one way or another

[computation]

Who: Closed event threads for Liv's characters -- Root and Toph.
Where: Various.
What: Root has a doppelganger and kills her repeatedly. Toph has a doppelganger and has to face some emotions. One of them is having a much better time than the other. Contact me if you're interested in a thread!
Warnings: All of the Root and Shaw threads will have direct discussion and sometimes depiction of suicide.

Comments

( claude )

[computation]

[ Root has enjoyed working at the apothecary inasmuch as she's ever enjoyed working a normal job. Her boss is this cute guy who likes to chat about war crimes and government systems with her to kill time while she learns how to poison, incapacitate, and occasionally heal people using plants rather than formulated drugs. Sometimes she ducks out and disappears without warning, and he never complains too much about it. It's a good gig; keeps her busy.

She's not sure if Claude is going to be there with all the chaos going on outside, but she's getting pursued by an unkillable clone of herself either way and needs a defensible position. Doppelganger Root -- let's call her Samantha -- is some ways behind her, since presumably she's busy healing from having a leg blown off with a shotgun blast. Okay, three shotgun blasts. One wasn't enough.

But she knows she'll be coming after her relatively soon. Root ducks into the apothecary, using her employee key, with the sleek tactical shotgun slung over her shoulder on a strap and a pistol held low in one hand. There's plenty of other monsters about, apart from Samantha.

She hustles over toward the store supplies and then pauses, looking it over. She's covered in dust and blood and has some scrapes herself, but she's running on adrenaline, she's working, which means Root doesn't slow down for an instant. It only takes a moment of contemplation and then she's gathering up tinctures and scraping them into a customer bag.

Hopefully Claude will be cool about this, too, but if he isn't... oh well. ]

[feintofhart]

[ Claude is in fact at the apothecary -- but not there to stay. He's already been out and about to explore this new horrible state of affairs (he finds himself rather unflappable in the face of it all, knowing what he knows about how things go in this wretched place), but he returned for a brief period of rest, and to replenish his wares.

He's in the back, in the midst of replenishing his quiver with arrows when he hears the recognizable sound of a key twisting in the lock. His shoulders hunch, his eyes narrow; last time trouble followed him here, it had ended extraordinarily poorly, and he still has yet to recover the sense of safety he used to have here. He doesn't think he'll ever feel it again.

But that's personal. What's personal and what's right are two different things. If one of his employees is coming here to hide out, then he's glad any number of them feel the freedom to do it. Better than letting the bastards win. He creeps out of the room, little more than a shadow in the dim light of the doorway, arrow already nocked in his bow. He can't quite tell who it is at a glance, Root appearing as nothing more than a harried silhouette, but a quick cataloguing of his employees does the trick. ]

Root?

[ His bow is drawn swiftly, and pointed directly at her. It's nothing personal. If it really is her, he likes to think someone who jovially discusses military ethics with him as much as she does won't take it as such. ]

I'm going to be really mad if you're here to kill me.

[computation]

[ Root darts her head up when she hears him and gives him a quick smile, completely undeterred to have a weapon pointed at her. If anything, it makes her respect him more -- and it's a little attractive, honestly, not that she'd go for a man ten years her junior. ]

Not today! Who would pay me legal wages then? [ It's an easy quip, made with half of her brain only. Root is run a bit ragged and breathless. She keeps ruffling through the store supplies as she answers, completely shameless. ]

There is another one of me on her way to kill me, though, so if you wanted to shoot her in the eye or something, that would be great.

[feintofhart]

If you knock over any of my supplies, I won't be paying you any wages at all, [ Claude shoots right back at her, though he's wholly joking; he doesn't give a shit about damaging his supplies at this point. He's done this song and dance once, and he'll do it again. It's not a total guarantee that he doesn't need to shoot Root (who seems utterly unfazed by it in a way that Claude's frankly a little impressed by), but he decides to go based on his hunch anyway, trotting over to her side and peering suspiciously out the door window. ]

Isn't this where I ask you to prove that you're the original and the other one is a fake? I'd hate to shoot you unnecessarily. The real you, that is, without going into the philosophical validity of that phrase.

[ He knows they could get into a very spirited debate about the topic, but that's not important right now. The important part is that despite Root's general unflappability, she's still scuffed and filthy and bruised, out of breath in a way that tells of having had a very, very bad day. He's rightfully concerned, but currently more concerned about the idea of a prospective killer bursting through his door. Again.

He keeps his bow drawn. ]

[computation]

[ Root is always pretty cavalier about physical danger, but right now they're in a simulation; he can shoot her if he wants. Shaw would probably be cranky about it, but she'd deal. The main issue is that it would leave him facing Samaritan Root, aka Samantha, on his own, and Root isn't sure of his combat capabilities yet. Apart from the sexy archery thing, apparently. ]

Oh darn, [ Root says absently, right as she knocks something over. In an active combat situation, all rules are out the window, and she's starting to believe Claude is absolutely on the same page as her. Not like they both aren't joking about legal wages in the first place. ] Let's skip the mind games and just assume I'm the real one because I haven't shot you already.

[ Root has a bright peppy tone of voice. She legitimately can't think of a method of proof that would work; they don't know each other that well yet. ]

You'll see what I mean when you meet her. She's all business.

Okay-- [ She straightens up and holds two different tinctures out to Claude, one in each hand. ] Which one of these will keep someone absolutely insensible for longer? I need your wisdom, sensei.

[ For the record, she has never called him sensei before. ]

( semi-open )

[fieldtrip]

[ ooc: Toph threads, general structure is as follows:

1. First encounter with doppelganger; gets her ass kicked and taunted about being a lawless gremlin who her parents disowned
2. Regrouping and recovering with moral support
3. Rematch where she prevails by accepting who she is

Established CR is welcome to tag in to any of the below ♥ ]

( first encounter )

[fieldtrip]

[ Toph is really taken off guard to run into herself. She feels tiny to her own senses, but that rooted stance is unmistakable, and she doesn't have a whole lot of time to process it before an entire street light is being twisted out of the ground and comes flying at her. She reacts swiftly, stepping out of the way and rerouting the huge iron beam safely to skid down the middle of the vacant road, sparks flying against the pavement. ]

What the heck--

[ Doppel-Toph doesn't let up, is as unrelenting as Toph herself. The ground starts to shake as slabs of asphalt rise up and contort into jagged projectiles. Toph has to fend them off quickly, but she's hampered by trying to make sure she isn't causing collateral damage as she deflects them. ]

A little help, maybe! [ she yelps to whoever's nearby. She's not too proud to ask for help when she needs it.

A small figure enclosed in sheets of metal wrapped around like armor ominously strides toward her down the street. ]

That's all you got? You ran away for this -- you still think it's worth it?!

figured i'd hop in here, since it didn't get any bites!!!

[entreats]

[ It's not rare to hear the sound of chaos out in the streets with everything that's going on. Ange is pretty sure she's heard multiple people fighting the monsters in the streets - both from when she's inside, but also when she's stalking the streets on her own to try and find clues, trying to stay hidden from the monsters.

The latter is what was going on as she hears the sound of said chaos. Ange's initial instinct is to stay away from it, knowing she'd get scolded by at least someone if she were to get herself into too much trouble, but then Ange realizes she recognizes some sounds in that chaos.

She recognizes a voice, and it's--

Shit.

Ange immediately sprints in the direction she can hear it coming from - and indeed, it seems she was right about who is involved in the fight. That definitely is Toph, and the other person is--

Another Toph? The sheets of metal throw her off for a moment, but Ange is pretty sure that's what she's seeing here. And even with how unsure the redhead is about the situation in front of her, she waves a hand. It starts to glow with a golden light, and as Ange focuses, demonic circles start appearing on nearby buildings. Weird stake-like objects slide into existence out of them, and with another wave of the girl's hand, they drill themselves into the ground right in front of the metal-wearing Toph's feet.

Not into her feet. Not yet. Ange isn't sure of what's going on here, and there's a part of her that feels really queasy at the thought of hurting Toph by accident. ]

What's going on?! [ She calls out, trying to quickly analyze the situation in order to figure out how to best deal with it. ]

you're the best!! 🦡🦋

[fieldtrip]

I have no idea! [ Toph yells back, a bit panicked but immensely relieved to have Ange there as backup. After their experience in the caves, she's more comfortable fighting alongside her, and she has a lot of respect for Ange on a baseline level. For Toph this translates into respect as a combatant.

Metal-Toph is distracted assessing the spikes and seeing if she can bend them as the simplest method of dealing with it. If not, she's about to launch herself over them with a ground-powered leap.

Toph herself uses the momentary distraction to run over frantically to Ange. ]

I think that's me. I don't know, she just showed up and started attacking!

( regroup )

[fieldtrip]

[ Toph does not take failure well.

Normally she takes any mistakes as motivation to do better, to work on whatever weakness lead to her defeat, but how is she supposed to do that when the opponent is herself? When it's her overall, her whole repertoire of earthbending, that wasn't enough? That's who she is.

That's-- that's who she'd decided she was going to be, against her parents' wishes.

Toph is laying in the clinic recuperating, twisted on her side in the bed and pressing her face into a pillow to hide her tears. She's silent, but her shoulders shake finely, giving it away. ]

[baldrshand]

[Toph is good enough to read the movement of the sand and shape it to her will. So it's no good to try and do something like step softly, or make a noise before coming in so that she has time to try and hide her crying. It'll just have to be straightforward, walking into the room and being brisk.

Ethlyn can't help but feel for the girl. Facing yourself isn't easy even when it is not, literally, a duplicated you on the attack.]

Have you managed to get any rest?

[fieldtrip]

[ She's good enough to sense that, but right now she's very distracted, wrapped up in her own feelings. Trying to ignore the world in the classic teenage hallmark Toph would sorely wish would bypass her. Her whole thing is facing things head on -- she has to face this. She knows she does. ]

No, [ she moans into her pillow like a petulant kid, the fabric mumbling her words. ] I just keep thinking about what I need to do next time I face her. How I can do better.

[ Maybe Toph should take it as a compliment that it was so difficult to fight herself, but right now, it feels very far from a compliment. ]

[melnik]

[ With the state of utter state of things outside and the communicators on the fritz, Miller's priorities have quickly become very simple ones this go around: he needs to find his friends. Whoever is unaccounted for, assuming they can gather together enough to come up with a reliable count. Although the clinic is an obvious safehouse, he had been relieved to see the lights were on.

He's even more relieved when he enters to sees Toph curled up in one of the beds. ]

Toph! There you are!

[ Miller rushes towards where she's resting, too quick to act with the care he probably should, that he might normally employ, at the sight of her so uncharacteristically small. He only recognizes it once he's close, and after taking a breath, squats down beside her and puts a hand on her shoulder. ]

Hey. What happened?

[fieldtrip]

[ Usually Toph's personality takes up the whole room, but right now she's curled in on herself, distraught. At least until she hears Miller, feels the hand on her shoulder. She can't stand for him to see her like this; she shoots upright, jostling his hand away, angrily swiping at her face to clear the tears. ]

Have you run into the copies of us yet? Because they suck, [ she bursts out with, eloquently. ]

( rematch )

[fieldtrip]

[ This time she's trying something different. This time she has a friend with her, reminding her that who she is even without her parents is enough, that she's been right all along to define for herself what that means.

She lets out a breath like Aang meditating and then sets off, face twisted into obstinate determination. ]

Let's go. I'm going to find her and then I'm going to bury her alive.

[ Obviously she's done a great job coping so far. ]

[westcoasts]

( clint dealing with his own doppelganger had been entirely inadvertent, and truth be told, he's not entirely sure if it was one factor or a combination of all of it — that is, clint's immediate response had been to shoot arrows at himself (question mark) because nothing good's ever come from encountering yourself, especially when you're (it's) taking the time to effectively layout all the ways in which you (actual you) suck.

fortunately, or unfortunately, none of it had been anything that clint hasn't already told himself in various different ways, hasn't already thought, hasn't already heard albeit maybe slightly softer from others. so whether it was wry acceptance that yeah, he's aware — bryce, bobbi, karla, his entire apartment building, even barney — that his actions have consequences for other people, or whether it was the far more satisfying response of loosing a half-dozen arrows at himself, clint's not yet taken the time to consider how that translates for anyone else.

and hell, maybe it's different for each of them, 'cause they're all different. who knows, whatever, point is, it hadn't exactly been fun, which is in part why he's here. why he's accompanying toph because in spite of that breath, in spite of the painfully evident determination to do precisely what she says she's going to do, the statement in and of itself is what solidifies clint's opinion that yeah, company's probably the best thing. )

Sure, ( level, light agreement. ) 'Cause we wouldn't want to go and do anything overly drastic now.

[fieldtrip]

This place is so stupid, [ Toph says loudly, stomping along with the absolute tone and attitude of a pre-teen. Child enough to want to whine and be heard, old enough to have a modicum of self-awareness, which means she goes on venting, waving her hands in the air as she goes. Toph always takes outright losing hard, but losing to herself was a cruel irony all on its own. She has so much pride she practically fills up a whole room with it on personality alone despite her small size. And being asked is it worth it--

Those are the kinds of things she emphatically doesn't ask herself. ]

This isn't as bad as the time I lost my bending and thought I was a useless little girl for a whole month, but honestly, what the hell? All I'm learning from this is to bring backup to fight a powerful opponent, which, duh.

I'll take care of the defense, you be offense. I'm okay at deflecting projectiles but if you move as little as possible to telegraph it, I probably can't predict it. And don't go easy on other me cause we look alike or whatever, or I'm smacking you next.

[ This is how Toph expresses gratitude for the company. ]

[cactusy]

[Shaw - "Shaw" - wears sweatpants and a gray tank top, her feet in anti-slip hospital slippers not made for the outdoors. This doesn't stop her from skulking down the street, heading in the direction of Charles' apartment - and then, abruptly, switching tack and going for Root instead, calling out to her as she approaches.]

Root.

[Her voice is low, intense, and perfectly Shaw-like.]

I need to tell you about Ayumi Kagawa.

[computation]

[ Root has not yet encountered any of the doubles, but she already starts to assume something must be going on based on how Shaw's dressed. She looks like she just escaped from a hospital ward. Or a Samaritan facility. Between that, the spooky darkness, and electronics malfunctioning, Root is on alert.

But her instinct is to think Shaw's being messed with, so she turns to her with her brow furrowed in concern. ]

All right. Who's Ayumi Kagawa?

[cactusy]

A geneticist.

[Shaw continues her approach, her body language tense and frustrated but not yet openly hostile. She comes to a stop directly in front of Root, only about half a foot away - much closer than is typical for her in normal conversation.]

Samaritan thought her work was gonna wreak havoc on some ecosystem or another, so Decima brought me to kill her, and I did. Shot her point blank. Maybe you heard about it; it was in the news. A lot of my kills have been in the news.

[computation]

Oh-- her.

[ Root looks at her searchingly, trying to somehow see through Shaw's impenetrable exterior into what is going on internally. For a moment she wonders if she's having an issue again about thinking she'll betray the team and shoot them, but Root realizes she's the only one here, and also the only one Shaw had never managed to kill in the simulations. ]

Sad, but one of the many casualties in the war against Samaritan, [ she says crisply. ] You want to compare lists of kills we regret?

[ She raises her eyebrows expectantly. ]

[cactusy]

[As the days have gone on, Shaw has grown progressively more withdrawn. She's not hostile, or even properly rude (or not more than usual, anyway), but she stays away from Charles' apartment for hours at a time, often into the night.

Like this evening, for instance. She's been sitting on an empty rooftop for four hours straight: legs dangling over the edge, gun loaded in her hands.]

cw: overt discussion of suicide this whole thread

[computation]

[ Root hasn't been having a fun time -- but she also hasn't been having an awful time, not the way Shaw has. Being forced to accept how razor-thin the margin was on her finding the Machine and changing her ways was a difficult mental twist for her to make, but it wasn't totally foreign. Root has never had any illusions about who she is; it was just, ironically, difficult to switch from murdering her double to actually talking to her.

Maybe that was the point after all. It's giving her a lot of thoughts about how the A.I. might be defining rehabilitation, which is a topic she's started putting more effort into given the lack of other threads to pull currently.

But all this aside, she hasn't missed Shaw going off on her own for increasing lengths of time. Root's double is gone, dissolved into the mist with her self-acceptance, apparently, but Shaw's is not. The fact that Shaw takes her dark net communicator with her when she leaves is a good sign; it means she's conflicted but not committed to doing something. And it means she can't be too surprised when Root finally tracks her down, through giving her space.

Finding her sitting on the edge of a tall building with a loaded gun isn't a huge surprise, but fear still lurches to her throat. Simulation or not, rational logic or not, Root has a very visceral reaction to seeing Sameen considering killing herself. ]

I thought we agreed that if you were going to test the simulation, I'd test it with you.

[ Root's referencing their original conversation about it, back when they'd first found each other again, in the bleak woods with Shaw a feral animal hiding from humanity. She doesn't quite achieve the light, airy delivery she's going for; she sounds tense, striding forward with determined footsteps to close the gap between them and join her on the ledge without a moment's hesitation. ]

[cactusy]

[Shaw doesn't react to Root's approach until she speaks, even though she hears the footsteps before that - and even when Root does speak, even when Root sits down next to her, she doesn't turn to face her.]

And I thought I made it clear that that wasn't an option.

[computation]

Can you let me have a crumb of agency in this conversation?

[ Root is scared more than anything, her voice underscored with urgency and intensity. ]

Do I get to be real enough to have feelings?