(catchall/open) had to have high, high hopes for a living

[spidermenaces]

Who: peter parker and you
Where: hella places cuz it's a catch-all
What: science, spiderman, music, cringe
Warnings: none? maybe violence, cuz, you know. monster fighting!

Comments

[spidermenaces]

(and he thinks he's hella smooth on the identity part, because like. her peter parker has passed. who would have thunk right. this is a coincidence, nothing more, it's fine, not peter parker at all.

but when he lands and the mysterious man starts to sashimi the damn thing, he turns around, hands concealing the sight with his arms stretched towards the scene.)

Ew, man. Gross.

[notthekingpin]

You're the one who said we shouldn't turn into steak.

[ So, you know, better that they turn this thing into shashimi.

On the plus side, it's definitely dead. ]

[spidermenaces]

Yeah, but like, overkill much?

(THAT'S STILL GROSS. he'll take the opportunity to jump to a branch, crawling to the top and STILL NOT LOOKING at the butchery below.

damn, dude. find therapy.)

cw we're suddenly in a tarantino film

[notthekingpin]

[ It's honestly extremely gross. Like there's blood and guts everywhere, and plenty of it on him. One would think his super senses would hate it but he finds it kind of calming. Even the faerie tune is a little less annoying in this light.

Matt shrugs. ]

I needed to get some stress out.

[spidermenaces]

(thank god the suit is masking the smell with its nice new car scent. he's not absurd like the murdocks, but his senses are much, much better, and all that blood and guts would definitely make him want to throw up - which is not a great look.)

... That's just on monsters, right? Cuz like, if you turn that stress relief on people, we're gonna have a problem, buddy. Also, have you considered those anger management courses? I think you'd really get a lot out of that, you know.

[notthekingpin]

What an astute observation! It's almost like I'm here, with the monsters, and not fighting people!

[ And really, this felt good? He feels much better. But nothing is as fun as beating up people who double cross the mafia )': ]

[spidermenaces]

Hey, less about the fact, more about the vibe! I'm here with the monsters too, but you're a bit creepy, pal.

(LISTEN, YOU TELL HIM YOU'RE NOT THAT BAD WHEN YOU'RE NOT SASHIMING A MONSTER.)

[notthekingpin]

Please enlighten me as to how I should fix my vibes, Spider-Man.

[ Spiders are creepy thats just facts ]

[spidermenaces]

... I mean, maybe start by not bathing in the blood of-- wait, how do you know I'm Spider-man?

(that's literally the last thing he is called when people try to guess. spider-guy, spiderling, spider-boy, etc??????)

[notthekingpin]

You're man-shaped and you're spider-themed. Did I guess wrong? is it Spider-nonbinary-child?

[spidermenaces]

You-- you know what, I'm asking the questions!!

(AS IF... CHILD...)

Who even are you?

[notthekingpin]

Does it matter?

[ spider-man it is, see, he was right ]

[spidermenaces]

Yep, otherwise, I wouldn't be asking!?

(HELP)

Sir, you're a very difficult psychopath...

[notthekingpin]

That is very rude. Didn't your parents ever teach you not to psychoanalyze strangers?

[ or your aunts and uncles, you know, whomever. ]

[spidermenaces]

Didn't yours teach you how to respect the local flora?! Seriously, what soap is gonna take all that away?! Dude, you smell really bad...

(sashimi-man is going to stick.)