expiationlogs | (closed) how the most dangerous thing is to love

(he reiterates in his mind that this persona business is purely bullshit, because he's getting knocked away by a gust of wind susano-o had summoned against them. the impact will bruise, and he has some deeper scratches that he pays very little mind to once he's back on his feet.

yu might have issues attacking yosuke, but mikey... can't. he's not like that, that good. without any certainty of what yu has done, because once more, persona business, he can only do what he usually does - he'll run, thankfully he's behind for the moment, so the leap and kick he projects should go on the back of the head. all calculated, so that it dizzies and unbalances, rather than truly damage.)

[there's a small, sane part of Yosuke that notices Yu is only using his status attacks on him. that it's kind of crushing him that he won't actually really defend himself. but he has to, he needs to, especially since Yu is so much stronger than him already.

the monster in his mind, though, screams as Yosuke's body and Persona get weakened. this is what comes out of Yosuke's lips, readying another attack--

and then he gets a kick to the head.

Yosuke stumbles forward with another cry, and Susano-o sweeps its weapon back towards Mikey, trying to flick him away like a fly.

oh. that's what it wanted to fight in the first place, wasn't it? that boy...]

You... die already!!

[even though he's definitely trying to regain himself, and can't really properly order his Persona to do anything right now...]

[Yu watches closely throughout all of this -- the hit, the reaction, and while he's suppressing an urge to curse under his breath that it hasn't worked yet, he has more pressing matters to deal with.

Pressing meaning that Yosuke is meant to be fighting him.]

Yosuke, don't!

[The card is in his hand almost before he finishes speaking; Trumpeter appears once again and casts Ziodyne down right at Yosuke's feet. Not quite close enough to hurt, but certainly to get his attention...at least he hopes.]

(he does go flying. he's sure he's broken a rib or two once he falls with his back to a tree. fuck, this hurts. it's been so damn long, and he feels the blood rushing his mouth with how he bit it to keep the pain in.

he spits it on the floor, and if yosuke does switch his attention, mikey is going to finish this the best way he knows how. he's been pulling his kicks, but he will do less, calculated strength to kick his temple and another to bring him to the floor.)

[the lightning brings Yosuke back to Yu, and he jumps back. there's a growl that comes out of his mouth now, and he's about to make another move--

-- but then this time, Mikey's kick connects with Yosuke's head. he ends up falling on the ground now, his vision swimming with stars as Susano-o screams and disappears.

okay yeah, that shit hurted.]

[Unhurt but wound tight with stress and concern, Yu's gaze flickers between both boys, trying to get an accurate read on what's happening. Whether Mikey's been able to figure out this "cure", whether Yosuke's back to normal, whether either of them is hurt...

He holds the card in hand for Kikuri-hime, to heal wounds or provide some firepower if needed, but he doesn't summon her yet.]

Yuchin, I figured it out.

(his voice is deep, hoarse from exercise, teeth pinkish from the blood that gathered in his mouth. the problem is what he realized in the fight, it's not going to be great.

with yosuke on the ground, it seems like they won the round, and he sighs, almost like he was hesitating - but he would never, would he? he could never.)

You'll need to heal him, but you shouldn't have to watch.

(meaning: he's gonna have to punch it out of him.)

I won't have you hating me again, so you should take a walk for a minute.

[even before Yosuke's vision starts swimming, he tries to slide himself up into a sitting position. he blinks, looking a bit lost... maybe coming back to himself a little, but the monster inside of him isn't gone.]

Do whatever... you guys need to...

[it's definitely Yosuke who's in control, even if he's swaying.]

I don't want to hurt anybody else...

[You shouldn't have to watch. And if not for the look on Yosuke's face, the tone of his voice, Yu might have turned around. But this-- he-- he can't do it. Turning to Mikey, he shakes his head.]

I'm not going anywhere. [He's not the type to run away. He's not the type to look away. And when it comes to Yosuke, especially when Yosuke is very visibly himself, or struggling to be that way...his feet are planted, unmoving.

But he recognizes what the other teen is concerned about, and his expression softens a bit.] ... I could never hate you, Mikey. Do it.

(moments like this, he misses the monster he used to be, as wrong as it is to think such an atrocity, with all the things he had done. the thing is, the curse was efficient like that - it'd make it so easy to just use his fists without any remorse, any hesitation, because he would not feel any. he wouldn't be there to have his feelings weighing him down.

his eyes dart to both boys, his eyebrows knitting, and if anyone is really looking, his eyes might be a little more shiny than usual, with the slightest tear pooling before he breathes in, like it never happened.

he hates this so much.)

... You two sure? You'll have to heal him, Yuchin.

[he'd attacked Yu. and not even in the way that they had when they usually fought and sparred and punched each other senseless. he had actually gone after Yu. his mind had screamed for his blood.

and it's starting to scream for him again. it's taking that love and starting to shove it back into the back of his mind, and he looks over at Mikey.

is he... emotional too?]

Do... whatever you need to.

[a flicker of confusion crosses his face as he fights to remain in control.]

Please.

[Is he sure? It's a good question -- and a fair one, considering what they've been through, recently. But Yu takes a moment to respond purposefully, for exactly that reason. He straightens up, making sure to catch Mikey's eye as he nods. Do it. He said so already, but now, his expression is steeped in the same certainty as when h spoke those two words.]

I'm ready.

[Mikey doesn't "get" the Persona thing -- that much is certain. But he's seen Yu summon them before, has seen the cards he uses, so when he holds one up, very much present, albeit currently unbroken...he assumes Mikey will at least understand the subtext he's trying to communicate. He's ready.]

(he can't, he can't, he can't

he CAN'T

not without the darkness, not with how shitty this feels, not with the fear of being abandoned over his violence all over again. he despises the fact he misses it, hopes for it to return, just once, just now, so the anxiety could stop trying to move his feet in the opposite direction.

he has to.

his eyes close shut, tight so he doesn't have to see, although the sound of his foot stomping on the chest man who's down, a man he cares about, might haunt him for a while. he might as well be exactly what he looks like - completely defeated, as his fists punch the disease out of yosuke. once he's done, once he can feel it in his knuckles, he stops.

stained hands hide in his pockets, back turned to the scene and a head gesture. heal him.)

(closed) how the most dangerous thing is to love

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