[He pushes back the initial shock of Altius actually opening up, mouth clamping shut so he can listen to him. Waiting, watching his reactions, how the older man actually seems to tremble from remembering all this. Recalling memories that have been pushed to the back of your mind isn't easy. He should know.
So, is that what this is all about? Ferran took the bullet that was meant for him? He can see why he'd be burdened with a large amount of guilt over that, but what does that have to do with 'everything was a lie.' Something isn't adding up, but Scott pushes that feeling away for the time being. It's clear that Altius is still genuinely upset about this.]
...He protected you from the bullet? [The question's asked softly.]
[...So a little more than just protecting. Intentionally throwing himself in danger-- sacrificing himself, ultimately, so that Altius wouldn't get hurt. He doesn't really fully blame Ferran; it's probably something he'd do for someone that he cares about. He'd probably do the same for Altius honestly.]
He wanted to protect someone that's important to him. I get it.
[He's not worth that: the injuries that could have very well killed his ward if they was a few inches in some other direction. Ferran even knew he could heal himself, and yet he deliberately put himself there. So, in his impaired state of mind, he must have been desperate to remind the young man of who exactly he was.
...Apparently Ferran thought it was worth it. You can't decide that for others, Altius.
[Even harder to change their minds. He should know. No matter how much Kotone thinks that he shouldn't sacrifice himself for her, he will. Without question. Granted, he's trying to avoid sacrificing in general on both their ends, because he's trying to make a point to her, but no matter how 'doomed' someone maybe be or whatever else...
And in all honesty, he could probably decide for Ferran, order him to never do such a thing again, reduce him to nothing more than a puppet meant to take the power from his friends, as Zekarion had originally planned.
Somehow the idea feels even worse than what his ward did on his own. He lets out an vocal, aggravated exhale as he tries to cast those feelings off.]
[Has he heard Altius growl like that before? Something so emotional and visceral that almost doesn't suit the businessman. Almost is the keyword though, because... they're all emotional assholes in the end, huh? It also makes him remember their first ever encounter here... when the older man was being blunt and a bit sketchy. It feels like ages ago, but Scott really hasn't forgotten that.]
Just as you've refused to leave me be, [he replies, far from pleased to agree.
He's reached the end of that train of thought, unsure if there was ultimately any point to it. He's too tired now to come up with anything else or to argue further in any real way, hand still resting over his face like he simply doesn't have the energy to remove it.
But he will make Ferran listen, whenever he returns. He won't allow a repeat of that.
(As long as he gets back in time. If he can only trust what all the others have said about their return...)]
[He's not going to deny it. How helpful this whole conversation has been he doesn't know, but Scott's still going to stubbornly sit by his side for a while. Maybe not pester him too much, since Altius really looks exhausted, but juts making sure that the older man knows that there's someone that cares about him here too, even if he doesn't want it.]
[It wouldn't last, if he ever really knew the reason behind Altius's words for his ward.
That much he's sure of. As stubborn as Scott is at this moment, he's more dedicated to supporting others, to doing the right thing, than he ever would be to Altius. Even if he's still young and working through what it means to lead and to fight for what he believes in, he's a pillar in his own right. Unlike Ferran, he wouldn't break under the weight of the man's lies and then beg for more.
Zekarion doesn't take it as a comfort, exactly, but the thought puts something over the raw edges. It reminds him that he's right in this—that anyone would be fool to reach out to someone who's done what he's done, that the only reason Scott has stayed by him is because he's orchestrated that, deliberately worked to paint himself in a sympathetic light.
It's enough to let the unpleasant throb of guilt ebb away, strangely, and fatigue sweeps into its place to start pulling him away to rest, his breaths growing more quiet. Or perhaps he's just that ill. He doesn't have many more thoughts to spare on it.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
expiationmods) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
expiationlogs2025-05-13 12:07 pm
no subject
So, is that what this is all about? Ferran took the bullet that was meant for him? He can see why he'd be burdened with a large amount of guilt over that, but what does that have to do with 'everything was a lie.' Something isn't adding up, but Scott pushes that feeling away for the time being. It's clear that Altius is still genuinely upset about this.]
...He protected you from the bullet? [The question's asked softly.]
no subject
[His tone is bitter; he doesn't try to imply anything other than the fact that he absolutely detests that.]
He should have known better...
[He's not worth it. Ferran was well aware of that, and yet—]
no subject
He wanted to protect someone that's important to him. I get it.
no subject
It's not worth it.
[He's not worth that: the injuries that could have very well killed his ward if they was a few inches in some other direction. Ferran even knew he could heal himself, and yet he deliberately put himself there. So, in his impaired state of mind, he must have been desperate to remind the young man of who exactly he was.
Why does it still bother him...]
no subject
[Even harder to change their minds. He should know. No matter how much Kotone thinks that he shouldn't sacrifice himself for her, he will. Without question. Granted, he's trying to avoid sacrificing in general on both their ends, because he's trying to make a point to her, but no matter how 'doomed' someone maybe be or whatever else...
Sometimes it doesn't matter.]
no subject
And in all honesty, he could probably decide for Ferran, order him to never do such a thing again, reduce him to nothing more than a puppet meant to take the power from his friends, as Zekarion had originally planned.
Somehow the idea feels even worse than what his ward did on his own. He lets out an vocal, aggravated exhale as he tries to cast those feelings off.]
no subject
[Has he heard Altius growl like that before? Something so emotional and visceral that almost doesn't suit the businessman. Almost is the keyword though, because... they're all emotional assholes in the end, huh? It also makes him remember their first ever encounter here... when the older man was being blunt and a bit sketchy. It feels like ages ago, but Scott really hasn't forgotten that.]
Speaking as a stubborn ass teenager like Ferran.
no subject
He's reached the end of that train of thought, unsure if there was ultimately any point to it. He's too tired now to come up with anything else or to argue further in any real way, hand still resting over his face like he simply doesn't have the energy to remove it.
But he will make Ferran listen, whenever he returns. He won't allow a repeat of that.
(As long as he gets back in time. If he can only trust what all the others have said about their return...)]
no subject
[He's not going to deny it. How helpful this whole conversation has been he doesn't know, but Scott's still going to stubbornly sit by his side for a while. Maybe not pester him too much, since Altius really looks exhausted, but juts making sure that the older man knows that there's someone that cares about him here too, even if he doesn't want it.]
no subject
That much he's sure of. As stubborn as Scott is at this moment, he's more dedicated to supporting others, to doing the right thing, than he ever would be to Altius. Even if he's still young and working through what it means to lead and to fight for what he believes in, he's a pillar in his own right. Unlike Ferran, he wouldn't break under the weight of the man's lies and then beg for more.
Zekarion doesn't take it as a comfort, exactly, but the thought puts something over the raw edges. It reminds him that he's right in this—that anyone would be fool to reach out to someone who's done what he's done, that the only reason Scott has stayed by him is because he's orchestrated that, deliberately worked to paint himself in a sympathetic light.
It's enough to let the unpleasant throb of guilt ebb away, strangely, and fatigue sweeps into its place to start pulling him away to rest, his breaths growing more quiet. Or perhaps he's just that ill. He doesn't have many more thoughts to spare on it.]