expiationlogs | (closed) how the most dangerous thing is to love

(he pushed yu, that already tells him that this is not normal. yosuke is not violent in his essence, and there's no thought in his mind that comes with harm towards the man they both love.

so, pretty much confirmed every theory they cooked back in the dojo, and by the tone yu employs with yosuke, he knows that he too would figure the same.)

Why don't you come over here and ask me to my face, love?

[why? why is Mikey trying to bait him?

he's trying to fight it. he doesn't want to hurt anyone. but that feeling of hatred towards Mikey is completely unreasonable right now...

he flinches as he fights internally, and he forces himself to face Yu.]

I'm... a little under the weather. But that's all.

[a little under the weather. killing people isn't just under the weather, but y'know.]

I was just going to sleep it off.

[or something.

he's trying... so hard to not acknowledge Mikey.]

[Yu's eyes turn from Mikey to Yosuke and back, assessing the situation, thinking through the plan, contingencies. Mikey is very clearly trying to antagonize Yosuke, and in a way, Yu is grateful to him for that; it'd be hard to get any of this uncovered if he wasn't here. But something is clearly wrong, and it's both a relief and a painful realization at the same time.]

"Under the weather." You sure that's all it is? [From his tone, Yu doesn't sound like he believes any of it. He shifts a bit, moving back away from the door. If Mikey's trying to get Yosuke outside, then he doesn't want to be in the way.

Plus -- if he can make it impossible not to acknowledge Mikey, then maybe they'll be able to push him into a corner.]

(from that initial reaction, there's no space in his mind for taking his words as true - that wasn't normal, he's afraid. as per usual, mikey has no quarrels in playing the villain, being the villain. not unlike yu, he too is grateful that he is here. if someone is to break yosuke's heart, may it be mikey, considering it seems to be more of the same.

which is the reason why he walks decidedly, taking yu's hand into his own, pulling just a little bit as if he was asking him to come along.

then it comes from mikey, not from yu, after all. he's already preparing a kick in his mind when he speaks,)

Then let's go home, we can leave him be 'under the weather'.

[there's uncharacteristic anger as Yosuke makes the attempt to grab Mikey and shove him away from Yu.]

Don't touch him!!

[the monster in his mind is screaming for him to kill him, and the normal, more rational side of himself is getting pushed further and further back.]

I will kill you!

[there, he'd said it. the monster, which had stuck into his mind at seeing the person he was currently so angry at, had completely tossed away his rationale at this point.]

(there it is.

at least it confirms the theory - not one he wished to be true anyway. if anything, it'd be easier to apologize, say they were concerned, and yu had no part in how manjiro went about it, it was just to antagonize him and confirm it.

but, no. they were correct. he's quick to let go of the hand he holds, only to take the hand that pushes him to twist and throw over his shoulder - create a little separation, a little distance.)

If you can, have at it.

[Yosuke feels himself being lifted off his feet one moment, and then he's flat on his back the next. he's stunned for a moment, coughing some breath back into himself, and he pushes himself up to his feet.]

Susano-o... will rip you apart...

[the voice doesn't even quite sound like his at this point, something more gravelly and more wrong. he does summon his Persona now, and it appears in a gust of wind behind him.

the smile he smiles at Mikey is something manic.]

Get him, Susano-o!!

[the Persona doesn't really think twice, moving down towards Mikey in what would be Brave Blade, attempting to get this over with within moments--]

[Malice in his voice and a wicked manic tilt to his expression -- the last bit of confirmation that Yu needs before his heart drops into his stomach. So Yosuke really is infected...and in this moment, Yu believes fully that that infection has him set on murdering Mikey. It's a devastating blow, mentally, but one he was prepared for, even if it's still hard to stomach. He's watching the situation, watching Susano-o appear, watching Yosuke give the order...

Something sparks in the back of his mind, some indescribable sense of urgency; of purpose. He knows, in this moment, how deadly Brave Blade can be in the hands of the gnosia-- and he knows how to stop it.]

Not a chance! [The words feel ripped from his throat, spurred on by something bigger than him, something compelled to act as a guardian. He dives in front of Mikey and calls Rangda --of course it's Rangda, the Magician, how ironic-- forth. The barrier she erects in front of him shines like a shield as the attack hits...and bounces off, repelled back at Yosuke.

Yosuke is meant to fight him anyway, while Mikey figures out how to cure this. In some way, maybe Yu is hoping that he'll be able to bait Yosuke by knowing he was willing to protect the other teen.]

(he's played this persona thing before. he knows, at least on the surface, what it can do - defend his punches and kicks, generate lightning, blades, heal, the whole thing. his first instinct is to rip a tree from the ground, hit the persona with it, even if he's unsure it'd do anything.

the hint of anger in his eyes is definitely not towards yosuke. it's towards yu - a look that says 'i told you not to', his eyes squinting in his disbelief. they'll fight, again, it seems.

it's within his own desire to kick both their asses that the answer does come - maybe that is how he heals. it's the only thing that would heal him, a good punch on the face for redemption, and truly? it's the only thing he can think of.

distract him, is what manjiro says with a nod of his head before he rushes towards yosuke, leaping so his kick can hit just right on the temple to have him fall.)

[maybe you just wanna kick their asses, Mikey--

but Yosuke goes flying backwards as the attack gets deflected. he'd almost caught himself too, if it weren't for Mikey's foot flying towards his face. in the act of trying to dodge that too, he falls back onto the ground with a startled yelp. Susano-o roars at the failed attempt at killing, and makes a gust of wind explode in the small circle between the three of them, trying to knock Mikey and Yu back from Yosuke. at least long enough for him to get back up...

and he was getting back up, now.]

[If Yu feels eyes and anger on him, it doesn't show, for the moment. In truth, he does -- of course he does. Mikey had warned him about that up front.

But he had issued a warning, too. And there's no way he's not going to go on instinct, here.

There's something so horribly wrong about this, and yet, isn't it familiar too? Back when they fought Namatame, his Persona had turned Yu's friends against him in such a similar way, like pulling the strings of a puppet. Now...well, Yosuke isn't being pulled around in the same way, he has his own will, but somehow that just makes it feel worse. He takes a moment to search his index and draws Atropos to the front of his mind. She blocks the attack from hurting him, but it knocks him back enough to let Yosuke get up. Then -- Trumpeter. This one he actually summons, casting Debilitate on his partner. He's still working his way up to actually attacking, to be honest, but hopefully the debuff will be enough to hold Yosuke's attention. Besides, lowering his ability to evade attacks seems like it'd work in their favor.]

(he reiterates in his mind that this persona business is purely bullshit, because he's getting knocked away by a gust of wind susano-o had summoned against them. the impact will bruise, and he has some deeper scratches that he pays very little mind to once he's back on his feet.

yu might have issues attacking yosuke, but mikey... can't. he's not like that, that good. without any certainty of what yu has done, because once more, persona business, he can only do what he usually does - he'll run, thankfully he's behind for the moment, so the leap and kick he projects should go on the back of the head. all calculated, so that it dizzies and unbalances, rather than truly damage.)

[there's a small, sane part of Yosuke that notices Yu is only using his status attacks on him. that it's kind of crushing him that he won't actually really defend himself. but he has to, he needs to, especially since Yu is so much stronger than him already.

the monster in his mind, though, screams as Yosuke's body and Persona get weakened. this is what comes out of Yosuke's lips, readying another attack--

and then he gets a kick to the head.

Yosuke stumbles forward with another cry, and Susano-o sweeps its weapon back towards Mikey, trying to flick him away like a fly.

oh. that's what it wanted to fight in the first place, wasn't it? that boy...]

You... die already!!

[even though he's definitely trying to regain himself, and can't really properly order his Persona to do anything right now...]

[Yu watches closely throughout all of this -- the hit, the reaction, and while he's suppressing an urge to curse under his breath that it hasn't worked yet, he has more pressing matters to deal with.

Pressing meaning that Yosuke is meant to be fighting him.]

Yosuke, don't!

[The card is in his hand almost before he finishes speaking; Trumpeter appears once again and casts Ziodyne down right at Yosuke's feet. Not quite close enough to hurt, but certainly to get his attention...at least he hopes.]

(he does go flying. he's sure he's broken a rib or two once he falls with his back to a tree. fuck, this hurts. it's been so damn long, and he feels the blood rushing his mouth with how he bit it to keep the pain in.

he spits it on the floor, and if yosuke does switch his attention, mikey is going to finish this the best way he knows how. he's been pulling his kicks, but he will do less, calculated strength to kick his temple and another to bring him to the floor.)

[the lightning brings Yosuke back to Yu, and he jumps back. there's a growl that comes out of his mouth now, and he's about to make another move--

-- but then this time, Mikey's kick connects with Yosuke's head. he ends up falling on the ground now, his vision swimming with stars as Susano-o screams and disappears.

okay yeah, that shit hurted.]

[Unhurt but wound tight with stress and concern, Yu's gaze flickers between both boys, trying to get an accurate read on what's happening. Whether Mikey's been able to figure out this "cure", whether Yosuke's back to normal, whether either of them is hurt...

He holds the card in hand for Kikuri-hime, to heal wounds or provide some firepower if needed, but he doesn't summon her yet.]

Yuchin, I figured it out.

(his voice is deep, hoarse from exercise, teeth pinkish from the blood that gathered in his mouth. the problem is what he realized in the fight, it's not going to be great.

with yosuke on the ground, it seems like they won the round, and he sighs, almost like he was hesitating - but he would never, would he? he could never.)

You'll need to heal him, but you shouldn't have to watch.

(meaning: he's gonna have to punch it out of him.)

I won't have you hating me again, so you should take a walk for a minute.

[even before Yosuke's vision starts swimming, he tries to slide himself up into a sitting position. he blinks, looking a bit lost... maybe coming back to himself a little, but the monster inside of him isn't gone.]

Do whatever... you guys need to...

[it's definitely Yosuke who's in control, even if he's swaying.]

I don't want to hurt anybody else...

[You shouldn't have to watch. And if not for the look on Yosuke's face, the tone of his voice, Yu might have turned around. But this-- he-- he can't do it. Turning to Mikey, he shakes his head.]

I'm not going anywhere. [He's not the type to run away. He's not the type to look away. And when it comes to Yosuke, especially when Yosuke is very visibly himself, or struggling to be that way...his feet are planted, unmoving.

But he recognizes what the other teen is concerned about, and his expression softens a bit.] ... I could never hate you, Mikey. Do it.

(moments like this, he misses the monster he used to be, as wrong as it is to think such an atrocity, with all the things he had done. the thing is, the curse was efficient like that - it'd make it so easy to just use his fists without any remorse, any hesitation, because he would not feel any. he wouldn't be there to have his feelings weighing him down.

his eyes dart to both boys, his eyebrows knitting, and if anyone is really looking, his eyes might be a little more shiny than usual, with the slightest tear pooling before he breathes in, like it never happened.

he hates this so much.)

... You two sure? You'll have to heal him, Yuchin.

[he'd attacked Yu. and not even in the way that they had when they usually fought and sparred and punched each other senseless. he had actually gone after Yu. his mind had screamed for his blood.

and it's starting to scream for him again. it's taking that love and starting to shove it back into the back of his mind, and he looks over at Mikey.

is he... emotional too?]

Do... whatever you need to.

[a flicker of confusion crosses his face as he fights to remain in control.]

Please.

[Is he sure? It's a good question -- and a fair one, considering what they've been through, recently. But Yu takes a moment to respond purposefully, for exactly that reason. He straightens up, making sure to catch Mikey's eye as he nods. Do it. He said so already, but now, his expression is steeped in the same certainty as when h spoke those two words.]

I'm ready.

[Mikey doesn't "get" the Persona thing -- that much is certain. But he's seen Yu summon them before, has seen the cards he uses, so when he holds one up, very much present, albeit currently unbroken...he assumes Mikey will at least understand the subtext he's trying to communicate. He's ready.]

(he can't, he can't, he can't

he CAN'T

not without the darkness, not with how shitty this feels, not with the fear of being abandoned over his violence all over again. he despises the fact he misses it, hopes for it to return, just once, just now, so the anxiety could stop trying to move his feet in the opposite direction.

he has to.

his eyes close shut, tight so he doesn't have to see, although the sound of his foot stomping on the chest man who's down, a man he cares about, might haunt him for a while. he might as well be exactly what he looks like - completely defeated, as his fists punch the disease out of yosuke. once he's done, once he can feel it in his knuckles, he stops.

stained hands hide in his pockets, back turned to the scene and a head gesture. heal him.)

(closed) how the most dangerous thing is to love

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