Vi honestly and truly doesn't know how to feel. but she knows she's crying on her end of the line, and she's glad that no one can see her right now. everything hurts so much... and she's so frustrated. why could nothing just be simple? while she's glad that Jinx had been taken care of to some degree all those years... why did it have to be him? the person who ruined their entire family...
god, she hates this.
finally, she gets control of herself long enough to use the voice-to-text again:]
i know. i know i did wrong that day. there was just so much...
[no more excuses, she thinks.]
if i could go back and change it, i would. i never should've...
[goddammit she hates crying like this. another pause.]
i'm glad that you were taken care of. i just need some time to wrap my head around it. i don't know that i can forgive Silco for what happened, and i don't know that i like you hanging around him, but i need to also get it through my head i can't make you do anything.
i know. u dont have to forgive him and im not expecting him to accept u w open arms either. anyone w eyes can see that wont happen.
i know u two will hate each other. maybe forever. but lets just... i dont know. maybe this time, can we not have anyone else die? i dont know if i can handle another... person im close to or who i consider as family die again.
and hes not going to poison me, vi. he knows not to lie to me ever again. he doesnt like im in contact w u, but hes going to have to get over it and deal w it. im not going to stop being around u, talk to u, or see u as my big sis bc it makes him feel some kind of way. especially when we agreed we are going to start over. i know ive been... shitty. but... ill try a lil harder this time ok?
if he runs his mouth i can't make any promises right now. him showing up is like ripping off a goddamn scab.
[she's trying to work through her own trauma too, so. every time she looks at him, she sees Vander dying in front of her. struggling to speak his last words.]
we've all been shitty. it's not really much of a contest. but i'm going to try, too. for you... and only for you.
i get it. hes a talker. he use to yank my ear off with lectures, ha ha.
( now she doesn't mind them so much. knowing he died by her hands, she would sit and listen to him for hours just so she knows he is breathing still. )
i know im suppose to say sorry about breaking ur stuff. but i dont know, i like breaking things so its hard to say sorry hahaha!
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expiationlogs2023-08-09 08:37 pm
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Vi honestly and truly doesn't know how to feel. but she knows she's crying on her end of the line, and she's glad that no one can see her right now. everything hurts so much... and she's so frustrated. why could nothing just be simple? while she's glad that Jinx had been taken care of to some degree all those years... why did it have to be him? the person who ruined their entire family...
god, she hates this.
finally, she gets control of herself long enough to use the voice-to-text again:]
i know. i know i did wrong that day. there was just so much...
[no more excuses, she thinks.]
if i could go back and change it, i would. i never should've...
[goddammit she hates crying like this. another pause.]
i'm glad that you were taken care of. i just need some time to wrap my head around it. i don't know that i can forgive Silco for what happened, and i don't know that i like you hanging around him, but i need to also get it through my head i can't make you do anything.
just... promise me that he won't poison you.
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i know u two will hate each other. maybe forever. but lets just... i dont know. maybe this time, can we not have anyone else die? i dont know if i can handle another... person im close to or who i consider as family die again.
and hes not going to poison me, vi. he knows not to lie to me ever again. he doesnt like im in contact w u, but hes going to have to get over it and deal w it. im not going to stop being around u, talk to u, or see u as my big sis bc it makes him feel some kind of way. especially when we agreed we are going to start over. i know ive been... shitty. but... ill try a lil harder this time ok?
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[she's trying to work through her own trauma too, so. every time she looks at him, she sees Vander dying in front of her. struggling to speak his last words.]
we've all been shitty. it's not really much of a contest. but i'm going to try, too. for you... and only for you.
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( now she doesn't mind them so much. knowing he died by her hands, she would sit and listen to him for hours just so she knows he is breathing still. )
i know im suppose to say sorry about breaking ur stuff. but i dont know, i like breaking things so its hard to say sorry hahaha!
( she has a bizarre kink. )
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you don't have to do that next time you need something, you know. just let me know. i'll let you have it.
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im. kidding. heh. trying to bring in the laughs ha ha.
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just remember what i said, okay?
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love u.
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