expiationlogs | (dated nov 1st) hey guys hey................

Who: peter "baby spider" parker
Where: stem club, spider house, and i'll add as i think...
What: peter's back, peter's saying sorry, peter's giving back to the community, he's sorry........... i'll use this as my catch-all for the month of november, so i'll slowly be adding things to it! if anyone would like a closed thread, i'm all for it.
Warnings: none so far!

(a few hours after he gets his shit together, the following message pings:)

Hey guys... I'm sorry for, uh, like disappearing and all that 🥲🥲
Wasn't my intention at all
I can't explain what happened either 😣
I went back home, not dead ⚰️ That one I can explain, but very long and kinda confusing explanation, maybe another time
And uh I'm really sorry for worrying my friends

But I'm definitely here
Alive
A...mazingly so
Available 🫠
At anywhere if you want to see me
At mostly my place though and the STEM club room

Uh I might have missed a lot
So update me okay
And OH if you have anything broken that you want fixed 🛠️🔧🪛🔩
Or you know something you want to improve
Bring it to me free of charge

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ ....

At first there's no answer. It's like she might not even reply at all.

But then an answer arrives. ]

Fine. Tell me where I should meet you.

... Do you actually want the burgers, because we can do that, but I guess we can meet at the club building too. I'm at STEM right now...

No, Peter. I don't particularly care for burgers.

[ There is actually a pretty good reason for that, but-- apparently Ange isn't bringing that up. It's not important right now.

Instead she quickly sends the next message: ]

I'll come there in a bit. Don't even think of going anywhere else. [ I-Is that a threat?! ]

(IT IS AND HE IS SCARED. IT WORKS. HE IS NOT EVEN BREATHING M'AAM.)

... Okay. I'm not moving.

[ Are you really not moving, Peter? Not even breathing?

.. okay, maybe at least breathe, because it's not like Ange can just be there instantly. But when she does show up, it's clear that she headed there right away after sending her last text message, because it can't have been later than the time it would have taken her to walk over to the building.

And yet, as she enters, she doesn't approach him right away. The girl just stands there in the entranceway, staring in Peter's direction. Not saying anything. Not moving. Even her facial expression is kind of difficult to discern, until she says: ]

.. You really are back.

(okay, he did move, but just a little bit, in his chair, because he did attempt the not moving thing, but he gets restless very, very easy. instead, he's just fixing his web-shooter. welding, carefully, step-by-step, and thankfully she arrived when he was not actively using the tool, or it might have welded a little too much.

he feels terrible. he doesn't know where to start.)

... Hey, Ange. Can I move, now?

[ The pause before Ange answers isn't too long, but it is definitely a moment or two longer than most people might take to answer. ]

Sure.

[ Maybe it's because she's still thinking. It feels overwhelming, seeing him there. Like he never left. Like the previous while never happened, or her conversation with Gwen never happened, or--

It sucks. It sucks, the way this place toys with her feelings. The way she's working so hard to keep up her poker face in this moment, because she doesn't know what else to do.

Ange's hand curls up into a fist at her side, if not just to keep said hand from shaking. ]

What did you want to talk about?

It's just-- I can tell you're mad, I don't know if it's at me, or at everything but-- please, don't be mad.

(not something she can control, he knows, he knows-- but, it hurts to have something else going poorly in his life. his friendship with ange has been special, they get along, and he never intended to harm her. he doesn't even know why he was taken for so long, and it's not his fault - and he feels like it is, because of how she looks with that closed fist.

he moves, thanks to her permission, to come closer. he looks older, not by much, but just enough to be noticeable, but most visible of all is how tired he is.)

Hey, so, our whole thing is me not telling you what to do and you only doing things you want, so, I really want to give you a hug, if you want one, too.

[ Please, Peter, do you think it's that easy to just suddenly not be mad?

Because she can't not be mad in the face of this. She feels so hurt still, so upset. It's a feeling that doesn't even fade with the fact that he's here again, that they're face to face once more, considering that can't cancel out the time of hurt she experienced upon realizing he was gone, that he was quite possibly dead forever.

Maybe it's exactly because of that anger and upset that when she speaks up, it's not even directly to answer what he's asking her here. Sorry, Peter - maybe in a moment, but the hurt truly is too strong to just calmly tell him whether she wants a hug or not. ]

How-- How am I not supposed to be mad?! [ The volume of her voice rises, the emotion breaking through the fragile facade she built up.

But weirdly enough.. She doesn't sound mad. Sure, she sounds upset, but it's leaning much more in the direction of sad and hurt rather than plain mad.

Especially as tears seem to appear in Ange's eyes, slowly escaping to roll down her cheeks. ]

I've done nothing but watch people disappear and die my entire life! This place isn't even any different from the world I come from, because it just-- It keeps on doing this! [ At least that statement might make it a little bit more clear what the target of Ange's feelings is right now.

It's not him. She's not mad at him.

She's mad at the way this place keeps hurting her in the exact same way she has already been hurt her entire life. ]

I thought you were dead, and I'm just supposed to be okay?!

(this is one of the most strange things he has ever seen in aldrip - like witnessing something that doesn't fit quite well. ange is always so firm, so strong, that while he knows she's hurt, seeing it makes it so much worse that he freezes for a second with the volume of her voice. there's no way he could blame her even if he tried, he knows what happened to her, and loss is never easy. he knows that better than anyone, now, having lost so much himself - he can't tell her not to be mad, but he just wished...

she didn't have to be.

with slow steps, he approaches, setting warm hands on her shoulders - he's not going to hug her without permission, ange has always valued her privacy and independence, but he wants to be there in case she needs it.)

... No. I just-- I just don't know what to do. I'm sorry, Ange, I didn't mean to leave, and I know-- I thought I was dead, too. I'm just sorry.

[ She probably shouldn't blow up like this in front of him when it's got to be rough for him too - just like Peter points out, he also thought he was dead - but she can't help it. It's so hard to stop these things once they start.

This is why she hates it so much. Having feelings. It just brings trouble, exactly the way it's doing right now.

Ange tries to suck in a deep breath - it isn't really successful - but doesn't shrug his hands off her. ]

You're-- You're not the one who's supposed to apologize. It's this place! This place needs to apologize to me! [ It's a childish thing to say and she knows it. This place has never apologized to any of them before, and it won't do so either in the future.

But what else can she say? In the end, Ange is only a teenager, dealing with a life that has been so constantly overwhelmingly bad. It's why the tears don't stop either now they're falling. ]

I can't do this anymore..! I can't live like this!

(dated nov 1st) hey guys hey................

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