𝙅𝙞𝙣𝙭 💣/ 𝓹𝓸𝔀𝓭𝓮𝓻 🌸 | ❝ashnikko❞ (
opheliac) wrote in
expiationlogs2023-08-09 09:20 pm
Entry tags:
★ AUG. (CATCH ALL); i made knives outta broken ribs. i will be the one to eliminate you
Who: jinx + anyone that wants to do one-on-one stuff with her.
Where: aldrip, possibly rumpitur, and pessiria forest
What: stuff that happens this month.
Warnings: jinx suffers from mental illness. such as the following - schizophrenia, hallucinations, PTSD, & separation anxiety. these may or may not happen in this log. BIO, PERMISSIONS + OPT-OUT: here.

➤ [ CLOSED ] 💣 YOUR SILENCE IS THE LOUDEST SOUND
➤ [ — ]
➤ [ — ]
Where: aldrip, possibly rumpitur, and pessiria forest
What: stuff that happens this month.
Warnings: jinx suffers from mental illness. such as the following - schizophrenia, hallucinations, PTSD, & separation anxiety. these may or may not happen in this log. BIO, PERMISSIONS + OPT-OUT: here.

TOP LEVEL DIRECTORY
➤ [ SEMI-CLOSED ] 💣 GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT➤ [ CLOSED ] 💣 YOUR SILENCE IS THE LOUDEST SOUND
➤ [ — ]
➤ [ — ]

(SEMI-CLOSED); GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT —; FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE.
❝& birds were singing to calm us down.❞
• cw: hallucinations, paranoia & voices
( OOC: so anyway. what's actually happening is jinx is lying on the ground and somehow wrapped herself in her own braids when she tripped. and now she is thrusting around and hyperventilating. fun. but yes this prompt is semi-closed, meaning jinx + whoever replies to this first. i'm also open to do a 3 way thread/tag too if one extra person wants to join in on this. just let me know over @ bunchew on discord or
no subject
But the voices go silent before he can find the culprit, leaving him even more frustrated than he was at the start of this whole ordeal. He's almost ready to turn around and go back to the outskirts where he's made his temporary base of operations (which is a fancy way of saying "sleeping on the ground"), when he hears a scream ─ one that feels decidedly more real, more raw than anything that was going on inside his head before. Ragna doesn't even bother to stop and consider whether it really is who he thinks it is, and before he even knows it, he's already running towards the source of the cry. It doesn't take long for him to arrive at the scene and find... Jinx? Lying on the ground? A quick scan of the area tells him there's no immediate danger around, so whatever the hell is going on with her, it doesn't look like she was attacked by a monster, at least. ]
Smurfette...?
[ Forget dumb nicknames and wisecracks; it's clear this isn't the time for this kind of shit. Ragna kneels down next to the girl, catching and holding her wrists in his hands to try and keep her from trashing around (she's the biggest danger to herself like this, after all). If worst comes to worst, he can always knock her out and take her somewhere safe, but for now, he'd rather try and get through to her. ]
Jinx! Hey, look at me!
no subject
her face is wet from her shimmer tears and her breathing (still frantic) is now a little more in control. in panic mode still, she zips her gaze to their surroundings -- everything returning to its normal atmosphere with no questionable sounds beyond the village's usual night. jinx looks up to him again, relieved to see him, but still a little unsure if he is the real deal. )
—! ... Ragna?
( his name squeezes a little meekly; her throat somewhat hoarse from the screaming just seconds ago. )
no subject
Yeah, it's me.
[ He bites his lip, unsure what else he should say. It's clear as a day Jinx is distressed, but having no clue what caused it, his options of approaching the subject are limited at best. Watching her eyes dart all around like that, however, gives him some vague idea of what might be the issue. ]
There's no one else here. You're fine.
[ That's an exaggeration to be sure, since it's quite obvious she's anything but okay... but how else is he supposed to get her to calm down? All he can think of is to just reassure her that she's safe now, and whatever it was that caused her to freak out ─ whether it was the voices like the ones he heard, or a nightmare, or whatever ─ isn't going to harm her now. ]
no subject
But that... ( she pauses and gazes up to him again, her eyes large and doe-like in which is such a contrast from how she would act and appear to be. it seems there's another side of jinx that not many newcomers realize. jinx shakes her head, trying to get a grip of the real reality and focus on her breathing for starters. )
What are you doing out here?
no subject
I─
[ Shit. What does he say to that? He doesn't want to talk about the voices that led him here; that is way too personal to bring up, and he sincerely hopes he drops dead long before the day when he's forced to talk about himself or his past comes. At the same time, he doesn't have it in him to just tell her it's none of her business like he normally would ─ not when she looks so... uncharacteristically vulnerable.
Oh, to hell with it ─ he might as well go with the truth, if as vaguely as he can. It's not like he's gonna come up with anything better anytime soon. ]
... I heard something... someone who can't be here.
[ Ragna is painfully aware he's not just answering her question, but also trying to convince himself that's the case ─ it's just impossible for anyone from his world to end up here. Not even gods can intervene with that place now, after all, so it should be safe from this bullcrap...
The man shakes his head, pushing that thought to the back of his mind. His worries can wait until Jinx is back on her feet. ]
no subject
( her tone still quiet as a mouse as she takes one more look around for good measure. it does seem like they are alone (for now) and there are no other noise beyond themselves and nature. inhaling a quiet breath, jinx gathers up to her feet then straightening out her braids -- undoing any twists and knots from when she was swirling around in. that doe-like and somewhat child feature she had seconds before vanishes when her eyes shift up to him now. it curls distant, dark, and a little empty too. )
Forget what you saw here.
( she commands him (or attempts to) then side-steps to the right to move around him. jinx paces back to the direction of the forest, hoping this will be it of their conversation. if their partnership is meant to stay in tact, she needs to continue to hold authority and not show signs of any vulnerable. although, it might be too late for that. )
no subject
Not so fast, princess.
[ Seems like all she's earned herself with that haughty attitude is a new nickname, because Ragna clearly has no intention of obeying her orders. ]
I'm all for going our separate ways and forgetting this ever happened, [ because he's not entirely happy with how he's handling this situation, either, ] but not before I know─
[ that you're okay, is right there at the tip of his tongue but he stops himself at the last second. What is he even doing, getting involved in someone else's crap? Even this whole "partnership" thing is nothing more than them agreeing to use each other for their respective goals until they find a way out of here. And once they do, none of what happens here will have mattered anyway─
Realizing he still hasn't finished the sentence, Ragna finally manages to spit out the next best thing that comes to mind. ]
... what the hell was all that about, anyway?!
cw: voices.
Let go of me! It's none of your business!!
( and right as she says this, jinx's attention darts off to the right of her. to ragna, there's nothing there but the open area -- but she's behaving as if there is someone beside her. )
And you're not helping! Stay out of it...!
( just... who is she talking to? )
no subject
But he can't.
Jinx's expression from before is still on his mind, and while it's entirely possible he's simply overthinking it, her sudden change of attitude feels like she's trying to overcompensate for that earlier slip-up. How many times ─ hundreds, thousands? ─ has he missed a cry for help disguised as cruelty, violence and sheer insanity? The answer is too many, and even if he's completely off the mark this time, he can't risk making the same mistake again.
Easier said than done, though. Having absolutely no clue what's gotten into the girl (or why she's screaming at the air, for that matter), it's hard for him to figure what to do next, and for a brief moment, he simply stands there in silence. ]
... There's no one here.
[ He repeats, though this time his voice is flat, like he's simply stating a fact rather than trying to sound reassuring. But for what it's worth, he's trying a different approach and not asking about what happened anymore, since that was obviously going nowhere. ]
no subject
Okay, so... whaddya want from me?
( as in, what is he expecting her to say or do. brushing it off didn't seem to work the first time, and she rather not go in too deep in what's going on with her. maybe she can come up with some light truth without the nitty gritty details. )
no subject
... Fuck if I know. Not, uh, this?
[ That's a very helpful hint, huh. His request sounds so silly now that he's said it out loud, even he can't help but wince a little. The man waves his hand dismissively, almost as if telling her to disregard that comment as he starts over. ]
If you want someone to pretend something never happened, it'd help if you didn't do a complete 180 on them, y'know? This shit makes it kinda hard to ignore.
[ Sure, a part of him is aware that if he were in her shoes, he would absolutely storm off in a huff with zero explanation himself, so it might be hypocritical of him to say it... But he's always been better at preaching the right things instead of doing them, and it looks like it's not changing anytime soon. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
🎀
(frozen comment) no subject
Continuation Thread
Mmmm, indeed, and it's important to forge relationships that could be beneficial to the cause, even if it has changed for this place. Best to explore every nook and cranny.
[He was well aware that she had met someone, and that she was protecting this someone's identity. Or perhaps she didn't know and this someone had been met on the night in the casino where she had been very, very inebriated. Her reaction still lead him to believe she knew.
He kept walking as if he hadn't noticed her lagging or fussing with her hickey. He instead lifted a hand to push aside low hanging foliage then paused when she wasn't behind him to sneak under it same as him.]
Seducing future followers isn't generally your style, Jinx. Are you exploring a new avenue of approach?
no subject
( his daughter didn't notice him stopping and before she knows it, jinx is side by side with him again. and what he says next has her want to hide underneath her long locks of her hair and hope to just... disappear out of thin air. with wide eyed, she sputters -- her tongue stumbling over a chaotic mess of mixed up words. )
I... wha... NO! — I'm not... doing that!!
( with her face burning like the sun above them, jinx exclaims out a groan and hurries off in her footing. this is the most embarrassing conversation she ever had in her life! )
no subject
For once in a very long time, Jinx's reaction earned a low chuckle out of him. It didn't last long before he was following in her hurried wake. They had a few turns to make and then they would be back at the camp that Rumpitur had set up for them to stay in.]
If it is a random and they took advantage of you, I am not above removing fingers on your behalf.
no subject
He didn't take advantage of me! — Like I'd let any scumbag do that to me. I can handle myself, y'know...!
( there's a three second delay when her mind catches up to what she just admitted without thinking. and she stands there, stone cold dumbfounded. shit. )
I-I mean... hypothetically speaking!! I wouldn't let anyone pull a fast one on me when, hello? I have shimmer.
no subject
And because you do have shimmer, it seems to be mutual. Let us be mindful of bug bites in the future then.
[It wasn't the worst attraction, though he considered it inconvenient and convenient at the same time. If this went anywhere, the boy was going to be insufferable and Jinx tended to attach hard to people. Ugh, children growing up was never easy.]
no subject
sure, she misses the deadly games they use to play, but... toying with him without waving her guns around had been a little fun too. as a matter of fact, just... being around him somewhat normally has been way more pleasant that she had originally thought. shaking her head to snap her out of doubts and "what ifs", jinx hurries back to catch up with her father -- still in that light huff attitude. )
W-Well, hypothetically speaking again — ( why yes, she is going to keep phrasing it this way. it doesn't count as reality if she says "hypothetically speaking". ) — what if there's somethin' that's keeping me and this ( she makes air quotes with her fingers. ) "person" you're makin' up from going head to head? A thing that can't be broken no matter what.
And it's not just any ol' handshake truce la-de-da thing either. We spit in our hands and shook on it. That's like... WAY more serious. Shimmer or not, nothing's gonna happen. Nothing will happen.
no subject
Of course, the more that he thought of this potential little tryst, the more he expected it to be short-lived. Physical on the boy's part with enough emotional to get what he wanted, and for Jinx, she wanted it all. Loneliness provided particular cravings.]
You think you can have a truce that lasts? [Silco shifted his gaze to watch her out of the corner of his eye.] We've been here less than a month, and this sort of interaction is happening? It's a suspiciously short amount of time, given the state he left you in when I found you on the bridge.
[He was a naturally suspicious person of course. He also had been a teenage boy before, and he knew for a fact that they had two modes and one mode was usually seeking for the other. Why not? It was fun; it was exciting; it was an escape from the desperation even for a few moments.]
Guard your heart, Jinx. Keep whatever it is physical and be prepared to cut him off.
no subject
and as silco elaborates his point further, her pace decreases and she falls behind for the second time. is it possible that this whole truce between them was only a ploy somehow? he... was the one who came up with the idea and not her. but that was before he knew about the gemstone. and he seemed he truly cared how she was faring when it came with shimmer being in her bloodstream. and when she asked why he cared in the first place, he gave her this... backwards explanation that shimmer screws everyone up no matter who you are. but what about when he saved her? that tree branch snapped into two when those plant tentacle things were hot on her heels. jinx figured she was a goner but then he flew right on by and caught her.
that must had meant something... although. she did gloat about having the gemstone at him several moments prior. a thought did flicker back then that maybe he was more concern about the stone's well-being than her, but she tossed that away. and now that question is being brought back to life now that silco's giving his thoughts on the matter. and that night, well, it's obvious the two of them were stupidly intoxicated. jinx figured that, but the morning after is what sticks out to her the most. he could had kicked her out of bed, tell her to beat it or scram, or show disgust. but... he was surprisingly a gentleman about the whole ordeal (despite every little bit inside of her screamed, "get out of there!"). ekko let her freshen up, he helped her with her hair, they had breakfast together, and then she left. they haven't seen or spoken since. it wasn't anything extraordinary, but the hospitality was something she rarely experienced and it was... really nice. jinx even thought about paying him a visit again because it was so nice. )
( — but now, what if there's a secret motive to that kindness? when she woke up in the middle of the night and found herself in his arms, what if that was just some bizarre tactic or he was just so wasted that it didn't mean anything? but that look... that look he gave her on the bridge.
....
gripping onto herself and biting her lower lip, his daughter ducks her head low and picks up her pace again -- this time not rebelling. maybe he's right. maybe it's better to keep him at arm's length and stop analyzing things with her heart and analyze with her brain instead. )
... Okay.
( she says, voice so hushed that one might need to strain themselves to hear it. )
cw: threat of violence
And if the boy was being truthful about the truce with Jinx, it certainly didn't apply to Silco. He had agreed to nothing, and he would destroy that boy if he decided that it was a necessary measure. After all, being close to Jinx did technically put the boy within his own reach, and never let it be said that he wouldn't utilize a resource if it came within his range.
He stopped and turned to allow his daughter opportunity to catch up after she had fallen behind again. He didn't move when she came up beside him but instead reached out to nudge her chin up lightly with a finger.]
Do what you feel you want to and must, just be careful. This might not be the Undercity, but everyone has conflicting motives. Be safe about it.
[And then he produced a razor smile, the kind that anyone who saw it knew that there was imminent danger on the horizon.]
And if this imaginary boy of yours hurts you, I will destroy everything he is.
cw: still threat of violence
she feels thus far, she is being safe about it. only three people (excluding ekko and vi for right now because... it's complicated) are inching a little closer to her than most and for that, jinx thinks that's pretty darn good all considered. she's not opening to everyone with wide arms and all smiles. that's just plain silly to do. but... it's comforting to know that he will harm others for her if she is unable to. if her heart swells too much (which it totally won't, she'll make sure of that) he will come and shield her from all the hurt. so with that, jinx gently smiles back to him -- showing her gratitude. after all, that firelight does have wings. she can pluck the right one and he can pluck the left one. )
no subject
He had thought he had her best interests at heart, especially given the world that they came from where harm was around every corner. She had been through a lot in the weeks leading up to his death as well, so perhaps he was a touch on the overt protective side. She had almost died after all; it was a fact that he couldn't shake and a reality he faced each time he looked into her purple gaze.
Shimmer had saved her life with the doctor's interventions. He would be damned if he would risk losing her again.
He gestured with his chin to continue on their path back to camp and where the diplomatic actions were to take place. He turned to walk, the path narrowing enough that they had to go single file as they cut between some large trees.]
cw: slight voices
whether they will come across those plant monsters or not is up in the air, but she isn't going to relax just yet until they catch up to the others. or they make it out of the forest before them. there's a sudden head twitch she makes (that silco had probably seen many times before) as she shut her eyes very briefly to take in whatever she's receiving. )
... I am listenin'. Maybe pipe down a lil' and I can hear things better.
( she murmurs out in slight irritation as she examines each little peek around of the trees. )
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
🎀 soonish?
Done like dinner