[The part of him that wants to argue is drowned out by his wish to stop. He lifts his head just barely, blearily watching Kurt's approach just past his clawed fingers.]
I don't want... to be more.
[He'd chipped away at himself for so long, only ever playing the parts he felt he needed to play, grinding away any aspect of himself that got in the way because it didn't matter, in the end—it was going to be over, anyway. Until he came here, and it wasn't. But still he continued as he has been, because... why?
Because... of people like Kurt, wasn't it. Young people forced to fight, never given a chance to escape that fate through no fault of their own. He'd wanted to end that, even if only for his own world. He thinks—Kurt reminds him of one of them, the children who've been put in his way. The fiery one who works so hard to be cheerful because so many of his friends can be so grim.
Despite his voiced rejection and the way his eyes slide off of Kurt's face to gaze at a spot in the pockmarked street, one or two wisps of shadow that rise off of him in small spots reveal something much more solid than shade—the familiar coloring of the man instead of darkness and absence.]
[He pauses for a moment as he catches those wisps of shadows. Those glimpses of the Altius he knows. That causes hope to stir up within him. In some way, he might actually be making progress. He can help him.]
You say that. But is that what you really want? I get a feeling that you're less sure of this than you say you are - or that you think you are!
[If this was a time for jokes, he'd say something about him seeming wispy on the matter. But now, it's a time to try talking from the heart.]
Come on. Just think about it. That feeling of wanting to help others. Or any feeling, really! You must really miss feeling things.
No, [he whispers, still hunched over. He does wish he could feel nothing, even still. It's only that there's something else he wants more than that.] But—
[Hadn't he decided long ago? That he'd do whatever it took, no matter how much pain it caused him. No matter how exhausted he got. No matter the cost. His eyes return to his hands, still held close to his head, watching as some of the darkness dissolves to show burned fingers.]
[Kurt continues to step closer. It seems like Altius is struggling now! And are those fingers he sees? It really might be working...]
That's a good question. Whatever you're thinking about, keep it up. Keep thinking about that. Remember! Remember what's important to you. And how hard you're trying to protect others!
Head lifting, he notices Kurt's approach and moves backwards, straightening up slightly with his eyes wider with awareness; where he stood before there's a hole that's been eaten away. His expression isn't one of shock, but there's both alarm and determination there as a little more of the shade becomes human.]
I have to keep going.
[But it's not something he can do with anyone by his side. Not in any real sense.]
[Kurt's eyes widen as he sees the hole in the ground. That confirms what he was starting to suspect about the environment surrounding them. Altius really was causing it! Now he feels a bit relieved that he didn't hold onto him for longer.]
Y-yeah. Keep going. Especially if it leads you- if it leads you back to yourself.
[He's not sure if he completely makes sense, but he just hopes that it helps.]
[Kurt's encouragement helps to solidify his confidence, and he straightens as he turns away. Even though he heads further into the darkness as the mist curls around him, he stops momentarily and speaks, a goodbye of sorts before he moves to disappear.]
[Kurt does try to move closer. He doesn't want to stop now, not when they've made progress! But before he knows it, he's gone.]
Altius...
[But at the very least, Altius's parting words remain with Kurt and resonate with him. In this words, he feels like maybe this isn't a loss. Maybe he's paved the way to victory. All he has to do now is to hope and trust in Altius.]
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I don't want... to be more.
[He'd chipped away at himself for so long, only ever playing the parts he felt he needed to play, grinding away any aspect of himself that got in the way because it didn't matter, in the end—it was going to be over, anyway. Until he came here, and it wasn't. But still he continued as he has been, because... why?
Because... of people like Kurt, wasn't it. Young people forced to fight, never given a chance to escape that fate through no fault of their own. He'd wanted to end that, even if only for his own world. He thinks—Kurt reminds him of one of them, the children who've been put in his way. The fiery one who works so hard to be cheerful because so many of his friends can be so grim.
Despite his voiced rejection and the way his eyes slide off of Kurt's face to gaze at a spot in the pockmarked street, one or two wisps of shadow that rise off of him in small spots reveal something much more solid than shade—the familiar coloring of the man instead of darkness and absence.]
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You say that. But is that what you really want? I get a feeling that you're less sure of this than you say you are - or that you think you are!
[If this was a time for jokes, he'd say something about him seeming wispy on the matter. But now, it's a time to try talking from the heart.]
Come on. Just think about it. That feeling of wanting to help others. Or any feeling, really! You must really miss feeling things.
no subject
[Hadn't he decided long ago? That he'd do whatever it took, no matter how much pain it caused him. No matter how exhausted he got. No matter the cost. His eyes return to his hands, still held close to his head, watching as some of the darkness dissolves to show burned fingers.]
How could I forget...?
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That's a good question. Whatever you're thinking about, keep it up. Keep thinking about that. Remember! Remember what's important to you. And how hard you're trying to protect others!
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Head lifting, he notices Kurt's approach and moves backwards, straightening up slightly with his eyes wider with awareness; where he stood before there's a hole that's been eaten away. His expression isn't one of shock, but there's both alarm and determination there as a little more of the shade becomes human.]
I have to keep going.
[But it's not something he can do with anyone by his side. Not in any real sense.]
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Y-yeah. Keep going. Especially if it leads you- if it leads you back to yourself.
[He's not sure if he completely makes sense, but he just hopes that it helps.]
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... thank you.
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Altius...
[But at the very least, Altius's parting words remain with Kurt and resonate with him. In this words, he feels like maybe this isn't a loss. Maybe he's paved the way to victory. All he has to do now is to hope and trust in Altius.]