望月 綾時 ☾ mochizuki ryoji. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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expiationlogs2024-09-21 05:41 pm
luneminary) wrote in expiationlogs2024-09-21 05:41 pm
( open/catch-all ) what comes after the rain?
Who: Ryoji...and you!
Where: Various locations in Aldrip.
What: September catch-all, aka Ryoji's No Good Very bad Month(s)
Warnings: Discussions of Bad Things That Happened in the gnosia event, such as violence and death-related warnings.
i. ...everything begins in silence
[Were one to find Ryoji, they would be perplexed to see him like this: sullen and melancholic, shoulders drooping by his lonesome. Even strangers would find it out of place, when joyful smiles seem to be his natural expression. His mood does not match the brightness of his scarf, a yellow fabric fraying at the edges. It’s in a better condition than he thought it would be, considering his prior death, but it is clear that it too has been through a lot.
Were one to find Ryoji — well, that means he’s doing a poor job of isolating himself, actually. It’s why he hasn’t been around his usual haunts, like the club building or the inn or any of the usual public spaces. As much as he loves humans and company, he prefers to dwell by his lonesome. He doesn’t want anyone see him like this, let alone burden anybody else by his troubles.
A shame that he couldn’t just disappear: not even death would give him that comfort. He doesn’t feel like staying by his residence either, not when too many of his friends know where he lives. It is only inevitable that one would stumble upon him in the lesser travelled spaces: small spaces, quiet corners, or even by the edge of the city.]
ii. face the sun, with —
[But one cannot sulk forever, no matter how much Ryoji wants for time to stop. And he knows, deep down, that he is merely delaying the inevitable.
Mustering his courage is the easy part — figuring out how to atone for his crimes is another. After all, what he has done is considered to be unforgivable, regardless of whether they were all revived from death or not. Still, he does want to do something, such that he can move forward.
He has learned that in Japan, one expresses the depths of their guilt by how deeply one bows to the bereaved. The lowest one can do is to have your forehead touch the floor — but at that point, wouldn’t he just embarrass the other? He’s here to apologize, not to make himself feel better with grand dramatic gestures.
He opts for a bow that reaches ninety degrees instead.]
I’m really, really sorry! I don’t know how to make it up to you, but I’ll find a way!
iii. tender is the night.
[In here, the moon is always full.
It is a fact that Ryoji was delighted to hear. Of all the faces that the celestial object could wear, it is what he considers to be the most beautiful. A soft glow that illuminates the night, revealing all the beauty that lies underneath. That is why Ryoji has come to love going on walks out at night, if only he could admire it a little bit longer.
And yet, this peace has also given him some discomfort: isn’t this serenity similar to what he has felt when the gnosia has stuffed his head with all these ideas? The moon, which was once his closest confidant, suddenly feels more sinister. Perhaps that is why he doesn’t bask in its light anymore.
And yet, the moon is still beautiful. Ryoji could not help but to continue gazing at it, his conflicting emotions hardly a blemish on its enigmatic surface.]
iv. wildcard!
[Feel free to approach Ryoji in any other way!]
Where: Various locations in Aldrip.
What: September catch-all, aka Ryoji's No Good Very bad Month(s)
Warnings: Discussions of Bad Things That Happened in the gnosia event, such as violence and death-related warnings.
i. ...everything begins in silence
[Were one to find Ryoji, they would be perplexed to see him like this: sullen and melancholic, shoulders drooping by his lonesome. Even strangers would find it out of place, when joyful smiles seem to be his natural expression. His mood does not match the brightness of his scarf, a yellow fabric fraying at the edges. It’s in a better condition than he thought it would be, considering his prior death, but it is clear that it too has been through a lot.
Were one to find Ryoji — well, that means he’s doing a poor job of isolating himself, actually. It’s why he hasn’t been around his usual haunts, like the club building or the inn or any of the usual public spaces. As much as he loves humans and company, he prefers to dwell by his lonesome. He doesn’t want anyone see him like this, let alone burden anybody else by his troubles.
A shame that he couldn’t just disappear: not even death would give him that comfort. He doesn’t feel like staying by his residence either, not when too many of his friends know where he lives. It is only inevitable that one would stumble upon him in the lesser travelled spaces: small spaces, quiet corners, or even by the edge of the city.]
ii. face the sun, with —
[But one cannot sulk forever, no matter how much Ryoji wants for time to stop. And he knows, deep down, that he is merely delaying the inevitable.
Mustering his courage is the easy part — figuring out how to atone for his crimes is another. After all, what he has done is considered to be unforgivable, regardless of whether they were all revived from death or not. Still, he does want to do something, such that he can move forward.
He has learned that in Japan, one expresses the depths of their guilt by how deeply one bows to the bereaved. The lowest one can do is to have your forehead touch the floor — but at that point, wouldn’t he just embarrass the other? He’s here to apologize, not to make himself feel better with grand dramatic gestures.
He opts for a bow that reaches ninety degrees instead.]
I’m really, really sorry! I don’t know how to make it up to you, but I’ll find a way!
iii. tender is the night.
[In here, the moon is always full.
It is a fact that Ryoji was delighted to hear. Of all the faces that the celestial object could wear, it is what he considers to be the most beautiful. A soft glow that illuminates the night, revealing all the beauty that lies underneath. That is why Ryoji has come to love going on walks out at night, if only he could admire it a little bit longer.
And yet, this peace has also given him some discomfort: isn’t this serenity similar to what he has felt when the gnosia has stuffed his head with all these ideas? The moon, which was once his closest confidant, suddenly feels more sinister. Perhaps that is why he doesn’t bask in its light anymore.
And yet, the moon is still beautiful. Ryoji could not help but to continue gazing at it, his conflicting emotions hardly a blemish on its enigmatic surface.]
iv. wildcard!
[Feel free to approach Ryoji in any other way!]
no subject
[Or hyuran.]
Not I, at least. I am not one now, nor was I in the halcyon days of my mortality.
What I am is...
[Honestly, he thinks to himself, who in the Seven Hells even knows anymore?]
...A dusty old wizard. One whose rotten heart is long past saving...
[After saying this a mischievous spark lights up in his eyes.]
But do try to save me. I admit, I am deathly curious how you would attempt such a feat.
no subject
[The realization comes to him as a soft surprise, the moment those words leave his lips.
Perhaps a god of death is capable of kindness, too.]
I am a that shouldn't have existed, and yet here I am. I don't think you're long past saving at all, Fandaniel-san.
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...You shouldn't have existed?
You are Death, yes? The only true thing in the universe.
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[He smiles as he spreads his palm over his heart.]
No matter what, I don't regret being able to talk and share my feelings with humans like this.
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About that!
How did that happen?
[With his free hand he gestures broadly at Ryoji.]
How did you take this form?
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[He didn't ask Kotone for the details, naturally. He didn't want to dwell in on the subject as much as possible.]
I'm not sure. It just happened - it wasn't even something that was meant to happen.
[Almost like a glitch in the code, really.]
no subject
[The Ascian's eyes sparkle.]
'Tis remarkable, if your tale is true.
I wonder if you were summoned, perhaps...?
fandaniel has no idea how right he is
Perhaps I was? That would explain my lack of memories before I transferred in school.
But that means someone summoned me.
ff14 logic applies to another canon kinda yet again!
[Moreso since the Ascians purposefully muddied how it worked.]
It may not have been one someone who brought you into being, but many. You may have even summoned yourself if your desire to walk among mankind was strong enough.
...Where I am from all it takes is enough aether, and enough want and belief to form the summoned entity.
I know not if aether exists on your star, but there may be something comparable.
[As he says this, he sounds wistful.
Thousands of years ago he'd looked to the stars, yearning to know who lived among them and what gave them purpose. No matter how many times he checked on the Hyperstellar Downconverter, the stars remained silent. His pleas and questions were unanswered.
Now, here, he is meeting people from worlds he can barely imagine. It's been fascinating. If he had any shred of hope left in his ancient heart he'd hope to find someone who could answer his question. Unfortunately, he doesn't.]
Was there anyone back home who seemed the sort to wish, very intensely, for your presence?
as a smn main this is tickling me ngl.
...He doesn't like the idea that someone would wish for Death so fervently he would take on a physical form into this world, either. What kind of awful circumstances would cause one to desire such a thing?
Then again -]
Don't you wish for your own death, Fandaniel-san? I wouldn't be surprised if someone like you also existed in my world. But I don't know who would want 'Ryoji Mochizuki.' Nobody knew me when I first showed up.
[Kotone comes into mind - someone who is familiar and yet unfamiliar to him. Did she summon him? He doesn't want to suspect her, not when she has always been his closest confidant, but it is the only conclusion that he could think of.]
...There might be someone, but she never knew me before. I'm not so sure.
[Sure enough, as testament that he isn't a normal teenager, Ryoji isn't having any problems wrapping his head around all of these esoteric concepts. He's always been a sponge when it comes to new things, after all.]
I don't know how magic works in my world. I...think it exists? What I can do is clearly that. But I don't know if anyone there can actually use magic -
[Wait. There is someone! Ryoji's eyes widen in realization.]
Koromaru-san! Minato's dog can use magic!
no subject
[Fandaniel cackles and slaps his knee.]
Well, there you have it!
A dog summoned you.
[It's tempting to leave it at that, deliciously absurdity, but curiosity drives him to move the conversation forward.]
It could have been anyone. This someone who did not know you, or a theoretical soul like myself.
In truth, the summoner does not always know that they are summoning. If a village is under assault, for example, its people may pray and yearn for a valiant protector and, lo, aether forms into a heroic deity, shaped by their earnest longing. All without them knowing.
This mysterious friend of yours may have felt anxious about death and in her desire to know it better, brought you--this you--into being.
[After saying this he watches Ryoji closely. The boy's calm reactions do seem to further prove his claim of being an avatar. Typical mortals are not hard to drive into a state of existential crisis. Fandaniel's already caused a few such crises in people just by talking to them about much more mundane topics.]
no subject
If I have been summoned by such a purpose, [whether it’s by Kotone or somebody else,] then I wouldn’t mind that at all. If there is an individual who summoned me, then I would like to be their friend. If knowing me would alleviate their fears, then I would like to be by their side.
[Kind and gentle, this version of Death is. His smile is bright as he adds,]
So you’re saying it’s still possible a dog summoned me, if this dog wanted death as a companion!
no subject
[He gives Ryoji a wide-eyed blink.]
Yes, if the dog wanted it earnestly enough and was near enough energy to bring you into being!
But I rather doubt it.
no subject
Well, I wouldn't mind having been summoned by a dog. It would have been cute.
[Let Ryoji pout at this, it has been A Day.]
no subject
A dog with a death wish is cute but I'm not?
You do say the strangest things sometimes.
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