expiationlogs | ( closed ) the moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate.

Who: Ryoji and Various.
Where: All across Aldrip.
What: Some closed starters for the Gnosia event!
Warnings: General death and violence, incineration, assisted suicide/suicide, choking, ego death. Will update as it progresses!

This revelation does not come with fanfare. This is one that comes as subtle epiphany, like remembering to fetch your clothes from the laundromat or realizing you forgot to water your plants for the day. This is waking up and realizing something that has been there all along, something that has always existed inside you.

For Ryoji, it is a purpose. He doesn’t know where it comes from or why it is, only that it is ingrained in the fibers of his existence this entire time. It is instinct, a compulsion he cannot fight against — it is not a choice, or a quirk of personality. An instrument is only capable of fulfilling the purpose it has been given.

Nothing has to change, because everything is as how it has always been. As it should be. His regained dark wings remain tucked away, until the moment is at hand.

Humanity yearns for salvation. And he has been born to grant their final wish.

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[They have never met before, but they have communicated enough times in the past for Ryoji to spot one of his friends by sight. He doesn’t know a lot of white-haired guys after all, let alone shapeshifting dragons! And perhaps there’s just something in Rafal’s energy that makes him so distinguishable from the rest. The young boy can’t describe it, but he’s sure that it’s something “Fell Dragon-ish.”

It’s why Ryoji is so casual when he approaches him, his usual smile tinged with worry — the sign of a concerned friend.]

Did you see that warning on our tablets? That was really creepy!

[ rafal is on edge. this kind of behavior, this kind of setting reminds him too much of his own childhood. enemies all around, cloistered close. he doesn't sleep and his hand is always closed either around the hilt of his axe or his dragon. he has no fear of death, but the weakness it speaks of him dying ignobly.

defect, failure, worthless. he glances at ryoji absently. ]

So what? This is hardly surprising.

[The shadows on Rafal’s eyes, the rigid stance he takes, they tell more than the words that leave his mouth. He understands the need to be strong, he does, but surely that would eventually exhaust his dear friend too much? That wouldn’t do.]

This is way stranger than the incident with the tower, I think.

[But even as he says that, Ryoji’s eyes remain fixed on Rafal, observing with worry.]

It bothers more than you say, does it? You look exhausted!

[ he snaps back. ]

I'm fine. I've survived worse. And I will continue to survive.

[This isn't the first time Rafal has been abrasive towards him, but being able to hear him in person rather than just read it on the tablet makes Ryoji flinch a little. Even then, something tells him that he is more wound up than usual.

Perhaps Ryoji should be hurt by the backlash, but it just amplifies his concern.]

You're strong, Rafal-san. That's why I know you could keep surviving. But is this really the way to live? To be in pain all the time?

[ rafal frowns, his brow furrowing together for a moment. ]

Why does it matter? My life exists in the service of others. It is not my own to simply do whatever I wish.

I will not go back.

I think to live a life where you help others is admirable, but I don't think anyone would want to see you suffer in return. You can still be happy, you know?

[He could kill him now like this, he knows. But that is not the kind of death Ryoji wants to deliver. If this would be his friend's final moments, he would want them to be spent in hope rather than in despair.]

[ even if he did and that was a big if, who would want to? rafal is a destroyer. an ender of worlds. a fell dragon. to be cruel and heartless is in his blood. his father ensured it in every single one of them. he's murdered his own siblings. he's murdered the world.

how could any universe suffer a person like him to be happy? it seems incorrect by every metric. being alive is for atonement. nothing more. ]

What makes you so sure?

Perhaps your life had been a terrible one, but it doesn't have to stay like that forever. Everyone deserves a second chance for a happy ending.

[His smile is so gentle, like the glow of moonlight.]

You don't need to atone anymore, Rafal-san.

No.

[ his fingers clench around his axe and he hefts it up to point the curve at ryoji. ]

I will not let anyone take that from me.

[ if it's gone, if he no longer can atone, then he'll be worthless. defect. failure. ]

[Ryoji's sigh is that of defeat. Darkness pools beneath them, a blackened void on the floor. Rafal might be a fell dragon, but this power is not for him to control.]

I didn't want to end it like this.

[The voice that comes from him doesn't sound like it belongs to a teenager anymore.]

It's okay, Rafal-san. You don't need to shoulder it anymore. You can rest now.

— What?

[ this spell. it's nothing he's ever encountered. with a snarl in his voice, rafal reaches for his dragonstone, activating its power. in his place, stands a large dragon with large jaws and a vicious tail. ]

I said no.

[ his jaws snap as he attempts to make his way to ryoji, eyes blazing. ]

[There is no fear or surprise in Ryoji's eyes. The dragon cannot kill him, after all.

In his hand a sword is conjured, thin yet long - steel would have scraped against the floor if not for the dark tendrils curling against it, embracing it as if one has met a long-lost friend.]

Death will give you the peace you both longed for and deserved.

[Ryoji's voice continues to echo - it reverberates with something ancient and primal. It's almost as if he's being controlled by someone else's strings.

He swings his sword up, long before the dragon's jaw meets his match. But that was never his target in the first place - it merely commands the curses under his command, forming tall and sharp thorns aiming to pierce his claws and wings.]

[ the dragon gives an enraged roar as they pierce his wings but rafal is relentless. he pushes through the pain, trying his best not to slow down. light builds in his throat, hoping to release a powerful blast at ryoji to stop him. ]

You will not steal my purpose from me!

( closed ) the moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate.

for rafal!

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cw: mentions of murder

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