expiationlogs | ( closed ) the moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate.

Who: Ryoji and Various.
Where: All across Aldrip.
What: Some closed starters for the Gnosia event!
Warnings: General death and violence, incineration, assisted suicide/suicide, choking, ego death. Will update as it progresses!

This revelation does not come with fanfare. This is one that comes as subtle epiphany, like remembering to fetch your clothes from the laundromat or realizing you forgot to water your plants for the day. This is waking up and realizing something that has been there all along, something that has always existed inside you.

For Ryoji, it is a purpose. He doesn’t know where it comes from or why it is, only that it is ingrained in the fibers of his existence this entire time. It is instinct, a compulsion he cannot fight against — it is not a choice, or a quirk of personality. An instrument is only capable of fulfilling the purpose it has been given.

Nothing has to change, because everything is as how it has always been. As it should be. His regained dark wings remain tucked away, until the moment is at hand.

Humanity yearns for salvation. And he has been born to grant their final wish.

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[ "Death is inescapable."

He knows this. It is the one certainty in life. The scar on his shoulder from Thanatos' blade is yet another reminder.

All Minato can do is offer Ryoji a smile, even as the other's form begins to warp. Perhaps others would be frightened and step away. Minato stays. It's a form he's familiar with, one that he knows very well. ]

I know it's inescapable. It will happen someday.

[ It has already happened. ]

...but until that day happens, I promised others that I would do what I can to live.

[ There are too many names to list, of the people he'd come to know during his time in Aldrip. He can't accept Ryoji's offer. After all, there's still so much to do, so many moments he still needs to share with them.

He won't let them down. ]

...you don't want to kill anyone. It's okay.

[Even now, Minato looks so brilliant. Despite the softness in his eyes, he holds a conviction that does not waver in the face of death. It’s a beautiful sight.

Ryoji could only offer a sad smile.]

But that’s where you’re wrong, Minato.

[It’s a motion too fast to be seen by human eyes. The force of it all slams Minato against the wall, a pair of hands wrapped around his neck. Despite Ryoji’s sorrow, there is no hesitation in his movement — his grip tightens around Minato like a noose.]

I do want to kill you. I want to kill everyone. It’s simply what I was born to do.

[He says it so sweetly. In pure acceptance. The way his heart sings and yearns for blood and the way he always, always wanted to do this.

He can’t stop it. He can’t stop it anymore. He’s falling apart.

In front of Minato’s eyes, Ryoji completes his metamorphosis into Death.]

[ He'd already known he was no match for Ryoji. Even back then, he'd never truly defeated Nyx Avatar. The force that Ryoji slams him against a wall is yet another reminder that Mochizuki Ryoji was never human. ]

Ryoji --

[ You're wrong. You never wanted to kill anyone. You may be Death, but you are also Mochizuki Ryoji, who never wanted to harm anyone.

Those words never make it past his lips, not with Ryoji's hands increasing pressure against his windpipe. All Minato can do is grasp at Ryoji's arm and look back into his glowing eyes, defiant, unafraid.

He needs to survive, even if it's against all odds. He's no match against Ryoji, but he knows how badly it would hurt Ryoji to find out he'd died by the other's hands. ]

[Even if Minato were able to say those words, they would not reach Ryoji. At least, not in his current form. Mochizuki Ryoji might not want to harm anyone, but he's not Mochizuki Ryoji anymore. Death is but a weapon that is wielded by another.]

Oh dear. [Even his voice starts to sound flat, taking upon an otherworldly tone.] This is taking longer than I thought.

[So he squeezes harder. Tries with all of his might, so Minato can die as quickly as possible.]

To be honest, I wish I could take my time. There's still a lot more that I wish to learn about you, Minato. I could have delayed your death up until the last moment, right before the Gnos takes over everything.

[It's a one-sided conversation, Ryoji knows. But he keeps talking anyway, in that calm and gentle voice. Maybe it would hurt less if Minato can focus on something like that instead.]

But we don't have the luxury of time anymore. If you stayed alive, someone else might have made you suffer. Some of us like to torture our prey, you see. But I think everyone has the right to earn a peaceful death.

[ The hands around his neck squeeze harder. It hurts, leaving tears gathering in the corners of Minato's eyes. Ryoji's voice sounds distant as darkness sets in at the edges of his vision.

Ryoji speaks of a peaceful end. But there is no serenity in his actions which leave Minato's lungs feeling like they've gone aflame. The sweet words in his ear are futile. Minato resists its message. For a moment, he considers trying to reach for his Evoker despite lacking the strength to hold it steady.

Instead, he summons what little remains of his strength to raise an arm, carefully resting a palm against Ryoji's cheek. There, he cradles the other's face in his hand, gesture far too tender for them to be the strangers that Ryoji thought they were.

His eyes never leave Ryoji's gaze. Minato remains unafraid even now. Even as the vice grip tightens around his neck, his palm never leaves Ryoji, thumb gently brushing over his cheekbone.

He thinks as something damp rolls down his own face: Mochizuki Ryoji would not want this.

I forgive you. I forgive you.

Even if you are destined to lay ruin to the world -- I know you, and so I forgive you. ]

[Death is known to be the great equalizer — it is just and fair. It never treats anyone differently, no matter what you may have done in life. A lifeless mechanism that simply fulfills its functions.

And yet, a single touch is enough to stop him in his tracks. It was not a conscious decision — in fact, if it were anybody else it wouldn’t have made him freeze. Even Kotone.

But Minato is a stranger being, someone he has yet to know in the same way he knows of his counterpart in his own world. And yet, this stranger would do the same thing as her. He would still forgive him, no matter what.

The same things as Kotone would —

Please touch me… Make sure that I exist.

The memory comes to him in a sudden flash. Minato’s life, Minato’s throat — he still holds them in his hands, but they are lacking in pressure now. As if this is not how he wants to be remembered.

Feel for yourself that I’m actually here.

A single tear trails down at his cheek. The last vestiges of his humanity.

This is not how he wants to exist.]

( closed ) the moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate.

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cw: choking

cw: choking

cw: still choking

cw: still choking

cw: choking taking so long it's homoerotic