(catchall/open) had to have high, high hopes for a living

[spidermenaces]

Who: peter parker and you
Where: hella places cuz it's a catch-all
What: science, spiderman, music, cringe
Warnings: none? maybe violence, cuz, you know. monster fighting!

Comments

[notthekingpin]

[ Matt is restless. After being visited by a leaf-induced faerie dream, and now with his own personal video game soundtrack stuck in his head, he needs to get out and flex his muscles. Peter will find him in the forest. You know, exactly where Peter told him not to go.

But not to worry, he's hardly recognizable. He's dressed in all black (not really armor, but layers) and has a black bandana tied over his head covering his eyes. It's not like he needs them to see.

Matt blends in well in the shadows of the forest, listening for his prey. And when he finds one, he's of course going to engage. Or, at least, that was his plan until Peter started yelling.

Also he's like pretty sure that voice is the same as the one who helped him look for a cat? Call it an educated guess.

Matt, however, does bother to pitch his voice down to try and mask it a little when he's doing things like this. ]

You're going to scare them off.

[ Boy go home he wants bloodshed. ]

[spidermenaces]

-- Hey, are you monster hunting too?! That's cool.

(does not recognize the voice, at least. unfortunately, as peter parker, he's unable to shut the fuck up, but as spiderman? that's worse. the pincers hit the ground first before he does, except--

something's coming. his body perceives it first, goosebumps that raise the hairs on his arms, and before he can even process it, his wrist points, his fingers shoot, and then he's more aware. up a tree he goes.)

Uh, so, how are your feelings about turning into steak?

[notthekingpin]

[ Matt reacts quickly after Peter does. He doesn't have a spidey sense, but he does hear it coming, so he jumps into the same tree, on another branch. ]

Just stay quiet.

[ Honestly, this is a great impression of Daredevil Matt. He's so serious! Look at him go!

He waits until the monster is running underneath their tree and then jumps with his sword, landing on its back and shoving the blade in as he does. ]

[spidermenaces]

(peter is so lucky, that is awesome! he has to put a hand to his mask, as if he was shutting up when the man just dives! cool, very cool!

he'll help out, too, swinging to the next tree simply to get a better angle on the webbing. it should stick the creature to the floor, reinforced as he makes rounds to all its limbs.)

Hey-- who are you anyway?

[notthekingpin]

[ Oh, that's actually a good assist? Yeah, the Spider-kid is actually helping. Man, why didn't he and Gwen have a series of cool teamups? Look at what they could've accomplished. ]

Does it matter?

[ He draws his blade back, cutting through the monster. I'm not going to lie it's pretty gnarly. ]

[spidermenaces]

(and he thinks he's hella smooth on the identity part, because like. her peter parker has passed. who would have thunk right. this is a coincidence, nothing more, it's fine, not peter parker at all.

but when he lands and the mysterious man starts to sashimi the damn thing, he turns around, hands concealing the sight with his arms stretched towards the scene.)

Ew, man. Gross.

[notthekingpin]

You're the one who said we shouldn't turn into steak.

[ So, you know, better that they turn this thing into shashimi.

On the plus side, it's definitely dead. ]

[spidermenaces]

Yeah, but like, overkill much?

(THAT'S STILL GROSS. he'll take the opportunity to jump to a branch, crawling to the top and STILL NOT LOOKING at the butchery below.

damn, dude. find therapy.)

cw we're suddenly in a tarantino film

[notthekingpin]

[ It's honestly extremely gross. Like there's blood and guts everywhere, and plenty of it on him. One would think his super senses would hate it but he finds it kind of calming. Even the faerie tune is a little less annoying in this light.

Matt shrugs. ]

I needed to get some stress out.

[spidermenaces]

(thank god the suit is masking the smell with its nice new car scent. he's not absurd like the murdocks, but his senses are much, much better, and all that blood and guts would definitely make him want to throw up - which is not a great look.)

... That's just on monsters, right? Cuz like, if you turn that stress relief on people, we're gonna have a problem, buddy. Also, have you considered those anger management courses? I think you'd really get a lot out of that, you know.

[notthekingpin]

What an astute observation! It's almost like I'm here, with the monsters, and not fighting people!

[ And really, this felt good? He feels much better. But nothing is as fun as beating up people who double cross the mafia )': ]

[spidermenaces]

Hey, less about the fact, more about the vibe! I'm here with the monsters too, but you're a bit creepy, pal.

(LISTEN, YOU TELL HIM YOU'RE NOT THAT BAD WHEN YOU'RE NOT SASHIMING A MONSTER.)

[notthekingpin]

Please enlighten me as to how I should fix my vibes, Spider-Man.

[ Spiders are creepy thats just facts ]

[spidermenaces]

... I mean, maybe start by not bathing in the blood of-- wait, how do you know I'm Spider-man?

(that's literally the last thing he is called when people try to guess. spider-guy, spiderling, spider-boy, etc??????)

[notthekingpin]

You're man-shaped and you're spider-themed. Did I guess wrong? is it Spider-nonbinary-child?

[spidermenaces]

You-- you know what, I'm asking the questions!!

(AS IF... CHILD...)

Who even are you?

[notthekingpin]

Does it matter?

[ spider-man it is, see, he was right ]

[spidermenaces]

Yep, otherwise, I wouldn't be asking!?

(HELP)

Sir, you're a very difficult psychopath...

[notthekingpin]

That is very rude. Didn't your parents ever teach you not to psychoanalyze strangers?

[ or your aunts and uncles, you know, whomever. ]

[spidermenaces]

Didn't yours teach you how to respect the local flora?! Seriously, what soap is gonna take all that away?! Dude, you smell really bad...

(sashimi-man is going to stick.)