expiationlogs | ★ AUG. (CATCH ALL); & when time at last consumes me, Broken & unholy。

[Morph slowly nods, though they were still more inclined to be stubborn on that front. Crying is what 2 AM insomnia was for. And yeah, that sounded terrible even in their own head, but they had their own ways of coping. Being stuck here without a dedicated drinking buddy hadn't helped.]

Yeah, I... I know all of the Chosen were in the middle it. That might make it easier.

[Might. They barely knew those kids, and even though Scott was a younger version of the adult they were semi-friendly with, a decade of difference was a lot. Morph couldn't blame them if they decided that having them hang around was too much to deal with. The whole concept of 'mutants sticking together' could only go so far.

They know exactly what Rogue is talking about, too. Morph had an earlier conversation with Scott about Rogue's face-heel turn, and though they hoped they had gotten across some of the nuances, Scott clearly hadn't cared for her decisions. Morph didn't care for all of Rogue's decisions either, but...]

He hasn't lived through the same things we have. Scott even told me that people with visible mutations can walk around in public where he's from. Whatever his world is like, it must not be as messed up as ours is.

Or it hasn't pitched a hissy fit yet.

[ but a world where mutations can just walk around feely despite their appearance sounds more like fairy tale than true reality. it seems the professor's dream worked in someone's timeline. it's unfortunate their world didn't get so lucky, but at least it was possible or peace somewhere?

she gathers herself off the grass, shooing away any dirt off the knees before wrapping back around to the other side of the table to sit again. ]

Maybe give it a day or two to let what happened sink in, then maybe reach out to those two.

Edited 2024-08-09 00:49 (UTC)

Yeah... that could happen.

[It wasn't a pleasant thought, but being a mutant was never easy. Or were the two of them just too jaded now to consider it? Why couldn't there be a timeline where things were going great for mutants? One of the few nice things about Aldrip was that Morph could walk around without having to wear a different face, and no one really seemed to mind. Didn't they deserve to have something so simple?

Turning back to their plate, Morph shoves a fork-full of baked beans into their mouth and chews for a moment.]

I'll try that. I said a lot of things I shouldn't have... and I'm sure they're going to have questions. So yeah, putting it off a little longer sounds great.

How'd you do during that whole mess, anyway?

[ there's a curiosity there that bubbles in the surface on what they could have said to the duo, but she doesn't pry. she'll respect the fact it's a conversation between the three of them, unless morph feels comfortable enough to air it out. so instead, she shoves another spoon full of macaroni, then does the same and chews. ]

Scott and I had our own lil' tussle when it came to Kurt. He was infected and thought... a way for us to live peaceful was to end our sufferin'. From a wild mind, I see how one would come to that idea.

Kurt had it too? The poor kid...

[Being out of control of your own mind was something Morph wouldn't wish on their worst enemy. It was even worse to hear that the gnosia had struck another mutant, and someone like Kurt, who didn't have a bad bone in his body?]

It twisted my way of thinking, too. Being gnosia felt like being, well, double a mutant. I was taking the threat of being hunted really seriously. Like it was kill or be killed.

[Maybe in a sense, it was - if the gnosia itself was intelligent, had any self-preservation instincts, it would've seen its hosts being cured as death. Morph couldn't begin to guess if that was the case. They had no sympathy for it, whether it was some mindless force or not.]

Is Kurt gonna be okay? He's way too young to have to go through something like that.

I... I don't know. I haven't spoken to the furball since then. I was hopin' he'd answer my lil' get together, but... quiet as a church mouse.

[ which worries her, no doubt. she'll have to reach out to him personally once everyone has gotten their own filling of this little buffet. this incident always leaves rogue a little beside herself, too.

she wants to go home more than anything, but... if all happenings in this place are similar to what they've experienced, would it would be a good idea to leave everyone high and dry? maybe it would be a better idea to stay and try to make this world safe... if this world is real. ]

Let me know if you need my help, but I'm sure he'll want to hear from you more than me. He's... he's probably feeling pretty guilty about it.

[Morph could sympathize; they had felt guilty about attacking the team for a long time while they were recuperating on Muir Island, during their first go-around with mind control. As an adult, they had arguably been in a far better position to process all of that then a teenager would be.

Yeah, they had plenty of reason to be worried. The gnosia thing had landed like a bomb on the entire city, and since neither of them knew the teenage mutants that well yet... Morph just had to hope that whatever bonds they had from being from similar worlds, or being mutants or alternate versions of their friends, would be tough enough to withstand this.]

You know, the cookout you have going here was a great idea. I think all of us need something normal like this to get back to... you know, regular daily life. I know I sure did.

[ a fatigued smile dance weakly across the woman's face as she begins to shovel her meal around with her fork, than scoffing it down like before. ]

Seems like a lifetime ago when we were all in the kitchen and tellin' Scott to cool his jets, and [ ... ] — Madelyn was due to pop any day now.

A lotta times, I've been wishin' we could grab Bishop's lil' doohickey and... go back to that. Or just, do it all over different. But I know that ain't gonna do us any good.

[Oh boy, does the homesickness hit with that one. Back when everything was peaceful, before the disasters got worse and worse... yeah, Morph missed that, too. So much it hurt sometimes.]

That doesn't mean we can't get there again. We'll find a way back, Rogue. We can even find a way to fix what's wrong at home. I know, a lot's messed up right now and we can't turn back the clock, but we can work through it.

[Yeah, they're going there again. Morph had promised Scott that they would keep trying, and besides, they know it's got to be part of what's on Rogue's mind. As things were right now, even if they did go home right this second, their family was split apart.]

Yeah... Yeah, I know. [ she says, almost in a whisper and forcing a wider smile this time. ] — As I've said before, things may be bad, but the cards are always in the X-Men's favor.

[ saying that is still extremely painful to say, but it's his words that help her push forward and her head up high for the last month or so. if only he was still alive to sprout out more irritating cajun wisdom on her. ]

Exactly. [They say it with a smile of their own, one that's almost relieved. Morph couldn't think of a better way to honor Remy's memory than to just remember who he was. They're all too aware that memories fade, no matter how much you wanted to hold onto them.]

And hey, it's not all bad. We kept a meteor from hitting Earth, and that's got to count for something. Well - you guys did. Call me moral support.

[Morph's powers just weren't any help in that particular scenario, and besides, someone had to keep an eye on Logan. There wasn't anywhere else they would've wanted to be in that moment. They at least got a chance to say something, just in case the team perished in the attempt. Morph is still pretty sure no one died, even if how they and Rogue had ended up here was completely mysterious.]

Hey, moral support is just as important in my book. Keep our heads straight when things get outta control.

[ ... except she went rogue (ha) after returning from genosha, and she refused to listen to anyone's reasoning and comfort words. but she also felt it wasn't the time to sit around and waddle in sadness when the incident was still so fresh, and she could find bring justice in some sort of way. ]

— Ya know, Morph Honey, since we both gotta face Scott, maybe we can work on each other's apology speeches. Grade on each other if we pass or fail before the big exam.

[ this is her attempt to take their incidents, and twist it into some sort of a light-hearted fun thing. ]

Edited 2024-08-16 22:27 (UTC)

I'm glad you think so! Makes me feel a little better about getting benched.

[They don't sound at all bothered by it, though. No, it's Rogue's next suggestion that ends with Morph making a bit of a face, pausing to chew through another bite of food as they thought it over.

Some of what they had said to the teenage Scott was really heavy stuff. As much as they needed to apologize for it, they also didn't want to drag this conversation back down. It's a good thing Morph only selectively takes things seriously.]

Then I'll start.

'Hey kiddo, sorry I turned into some monster from a horror movie. I don't hate the adult you THAT much, I just think he's boring. And Logan and I make fun of him behind his back. But you're way cooler now than you're going to be when you're in your 30s, so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Just ignore all that other stuff I said, that weird alien force had a real chip on its shoulder.'

[ when morph seems to agree about her possibly corny idea, and volunteered to go first, rogue scoots her plate aside from now so she wouldn't grow fully distracted by its delicious looks and aroma. and when they start, the mutant straightens her back in her chair... ]

['Hey kiddo, sorry I turned into some monster from a horror movie. I don't hate the adult you THAT much, I just think he's boring. —'

wait, is she hearing this right?

'And Logan and I make fun of him behind his back. But you're way cooler now than you're going to be when you're in your 30s —'

this... this can't be the serious and messed up thing they had said to him and this kotone. or maybe they're just putting the talk lightly? ]

Edited 2024-08-18 17:17 (UTC)

['so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Just ignore all that other stuff I said, that weird alien force had a real chip on its shoulder.'

rogue's expression slowly scrunches, and her nose wrinkles as if she just got a whiff of something that went extremely sour, but not having the slightest idea where the source of that horrible stench is coming from. but regardless of her look, she patiently waits for her companion to finish their rehearsal. ]

[ ..................................... ]

... Now, lemme see if I'm gettin' this right, Sugah. This horrible, terrible thing you said to Scott while you were infected was that you hated him 'cause he wasn't cool?

Well, no....

[Morph looks a little like they'd just gotten scolded, even though Rogue hadn't been that harsh at all. They were going to have to really fess up to it, weren't they?]

... I told him he needed to die. Because... without him around, the Morph in his world would get to be taken home for a burial instead of left out there with the sentinels.

I wasn't in my right mind, Rogue. [That much is probably obvious, but they felt the need to say it.]

[ ... oh. now hearing their complete story, her heart freezes in gloom and ache. she can't imagine how scott must be feeling, with her having conflicted feelings about humans and now with morph expressing how he needed to die.

he must think the X-Men are monsters, and not at all the champions who represent that mutants and humans can coexist if they use their extraordinary talents correctly. she can feel her eyes burning, but she blinks rapidly, so the tears won't see the light of day. because they can still turn all of this around, and show they are the good guys... or maybe there's a chance for morph to prove that. it might be game over for her.

the woman stretches her hand over the table to grab a hold of theirs, squeezing lovingly as her gloved thumb carcasses along. it's time like these, she wishes she could feel another person's skin and vice versa to express the real comfort she wants to show. ]

Oh, Morph. [ she says, her voice in quivers again, but trying to stay intact. ] You weren't. None of the infected were. Scott might be younger and from a different Earth, but Scott is still Scott. He'll understand, I know he will.

I don't think that way anymore. I haven't for a few years. The gnosia just... dug it all up.

[Morph just feels like it's important to say it. The last time they had been too inside their own head was when they were stuck on Muir Island, while Moira was treating them and they had way too much time to sit and think about what had happened. But things had gotten better again, way better, so it honestly wasn't something they dwelled on much.

They manage a faint smile, turning their hand in her grasp to squeeze her gloved fingers in return.]

Yeah, he's a good kid. I'm just going to have to explain why I said all that stuff, and it's going to make an apology tougher. It's not just that it's personal... I don't want to only tell him stories about the bad things that the X-Men have faced.

[ rogue swallows a dry lump in her throat, and pushes a hollow chuckle pass her lips as she shakes her head. ]

Ain't that the truth, Honey? I blame that damn app for havin' me tell Scott about me and Erik. I'm not ashamed of... having relations with him, but... Erik and I were trying to keep the past where it belonged. Keep everything tucked in a closet.

[ except, now looking back, it was probably painfully obvious there was something going on. with the way they've always seemed to conveniently disappear together, show up during their meetings together, and magneto wanted rogue to tag along with him to genosha alone until gambit protested that idea, and demanded to come with them. ]

And me confessin' about him led me into explaining why I was with a terrorist, then about Genosha, and then... my choice. I didn't make what we faced sound any better, either.

[Sorry Rogue, but Morph did end up spotting that one. Who books the danger room that often unless they're fooling around in there??? It was probably the one place in the mansion you could get up to something without being overheard. They hadn't for one second thought that was innocent.]

Believe me, I understand why you wanted to keep it quiet. It took all of us a while to even start getting used to him being around, and then...

[Well, then Genosha happened. If it weren't for that, Magneto wouldn't have gone right off the deep end. For a minute there, it really seemed like Erik leading the X-Men was going to work out... that the two different philosophies had finally coalesced into one goal. No such luck, though.]

Wait, so he knew Magneto was a terrorist? Did he say anything at all about what the one on his world is like? Maybe he's a worse guy in their timeline. Or maybe Scott doesn't know enough about him to, well, really get where he might be coming from.

[Then again, Genosha on its own was a terrible story. That would be enough to scare anyone.]

Yeah, he knew, but he didn't say much about him 'sides he was one, and he was against humans. — Ain't that far off from ours.

[ but whether scott's magneto attempted to bring peace and for everyone to coexist is up in the air. she releases her hold on morph's hand and sags back into her seat, arms folded over her chest to avert her gaze while wearing an unease expression. ]

And I... might've carried on about what Erik did to shut down the Prime Sentinels.

[ and rogue doesn't need to tell nor explain to her companion how that conversation went down, it was like someone decided to hit the rewind button on the VHS tape to that exact scene. ]

Well hey, there's no reason to keep things from him, either. As much as I don't want to scare him, it's no good to omit things. That'd be like... I don't know, preventing him from being prepared.

[What they wouldn't give for some advice from the Professor right now. Was dealing with teenagers normally this hard? Or just the ones from different timelines?]

What Erik did was a sledgehammer move, but honestly? I don't know how else we could've dealt with the Prime Sentinels. In sheer numbers it was practically an army, and they're tough to fight. I... I don't know if it was worth the damage, but if it hadn't happened, I'm not sure we would've survived it.

[And how many other mutants had Magneto saved in the process? There was no way the Prime Sentinels were only targeting the X-Men. It was damned if you do, damned if you don't, and the only difference was that Erik hadn't hesitated. And if he had only decided to work with the X-Men instead of giving into his rage... they could've avoided a good chunk of the disaster that followed.]

Did you tell him that Magneto was leading the team for a while there? It might've been rocky, but we were working together, and that's not nothing.

[ it really was a gutsy move, and she can't say much since she didn't hesitate with sending trask to his death. except that man had already died when he became a prime sentinel. the woman nods to his question, then nudges her plate back in front of her. again, waste not. ]

I told him, and he responded like you'd think. [ in fact, the mutant hums out a small chuckle as she picks up her fork to shove. ] — Heh, just like our Scott. But ours was a lil' angrier, I think. Hard to tell over text.

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mightymorphin - 2024-08-26 20:13 (UTC) - Expand

★ AUG. (CATCH ALL); & when time at last consumes me, Broken & unholy。

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cw: suicidal ideation

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