expiationlogs | me and all my other mes

Entry tags:

me and all my other mes

Who: Scott Summers and you
Where: Around Aldrip
What: Scott glitching into different versions of himself, such as 97, James Marsden, time displaced teen Scott from the comics, etc...
Warnings: Maybe some possible spoilers for X-Men 97??

I’m Totally Buggin (X-Men 97);
[Walking around Aldrip? You may notice a slightly familiar, but also pretty different version of one Scott Summers. Mostly, just the fact that he's an adult that's wearing a bright and colorful X-Men uniform. Look, who would wear black leather?? There's definitely a certain serious countenance to him as he looks around, because this place is new and unfamiliar and where is his team? Hell, he'll even be glad to see Magneto around, since the older mutant has shown that he's capable of letting humans go despite their crimes against them. Second chances and all. It's what the late Professor wanted.

...He still wonders if he didn't do a good enough job if the Professor left everything to Magneto.

But no thoughts for that right now. He has to find the other X-Men or help out any mutants if they are in this city. So, once again, he tries to communicate with the other members of his team, pressing the communicator on his uniform to contact them.]

It's Cyclops, report.

[Once that message is sent, however, Scott will continue his exploration, perhaps even resorting to stopping someone else to ask for information. This doesn't look like an elaborate kidnapping ploy, so he's willing to hear out any of the people walking around.] Can you tell me where we're at?

[Maybe you'll catch Scott walking around one of the more crime infested areas, just casually blasting a robber from across the street with the lowest power setting so that they collapse to the ground, mostly uninjured. It sure is nice to have a visor where he can control the output of his blasts.]

I was basically a cameo (X3: Last Stand);
[Enjoying the beach? Well, maybe not anymore, because there is a scream that echoes throughout the area before two familiar red blasts shoot through the sea for a few seconds, the water breaking apart before instantly converging once more as Scott falls to his knees a respectable distance away (look, he wasn't going to blast right next to someone, he has just enough sense for that). And it's definitely some version of Scott as he stares out at the ocean with an expression that seems haunted and exhausted, despite the shades covering his eyes. Maybe it's the fact that he clearly hasn't shaven in a hot minute.

Normally, Scott wouldn't even think to act this way out in public. But Jean is gone. He can't even hear her in his mind now. She's been dead for a year and he still can't come to grips with it. It's just. He should've done more for her. He should've been there. He should've done something. He... he doesn't know what to do and all that training and self-control is not helping him right now.

He can only just look at the water in front of him, so unlike the lake that claimed her, teeth clenching as her name falls from him.]

Jean...

I stole Wolverine's bike (All New X-Men comics);
[Well, isn't this great.

This Scott half expects Hank to pop out of nowhere and tell him that he's been brought to somewhere else to stop his future self, even if it doesn't make any sense. Nothing has made sense though in the past few days. Look, learning that he kills Charles Xavier in the future, that his future self is a mutant revolutionary hanging out with Magneto, and that everyone pretty much hates him has been a lot. He... he didn't do that. He doesn't want to do any of that.

But Hank hasn't come out to tell him his new idea. And people aren't looking at him with utter contempt or distrust. It's kind of nice. Sure, he only experienced that for just a few days now, but it has been enough. It's not like he can really forget how even Jean looked at him when everyone learned what his future self is like. Probably didn't help that he literally attacked him and the others and promptly disappeared with his new best friend Magneto.

God, this sucks still. Because he doesn't know where he's at and no one is familiar. He'd still rather have the other young X-Men here, because even if it's Bobby or Warren looking at him with distrust, at least they're still his friends.

Scott stares up at the sky for a moment, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He can handle this. He can--]

This might as well happen!

[He shouts into the sky before promptly collapsing back on the grass and staring upward still. Maybe that feral man with the claws will come out of nowhere to kill him. He wonders if it would be that bad.]

wildcard;
[Want a different Scott? Just let me know and I'll try to swing it! Feel free to plot with me at

currykirby]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She really is a cheerful type, along with being incredibly stubborn. Scott's sure she has plenty of friends, someone that people would want to be around. He can't relate to that, but he's given up trying to push her away. She can do whatever she wants; she'll probably find someone else at some point. So, guess he'll just deal with this for the time being.

...Talk about himself, as she asked. Well, there's definitely one thing that he doesn't want to bring up now, but there's... there's more to him than that awful future, right? The future where everyone hates him for killing Charles Xavier.]

I'm the leader of the X-Men. [He's mentioned before that he's a X-Man, but he really wants to clarify that! It's the most important thing to Scott, the thing that truly defines him.] I train daily with my team so that we can be a good force for both humans and mutants everywhere.

[This is definitely how one answers a question like that.]

[Try being less moody and more likable then-]

Oooh... so like, you're learning more about how to talk to people?

[Like, instead of just fighting, maybe his team is more like ambassadors or-- no who is she kidding, she's teasing him a little bit for the way he phrased it, tossing him another smile over her shoulder. He certainly doesn't have the attitude of a diplomat, she's pretty sure! Mitsuru could probably give him lessons on that kind of thing.

There's a touch more sympathy to her smile though as she adds,]

It's tough being a leader though, huh? People must rely on you a lot.

Huh? No, I make strategies for us and ensure that we work together well as a team--

[...Oh, she's teasing him, isn't she? He didn't get it at first, but as she smiles at him once more, Scott fully gets it then. The mutant starts to feel embarrassed and though he tries to hide it, a part of that feeling shines through, making him almost pout, but he's definitely not doing that. Scott Summers does not pout.

Kotone is sort of a menace, isn't she? Totally unfair that she knows more about him than he does of her, even if it's just some other version of him. He's blaming that for the reason why she's able to dig at something that's always on his mind. It's so rude that she hit that button right away. A part of him wants to just brush her off, but there's that understanding and sympathy in her eyes and he hasn't seen that expression in others that much, especially not recently.]

....

[She's still so nice to him.]

It's really tough. [Scott quietly admits, his more sullen expression directed to the ground now. There's something sad surrounding him now, an air that he can't shake off him.] I... I didn't ask to be the leader, but Professor Xavier's counting on me. And I owe him everything.

[....] I don't want to let him down. Or the others. This is my role.

[Scott Summers definitely does pout, and her eyes sparkle a little bit with redoubled mischief at his expression -- but no, okay. She'll be serious, taking the small vulnerability he's shown her and holding it close as she nods in understanding. He sounds just like she did, when she was leading SEES. Not that she'd told anybody that until she'd gotten to Aldrip, but -- it's kind of funny, having her own thoughts echoed to her from someone else.]

I think if you ask, people don't want you to lead, [she says simply with a fond smile. Junpei had wanted so badly to be the leader at the beginning, and she'd been more than willing to hand it over to him, but Mitsuru and Akihiko had believed in her. She could never let them or any of the others down. As she keeps walking, she adds, almost as an afterthought, almost as if it's not of monumental importance,] Don't forget your team wants to support you too, though, okay? I didn't learn that until it was too late.

[Maybe she's right about that. Warren wanted to lead (or maybe he was just joking), but it's hard imagining his friend in the position that he's currently in. They've all just settled into their roles-- well, mostly Scott has accepted the full responsibility that's been placed onto him. Developing strategies, making sure that the X-Men work, being a good representation of mutants. All of that has to matter still, even if everyone hates him later.

...It has to be worth it.

Although, the familiarity of how Kotone speaks about all this draws Scott's curiosity. If her boyfriend isn't a X-Man, then she's probably speaking from personal experience. She didn't hear about these sort of struggles from that other Scott.]

Until it was too late? [Scott frowns, that particular comment sticking boldly out to him.] What happened?

[She should have expected he'd pick up on something like that. He might not be her Scott, but he's still Scott.

> Lie to him
> Tell the truth
> ...]

I had to go. [It's not a complete answer, but it's not a lie, either. There's sadness tinging her smile as she glances back to him again, but she shrugs, too before returning her attention forward.] Plus, I showed up here not too long after. But... I think things would have been easier if I'd realized that I could rely on everybody else instead of just being the perfect leader.

[She's sad.

It's subtle, but he can see it in her smile. He's not sure if it's the remnants of the other Scott's feelings or some of his own that makes his chest hurt seeing that. She's been nice to him and he can say with some amount of certainty now that she isn't like this to him just because he's some awkward version of her boyfriend. She sincerely cares about him, about others.

He doesn't want to ask what she meant by 'had to go.' Maybe he already knows, somehow.]

...You felt like you couldn't make mistakes, right? That you'd be disappointing them.

[It's how he often feels with the X-Men.]

Yeah.

[That's easier to answer, at least with Scott. It's a simple fact, after all; Mitsuru and Akihiko and everybody else were dealing with so many of their own problems that the least Kotone could do was make sure everything went well enough in battle. Plus,]

If I made a mistake... if I directed the wrong attack or read an enemy's weakness wrong, somebody could get hurt. Or worse.

[If she'd realized what was wrong with Ken and Shinji, maybe that could have been prevented. If she'd somehow figured out about the chairman, or any of the other things... she'd made a lot of mistakes as a leader. But she'd still done everything she could for everybody. There's a soft smile on her face as she continues, though.]

But after talking to a lot of people here, it kind of became obvious. As much as we want to support our team, they want to support us, too.

[Hearing that from her, it really feels like they can't mess up, ever. One wrong move, one wrong calculation, and the friends that he's managed to make could end up dead because of him. She understands, right? It feels like she does, but she's also saying that it would be better if she relied on her teammates earlier. How much does she mean by that?

He knows that Jean and the others want to support him, but doesn't that mean he needs to be even better for them?]

I trust them.

[He trusts them in combat, to come together as a team when it comes down to it. That's why they're the X-Men. Although...] It doesn't mean that I can still mess up.

Do you trust them enough to talk to them, though?

[About the stuff that matters, that is. For so many of her friends, she'd been a listening ear, or just someone to talk about nothing to fill the silence for them. There hadn't been many times where she'd felt like she could talk about her own honest feelings or expose herself like that -- and really, maybe it was a question about trust. Could she trust them to still rely on her if they knew she still had doubts and questions?

She knows now she could have. But back then, the Kotone who'd worn a smile in every situation couldn't have understood that. Maybe it's the same for Scott, and she tosses him another small smile over her shoulder.]

It's okay if you don't yet. But think about it, okay?

[Well, she got him there.

Scott, maybe predictably at this point, falls into another sullen silence. No, he doesn't really talk to them, not about the stuff bothering him. Jean is probably the only exception, but even though he likes and trusts the other guys on his team, it's just... kind of hard to open to them. He's already the sad orphan boy that can't control his powers, he doesn't need another reason for them to doubt his leadership. Or worse, pity him.

Besides, Professor Xavier is counting on him to lead them effectively. The first X-Men team ever. Thinking about all that nearly gets him to spiral into another pit of anxiety, but as she smiles back at him, Scott swallows, allowing himself to nod.]

Okay, I'll think about it at least.

[He can promise that much, probably. Maybe he'll be able to smile like that Scott in the picture with her. He really is lucky, isn't he?]

[She smiles in response to his nod, a tiny fraction of a weight lifting off her shoulders at the acknowledgement. There's no way to know if this Scott is here forever, or if he's replaced her Scott -- she refuses to think about that too hard, though, stubbornly pushing that thought away and clinging to the desperate hope that she'll find her Scott and then there will just be two of them.

But maybe this Scott can at least take her words to heart. Even if he's stuck here in Aldrip with all the rest of them, it's a good thing to think about, probably. A difficult thing, to be sure -- she knows that from experience -- but it's worth it to think, anyway.

Taking a few more steps forward, she rounds a corner and stops in front of a large building, one that looks as though it were crafted of melted stone. It's oddly organic compared to the more modern buildings around, but Kotone looks at it with some relief in spite of that.]

So, this is the club building! This is where I spend a lot of my afternoons.

[So, this is the club building. It's decently sized, although a small part of him still wonders if there's still some sort of training area in there. If not, it needs one. Maybe that's a... club he can eventually form, 'train your skills and be prepared for battle.' Yeah, that sounds pretty decent.]

So, we'll look--

[The change is sudden, there's no grandiose effect, no shake in the atmosphere or anything like that, just one moment Scott talking before his voice disappears to leave behind an all to familiar version of Scott Summers standing in his place. He blinks, clearly confused, the memories of everything that just happened taking a moment to slot in his mind.

He raises a hand to his forehead, palm pressing against skin as he winces. Okay, that was weird.]

Scott?

[As soon as his voice cuts off, she turns, almost afraid that something's happened to him -- like he's gotten hurt, or gotten taken, or something -- but she can only gasp softly when her own Scott is standing in his place as if he'd been there all alone. Her throat tightens, and she lunges forward, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing him with all the strength she can muster. If that cracks a few ribs, well, he can deal with that after what she'd gone through.]

You're back!

[And maybe it's cruel to that other Scott, but there's no hiding the relief that courses through her voice; she can't help but laugh a little with the sheer joy of it. She'd been so afraid that he was gone that now that he's here, it seems almost unbelievable.]

Hey--

[Whatever cocky response he had stored for her is cut off with a loud oof, the teen unable to keep his standing as the full force of one Kotone Shiomi tackles into him and knocks him on his ass. The force of her grip actually kind of hurts, but Scott shuts his mouth from any complaints as he takes in the relief fully expressed by her.

Pairing that with the memories of the past hour or so... her reaction makes sense. She was really worried, huh? That he was gone for good, replaced by a different version of him. If he was in her shoes, he'd react the same way, probably even worse, honestly. Upset by a Kotone that didn't remember him...

Well, not thinking about that. Scott's expression slowly shifts into one of understanding, with something apologetic actually entering his tone. There's really only one person he's this gentle with, leaving behind all walls as he smiles so openly at her.]

Sorry for worrying you, Koto. [He lowers one hand to her face, gently cupping one cheek as he lets that easy love for her shine through.]

[And so he's back where it all began, flat on his back while she hovers over him -- though this time it's with her knees clamped tightly around his hips to pin him in place so he can't get away or disappear again, her own hands finding his cheeks in a mirror of his own.

It's impossible to put into words just how light her chest feels like this (even if her knees smart from hitting the ground), so she doesn't even try. She just closes the distance between them for a deep, heartfelt kiss right in the middle of the street. She only pulls back long enough to ask a gentle,] You okay?

[His ribs hurt, along with his butt and back, but all of that feels inconsequential as he continues to look up at Kotone and her bright smile. Something bright and warm beats in his chest, knowing that he was able to make her this happy just by returning. He really doesn't care that he's lying in the middle of the street, he doesn't care who sees them, brushing one stray strand of hair from her face before he easily returns her kiss. It's long, although not inappropriate, mostly wanting to express everything he's feeling through this.]

I'm okay. [There's memories to maybe work through later. The memories of the other Scott that thinks everyone hates him because he killed Charles Xavier. Guess he finally figured out the Scott that is responsible for the crime on his parchment, perhaps the Scott from Quentin's timeline.

It's weird, that he was him for a moment. He... he didn't know what he'd be like, but honestly, a lot of the things he felt, Scott can relate to. But those are things he packs away for now, concentrating on Kotone and softly asking his next question.]

Are you okay? [His eyes always hidden, but there's that familiar concern on him, lightly prying because he knows he gave her a scare.]

Mmhm.

[She tilts her head into his hand, closing her eyes against the familiar weight. It really is him. He's really here, with her, right now; not gone, not replaced, but warm and solid. Her bright, genuine smile fades just a touch, because they'd promised to tell each other the truth. So...]

Now that you're with me, I'm okay.

[Her fingertips gently trace beneath his glasses, follow the arc of his lips, before she finally forces herself to draw back so they can get up out of the street. She'll even offer him a hand!]

The other Scott was nice, but he wasn't you.

[It really isn't the fault of that other Scott that he didn't notice the moment when that smile on Kotone became forced. He's had months to be around her, days spent getting to know the girl behind that sunny façade. Not that it's fake, but she certainly hides a lot behind her smile and Scott traces one gentle thumb against the corner of her mouth with appreciation and understanding.

She really was upset.]

I'll always come back to you.

[He really can't promise such a thing, but Scott says it anyway. Maybe he just wants to believe it or maybe if he says it out loud, it'll happen. It's okay to say stuff like this, right?

But as Kotone helps him up, Scott squeezes the hand that's still in his grasp, wordlessly offering his support. He'll hold onto her for as long as she wants.]

Well, duh. [He lightly jokes, trying to add some levity to the situation.] No one's like me, not even me.

[They both know that's not a real promise, but the sentiment matters nonetheless. It brings another small, genuine smile to her face, the one that's tempered with the sadness of the inevitable, but there's no need to say it.

So even if he's the one making a joke for once, she leans up and kisses him again, taking those few long moments to linger there with her hand in his, cherishing this time they have together. She's terrified for him to leave or disappear, and -- it's a good reminder that the time they have is limited, and they have to make the most of it. She doesn't break the kiss for a long time, really wanting him to feel the depth of her emotion.

Once she does draw back, though, it's with usual mischievous smile -- like she's trying to put it behind her, too.]

I think he was jealous of you for having someone as cute as me as your girlfriend, [she teases, even though she's certain that can't be the reason. There has to be more to it. But it's easier to tease him!]

[While Kotone struggles with talking about her emotions, even to this day, there's no denying the very fact that she too still feel things deeply. She's never not been passionate, deeply loving and caring about everyone around her. Including-- especially him. It's fully felt with her actions, her lips against his, their hands still grasped together, and he also instinctively understands how scared she was. He won't force her to say it out loud, only wordlessly reassuring that he's here with her now.

He'll be more than happy to be her source of strength, whenever she needs it.

She's smiling once more at him and Scott returns her teasing grin with something that's similar, but there's that Scott Brand of genuine sincerity as he strokes her cheek once before letting go.]

He should be jealous. [He definitely was in some way. Although, more than anything, was that overwhelming loneliness that he wore like a second skin. Something he's felt before, but never to that degree. It's... honestly kind of hard dealing with that feeling, but he stops himself from talking about it now.]

Because I'm not sharing you. [Scott instead teases, voice light.] Besides, you definitely can't handle two Scott Summers.

[The world probably can't. Duh. That's why it keeps on glitching around with him.]

No?

[She can't help but laugh a little, in spite of all the emotion still lingering in the air between them. Maybe because of it. Even if it's not totally gone, her chest feels so much lighter than it had for the past hour. In any case, it's funny, because,] It sounds like something out of a movie! I could have a Scott on each arm.

[She giggles, not at all serious about it, and tugs his hand. They were headed toward the club building anyway, and right now, all she wants to do is hide away in the Sewing room with him where they won't be bothered. Maybe if she holds onto him tightly enough, he won't glitch away. She can only hope, anyway.]

What kind of movies do you watch??

[His face scrunches with exaggerated displeasure. He knows that she's only joking, so he's not actually upset, but it still doesn't stop Scott from making a face at the thought of sharing her with another him. Especially another him. Sorry other Scott!! ...Although, he hopes that things get better for him. Jean... Jean should eventually like him back, right?

That's what he keeps hearing about anyway.

But he curls his hand in hers, pushing away thoughts about his other self so that he can focus on the person that he cares most here. It didn't feel like he was gone at all, but he knows that it wasn't the same for her, so whatever activity or plan Kotone has in mind, he has no qualms about following her lead.

If she wants to hold hands for the rest of the day, remind her that he won't go away, then that's fine with him.]

[She giggles again at his face, because that exact look is the whole reason why she'd said it! It's funny to make him grimace like that! Though she does reach up with one hand to cup his cheek and pull him down for a quick apology kiss, at least.

In any case, she'll tug him into the sewing room. He can help her organize her threads and fabrics while staying close. Maybe if she doesn't take her eyes off him for more than a second, he won't disappear. Unlikely, but again, it's a nice thought to have. While she does eventually let go of his hand to instead get her inventory notebook, she has to glance up to ask,]

You're sure you're okay?

[Guess he has no choice but to forgive her after that little kiss. Just this once though!! (yeah right)

But as they enter the sewing room and Kotone starts working on inventory, Scott places one hand against hers to stop her little movements while the other pokes her right in the middle of her forehead. Hey, it's okay to slow down a bit, right? His eyes seemingly searches hers for a moment, before settling calmly on her face.]

I am. [He answers, without conflict. Sure, it's weird to suddenly glitch and all that, take those memories into him, but he wasn't the one that disappeared.] Are you sure that you're okay?

[That's what matters most to him. Always. And right now, it's just the two of them, with a low chance of anyone coming this way.]

me and all my other mes

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