[Quentin rolls his eyes and slumps back with an excessively dramatic sigh like this is the biggest inconvenience of his entire life. Which it is. Obviously.]
Come on, really? Seriously? You're gonna psychically stink up the place with your bad vibes and copium, and then have the audacity to waste my time?
[He points at her accusingly and narrows his eyes.]
You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't play dumb.
[She tries to exchange a baffled look with Phoenix, but all she gets is the same impassive, slightly quizzical coo that she'd given Quentin in response to his stink-eye. Bad vibes, sure, Kotone can understand what that means, but what's copium?!]
I dunno what you want me to say. [The confusion in her voice is genuine, at least, and that puzzled look has replaced her smile. So that's progress of a sort, maybe! as she mixes his drink together and tries to figure out what he's looking for.] Sorry, I guess? I'll try to be less psychically stinky!
[She tries for another smile and tops his drink with three cherries, doing her very best to make her smile look convincing.]
[Quentin looks at her with the most unimpressed and unconvinced expression he can muster. Which is quite a bit, to be fair. After he's certain his incredulity is felt, he sits back and irritably eats a cherry.]
You know what it smells like—metaphorically, I mean. Telepathically. To my senses, which are of course amazing and godlike—when somebody is keeping all their emotions pent up? Smells like four month old leftovers in the fridge. Every time you walk past some of that nastiness wafts out and hits you like a baseball bat made of solid stank.
[Is that true? Not really. Is Quentin willing to bend the truth to get the results he wants—in this case, chipping at Kotone's annoyingly omnipresent wall of fake niceness and people-pleasing bullshit? Absolutely. It's for the greater good! And also maybe some particular personal hangups Quentin has for unrelated reasons. But mostly that first thing!]
Your little boyfriend is gone. Might not be coming back. Maybe he's dead. Who knows! You're here merrily making drinks for any asshole who swings by. You want to put those pieces together, or you need me to hold your hand a little more?
[She opens her mouth, either to agree or express sympathy at the notion of emotional stink (she hadn't decided which yet) and apologize for causing it, but then he keeps going and she's just kind of left with her mouth open under that verbal barrage. At Quentin saying out loud that Scott might be dead, she flinches in spite of herself, back straightening and eyes flashing with defiance.
He's not saying anything she doesn't know already, but it hurts coming from someone else. There's a part of her that wants to lash out and scream, tell him she knows and to go somewhere else if her vibes are so stinky; Phoenix looks at her, then starts slowly puffing up on her shoulder, the temperature spiking as she spreads her wings. It's probably supposed to make her look intimidating, but really it just makes her look extra fluffy. It's enough to catch Kotone's attention, though, and she takes a step back, putting a hand on the bird's chest to calm her down.]
I know, [she finally admits, not in a scream but with an air of resignation. Her lips reflexively curl into a smile as she glances up to meet his eyes.] Sorry. What do you think I should do instead?
[Quentin's eyebrows raise a little at her initial flinch and change in posture, and he glances cautiously at the phoenix. Oh ho? A crack in the armor? But no. She recovers, and it's back to the Little Miss Perfect routine. He sighs in mild disappointment and idly takes off his glasses to clean them with his shirt.]
Wow. That was almost an actual honest reaction. Gotta say, didn't think you had it in you. [He puts his glasses back on and casually eats his second cherry, waving his hand vaguely at her in a "go ahead" gesture.]
Now do it again. But don't half-ass it this time, mmkay?
[Her incredulity's back as she makes a face at him, shaking her head. Phoenix squawks as if to say if her host's girlfriend won't yell at him, she'll do it instead, but Kotone just reaches up and rubs her beak soothingly. Either to soothe the bird or herself, really.]
Why?
[No, that's the wrong question. She scrunches up her face and shrugs her shoulder, prompting Phoenix to let go and fly into her arms instead. The bird might be a cosmic force of destruction and rebirth, but she's also a part of Scott. Also Kotone's been bribing her with cookies but that's neither here nor there. Tucking her head against Phoenix's, she rephrases the question.]
I mean... I get what you're trying to make me do, but why do you want me to yell at you? I could just go yell wherever if I wanted to. It won't help either way.
Do I want you to yell at me? God, no. Getting yelled at by you sounds like it would literally kill me from boredom. Like getting lectured by a really self-righteous hamster.
[Quentin plucks the last cherry out of his drink and gestures at Kotone with it.]
But you wanted to. [He gives her a shrewd look briefly—yep, he's calling you out, Kotone—and then shrugs dismissively, like she's obviously just a lost cause.]
Aaand then you chickened out. As usual. It's like... I'm an obvious shit-starter, and I read minds. But you still do the charade like I'm some braindead normie who's gonna eat corny-ass platitudes out of your hand. Disappointing, honestly.
[She puffs out her cheeks at being called self-righteous, which does nothing to help the hamster allegations.]
I just don't wanna make people feel bad, or feel sorry for me. That's all.
[So yelling, crying, or lashing out seems like a definite no. Scott and Yu and so many others had told her that they like it better when she's open with her feelings, but that so much easier to do with them than to just do with whoever. It's a hard habit to break, feigning cheer in a bad situation so people don't ask her about it.
...Scott would probably be really disappointed that she's pretending, huh? She goes quiet and digs her chin into Phoenix's head.]
And yet here I am, feeling both bad and sorry. Or, you know, bored and annoyed. Same difference.
[He chomps down the last cherry and downs half his drink in one big swig so Kotone has plenty of time to digest that. Since, you know, it was so profound and all. It wasn't.]
And to think, all you really had to say was "get lost, asshole. My boyfriend's gone, and I'm having a really shit day." Seems so simple in retrospect.
[It does give her plenty of time, though she uses it to study his face, trying to read anything she can from him. Unfortunately for her, there's only one mind-reader in this conversation, and it isn't her. She's usually really good at figuring out what other people want to say, but Quentin wants her genuine feelings, doesn't he? That's easier said than done, though. It had taken Scott a long time to break through that shell.
Finally, she shakes her head, still hugging Phoenix close.] You miss him, too, [she accuses softly, looking across at Quentin.] Me getting mad 'cause you're being a jerk isn't gonna make me feel better.
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expiationlogs2025-02-10 12:12 pm
no subject
Come on, really? Seriously? You're gonna psychically stink up the place with your bad vibes and copium, and then have the audacity to waste my time?
[He points at her accusingly and narrows his eyes.]
You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't play dumb.
no subject
I dunno what you want me to say. [The confusion in her voice is genuine, at least, and that puzzled look has replaced her smile. So that's progress of a sort, maybe! as she mixes his drink together and tries to figure out what he's looking for.] Sorry, I guess? I'll try to be less psychically stinky!
[She tries for another smile and tops his drink with three cherries, doing her very best to make her smile look convincing.]
no subject
You know what it smells like—metaphorically, I mean. Telepathically. To my senses, which are of course amazing and godlike—when somebody is keeping all their emotions pent up? Smells like four month old leftovers in the fridge. Every time you walk past some of that nastiness wafts out and hits you like a baseball bat made of solid stank.
[Is that true? Not really. Is Quentin willing to bend the truth to get the results he wants—in this case, chipping at Kotone's annoyingly omnipresent wall of fake niceness and people-pleasing bullshit? Absolutely. It's for the greater good! And also maybe some particular personal hangups Quentin has for unrelated reasons. But mostly that first thing!]
Your little boyfriend is gone. Might not be coming back. Maybe he's dead. Who knows! You're here merrily making drinks for any asshole who swings by. You want to put those pieces together, or you need me to hold your hand a little more?
no subject
He's not saying anything she doesn't know already, but it hurts coming from someone else. There's a part of her that wants to lash out and scream, tell him she knows and to go somewhere else if her vibes are so stinky; Phoenix looks at her, then starts slowly puffing up on her shoulder, the temperature spiking as she spreads her wings. It's probably supposed to make her look intimidating, but really it just makes her look extra fluffy. It's enough to catch Kotone's attention, though, and she takes a step back, putting a hand on the bird's chest to calm her down.]
I know, [she finally admits, not in a scream but with an air of resignation. Her lips reflexively curl into a smile as she glances up to meet his eyes.] Sorry. What do you think I should do instead?
no subject
Wow. That was almost an actual honest reaction. Gotta say, didn't think you had it in you. [He puts his glasses back on and casually eats his second cherry, waving his hand vaguely at her in a "go ahead" gesture.]
Now do it again. But don't half-ass it this time, mmkay?
no subject
[Her incredulity's back as she makes a face at him, shaking her head. Phoenix squawks as if to say if her host's girlfriend won't yell at him, she'll do it instead, but Kotone just reaches up and rubs her beak soothingly. Either to soothe the bird or herself, really.]
Why?
[No, that's the wrong question. She scrunches up her face and shrugs her shoulder, prompting Phoenix to let go and fly into her arms instead. The bird might be a cosmic force of destruction and rebirth, but she's also a part of Scott. Also Kotone's been bribing her with cookies but that's neither here nor there. Tucking her head against Phoenix's, she rephrases the question.]
I mean... I get what you're trying to make me do, but why do you want me to yell at you? I could just go yell wherever if I wanted to. It won't help either way.
no subject
[Quentin plucks the last cherry out of his drink and gestures at Kotone with it.]
But you wanted to. [He gives her a shrewd look briefly—yep, he's calling you out, Kotone—and then shrugs dismissively, like she's obviously just a lost cause.]
Aaand then you chickened out. As usual. It's like... I'm an obvious shit-starter, and I read minds. But you still do the charade like I'm some braindead normie who's gonna eat corny-ass platitudes out of your hand. Disappointing, honestly.
no subject
I just don't wanna make people feel bad, or feel sorry for me. That's all.
[So yelling, crying, or lashing out seems like a definite no. Scott and Yu and so many others had told her that they like it better when she's open with her feelings, but that so much easier to do with them than to just do with whoever. It's a hard habit to break, feigning cheer in a bad situation so people don't ask her about it.
...Scott would probably be really disappointed that she's pretending, huh? She goes quiet and digs her chin into Phoenix's head.]
no subject
[He chomps down the last cherry and downs half his drink in one big swig so Kotone has plenty of time to digest that. Since, you know, it was so profound and all.
It wasn't.]And to think, all you really had to say was "get lost, asshole. My boyfriend's gone, and I'm having a really shit day." Seems so simple in retrospect.
no subject
Finally, she shakes her head, still hugging Phoenix close.] You miss him, too, [she accuses softly, looking across at Quentin.] Me getting mad 'cause you're being a jerk isn't gonna make me feel better.