[Kurt does feel some relief wash over him as Scott explains, because it really doesn't feel nearly as bad as what he got stuck with. But he also feels confused at the same time, because if it's not so bad, what's keeping Scott from talking about it like this?]
Oh. Well, that doesn't sound so bad. It's just talking, right? [He offers a shrug of his shoulders. He is also reminded of Kotone's recent post on the network about a similar subject.]
I mean, we can knock it out right now and get it over with! We can really talk it up, bro-style!
[If he repeats that to himself several times, it will definitely boost his confidence. That's how that works. Okay, not really, but at least talking to Kurt is something he's normally very comfortable with and that helps. Maybe he doesn't tell every little detail to his best friend, but he's definitely someone that he confides in more than others.
It's just getting that first hurdle. Trying not to imagine Kurt hating him after he gets this stuff off his chest. Because it would hurt, a lot. Technically, he doesn't have to talk about his actual 'crime' itself, but...
Maybe he shouldn't keep it from him anyway. He can trust Kurt, he knows that.]
Thanks man. [He almost smiles.] Just uh, do me a solid and promise not to freak out, okay?
[Kurt looks on, supportive. He doesn't really get why Scott feels the need to ask this. He knows him and trusts him. He can't imagine any version of him doing anything freak-out worthy! His eyebrow raises slightly, and he smiles as he assures Scott.]
Of course! I don't get what the big dealio is, but you've got my word. What's up?
[Okay... guess he really has no excuse now, right? Just say it out loud. He can do it. It'll be super easy. Yeah. There's still a moment when he pauses, breathes in again, and starts over, but after a large exhale, he finally gets those words forming at the base of his throat and--]
On my parchment it says I killed Charles Xavier.
[He almost says it in a rush, words sticking together, but probably clear enough to decipher. Scott just stands there awkwardly for a moment, maybe a little nervous, anxious and waiting, as he forces himself to look at Kurt.]
[Kurt braced himself for whatever Scott was building up to saying. But when he hears him declare his crime, he feels shocked - and largely baffled. It's a concept he can't even conceive.]
What?! You- but- why? There's no way that's true. Talk about a made-up crime!
[Kurt seems convinced, quickly nodding.]
Maybe it's a typo. Like it's supposed to say that you're really killing it with the Professor!
[Kurt's in disbelief. It makes sense. Scott knows that he probably should feel glad that his friend is having difficulty believing in something like this, like he'd trust him no matter what. It just also makes explaining all this really awkward. No, that would probably be the same regardless, huh? Just really awkward and rough no matter what.
He almost wants to smile at Kurt's joke, but it doesn't quite reach Scott this time.]
...Of course I haven't hurt the Professor back home. He's okay. [He wants to make that clear at least, that he actually hasn't done that crime back home. But that doesn't mean it never happened. In a universe. Quentin's world, apparently. Scott lets out a breath, trying to gather his words again.]
[Even though Kurt wasn't about to believe those apparent charges, he still feels relief when Scott confirms that it wasn't him who took out the Professor. Things may be dramatically different in Scott's timeline, but he's sure that Scott and Professor's relationship is still similar. In fact, he feels like it's probably a constant across all universes.
So the rest of what Scott has to say throws him off.]
What, for real? What makes you think that? Maybe it's like an evil version of you from some super bizarre universe... [He ponders.]
[Not that Scott fully slumps in front of Kurt, but he's definitely become quieter. Less confident, his hands placed back in his pockets as he continues to sort through all his feelings about this. Initially angry, defensive, not believing he could ever do such a thing. And he still doesn't think he will.
But it doesn't feel great to see that crime on his parchment. For over a year now. Jerry doesn't think the crime is wrong, but it has to be, right? It's not some omen for the future. It was all just one big mix up...]
...Quentin said that the Scott in his universe did kill the Professor.
[Quentin being from an evil mirror world would explain a lot of things-- okay no, the other mutant wasn't that bad. Far from it. Scott still misses him; he was the first mutant he met in this world.]
Apparently the Phoenix Force was involved, so I think that other Scott wasn't entirely in his right mind anyway.
[But what was it that Quentin said? That Phoenix can't completely force its host to do something that they would never do. She just amplifies everything to an extreme. He briefly 'glitched' into that Scott, but honestly, all of the stuff that happened around that time is just a big confusing mess. It's overwhelming to think about-- let alone something he doesn't want to think about to begin with, because Kotone...
He shakes his head.]
But... he still did it. [Can he blame the other Scott? Maybe.]
[At least there's some kind of explanation. This Phoenix Force concept has been a bit of a confusing one to wrap his head around, but he gets the gist of it.]
So the Phoenix messed with you- him. I guess that kinda makes it make more sense.
[He looks at Scott somewhat hopefully.]
But it's not the same if the Phoenix made you do it! You wouldn't do it while in your right mind, and that's what really matters.
Y-yeah, right. I wouldn't do something like that... and I think the other Scott would say the same. Just a lot of bad things happened at once.
[He might be trying to convince himself. Just a little. But it's not like he really wants to hurt the Professor at all, that much is true. If he keeps on telling himself that, then it should be okay. Yeah, no bad feelings for Phoenix or whatever to latch onto. He's not even sure if she exists in his universe anyway.
Yeah, maybe that would be for the best too. He'll just ignore the minor flare of heat in his chest, as if the small fragment of the fiery bird is insulted by his feelings.]
But y-yeah, that's the whole thing. [He tries for a somewhat encouraging smile.] Jerry wanted me to talk about that-- well, mostly, is it okay to hurt someone for the greater good.
[It's basically what Kurt wanted to hear, but he wishes Scott would say it with more conviction. As it is, some of the discomfort lingers with Kurt. He feels like he can't dismiss the thought entirely - but at least now they can move onto a different potentially uncomfortable subject!]
Right! Yeah. That. [He tries to perk up.]
So, uh, let's rap about that. I feel like it would depend on, like, how much hurt we're talking here. I mean, we end up hurting our enemies all the time for the sake of goodness! [It's easier to approach in the most black and white terms.]
He didn't specify on how much the 'hurt' is, although... he did mention it being people that I cared about. Like I guess I already technically hurt Apocalypse to stop him from taking over the world, but I don't think that's what he was talking about.
[And Jean is the one that really finished him off, something that he still thinks about to this day. She's the one that should have Phoenix, really, not him or any other Scott, but wishing that on her doesn't seem fair either. Unless she's... really okay handling such a powerful force. He doesn't want her to go through all that pain either.
Oh right... People you care about. That makes it more specific. And more difficult.
[His shoulders slump as he considers the idea.]
...It would really depend in that case. I don't know about causing any serious injuries. And I think there's some lines that shouldn't be crossed. After all, in a lot of those cases, there's another way.
[He offers a small smile at Kurt's answer. That's what he believes too-- what he wants to believe, at least. There's just a line you can't cross. Even... even if you're helping a lot more people.
....]
Y-yeah, there's always another way, right? We shouldn't have to hurt those close to us to get something done. That just means I haven't thought of the right solution yet.
[Right, they're the X-Men... they can always find a solution as long as they work together.]
That's kind of our job, right? Being a team, fighting off the bad guys. [...] You and the others back in your world managed all this time without crossing any lines, right?
[Dang, should he ask Kurt's Scott for advice? Not that he's here.]
[His smile does fade as the question is turned on him. Mostly, he finds himself thinking of the Mystique situation, how Rogue pushed her to her doom instead of trying to save her.]
...Pretty much. ...Except for... sometimes things got complicated.
[He rubs at his head uncertainly. He also thinks of the time when he saved Magneto's life, despite Logan trying to get him to cut him to cut him off from his lifeline.]
[Oh... that doesn't sound great, especially coming from Kurt. It almost deflates some of the spirit that Scott's been trying to hold, but he does his best to remain steady while prodding his friend a little more about these details. It's best if he learns, right? So he can be prepared on his end. Maybe avoid the same mistakes.]
[He lets out a sad sigh and looks down. He was hoping not to make things heavy, but there's no denying it.]
Well, the main thing I'm thinking of is- well- you kinda know about it. Or hot it ended. With... Mystique.
[He pauses a moment to let that settle in.]
The person who did that to her was another X-Man. Someone who had been wronged by Mystique, who had every reason to want nothing to do with her. We argued over over what to do with her, and ultimately it turned out that other person was the key to saving her. At first, I thought that person was going to go along with it, but at the last second...
[He gestures away sadly, thinking back to Mystique's fall.]
[It's definitely not surprising to hear about this, but it doesn't make it any easier. Maybe it's worse now, since Raven is his instructor now. Of course, it's still far worse for his friend, no matter how much time has passed. Or that they've talked about it before. But Scott doesn't interrupt him, the mutant staying quiet with a more downed look.
So... it was another X-Man that killed her. When Mystique was already frozen, unable to act. That seems rather cold, cruel? He remembers their time in that tower, when the both of them 'saved' her from crashing down from that cliff, but it's clear that didn't actually happen in Kurt's timeline. And Kurt had to watch her die.
He gets how painful that is.
Swallowing hard, he lifts a hand, before placing it on Kurt's shoulder.]
...I'm sorry man. [They killed her. Kurt's mom.] They shouldn't have done that-- like she couldn't even defend herself. That's beyond crossing lines if you ask me.
[The memory still haunts him. Scott has helped him in some ways - that dream version where they saved her, plus hearing about and seeing his version of Mystique - it's helped him to feel hopeful and soften the blow a bit. But nothing can completely erase the impact it's had on him.
He offers a weak smile to Scott as he assures him.]
Th-thanks, Scott. It's... it's fine, really. It was hard, really hard, to come to grips with it. And who did it.
[He had shunned Rogue for a while afterwards. But ultimately, he felt he couldn't disown his sister over it. She was the one who was still here, who needed help and needed family who wouldn't leave her.]
...But I did. This person was someone I couldn't just condemn, even if those lines were crossed. I guess that, that's another tough part of being an X-Man. We should stand by each other no matter what! Even when... lines were crossed...?
[He has been trying to avoid mentioning Rogue's identity explicitly, because he doesn't want this to reflect on the Rogue here in this world. Although with what he remembers about the dream world, this Rogue doesn't feel too differently about Mystique and how to handle her...]
[Scott shakes his head, a more stern frown forming. Not that he wants Kurt to hold a grudge against that other mutant forever, but... this can't be 'okay' either.]
It's not fine, Kurt. This is your mom we're talking about, even if she did do a lot of bad things in your timeline.
[And maybe it would be a little different if she was about to kill one of Kurt's friends. This, however? She was already down and out, pretty much. Frozen and really unable to hurt anyone. It just feels excessive.]
We'll stand together as X-Men, but this can't be brushed aside either. They attacked someone that couldn't defend themselves at all. [...] Who hurt Raven anyway?
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Oh. Well, that doesn't sound so bad. It's just talking, right? [He offers a shrug of his shoulders. He is also reminded of Kotone's recent post on the network about a similar subject.]
I mean, we can knock it out right now and get it over with! We can really talk it up, bro-style!
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[If he repeats that to himself several times, it will definitely boost his confidence. That's how that works. Okay, not really, but at least talking to Kurt is something he's normally very comfortable with and that helps. Maybe he doesn't tell every little detail to his best friend, but he's definitely someone that he confides in more than others.
It's just getting that first hurdle. Trying not to imagine Kurt hating him after he gets this stuff off his chest. Because it would hurt, a lot. Technically, he doesn't have to talk about his actual 'crime' itself, but...
Maybe he shouldn't keep it from him anyway. He can trust Kurt, he knows that.]
Thanks man. [He almost smiles.] Just uh, do me a solid and promise not to freak out, okay?
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Of course! I don't get what the big dealio is, but you've got my word. What's up?
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On my parchment it says I killed Charles Xavier.
[He almost says it in a rush, words sticking together, but probably clear enough to decipher. Scott just stands there awkwardly for a moment, maybe a little nervous, anxious and waiting, as he forces himself to look at Kurt.]
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What?! You- but- why? There's no way that's true. Talk about a made-up crime!
[Kurt seems convinced, quickly nodding.]
Maybe it's a typo. Like it's supposed to say that you're really killing it with the Professor!
[That surely sounds much more likely.]
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He almost wants to smile at Kurt's joke, but it doesn't quite reach Scott this time.]
...Of course I haven't hurt the Professor back home. He's okay. [He wants to make that clear at least, that he actually hasn't done that crime back home. But that doesn't mean it never happened. In a universe. Quentin's world, apparently. Scott lets out a breath, trying to gather his words again.]
But. I think I did-- another version of me did.
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So the rest of what Scott has to say throws him off.]
What, for real? What makes you think that? Maybe it's like an evil version of you from some super bizarre universe... [He ponders.]
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[Not that Scott fully slumps in front of Kurt, but he's definitely become quieter. Less confident, his hands placed back in his pockets as he continues to sort through all his feelings about this. Initially angry, defensive, not believing he could ever do such a thing. And he still doesn't think he will.
But it doesn't feel great to see that crime on his parchment. For over a year now. Jerry doesn't think the crime is wrong, but it has to be, right? It's not some omen for the future. It was all just one big mix up...]
...Quentin said that the Scott in his universe did kill the Professor.
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Wait, what? He... he did? ...It didn't sound like he was from an... evil mirror world...
[Despite Quentin's Quentin-ness, he doesn't see any reason to doubt him.]
I just can't believe a you would do that.
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Apparently the Phoenix Force was involved, so I think that other Scott wasn't entirely in his right mind anyway.
[But what was it that Quentin said? That Phoenix can't completely force its host to do something that they would never do. She just amplifies everything to an extreme. He briefly 'glitched' into that Scott, but honestly, all of the stuff that happened around that time is just a big confusing mess. It's overwhelming to think about-- let alone something he doesn't want to think about to begin with, because Kotone...
He shakes his head.]
But... he still did it. [Can he blame the other Scott? Maybe.]
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So the Phoenix messed with you- him. I guess that kinda makes it make more sense.
[He looks at Scott somewhat hopefully.]
But it's not the same if the Phoenix made you do it! You wouldn't do it while in your right mind, and that's what really matters.
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[He might be trying to convince himself. Just a little. But it's not like he really wants to hurt the Professor at all, that much is true. If he keeps on telling himself that, then it should be okay. Yeah, no bad feelings for Phoenix or whatever to latch onto. He's not even sure if she exists in his universe anyway.
Yeah, maybe that would be for the best too. He'll just ignore the minor flare of heat in his chest, as if the small fragment of the fiery bird is insulted by his feelings.]
But y-yeah, that's the whole thing. [He tries for a somewhat encouraging smile.] Jerry wanted me to talk about that-- well, mostly, is it okay to hurt someone for the greater good.
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Right! Yeah. That. [He tries to perk up.]
So, uh, let's rap about that. I feel like it would depend on, like, how much hurt we're talking here. I mean, we end up hurting our enemies all the time for the sake of goodness! [It's easier to approach in the most black and white terms.]
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[And Jean is the one that really finished him off, something that he still thinks about to this day. She's the one that should have Phoenix, really, not him or any other Scott, but wishing that on her doesn't seem fair either. Unless she's... really okay handling such a powerful force. He doesn't want her to go through all that pain either.
But he focuses his thoughts on the present.]
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[His shoulders slump as he considers the idea.]
...It would really depend in that case. I don't know about causing any serious injuries. And I think there's some lines that shouldn't be crossed. After all, in a lot of those cases, there's another way.
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....]
Y-yeah, there's always another way, right? We shouldn't have to hurt those close to us to get something done. That just means I haven't thought of the right solution yet.
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That's kind of our job, right? Being a team, fighting off the bad guys. [...] You and the others back in your world managed all this time without crossing any lines, right?
[Dang, should he ask Kurt's Scott for advice? Not that he's here.]
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...Pretty much. ...Except for... sometimes things got complicated.
[He rubs at his head uncertainly. He also thinks of the time when he saved Magneto's life, despite Logan trying to get him to cut him to cut him off from his lifeline.]
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What happened, Kurt?
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Well, the main thing I'm thinking of is- well- you kinda know about it. Or hot it ended. With... Mystique.
[He pauses a moment to let that settle in.]
The person who did that to her was another X-Man. Someone who had been wronged by Mystique, who had every reason to want nothing to do with her. We argued over over what to do with her, and ultimately it turned out that other person was the key to saving her. At first, I thought that person was going to go along with it, but at the last second...
[He gestures away sadly, thinking back to Mystique's fall.]
...what you saw happened instead.
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So... it was another X-Man that killed her. When Mystique was already frozen, unable to act. That seems rather cold, cruel? He remembers their time in that tower, when the both of them 'saved' her from crashing down from that cliff, but it's clear that didn't actually happen in Kurt's timeline. And Kurt had to watch her die.
He gets how painful that is.
Swallowing hard, he lifts a hand, before placing it on Kurt's shoulder.]
...I'm sorry man. [They killed her. Kurt's mom.] They shouldn't have done that-- like she couldn't even defend herself. That's beyond crossing lines if you ask me.
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He offers a weak smile to Scott as he assures him.]
Th-thanks, Scott. It's... it's fine, really. It was hard, really hard, to come to grips with it. And who did it.
[He had shunned Rogue for a while afterwards. But ultimately, he felt he couldn't disown his sister over it. She was the one who was still here, who needed help and needed family who wouldn't leave her.]
...But I did. This person was someone I couldn't just condemn, even if those lines were crossed. I guess that, that's another tough part of being an X-Man. We should stand by each other no matter what! Even when... lines were crossed...?
[He has been trying to avoid mentioning Rogue's identity explicitly, because he doesn't want this to reflect on the Rogue here in this world. Although with what he remembers about the dream world, this Rogue doesn't feel too differently about Mystique and how to handle her...]
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It's not fine, Kurt. This is your mom we're talking about, even if she did do a lot of bad things in your timeline.
[And maybe it would be a little different if she was about to kill one of Kurt's friends. This, however? She was already down and out, pretty much. Frozen and really unable to hurt anyone. It just feels excessive.]
We'll stand together as X-Men, but this can't be brushed aside either. They attacked someone that couldn't defend themselves at all. [...] Who hurt Raven anyway?
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[He looks down, balling up his fists as he remembers those emotions, and his attempts to distance himself from Rogue.]
But I couldn't hold this against her forever. She's my sister!
[He admits with an exhale, as he meekly looks up at Scott. There's no point hiding it anymore... and he trusts Scott anyway.]
It was Rogue. My... my Rogue. She was raised by Mystique. And used by her. And- and - it's just a lot, okay?
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