[ He tenses, sensing that he's touched on something as he hoped he might.
Coming across sincerely is not a struggle, however... as it's an admission that he truly feels is real. ]
Just pay attention to the world around you. I've probably met a dozen people by now who remember their deaths in detail. The few of us who have "returned home" during their stay claim they have no recollection of this place while they're gone. We're constantly plagued by personal demons and memories that a computer intelligence gathering people from every conceivable place in time and space should have no way of invoking!
[ At least, not unless they pull magic into the equation and that's too outside of his wheelhouse to think about. Because most of all— ]
I could have died at any moment before I arrived here. The radiation was beating me down and it would have continued until there was nothing left. Am I really supposed to think that I'm alone in this? Me and these other dozen people?
Memories wouldn't be difficult to suppress, in the grand scheme of things, externally or internally. It might even be an easier process than reaching across to all these separate worlds to trap their living consciousnesses—pulling them from a particular moment in time and supposedly returning them unscathed as if nothing had ever happened...
He hates the thought of it. He almost hisses his response.]
For this to be some sort of twisted afterlife... [which he's hardly ever believed in,] more torment on top of everything we've already suffered?
[No. Death is supposed to be a refuge. It's supposed to be nothingness. An absence. If he's already dead—then there is nothing more he can do.
His hands curl at his sides as he realizes what that really means to him, past the grasp of the wish seed. He's no longer looking straight at Miller, scowling off at a distant street as wisps of shadow start to rise off of him, the shine of his hair underneath.]
no subject
Coming across sincerely is not a struggle, however... as it's an admission that he truly feels is real. ]
Just pay attention to the world around you. I've probably met a dozen people by now who remember their deaths in detail. The few of us who have "returned home" during their stay claim they have no recollection of this place while they're gone. We're constantly plagued by personal demons and memories that a computer intelligence gathering people from every conceivable place in time and space should have no way of invoking!
[ At least, not unless they pull magic into the equation and that's too outside of his wheelhouse to think about. Because most of all— ]
I could have died at any moment before I arrived here. The radiation was beating me down and it would have continued until there was nothing left. Am I really supposed to think that I'm alone in this? Me and these other dozen people?
[ What makes the living Chosen so special? ]
no subject
Memories wouldn't be difficult to suppress, in the grand scheme of things, externally or internally. It might even be an easier process than reaching across to all these separate worlds to trap their living consciousnesses—pulling them from a particular moment in time and supposedly returning them unscathed as if nothing had ever happened...
He hates the thought of it. He almost hisses his response.]
For this to be some sort of twisted afterlife... [which he's hardly ever believed in,] more torment on top of everything we've already suffered?
[No. Death is supposed to be a refuge. It's supposed to be nothingness. An absence. If he's already dead—then there is nothing more he can do.
His hands curl at his sides as he realizes what that really means to him, past the grasp of the wish seed. He's no longer looking straight at Miller, scowling off at a distant street as wisps of shadow start to rise off of him, the shine of his hair underneath.]
I refuse.