sort himself out. But this... this is fine. This is nice. Sitting in good company and being Not Okay, but still okay to not be okay.]

[Why is being alive so confusing.]

[nullificates]

It's good, isn't it? To be held instead of holding. You can do that more often. If not on my shoulder, trust the people around you.

(there, a little kiss to the forehead, almost like he's sealing a promise - that it will all be okay in due time.)

[chemex]

[He looks up again and is startled by the abrupt way his eyes well up with tears all over again, because-- yeah. Yeah, it is really nice? He ducks his head again a moment after, making an affirmative warbling sound and squeezing Dazai's fingers.]

[He's very dumb, Dazai.]

[nullificates]

(oh dear lord. there, there, there. his chin sets on the other's head, it's comfortable like this, and he can hide if he wants.)

You kiddos have terrible taste in older men.

(a joke, to see if he can make akira laugh.)

[chemex]

[It works-- he crackles a funny sort of watery sound into the bend of his elbow.] Goro would kill me.

[He smears his face there a moment and sniffs roughly, tipping his head up and back a moment to settle and then looking over at Dazai with a grossly fond expression-- extra gross because of the blotchiness to his face and the dampness all over it, but, you know. Details.] You're not that much older than me, anyway.

[nullificates]

He too has a crush on me, you two can commiserate.

(which-- it does entertain him, he won't lie. he's not that great a person, regardless of what he might seem like, regardless what these moments bring. the fondness isn't missed, and it does bring a genuine smile to dazai's lips - not an easy feat.)

Don't worry, I too am taken, you know-- even if one of my partners does call me-- a harlot.

(laugh, kiddo!!)

[chemex]

[He laughs again, the sound crackling a bit like a percolator, but the smile lingers and he's not tearing up anymore.]

I probably would be if I didn't care so much about Goro's insecurities. [There's no probably about it, mister.]

[nullificates]

He needs to have someone who does.

(the long, thin fingers offer to akira's free hand, elegantly as they tend to be, so he can gently stand. perhaps a little walk before they return to pretend they were not having a heart-to-heart.)

[chemex]

[His smile scrunches at the corners, and he nods. He's so happy to be what he is for Goro it's sickening. Taking Dazai's hand, he rolls to his feet again, squeezing all of his fingers gently.] ...thanks, I thought I was doing better than I am.

[nullificates]

I got you. After all, that place was very nightmarish! It's fine if you haven't processed it yet.

(he's too old and too tall, it makes the picture of him skipping stones a little bit funnier, more carefree as he brings the other along.)

[chemex]

[He wants to fuss, tell Dazai that it's fine if he hasn't processed it either, but he isn't really in a place to, and Dazai would just tut at him anyway. So he sighs, nodding, but actually feeling a good bit better after just. A good little anxiety cry session. It's fine, he's learning that he has to actually let himself be a person sometimes, too.]

I'd be totally okay if none of that ever happened again, to anybody.