( open ) if we're all just cynics come undone

Who: Rafal + You
Where: Around
What: Day in the life + Test Drive prompts
Warnings: N/A

( i. fun house )

[ rafal had wandered aimlessly through the carnival. the sweets and treats were fine, grabbing his attention but the rest seemed rather trivial. he didn't understand the enjoyment people received from activities like these. but then again, rafal knows he doesn't have the best sense of humour. he deadened those feelings long ago.

he pauses at his reflection. he looks the same as ever. thousands of years and he feels nothing has changed in his heart. he's still —

but the reflection warps. just slightly. the rafal that stands in the mirror is a softer version. smiles in his eyes, a cowardly bent to his posture. hands that rubbed together anxiously as he struggled to make eye contact. rafal's own eyes widened as he steps back in shock. ]

Nil?

[ at the sound of his name, "nil" looks back at rafal. his face takes on a mournful cast, tears running down his face. rafal swallows tightly at the sight of him, his brother and he nearly reaches out to touch him. but nil's next words freeze him in place. ]

Why, Rafal? I let you take my place. I saved your life. All I asked is that you protected my sister. Why?

[ rafal flinches openly, his expression turning into a snarl before he throttles it. ]

Shut up. You don't — You weren't there. I did the best I could. Living that lie for centuries.

[ nil shakes his head slowly, his gaze not leaving rafal. ]

That lie was the only thing that gave meaning to your life. You knew your worth. You knew. And yet you hurt her. Manipulated her. You got her killed. You think a thousand years of silence and heartbreak is enough? You think simply because you brought her back that you would change your fate?

[ those words hit him squarely in the chest. rafal struggles to speak, the grief and rage cloying his throat. ]

Don't — Don't do this, Nil. I — I loved you. I tried.

[ he turns on his heel, attempting to leave. but the reflection of nil pursues him throughout until rafal gasps, going on his knees. ]

Stop. Stop!

( ii. fortune telling )

[ this was not an art he ever gave much thought to.

seadall did fortune telling at night for the residents of the somniel, but rafal never attended those sessions. he generally kept his distance from the rest of the army. after all, it wasn't too long ago when he was their enemy. when he made them fight amalgations of themselves. destroyed a world in his wake. he rather not push his goodwill while he has it. curiousity pulled him to visit a fortune teller this time though. here in this artificial world, he's less sure of his oath. his direction. before, it was easy. he could follow alear. trusted alear.

here . . . who could he trust? especially when he cannot trust himself.

rafal wanders away from the tent, turning the tarot card he received. the card of justice. it was explained to him that he represented this card. upright, truth, clarity. reversed, it was dishonesty, unaccountability. was that his fate? in time, would he discard his truths?

he bumps into someone and the card falls to the ground. rafal sighs, bending down to grip it. ]

My apologies.

[ he picks up the card, still frowning. on a whim, he asks out loud. ]

Do you believe in fate?

( iii. flying around — dragon style )

[ there's nothing rafal enjoys more than flying.

finally having his own dragonstone, it's impossible to resist the siren call of retreating into his draconic form and take to the air. to beat his large wings and tower over the city as an omen of doom. it makes him chuckle a little. reformed he may be, rafal still believes in striking some terror in people's hearts. it affords him power.

he circles around the city, the beach and other areas of aldrip before landing in a field outside the city. rafal sits down, his tail swaying idly as he watches the scenery content. if you are brave enough, you can bother him for a conversation. ]

( iv. cafe time )

[ rafal doesn't care for bars and nightlife. the only thing he deeply enjoys are bakeries and cafes. he can always be found in one somewhere, with a mountain of sugar packets along with plates of desserts and drinks.

you can watch in horror as he dumps packet upon packet of sugar on his food, takes a bite and grimaces. ]

Not sweet enough. Not yet.

[ judge his eating habits. ]

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[ ah. no wonder. ]

I have ended a world. Everything there went silent.

[Ruca's eyes widen.]

But... why? Why did you do that?

[ rafal shrugs, laconic. he has no shame admitting this. bearing his sins is part of his change. ]

I needed power. I needed to prove myself as my father's heir. My father wished to ruin the world.

[ and sombron . . . was the only person who saw him. though rafal will never know for sure whom he saw. rafal, the hidden child or "nil" the twin of nel? ]

...I see. That's unfortunate.

[Destroying a world is a horrible thing, but living to be someone's heir is something Ruca can relate to.]

It's difficult, isn't it? Living under your father's expectations.

[ rafal snorts. ]

"Difficult" would be putting it mildly.

My father had children so he could possess disposal soldiers. He pitted us against one another. If he wasn't killing us, one of my siblings would.

[That... actually sounds far more horrible than he imagined.]

I'm sorry. You went through so much.

Dry your eyes.

It does not excuse what I've done. As you said. No fate was involved in my choices.

[A small nod.]

I hope things will work out better for you from now on. You... don't have to follow anyone's order anymore, do you?

Just one, but they're not the kind of person to give orders anyway.

[ the divine dragon is their leader. rafal can recognize their choices as good ones. ]

So... it's a kind person?

[Ruca hopes it is.]

One of the kindest. Stupidly so, at times.

They should have killed me, but chose not to.

That sounds to me like you're in good hands.

Is that person here with you?

No.

I am the only person from my world.

Ah, I see... I'm the only person from my world here, too.

I hope you can see your friend soon.

[ rafal shrugs. ]

I have no doubts about seeing them again.

And loneliness means little to me.

So you're the kind of person who prefers being alone?

[ rafal blinks, caught off guard. ]

I'm simply used to it. Either I was with my sister or by myself.

[ he never connected with the four winds. alear was . . . well, he left that to nel. now, things are different but he's not sure how he feels about it. people can accept him as rafal but should they? ]

I see... Connecting to people can be a little tricky anyway. I always had trouble with that.

[When it's okay to call someone your "friend"? He still struggles with that.]

But I think it's all worth it. And it may be actually easier here, since we're away from everything that is happening in our worlds.

[ hmm. ]

You think so? I imagine it is harder. There may be less barriers, but who knows how long our time here will be?

It is tenuous at best.

I think that nothing ever lasts forever, even if you live for hundreds of years. There will be many people you meet along the way and even if you become friends with them, one day you may part ways anyway. But it doesn't make those friendships any less valuable.

[Even his friends back home... He knows that one day they will all go their separate ways, but while it's a sad thought, he's still so glad he met them all.]

...That's just my thoughts, though.

[ he gives a low snort. ]

I certainly don't think any relationship would last long.

[ especially not with humans. he's never minded that. they are who they are, just like he is. ]

Still, this place isn't measured in years. Months, days at most.

Even days is still nice. I'm not quite sure if that's enough to call someone a friend... But I still think it's worth it!

[He pauses.]

It may be sad to see someone gone after such a short time, though... At the same time, maybe it's for the best they won't stay here long.

[ hm. rafal mulls this over. ]

What is it worth? Having a friend.

[He thinks about a reply for a moment, unsure how to express his feelings on this complicated matter. Having friends is so great, it gives him purpose in life, it makes him feel less alone, it--]

To me it... makes the world look brighter, no matter how bad it actually is.

[It really is just that.]

[ rafal blinks, his expression wide-eyed. ]

It does?

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