Jim almost laughs, surprised, when Sandry catches him out, but he has enough wherewithal to hold it in - it's not that he's laughing at her so much at himself, for being so obviously transparent. He shakes his head, raising a hand peaceably as Sandry lists her credentials - yeah, he was right, none of these kids were normal, it seemed. "I'm sorry, I meant no offense. I didn't meant to imply that you would."
"Some things aren't meant for anyone's ears." Jim admits, the shadow of a helluva lot of something crossing over his expression; he doesn't try to hide it this time, but hopefully it at least presses home the point that he's serious. "Doesn't matter how old you are, it doesn't make it better."
When Bones, his friend and now CMO, read his medical records (the full medical records and not just the declassified portion), the man had been a wreck. Jim had felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin with the looks he kept giving him. He knows the holos haunt Bones, and why wouldn't they? The kind of shit that had to happen for a 15-year-old kid to get a full osteogenic regeneration? Horror show, especially for a parent.
Sandry isn't convinced he's not just making excuses for her sake, but she'll let it slide if he is. There's not much purpose in belaboring the point with the answer he gave her just now, she won't get anything more out of him. Still, they are supposed to.
"You can't think of anything? Not one little thing? Not even something like, 'oh I didn't know I was supposed to peel a fruit before eating it'? It doesn't have to be your deepest darkest secret, after all."
Sandry has thought of an important secret that she's going to share, but her point stands.
"I'm allergic to most fruit," Jim admits, albeit sheepishly. That's definitely not the point, Jim, but it is kind of ironic. "The instructions said 'a secret you've never said out loud'. Seriously, I don't...have many of those."
To be fair, it is true. There's the secrets he keeps, and the rest of it - there's not much point. Most of Jim's life is up for public consumption; the circumstances of his birth, his family life, his career at Starfleet and all it's entailed. The parts that aren't? He's probably drunkenly rambled them to Bones at one point or another. "...I wasn't sure I could graduate from the Academy?"
His tablet flashes a big red X on the screen - clearly, that didn't cut it.
Sandry gives Jim a disbelieving look. "You didn't try very hard."
But she'll let him off the hook on this one. Instead it is her turn. Sandry gives a small sigh. "I don't think the way my parents lived was right. They frivolously spent the money they earned from their lands on travel and adventure rather than take their responsibility to their land seriously."
A green checkmark flashes on Sandry's tablet and she gives a slightly sad smile. "I still loved them very much though."
"Hey! I am trying." There's no right way to argue with a teenager and not sound like an idiot. Believe him, he knows, he's been through this with Peter already. For all Jim purports to be an adult, however, he's not yet out of his twenties, and can, occasionally, be goaded appropriately.
"I'm sorry," A frown touches the corners of his mouth, but he nods in acknowledgement. "Of course. People make bad choices, but you love them anyway."
"My mom - I still love her, too." An offering, even though it doesn't light his tablet up green. Nothing he hasn't been over before, unfortunately. "Despite her choice to leave, uh, me and my brother."
It's true, there really is nothing quite so humbling and frustrating as arguing with a teenager. But even though his tablet doesn't acknowledge his admittance (for whatever reason), it shows Sandry that he is at least engaging with her, not just writing her off as a silly kid. She'll forgive him for not (in her opinion) trying very hard at the challenge.
She also doesn't know whether he means leaving in the literal sense or a more euphemistic "leaving" like in her situation. It's not appropriate to ask, either, so she goes with a more generic response. "It's hard when the people we love aren't in our lives anymore, isn't it? I'm very fortunate to have found a new family I love; I hope you've found new loved ones in your life as well."
Lark, Daja, Tris, Briar, Uncle Vedris... even Rosethorn and Niko. She loves them all so dearly, her life has been so full since she arrived in Emelan in her mourning clothes.
Jim knows exactly why his tablet isn't lighting up, because this Tower wants something from him. Something he's never said to anybody else, the things he dare not disturb. This place - not just the Tower, but hell, Aldrip - is geared towards rattling the bars of the cages they construct for themselves.
He really does mean leaving - going off planet, leaving them in the care of their shitty stepfather. Choosing her career over her family, because she couldn't bear the reminder of her lost husband - Jim wishes he could have held onto the anger he used to have about it, because now he's just tired. He hasn't seen his mother in years, though they've started calling each other more, since he joined Starfleet. He has no idea where his brother is, though, hasn't spoken to Sam since the day his older brother ran away - since Jim passed him on the road in a stolen car, fourteen and fearless and so hurt.
"I'm glad to hear that. Yeah, I would say that I have." His smile returns, a ghost of a thing upon his lips, thinking of his crew. "I hope we're able to find our way back to them from this place, someday."
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"Some things aren't meant for anyone's ears." Jim admits, the shadow of a helluva lot of something crossing over his expression; he doesn't try to hide it this time, but hopefully it at least presses home the point that he's serious. "Doesn't matter how old you are, it doesn't make it better."
When Bones, his friend and now CMO, read his medical records (the full medical records and not just the declassified portion), the man had been a wreck. Jim had felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin with the looks he kept giving him. He knows the holos haunt Bones, and why wouldn't they? The kind of shit that had to happen for a 15-year-old kid to get a full osteogenic regeneration? Horror show, especially for a parent.
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"You can't think of anything? Not one little thing? Not even something like, 'oh I didn't know I was supposed to peel a fruit before eating it'? It doesn't have to be your deepest darkest secret, after all."
Sandry has thought of an important secret that she's going to share, but her point stands.
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To be fair, it is true. There's the secrets he keeps, and the rest of it - there's not much point. Most of Jim's life is up for public consumption; the circumstances of his birth, his family life, his career at Starfleet and all it's entailed. The parts that aren't? He's probably drunkenly rambled them to Bones at one point or another. "...I wasn't sure I could graduate from the Academy?"
His tablet flashes a big red X on the screen - clearly, that didn't cut it.
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But she'll let him off the hook on this one. Instead it is her turn. Sandry gives a small sigh. "I don't think the way my parents lived was right. They frivolously spent the money they earned from their lands on travel and adventure rather than take their responsibility to their land seriously."
A green checkmark flashes on Sandry's tablet and she gives a slightly sad smile. "I still loved them very much though."
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"I'm sorry," A frown touches the corners of his mouth, but he nods in acknowledgement. "Of course. People make bad choices, but you love them anyway."
"My mom - I still love her, too." An offering, even though it doesn't light his tablet up green. Nothing he hasn't been over before, unfortunately. "Despite her choice to leave, uh, me and my brother."
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She also doesn't know whether he means leaving in the literal sense or a more euphemistic "leaving" like in her situation. It's not appropriate to ask, either, so she goes with a more generic response. "It's hard when the people we love aren't in our lives anymore, isn't it? I'm very fortunate to have found a new family I love; I hope you've found new loved ones in your life as well."
Lark, Daja, Tris, Briar, Uncle Vedris... even Rosethorn and Niko. She loves them all so dearly, her life has been so full since she arrived in Emelan in her mourning clothes.
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He really does mean leaving - going off planet, leaving them in the care of their shitty stepfather. Choosing her career over her family, because she couldn't bear the reminder of her lost husband - Jim wishes he could have held onto the anger he used to have about it, because now he's just tired. He hasn't seen his mother in years, though they've started calling each other more, since he joined Starfleet. He has no idea where his brother is, though, hasn't spoken to Sam since the day his older brother ran away - since Jim passed him on the road in a stolen car, fourteen and fearless and so hurt.
"I'm glad to hear that. Yeah, I would say that I have." His smile returns, a ghost of a thing upon his lips, thinking of his crew. "I hope we're able to find our way back to them from this place, someday."