[Of course he would be by Scott's side, Ryoji's the one who brought him here after all. It's a great blessing that Scott isn't dead, merely severely injured, considering how the incident with the Gnosia is still an echo in the scarfed boy's mind.
He rushed here as soon as he could, Scott tucked safely in Thanatos' arms. There are limits to the first aid that he knows, and the clinic was his best chance at surviving. It's a good thing that Scott woke up pretty soon - a sign of his health quickly returning - but Ryoji still decided it would be prudent to keep guard for now. No gallivanting into danger again until you've fully recovered!
At least he does have snacks. He offers both Phoenix and Scott some potato chips.]
This is the only thing I have, but I hope that's enough.
[Along with those memories of his transformed girlfriend (and the horrible screams she made), Scott has a couple of vague images of Ryoji transformed and carrying him to safety. Foggy memories of the young teen revealing his 'true self' and looking different enough to the point that Scott wondered if he just dreamed all that up. He did have his head partially smacked by a harp, so it wouldn't be impossible. But hearing Ryoji's voice right now, even as he's turned away from him, Scott can't help but wonder if all that really happened.
He's definitely hurting enough to know that getting beaten up by his girlfriend certainly happened. It brings forth a new wave of pain, while his heart still aches for Kotone. He wants to check on her-- he wants to see her, but his body really isn't cooperating. It hurts to breathe sometimes.
Phoenix, for her part, seems to have fully welcomed Ryoji now, the spoilt bird snacking on an offered chip before 'cooing' in front of Death. Okay, perhaps they can be friends now. He helped save her host from that screeching monster!]
...You brought me here, didn't you?
[Scott doesn't comment about the snacks yet and he's still turned away, but at least he's responding.]
[In all honesty, Thanatos remains a form that Ryoji isn’t comfortable being into as much as possible. It awakens something primal an ancient in him, something that is decidedly not the human facade he has enjoyed being as for the longest time. However, all of those fears and anxieties are the last thing in one’s mind when you see someone you cherish to have such deep injuries. And those caused by someone just as important to you, too!
Ryoji might cursed his existence as a non-human before, but not this time. Not when it gives him the strength and means to intervene and save a life. And now Life itself seems to thank him for his deed, happily snacking on the chip in his hands. It’s something he would like to celebrate about, once all this mess is over.]
…Yes, I did. You were in a pretty bad shape when I got there.
[For now, his voice remains kind and considerate — Scott will face him when he’s ready.]
That was Kotone-chan, wasn’t it? I could recognize that Persona anywhere.
[With one last chirp from Phoenix, she takes her bag of snacks to a corner of the bed, fully trusting Death to not do anything to hurt her host. She will be nearby, of course, ready to puff up and face him if anything should go wrong!! But look, she wants to make a little trash pile right here. Leave her alone.
Scott notices and despite the almost comical way Phoenix is behaving, he still keeps himself staring at the wall. The window. Just anything that wouldn't remind him of what happened, even though it's impossible to avoid those images. The pain that still dully throbs throughout his body from where the harp bashed into him.
At least he can breathe without coughing up blood.
Of course, Ryoji is asking about what happened, so there's really no avoiding it. If he really wanted, Scott knows that he can probably ignore his friend until he leaves, but he owes him this much, even if he already knows the answer.]
...Yes, that was Kotone. [There's a hitch in his voice, like Scott is trying to stop himself from crying again or anything else. He's alive, he's still here. It's fine-- it's not her fault. It really isn't. He doesn't blame her. He loves her so much still and shouldn't he be looking for her now?? Why is he lying on this bed??]
I-It wasn't her fault, Ryoji. She's in pain. [He finally turns in his bed, his visor staring straight at Ryoji.] Where is she??
[Phoenix is a comforting scene of levity in all of this, to be honest. The chips were supposed to be for Scott, but Ryoji can just bring more snacks later on — especially when Scott doesn’t seem to be in the mood for eating at the moment.
It’s painful to see him like this. Knowing why that stare exist, knowing as much as Ryoji does, knowing that there’s no easy solution to all of this. Kotone isn’t here with them, chiming in with her usual laughter, and that is everything that is wrong with this image.
Now Scott lies broken at all of it, and Ryoji must pick at the pieces.
It’s almost like he’s been here just weeks ago — Kotone close to tears at Scott not being by her side. And now Ryoji must face the same scenario again, just with their roles swapped. His heart aches, not for himself but for them: how much suffering do they have to face until this place is satisfied, this time?
For now he has one job, however, and that is to make sure that Scott recovers. He is in no state to be looking or rescuing anyone right now, and Ryoji will make sure he stays put in that bed, no matter what.]
I know, something happened to turn her like this. [His voice is soft, understanding.] I’m sorry Scott, she’s still out there — keeping you alive was my priority.
[Surely Kotone herself would understand. Once she comes out of her senses, she would be devastated if she did anything to Scott.]
[Despite how badly hurt he feels, Scott attempts to sit up-- move closer to the edge of the bed because Kotone is still out there. Trapped in that mechanized form, probably still screaming. Hurting. He can hear her screaming even now, the speakers on Orpheus echoing out her voice and sounding so pained and confused. She just wanted to protect him. He knows that. It's just the transformation corrupted that feeling and. She just needs help.
The thought of her alone nearly overrides everything else he's feeling.
They can't leave her out there, surely Ryoji understands? He knows they have a special connection, something that long ago might've made him jealous, but Scott's well past beyond that. He's far more focused on the fact that someone is here that cares as much about as Kotone as him.
He shouldn't be watching over Scott.]
I'm alive, so let's go back. [His voice cracks, nearly pleading with Ryoji.] She can't... she can't continue like that.
[This is exactly the reaction he expects, and the exact reason why Ryoji stuck around. He knew the moment Scott would wake up that he would try to go back to her, to drag his ailing body across the street just to see her again. Just for another chance of subduing her again. Because that is exactly what Ryoji would do if he were in Scott’s position.
And it pains him, it really does, knowing the state they have left Orpheus in. But she can last longer without them, and Ryoji ultimately would have to choose.
In the end, he chooses what Kotone would have wanted.
So, with great anguish, he pushes Scott by the shoulders to keep him back to his bed. It’s nothing too forceful, something that could have been easily countered by sheer will, but it’s a promise of where Ryoji stands.]
I can’t let you. [He looks away from Scott in his own pain — he doesn’t like to see his dear friend like this, either.] You haven't recovered yet.
[Why isn't Ryoji letting him go?! He should know how important this is, maybe more than anyone else. Though his visor continues to cover his eyes, there's no hiding the way he stares up at his friend with both frustration and desperation.]
I-I'm fine Ryoji!
[He counters, voice rising in volume but also cracking in the process. If Scott was stronger, in a better state, he might've actually tried to push the other teen back, but he isn't. He's far from fully recovered and even moving this much has brought forth a new wave of pain that nearly makes him shake, but it matters so little to him. It... he doesn't want to be here. If he shuts his eyes, even thinks about Kotone, he can only picture her confused and lost and... dangerous. But. Someone needs to be there for her.]
S-she didn't mean to do this. She wouldn't hurt me. [One shaking hand grasps Ryoji's wrist, like he's trying to get him to see.] We can help her together-- we have to.
[His heart beats for Scott, it really does — especially when a part of him does want to let him go, because Kotone and Scott has been meant to be together in times like this. They should be stronger, not hurting like this.
But Scott can’t even push him off, not in this condition, and that renews a sense of urgency in Ryoji’s part, as well.]
I would be more comfortable in being able to face her together — but can you even stand like this? Do you have the strength to walk there yourself? I’m dangerous too, Scott, and I can’t make sure that I wouldn’t end up hurting you too as I fight her back.
[Ryoji is too nice to tell Scott that he would just be a burden under his current condition.]
[It hurts a lot. Ryoji's words. Not what he said, but what he hasn't said. The implication that he'd only impede Ryoji from helping Kotone and just making the situation worse. He wants to tell Ryoji that it doesn't matter, that he'd be fine still and that their connection matters more, but has his hand continues to tremble against his wrist, like he's showing how weak he actually is right now, those words remain lodged in his throat. Logically, he knows that Ryoji is right. And the reason why he's here in the first place is because of Kotone and the wish seed's influence on her, overriding everything.
But it still hurts so much. Remaining stuck here, letting Kotone continue to roam around without support. Maybe someone else has helped her by now? Which would be good, but.
His head lowers, unable to look at Ryoji, hand slipping from his wrist and displaying a sort level of defeat that is probably rare on the mutant. He just... wants to be there for her. She's the most important person to him.]
...You're saying that I would just get in the way. [He says, quietly.]
[He flinches. Because as much as Ryoji doesn’t want to admit it, it’s the truth — it’s exactly what the concern lies in his mind, the very thing keeping him from letting Scott get back in the fray. Of course, he doesn’t think of Scott as a burden or a hindrance, but the fact of the matter is that he’s not strong enough to look after someone else. He’s not good at protecting others in battle.]
The sooner you rest, the sooner you can go back to feeling normal. And maybe you could be able to do something by then?
[His voice falters so much, once again painted with the very things he doesn’t say. Doesn’t say that someone could have handled Kotone by then. Doesn’t say that there’s nothing else Scott could have done.]
I’m…I’m sorry. If there’s a way I could heal you I would, but your wounds are too grievous for me to let you go out there. I can’t let you die.
[And that’s the most important part, above everything. Above even Scott’s own feelings on the matter.]
[Even if Ryoji had said nothing else, his silence-- that minute flinch would be enough to answer Scott's question. His hands curl atop his sheets, head still tilted downward like he doesn't want to look at his friend at all. It feels ridiculous to rest now, just so that he can maybe help later. They feel like empty words and it's not fair to Ryoji, but he can't help but feel that way. For all they know, it would be too late for Kotone.
Then quietly, voice still carrying something pained in it:]
She shouldn't have to be out there in pain because of me.
[He doesn't want her to suffer a second longer either.]
So, you go back out there, Ryoji. Just leave me here. [He's not important right now. He's at the clinic with other people looking after him. He has more important things to do now than stick with Scott.] You're wasting your time with me.
[Guilty as charged. What else can he do but prolong the silence, prolong what is necessary for him to do? And yet Ryoji doesn’t want to make Scott feel helpless at all, even if…Well. Even if there is some truth to the matter.
In the end, hands overlap Scott's faltering ones, grasping them with a faint determination.]
I will go, but only because Kotone is in more danger than both of us. But Scott — you’re not a waste of time. Please remember that.
[Scott has done all that he could, must have done something to help out with Kotone already. This rest is well-earned, not a procession of defeat. If only Ryoji could convey such feelings to his friend.]
[He looks over at their clasped hands with worn eyes, which is mostly hidden behind the visor he's wearing. Scott knows Ryoji is only trying to support him, but he can't help but silently gaze at their hands for a second before finally drawing his eyes to look at the worried teen. Scott doesn't feel much better about anything, that gnawing hopelessness and anger at himself still keeping subdued. Maybe he should try harder to be better, but he's upset with pretty much everything.
So, he doesn't directly respond to Ryoji's comment.]
I'll be fine. [So reassuring.] I'll be here when you bring Kotone back.
[He wishes he could do more. Maybe be strong enough to bring Scott with him. But he isn’t, and that would just put more risk to his life. So Ryoji swallows this hurt, and carries it with him.
Kotone would know what to do, he thinks. Once she’s back to normal.
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expiationlogs2025-03-11 10:18 am
no atomization this time!
He rushed here as soon as he could, Scott tucked safely in Thanatos' arms. There are limits to the first aid that he knows, and the clinic was his best chance at surviving. It's a good thing that Scott woke up pretty soon - a sign of his health quickly returning - but Ryoji still decided it would be prudent to keep guard for now. No gallivanting into danger again until you've fully recovered!
At least he does have snacks. He offers both Phoenix and Scott some potato chips.]
This is the only thing I have, but I hope that's enough.
no subject
He's definitely hurting enough to know that getting beaten up by his girlfriend certainly happened. It brings forth a new wave of pain, while his heart still aches for Kotone. He wants to check on her-- he wants to see her, but his body really isn't cooperating. It hurts to breathe sometimes.
Phoenix, for her part, seems to have fully welcomed Ryoji now, the spoilt bird snacking on an offered chip before 'cooing' in front of Death. Okay, perhaps they can be friends now. He helped save her host from that screeching monster!]
...You brought me here, didn't you?
[Scott doesn't comment about the snacks yet and he's still turned away, but at least he's responding.]
no subject
Ryoji might cursed his existence as a non-human before, but not this time. Not when it gives him the strength and means to intervene and save a life. And now Life itself seems to thank him for his deed, happily snacking on the chip in his hands. It’s something he would like to celebrate about, once all this mess is over.]
…Yes, I did. You were in a pretty bad shape when I got there.
[For now, his voice remains kind and considerate — Scott will face him when he’s ready.]
That was Kotone-chan, wasn’t it? I could recognize that Persona anywhere.
no subject
Scott notices and despite the almost comical way Phoenix is behaving, he still keeps himself staring at the wall. The window. Just anything that wouldn't remind him of what happened, even though it's impossible to avoid those images. The pain that still dully throbs throughout his body from where the harp bashed into him.
At least he can breathe without coughing up blood.
Of course, Ryoji is asking about what happened, so there's really no avoiding it. If he really wanted, Scott knows that he can probably ignore his friend until he leaves, but he owes him this much, even if he already knows the answer.]
...Yes, that was Kotone. [There's a hitch in his voice, like Scott is trying to stop himself from crying again or anything else. He's alive, he's still here. It's fine-- it's not her fault. It really isn't. He doesn't blame her. He loves her so much still and shouldn't he be looking for her now?? Why is he lying on this bed??]
I-It wasn't her fault, Ryoji. She's in pain. [He finally turns in his bed, his visor staring straight at Ryoji.] Where is she??
no subject
It’s painful to see him like this. Knowing why that stare exist, knowing as much as Ryoji does, knowing that there’s no easy solution to all of this. Kotone isn’t here with them, chiming in with her usual laughter, and that is everything that is wrong with this image.
Now Scott lies broken at all of it, and Ryoji must pick at the pieces.
It’s almost like he’s been here just weeks ago — Kotone close to tears at Scott not being by her side. And now Ryoji must face the same scenario again, just with their roles swapped. His heart aches, not for himself but for them: how much suffering do they have to face until this place is satisfied, this time?
For now he has one job, however, and that is to make sure that Scott recovers. He is in no state to be looking or rescuing anyone right now, and Ryoji will make sure he stays put in that bed, no matter what.]
I know, something happened to turn her like this. [His voice is soft, understanding.] I’m sorry Scott, she’s still out there — keeping you alive was my priority.
[Surely Kotone herself would understand. Once she comes out of her senses, she would be devastated if she did anything to Scott.]
no subject
[Despite how badly hurt he feels, Scott attempts to sit up-- move closer to the edge of the bed because Kotone is still out there. Trapped in that mechanized form, probably still screaming. Hurting. He can hear her screaming even now, the speakers on Orpheus echoing out her voice and sounding so pained and confused. She just wanted to protect him. He knows that. It's just the transformation corrupted that feeling and. She just needs help.
The thought of her alone nearly overrides everything else he's feeling.
They can't leave her out there, surely Ryoji understands? He knows they have a special connection, something that long ago might've made him jealous, but Scott's well past beyond that. He's far more focused on the fact that someone is here that cares as much about as Kotone as him.
He shouldn't be watching over Scott.]
I'm alive, so let's go back. [His voice cracks, nearly pleading with Ryoji.] She can't... she can't continue like that.
no subject
And it pains him, it really does, knowing the state they have left Orpheus in. But she can last longer without them, and Ryoji ultimately would have to choose.
In the end, he chooses what Kotone would have wanted.
So, with great anguish, he pushes Scott by the shoulders to keep him back to his bed. It’s nothing too forceful, something that could have been easily countered by sheer will, but it’s a promise of where Ryoji stands.]
I can’t let you. [He looks away from Scott in his own pain — he doesn’t like to see his dear friend like this, either.] You haven't recovered yet.
no subject
I-I'm fine Ryoji!
[He counters, voice rising in volume but also cracking in the process. If Scott was stronger, in a better state, he might've actually tried to push the other teen back, but he isn't. He's far from fully recovered and even moving this much has brought forth a new wave of pain that nearly makes him shake, but it matters so little to him. It... he doesn't want to be here. If he shuts his eyes, even thinks about Kotone, he can only picture her confused and lost and... dangerous. But. Someone needs to be there for her.]
S-she didn't mean to do this. She wouldn't hurt me. [One shaking hand grasps Ryoji's wrist, like he's trying to get him to see.] We can help her together-- we have to.
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But Scott can’t even push him off, not in this condition, and that renews a sense of urgency in Ryoji’s part, as well.]
I would be more comfortable in being able to face her together — but can you even stand like this? Do you have the strength to walk there yourself? I’m dangerous too, Scott, and I can’t make sure that I wouldn’t end up hurting you too as I fight her back.
[Ryoji is too nice to tell Scott that he would just be a burden under his current condition.]
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But it still hurts so much. Remaining stuck here, letting Kotone continue to roam around without support. Maybe someone else has helped her by now? Which would be good, but.
His head lowers, unable to look at Ryoji, hand slipping from his wrist and displaying a sort level of defeat that is probably rare on the mutant. He just... wants to be there for her. She's the most important person to him.]
...You're saying that I would just get in the way. [He says, quietly.]
no subject
The sooner you rest, the sooner you can go back to feeling normal. And maybe you could be able to do something by then?
[His voice falters so much, once again painted with the very things he doesn’t say. Doesn’t say that someone could have handled Kotone by then. Doesn’t say that there’s nothing else Scott could have done.]
I’m…I’m sorry. If there’s a way I could heal you I would, but your wounds are too grievous for me to let you go out there. I can’t let you die.
[And that’s the most important part, above everything. Above even Scott’s own feelings on the matter.]
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Then quietly, voice still carrying something pained in it:]
She shouldn't have to be out there in pain because of me.
[He doesn't want her to suffer a second longer either.]
So, you go back out there, Ryoji. Just leave me here. [He's not important right now. He's at the clinic with other people looking after him. He has more important things to do now than stick with Scott.] You're wasting your time with me.
no subject
In the end, hands overlap Scott's faltering ones, grasping them with a faint determination.]
I will go, but only because Kotone is in more danger than both of us. But Scott — you’re not a waste of time. Please remember that.
[Scott has done all that he could, must have done something to help out with Kotone already. This rest is well-earned, not a procession of defeat. If only Ryoji could convey such feelings to his friend.]
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So, he doesn't directly respond to Ryoji's comment.]
I'll be fine. [So reassuring.] I'll be here when you bring Kotone back.
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Kotone would know what to do, he thinks. Once she’s back to normal.
Ryoji stands up as he prepares to leave.]
I’ll get her back, I promise.