[The question startles Ryoji, especially when he was deep in thought by his lonesome this entire time. Wide blue eyes meet Claude’s own quizzical look — was he speaking aloud this entire time? That didn’t seem to be the case, but he could have also have been mumbling to himself without realizing it.
He’s sure he looks completely human right now, at least. He’s had a lot of practice back when he thought he was actually human. In fact, he’s not sure how he’s supposed to look otherwise when he hasn’t been transformed into Thanatos. That other side of him is still restrained under lock and key: he has complete control on whether he should let its dark ferocity out. So far, so good.]
Er, I guess I’m not actually human? But I’m not a scary person, promise!
[The fact that he’s Death is no longer a matter of secrecy, but he knows such revelations could still be met with trepidation. He splays both of his hands in front of him, in a sign of peace and surrender.
Which leaves the matter of Claude’s discomfort, and that is a more alarming concern than anything else. He looks at the other with worried eyes, eyebrows creasing alongside his frown.]
Yes, I -- ahem. [ He pauses to clear his throat. From his chest pocket, he produces a handkerchief, which he uses to mop at his brow while he offers Ryoji a wan smile. ] Perhaps I'm coming down with something. Hardly what you want to hear from someone providing healing tools, I admit.
[ He can barely see. The closer that Ryoji gets, the more the room begins to spin; he has to set a hand on the counter to steady himself, smiling through grit teeth and a throbbing head. He has never fainted before - lost consciousness, yes, fainted, no - but he imagines this is what it feels like.
Ryoji's promise that he's not a scary person falls flat, all things considered. More than that, this sensation feels... familiar. He'd sensed something similar in Minato, though he had quickly dismissed it. Now, it seems that his body will no longer allow him to deny the inevitable.
But that doesn't explain what about Ryoji feels so damn bad. His internal monologue, blurred and muffled by his aura though it may be, makes allusions to being Death, but -- no. That can't be. ]
Apologies. [ He swallows. ] If you don't mind my asking... if you're not human, then what are you?
[ And does whatever you are come with side effects? ]
[Ryoji can’t help the concern growing on his face, even though Claude seems to shrug off whatever has been ailing him well enough. Not for the first time he wishes he knew healing magics, at least such that he can alleviate whatever is going on here, although a part of him knows that it probably won’t be of much help here, considering that he’s talking to a healer himself.
But now there are other matters at hand, and — how is he supposed to answer that question? He has always been an anomaly, a god turned Shadow turned Persona turned human. He might have been Death, but he has been shaped by his experiences and influences, and now there’s other stuff mixed in with his essence.
In the end, he can only reply with a sheepish smile.]
I’m afraid it’s a bit complicated. [He mumbles, apologetically.] I guess the simplest way for me to tell it is that…I’m an avatar of Death, I guess? Oh, but that doesn’t mean I’m dangerous or anything!
[He holds his hands up, holding up a proverbial white flag.]
An avatar of Death, [ Claude repeats, tone almost skeptical as he raises a brow at Ryoji. It's not that he has any room to be a skeptic here, not after everything he's experienced, everything he's done, surrounded by those in possession of magnificent magical powers, or the inability to die, or a lifetime of traipsing through space and the stars themselves, but this is greater than anything Claude has the ability to wrap his mind around.
Perhaps he wouldn't believe him, or would consider it to be some sort of extended spiritual metaphor if not for the fact that his presence is so bleak, so uncomfortable, as though Claude is well and truly dying.
He's not. He's died before, and it didn't feel like this. But he feels cold. He can't even make out Ryoji's features. ]
You're certain that touching you won't kill me? [ He says, squinting past the shadows. ] What does it mean, then?
It means I ferry souls to the afterlife. That I wish for peaceful death instead of agony. It…doesn’t mean much here, to be honest. I think you could guess why.
[Death is cheap here — even Ryoji has died before, as absurd as the concept might seem for Death itself to die. There are no souls to ferry, not when a cycle traps them all in endless suffering. Or perhaps that is a blessing on its own: not a lot of people want to die before their time, after all. And there is a lot of danger and disaster in this world that makes that such a reality.
He fears this reception, in honesty, yet he has expected it.]
To be honest, I don’t tell this to a lot of people because I know it’s a scary concept. And I don’t want people to be scared of me!
[His fingers draw towards his yellow scarf, idly playing at its threads. It’s a nervous tick.]
So I have to ask first: how did you know that I’m not human?
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expiationlogs2025-03-11 10:18 am
no subject
He’s sure he looks completely human right now, at least. He’s had a lot of practice back when he thought he was actually human. In fact, he’s not sure how he’s supposed to look otherwise when he hasn’t been transformed into Thanatos. That other side of him is still restrained under lock and key: he has complete control on whether he should let its dark ferocity out. So far, so good.]
Er, I guess I’m not actually human? But I’m not a scary person, promise!
[The fact that he’s Death is no longer a matter of secrecy, but he knows such revelations could still be met with trepidation. He splays both of his hands in front of him, in a sign of peace and surrender.
Which leaves the matter of Claude’s discomfort, and that is a more alarming concern than anything else. He looks at the other with worried eyes, eyebrows creasing alongside his frown.]
That aside, are you alright?
no subject
[ He can barely see. The closer that Ryoji gets, the more the room begins to spin; he has to set a hand on the counter to steady himself, smiling through grit teeth and a throbbing head. He has never fainted before - lost consciousness, yes, fainted, no - but he imagines this is what it feels like.
Ryoji's promise that he's not a scary person falls flat, all things considered. More than that, this sensation feels... familiar. He'd sensed something similar in Minato, though he had quickly dismissed it. Now, it seems that his body will no longer allow him to deny the inevitable.
But that doesn't explain what about Ryoji feels so damn bad. His internal monologue, blurred and muffled by his aura though it may be, makes allusions to being Death, but -- no. That can't be. ]
Apologies. [ He swallows. ] If you don't mind my asking... if you're not human, then what are you?
[ And does whatever you are come with side effects? ]
no subject
But now there are other matters at hand, and — how is he supposed to answer that question? He has always been an anomaly, a god turned Shadow turned Persona turned human. He might have been Death, but he has been shaped by his experiences and influences, and now there’s other stuff mixed in with his essence.
In the end, he can only reply with a sheepish smile.]
I’m afraid it’s a bit complicated. [He mumbles, apologetically.] I guess the simplest way for me to tell it is that…I’m an avatar of Death, I guess? Oh, but that doesn’t mean I’m dangerous or anything!
[He holds his hands up, holding up a proverbial white flag.]
Touching me won’t kill you or anything like that!
no subject
Perhaps he wouldn't believe him, or would consider it to be some sort of extended spiritual metaphor if not for the fact that his presence is so bleak, so uncomfortable, as though Claude is well and truly dying.
He's not. He's died before, and it didn't feel like this. But he feels cold. He can't even make out Ryoji's features. ]
You're certain that touching you won't kill me? [ He says, squinting past the shadows. ] What does it mean, then?
no subject
[Death is cheap here — even Ryoji has died before, as absurd as the concept might seem for Death itself to die. There are no souls to ferry, not when a cycle traps them all in endless suffering. Or perhaps that is a blessing on its own: not a lot of people want to die before their time, after all. And there is a lot of danger and disaster in this world that makes that such a reality.
He fears this reception, in honesty, yet he has expected it.]
To be honest, I don’t tell this to a lot of people because I know it’s a scary concept. And I don’t want people to be scared of me!
[His fingers draw towards his yellow scarf, idly playing at its threads. It’s a nervous tick.]
So I have to ask first: how did you know that I’m not human?