[Yeah, she thought that would give him pause. Best to be truthful with Dazai, even if he doesn't want to believe it. Maybe especially so in that case, because he'd know if she were lying, she's certain of that.]
You decided you were my mentor. I started learning how to lie from you, you taught me how to make drinks at Bar Lupin -- I still work there sometimes, by the way -- and sometimes you'd just listen to me.
[Another shrug as she glances back to him, resigned little smile still curving her lips.] Sometimes that's all someone needs, is someone to listen.
(just a little pause there, it's totally a test before he waves a hand to explain so.)
It's definitely a good thing, it can save your life.
(your self-worth, your sense of everything-- all a little lie can wrap around and save. but, he's paying attention, the little smile... he did help her, didn't he? it warms his heart, as much as it confuses his head. he knows his mentoring is less than orthodox.)
I'm glad you have such affection for me! Some of my mentees definitely feel a little different! Well. Is that something you want me to keep doing?
[She just shrugs in the space of that little pause. Sometimes yeah, it's a good thing; it keeps people from asking too many questions, or it keeps them from worrying about her. She doesn't lie to Scott anymore, or Yosuke, or Yu -- there's a small handful of people she won't lie to, because it will make things worse. But her parchment in her pocket still condemns her to Duplicity, and it's likely not something that will change soon.]
You told me about some of your mentees. Akutagawa-kun and Atsushi-kun, wasn't it? I guess maybe you treated me a little differently.
[But she laughs as they round the corner into a small park, lit by the streetlights overhead, but otherwise quiet thanks to others being at the festival.]
Only if you want to! I dunno why you decided to start doing it in the first place, to be honest.
Oh, so you know! Atsushi-kun does not hate me, but Akutagawa-kun? Oooooof! Hate is not the word, but he is very intense!
(totally on him, and he knows it. the obsession akutagawa put on him, it's anger - purely so, a need to prove himself because dazai has shattered him. it's a good thing he's changed - he'll never be perfect, but he's in a constant state of attempting.)
I'll pick up where I left off-- where did I leave off?!
[Isn't he intense because of Dazai specifically?? She doesn't bother answering that part, just shaking her head at him, and picking a bench to sit on. The first time they'd really talked, they'd gone to a café. She has no idea where that café is in town anymore, but after that, they'd gone for a walk up near the mill. The quiet ambience of the park kind of reminds her of that.]
You'll figure it out!
[Once seated, she reaches into her skirt pocket and pulls out a well-worn notebook, offering it for him to read. Inside are her notes in the moment from weird happenings from the past year and a half. People's schedules, people she spent time with, observations she's made. Some useful, some not, like various favorite foods or places. The weird events in town are written down, too, each strange happenstance she experienced.
Dazai himself is referenced quite a few times in there (notably in a shakier hand "die first + Salvation" as a reference to the time she had to all but bring him back to life), as is Chuuya with references to wine and nail polish. Fyodor gets a passing mention, Gogol a bit more of one recently thanks to a certain snake goddess.
In all, it's the notebook of a girl who's keeping track of what's been happening at large in town, but is much more focused on what she can do for the people around her to make them even just a little happier. She'd like to tell herself she's not anxious for Dazai's approval, and really, anxious isn't the right word, but she'd be lying to herself if she said she wasn't hoping he'd at least be a little pleased with her work.]
(he takes the gesture as is, an invitation to speak freely, to find comfort. his ankle rests atop his knee once he does sit. limbs too long, so he's a little further away from her than he'd like, but comfort for both of them is important. the notebook is a little unexpected, but he takes it with both hands - he supposes that if she's allowing him to read it, he should give it a good skim. his eyebrows are furrowed through the entire time, so there's no telling what he found most interesting, if not for what he says.)
Oh? So you know the ins and outs of 'No Longer Human'?
(that what tells him he can trust her. if she knows how to heal him, and how to kill him, it means she has more than anyone else in here. but, well, another part is the mention of the Decay of Angels - fyodor and gogol. interesting, it means he can be a little more upfront.)
This is some good stuff! Can I keep it for a day? I'll return it to you tomorrow! Ah, a side note, seems like Nikolai Gogol has been rather busy in here. Well, not so fun fact! Fyodor won back home! It's totally the end of the world! We are all super duper screwed! Even back home, I am unsure whether Nikolai knows. It's best to confuse the living hell out of him! So, please, lie away, I remember everything from my last stay, as far as everyone is concerned! Ah, we are all so dead.
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expiationlogs2024-06-10 07:58 am
no subject
You decided you were my mentor. I started learning how to lie from you, you taught me how to make drinks at Bar Lupin -- I still work there sometimes, by the way -- and sometimes you'd just listen to me.
[Another shrug as she glances back to him, resigned little smile still curving her lips.] Sometimes that's all someone needs, is someone to listen.
no subject
(just a little pause there, it's totally a test before he waves a hand to explain so.)
It's definitely a good thing, it can save your life.
(your self-worth, your sense of everything-- all a little lie can wrap around and save. but, he's paying attention, the little smile... he did help her, didn't he? it warms his heart, as much as it confuses his head. he knows his mentoring is less than orthodox.)
I'm glad you have such affection for me! Some of my mentees definitely feel a little different! Well. Is that something you want me to keep doing?
no subject
You told me about some of your mentees. Akutagawa-kun and Atsushi-kun, wasn't it? I guess maybe you treated me a little differently.
[But she laughs as they round the corner into a small park, lit by the streetlights overhead, but otherwise quiet thanks to others being at the festival.]
Only if you want to! I dunno why you decided to start doing it in the first place, to be honest.
no subject
(totally on him, and he knows it. the obsession akutagawa put on him, it's anger - purely so, a need to prove himself because dazai has shattered him. it's a good thing he's changed - he'll never be perfect, but he's in a constant state of attempting.)
I'll pick up where I left off-- where did I leave off?!
no subject
You'll figure it out!
[Once seated, she reaches into her skirt pocket and pulls out a well-worn notebook, offering it for him to read. Inside are her notes in the moment from weird happenings from the past year and a half. People's schedules, people she spent time with, observations she's made. Some useful, some not, like various favorite foods or places. The weird events in town are written down, too, each strange happenstance she experienced.
Dazai himself is referenced quite a few times in there (notably in a shakier hand "die first + Salvation" as a reference to the time she had to all but bring him back to life), as is Chuuya with references to wine and nail polish. Fyodor gets a passing mention, Gogol a bit more of one recently thanks to a certain snake goddess.
In all, it's the notebook of a girl who's keeping track of what's been happening at large in town, but is much more focused on what she can do for the people around her to make them even just a little happier. She'd like to tell herself she's not anxious for Dazai's approval, and really, anxious isn't the right word, but she'd be lying to herself if she said she wasn't hoping he'd at least be a little pleased with her work.]
bsd spoilers
Oh? So you know the ins and outs of 'No Longer Human'?
(that what tells him he can trust her. if she knows how to heal him, and how to kill him, it means she has more than anyone else in here. but, well, another part is the mention of the Decay of Angels - fyodor and gogol. interesting, it means he can be a little more upfront.)
This is some good stuff! Can I keep it for a day? I'll return it to you tomorrow! Ah, a side note, seems like Nikolai Gogol has been rather busy in here. Well, not so fun fact! Fyodor won back home! It's totally the end of the world! We are all super duper screwed! Even back home, I am unsure whether Nikolai knows. It's best to confuse the living hell out of him! So, please, lie away, I remember everything from my last stay, as far as everyone is concerned! Ah, we are all so dead.