expiationlogs | me and all my other mes

Entry tags:

me and all my other mes

Who: Scott Summers and you
Where: Around Aldrip
What: Scott glitching into different versions of himself, such as 97, James Marsden, time displaced teen Scott from the comics, etc...
Warnings: Maybe some possible spoilers for X-Men 97??

I’m Totally Buggin (X-Men 97);
[Walking around Aldrip? You may notice a slightly familiar, but also pretty different version of one Scott Summers. Mostly, just the fact that he's an adult that's wearing a bright and colorful X-Men uniform. Look, who would wear black leather?? There's definitely a certain serious countenance to him as he looks around, because this place is new and unfamiliar and where is his team? Hell, he'll even be glad to see Magneto around, since the older mutant has shown that he's capable of letting humans go despite their crimes against them. Second chances and all. It's what the late Professor wanted.

...He still wonders if he didn't do a good enough job if the Professor left everything to Magneto.

But no thoughts for that right now. He has to find the other X-Men or help out any mutants if they are in this city. So, once again, he tries to communicate with the other members of his team, pressing the communicator on his uniform to contact them.]

It's Cyclops, report.

[Once that message is sent, however, Scott will continue his exploration, perhaps even resorting to stopping someone else to ask for information. This doesn't look like an elaborate kidnapping ploy, so he's willing to hear out any of the people walking around.] Can you tell me where we're at?

[Maybe you'll catch Scott walking around one of the more crime infested areas, just casually blasting a robber from across the street with the lowest power setting so that they collapse to the ground, mostly uninjured. It sure is nice to have a visor where he can control the output of his blasts.]

I was basically a cameo (X3: Last Stand);
[Enjoying the beach? Well, maybe not anymore, because there is a scream that echoes throughout the area before two familiar red blasts shoot through the sea for a few seconds, the water breaking apart before instantly converging once more as Scott falls to his knees a respectable distance away (look, he wasn't going to blast right next to someone, he has just enough sense for that). And it's definitely some version of Scott as he stares out at the ocean with an expression that seems haunted and exhausted, despite the shades covering his eyes. Maybe it's the fact that he clearly hasn't shaven in a hot minute.

Normally, Scott wouldn't even think to act this way out in public. But Jean is gone. He can't even hear her in his mind now. She's been dead for a year and he still can't come to grips with it. It's just. He should've done more for her. He should've been there. He should've done something. He... he doesn't know what to do and all that training and self-control is not helping him right now.

He can only just look at the water in front of him, so unlike the lake that claimed her, teeth clenching as her name falls from him.]

Jean...

I stole Wolverine's bike (All New X-Men comics);
[Well, isn't this great.

This Scott half expects Hank to pop out of nowhere and tell him that he's been brought to somewhere else to stop his future self, even if it doesn't make any sense. Nothing has made sense though in the past few days. Look, learning that he kills Charles Xavier in the future, that his future self is a mutant revolutionary hanging out with Magneto, and that everyone pretty much hates him has been a lot. He... he didn't do that. He doesn't want to do any of that.

But Hank hasn't come out to tell him his new idea. And people aren't looking at him with utter contempt or distrust. It's kind of nice. Sure, he only experienced that for just a few days now, but it has been enough. It's not like he can really forget how even Jean looked at him when everyone learned what his future self is like. Probably didn't help that he literally attacked him and the others and promptly disappeared with his new best friend Magneto.

God, this sucks still. Because he doesn't know where he's at and no one is familiar. He'd still rather have the other young X-Men here, because even if it's Bobby or Warren looking at him with distrust, at least they're still his friends.

Scott stares up at the sky for a moment, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He can handle this. He can--]

This might as well happen!

[He shouts into the sky before promptly collapsing back on the grass and staring upward still. Maybe that feral man with the claws will come out of nowhere to kill him. He wonders if it would be that bad.]

wildcard;
[Want a different Scott? Just let me know and I'll try to swing it! Feel free to plot with me at

currykirby]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yep.

[There's no way in hell she's letting this Scott just wander off. If he really did replace her Scott, does that mean her Scott is in there somewhere? If he felt like he knew her, felt a... "warmth," whatever that means, that means somehow they're connected. Right?

She doesn't know. That's maybe the scariest thing of all, the Not-Knowing. Would it help to take this Scott to the places she'd shared with her Scott? They could go to the roof, or to the beach, or even back to Scott's house. There's a reflexive sort of dread to that final thought -- it feels weird to take this Scott to the house she lives in. Like inviting an imposter into their space, but... that's not fair. That's an ugly thought.

She closes her eyes for a moment, takes another breath, and determinedly pushes herself up to sit.]

We won't figure anything out just laying around. C'mon.

[Summers, you really got roped into another complicated situation. What happened to just forming strategies to fight Magneto??

Even if he could protest-- something that feels really hard for some reason (maybe it's because Kotone seems really bossy), it's probably a good idea to go along with her. She knows him, in a good way for once if that picture is anything to go by. So, he can trust her, he can get information and explore this new area without worrying about getting stabbed in the back. Cons? He's just going to disappoint her in the end when they don't find this other Scott. She's just going to be stuck with him, this guy that's going to be hated by his friends and family, the Scott that can't smile like that in the picture.

At least, he will be the Scott that doesn't know her, not really. He has no full memories of her.

He thinks she deserves better than that.

Scott wrestles with what he wants to do before just giving up with an internal sigh. Yeah, okay, he'll go. Maybe the guy with the claws will pop out of nowhere and end his miserable existence.]

Okay. [He sounds so defeated, but Scott soon gets up from the ground with a look of 'this might as well happen.' However, he still offers her a hand.] We'll start by searching places he goes to often.

[And obviously, that would be--]

Got a training room?

[There's not even a second that she thinks he might refuse to come with her; he's Scott Summers. Of course he'll want to help a girl who's probably not hiding her distress as well as she wishes she were. Sure, he might want to pretend he's some cool rebel, but he's a good guy under all of that bravado; she can't imagine a different Scott being any, well, different.

So she takes his hand and lets him help her up, even if it's unnecessary. She even squeezes his hand briefly in thanks, opening her mouth to say so, when-]

Huh?

[She snorts a startled little laugh in spite of herself, only belatedly pulling her hand back so she can try to stifle it. Scott, in something called a "training room?!"]

I mean, there's Mikey's dojo, but I don't think we had any plans to go there today. I was thinking more about the roof, or the sandwich shop...

[What's so funny???

Scott's expression turns almost comically perplexed, like he truly doesn't understand why she'd be laughing about such a suggestion. But then she elaborates and... is she implying that this Scott-- her Scott, doesn't train at all?? He doesn't have to lead the X-Men in numerous Danger Room sessions? He doesn't have the Professor to impress??

It feels so foreign that he doesn't even how know to respond for a moment.]

The... sandwich shop. [Scott slowly repeats. Okay, he's really getting the hint now that he and this other Scott share very different lives despite them both being Scott Summers. Except this Scott is the one that has a cute girlfriend, that gets to live a normal life and how is that even fair??

That ugly feeling rises in his chest again, suddenly feeling overwhelmed once more, but thanks to his X-Men training, he pushes it back. Actually, he wants to go back home again, so he doesn't have to be reminded how much things could be better for him.]

Lead the way. [He says after a moment, his voice just a little more clipped now.]

Mmhm.

[She tilts her head, her smile fading as her brows pinch together. She might not be the best at expressing her own emotions, but she's always been good at reading other people's, if only to try to guess how to respond appropriately. It doesn't take a genius to recognize that something she's said has upset him, though, and her concerned gaze searches his face for a moment.

That feeling only intensifies at the sound of his voice, and she reaches out to grab his hand again to keep him from trying to go without her (even if he'd just told her to lead the way??)]

What's wrong?

[Just a blunt question, because she wants to know. Even if he's not her Scott, he's still Scott. She'd care no matter what.]

Nothing.

[He bites out, his face perhaps changing into a familiar defensive anger before he tries smoothing it out. It's not like he wants to get super emotional in front of her, especially since he's not actually her boyfriend or anything. They might as well be strangers, even though she's been nice and friendly and that warmth in his chest hasn't diminished. It's just embarrassing to talk about his feelings like this; he can handle everything on his own.

Besides, she's probably way more worried about her Scott. The actual boyfriend. No need to have her worry about two Scott Summers at once.]

Just wanting to go back home, that's all. I'm a X-Man. [Surely her Scott knows what that's like. ...Maybe not.] There's people counting on me and I'm worried about them.

[She manages not to flinch, though there's a brief flicker of hurt that crosses her face in spite of herself. Unfortunately for him, that only firms her resolve, back straightening as she moves in front of him to start heading toward- she doesn't know. The club building, probably. That seems as good a place to start as any. But as she passes him, she adds quietly,]

You can lie to yourself if you want to. But don't lie to me.

[She and her Scott (uncharitably, she keeps wanting to call him the real Scott) had made a promise a long time ago, a promise not to lie to each other. This Scott, of course, isn't bound by that, but there's no way in hell she's just going to let him throw a tantrum like this in front of her.]

How long ago did you get your powers, Scott?

[And maybe it seems like a too-abrupt shift of topic, but she's going somewhere with it.]

[Who said that she can call him out like that??

Scott's frown tightens across his face, as if trying even harder to keep himself composed, hoping that wall of indifference will make her back off just a little. He's not that Scott-- that other teen who looks so happy and normal. Whatever expectations she has of him... he'll just have to douse them. Go figure that he's fighting against everyone's idea of him back home-- in the future and now he's doing it here, except in an entirely different manner.

Why does this keep happening to him?? A part of Scott wants to shout to the sky once more, sulk on the ground and refuse getting up, but he's still walking and following her.]

Three years. [Scott decides that he can at least answer that question for her. It's something factual, probably.] Why?

[Of course he's still following her. He's Scott Summers! Is he even capable of not following a cute girl who gives him orders--

Three years, though. If her Scott had stayed with the X-Men, is this what he'd be like...? She can't imagine it. They've been through some difficult things here in Aldrip together, and when Scott first arrived, he was kind of moody and angry, but he'd gotten better about that kind of thing. This Scott never had that chance? Or he just has too much going on and nobody to talk to about it. That's also kind of sad. Anyway,]

Scott only had his powers for a few days before he got taken here, [she says finally, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure he's listening before returning her attention to the front.] He's not an X-Man like you. You're different people.

[Cut him some slack!]

Edited 2024-09-15 12:00 (UTC)

[Just a few days...? Wait, and this other Scott is around the same age as him?! Not that he can directly pinpoint his age just from that photo alone or assume how old Kotone is (and he's not going to ask he has manners), but he's pretty sure they're both around 16. And yet, he got to live without his optic blasts until now??

Scott's jaw drops, momentarily stopping for just a few seconds and maybe making him look almost silly before he continues following her. It... okay. Fine, guess that explains why his other self is not a X-Man yet. Why he hasn't been involved in the Danger Room. He got an extra three years to be normal or so.

He's jealous. Although, at the same time, he's not unsympathetic either. It's hard, suddenly getting your powers. Needing to always wear glasses, seeing everything red. He... he adjusted rather quickly, based on the picture. A part of him kind of respects that.]

...It really feels like we're different people.

[Oops he's sullen and sulky again. Scott shoves his hands inside the jacket he took, not thinking about how moody he appears.]

That's 'cause you are!

[Simple as that! This Scott isn't her Scott, even if he's kind of cute and easy to talk to. He has the same dry humor and the same sullen attitude as when he'd first arrived in Aldrip, but he is different. Kotone doesn't stop walking, but she does glance back over her shoulder as if to wordlessly prompt him to keep up.

Her lips curve into a little smile, though, and she tilts her head to catch his eye before turning forward to watch where she's going again.]

He's one Scott Summers, and you're a different one. Just 'cause you've got the same name and the same powers doesn't mean you have the same experiences, or that one of you is better than the other. You're just different.

[She makes it sound so simple.

Scott still isn't convinced though. They have the same name, same powers... they even look kind of similar. It's just they're from different timelines, apparently. This other Scott got to be normal, something he's always wanted. He's not sure if it's better or worse thinking that they're different or not. He wants to imagine that he could be like that if given the opportunity, be that happy teen from the photograph.

Or does it sting more because of that?

...Thinking about this really isn't helping.]

Yeah. We're different. [MOODY.] Look, you don't have to be nice to me. If all things work out, I'll be gone and the Scott you want will be back.

I don't have to do lots of things.

[Like be nice to moody versions of her boyfriend, or even take them for walks to try to get out some of this restless angry energy, and yet, here she is anyway! This kind of volunteer work really should be paid.

She smiles again anyway and shakes her head back at him, the attitude simply bouncing right off her without leaving a mark.]

But I want to. So instead of being mad about who you aren't, why don't you tell me more about who you are?

[He's not her Scott. Maybe the more she knows about him, the easier it'll be to hope that this one hasn't replaced hers, but is instead here in addition to him.]

[She really is a cheerful type, along with being incredibly stubborn. Scott's sure she has plenty of friends, someone that people would want to be around. He can't relate to that, but he's given up trying to push her away. She can do whatever she wants; she'll probably find someone else at some point. So, guess he'll just deal with this for the time being.

...Talk about himself, as she asked. Well, there's definitely one thing that he doesn't want to bring up now, but there's... there's more to him than that awful future, right? The future where everyone hates him for killing Charles Xavier.]

I'm the leader of the X-Men. [He's mentioned before that he's a X-Man, but he really wants to clarify that! It's the most important thing to Scott, the thing that truly defines him.] I train daily with my team so that we can be a good force for both humans and mutants everywhere.

[This is definitely how one answers a question like that.]

[Try being less moody and more likable then-]

Oooh... so like, you're learning more about how to talk to people?

[Like, instead of just fighting, maybe his team is more like ambassadors or-- no who is she kidding, she's teasing him a little bit for the way he phrased it, tossing him another smile over her shoulder. He certainly doesn't have the attitude of a diplomat, she's pretty sure! Mitsuru could probably give him lessons on that kind of thing.

There's a touch more sympathy to her smile though as she adds,]

It's tough being a leader though, huh? People must rely on you a lot.

Huh? No, I make strategies for us and ensure that we work together well as a team--

[...Oh, she's teasing him, isn't she? He didn't get it at first, but as she smiles at him once more, Scott fully gets it then. The mutant starts to feel embarrassed and though he tries to hide it, a part of that feeling shines through, making him almost pout, but he's definitely not doing that. Scott Summers does not pout.

Kotone is sort of a menace, isn't she? Totally unfair that she knows more about him than he does of her, even if it's just some other version of him. He's blaming that for the reason why she's able to dig at something that's always on his mind. It's so rude that she hit that button right away. A part of him wants to just brush her off, but there's that understanding and sympathy in her eyes and he hasn't seen that expression in others that much, especially not recently.]

....

[She's still so nice to him.]

It's really tough. [Scott quietly admits, his more sullen expression directed to the ground now. There's something sad surrounding him now, an air that he can't shake off him.] I... I didn't ask to be the leader, but Professor Xavier's counting on me. And I owe him everything.

[....] I don't want to let him down. Or the others. This is my role.

[Scott Summers definitely does pout, and her eyes sparkle a little bit with redoubled mischief at his expression -- but no, okay. She'll be serious, taking the small vulnerability he's shown her and holding it close as she nods in understanding. He sounds just like she did, when she was leading SEES. Not that she'd told anybody that until she'd gotten to Aldrip, but -- it's kind of funny, having her own thoughts echoed to her from someone else.]

I think if you ask, people don't want you to lead, [she says simply with a fond smile. Junpei had wanted so badly to be the leader at the beginning, and she'd been more than willing to hand it over to him, but Mitsuru and Akihiko had believed in her. She could never let them or any of the others down. As she keeps walking, she adds, almost as an afterthought, almost as if it's not of monumental importance,] Don't forget your team wants to support you too, though, okay? I didn't learn that until it was too late.

[Maybe she's right about that. Warren wanted to lead (or maybe he was just joking), but it's hard imagining his friend in the position that he's currently in. They've all just settled into their roles-- well, mostly Scott has accepted the full responsibility that's been placed onto him. Developing strategies, making sure that the X-Men work, being a good representation of mutants. All of that has to matter still, even if everyone hates him later.

...It has to be worth it.

Although, the familiarity of how Kotone speaks about all this draws Scott's curiosity. If her boyfriend isn't a X-Man, then she's probably speaking from personal experience. She didn't hear about these sort of struggles from that other Scott.]

Until it was too late? [Scott frowns, that particular comment sticking boldly out to him.] What happened?

[She should have expected he'd pick up on something like that. He might not be her Scott, but he's still Scott.

> Lie to him
> Tell the truth
> ...]

I had to go. [It's not a complete answer, but it's not a lie, either. There's sadness tinging her smile as she glances back to him again, but she shrugs, too before returning her attention forward.] Plus, I showed up here not too long after. But... I think things would have been easier if I'd realized that I could rely on everybody else instead of just being the perfect leader.

[She's sad.

It's subtle, but he can see it in her smile. He's not sure if it's the remnants of the other Scott's feelings or some of his own that makes his chest hurt seeing that. She's been nice to him and he can say with some amount of certainty now that she isn't like this to him just because he's some awkward version of her boyfriend. She sincerely cares about him, about others.

He doesn't want to ask what she meant by 'had to go.' Maybe he already knows, somehow.]

...You felt like you couldn't make mistakes, right? That you'd be disappointing them.

[It's how he often feels with the X-Men.]

Yeah.

[That's easier to answer, at least with Scott. It's a simple fact, after all; Mitsuru and Akihiko and everybody else were dealing with so many of their own problems that the least Kotone could do was make sure everything went well enough in battle. Plus,]

If I made a mistake... if I directed the wrong attack or read an enemy's weakness wrong, somebody could get hurt. Or worse.

[If she'd realized what was wrong with Ken and Shinji, maybe that could have been prevented. If she'd somehow figured out about the chairman, or any of the other things... she'd made a lot of mistakes as a leader. But she'd still done everything she could for everybody. There's a soft smile on her face as she continues, though.]

But after talking to a lot of people here, it kind of became obvious. As much as we want to support our team, they want to support us, too.

[Hearing that from her, it really feels like they can't mess up, ever. One wrong move, one wrong calculation, and the friends that he's managed to make could end up dead because of him. She understands, right? It feels like she does, but she's also saying that it would be better if she relied on her teammates earlier. How much does she mean by that?

He knows that Jean and the others want to support him, but doesn't that mean he needs to be even better for them?]

I trust them.

[He trusts them in combat, to come together as a team when it comes down to it. That's why they're the X-Men. Although...] It doesn't mean that I can still mess up.

Do you trust them enough to talk to them, though?

[About the stuff that matters, that is. For so many of her friends, she'd been a listening ear, or just someone to talk about nothing to fill the silence for them. There hadn't been many times where she'd felt like she could talk about her own honest feelings or expose herself like that -- and really, maybe it was a question about trust. Could she trust them to still rely on her if they knew she still had doubts and questions?

She knows now she could have. But back then, the Kotone who'd worn a smile in every situation couldn't have understood that. Maybe it's the same for Scott, and she tosses him another small smile over her shoulder.]

It's okay if you don't yet. But think about it, okay?

[Well, she got him there.

Scott, maybe predictably at this point, falls into another sullen silence. No, he doesn't really talk to them, not about the stuff bothering him. Jean is probably the only exception, but even though he likes and trusts the other guys on his team, it's just... kind of hard to open to them. He's already the sad orphan boy that can't control his powers, he doesn't need another reason for them to doubt his leadership. Or worse, pity him.

Besides, Professor Xavier is counting on him to lead them effectively. The first X-Men team ever. Thinking about all that nearly gets him to spiral into another pit of anxiety, but as she smiles back at him, Scott swallows, allowing himself to nod.]

Okay, I'll think about it at least.

[He can promise that much, probably. Maybe he'll be able to smile like that Scott in the picture with her. He really is lucky, isn't he?]

[She smiles in response to his nod, a tiny fraction of a weight lifting off her shoulders at the acknowledgement. There's no way to know if this Scott is here forever, or if he's replaced her Scott -- she refuses to think about that too hard, though, stubbornly pushing that thought away and clinging to the desperate hope that she'll find her Scott and then there will just be two of them.

But maybe this Scott can at least take her words to heart. Even if he's stuck here in Aldrip with all the rest of them, it's a good thing to think about, probably. A difficult thing, to be sure -- she knows that from experience -- but it's worth it to think, anyway.

Taking a few more steps forward, she rounds a corner and stops in front of a large building, one that looks as though it were crafted of melted stone. It's oddly organic compared to the more modern buildings around, but Kotone looks at it with some relief in spite of that.]

So, this is the club building! This is where I spend a lot of my afternoons.

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