[The idea of reincarnation isn't something Scott really believes in, but he's never felt this way around anyone else, not even Jean. So, maybe, there is something to it? It's not like he just thinks of Kotone as a cute face, there's truly something deeper here and he wants to reach it, even if it also brings forth that same pain from earlier. That deep sense of loss that seems just as integral to their relationship as everything else.
He's not even sure what to do with that feeling. But beyond that, there's something so warm, a deep and intense sort of emotion that he never thought he'd have. It's somehow worth all the pain.
Scott continues to keep her hand against his chest, hand warm on top of hers. She's alive, sitting right in front of him, and that's almost enough for now. If they're getting stares or being weird inside a beef bowl restaurant, oh well.]
Maybe. [He eventually answers, voice soft, reflective.] I just know that I came here because of you.
[What a pickup line-- but he fully feels that way.]
[If they're getting stared at, Kotone doesn't notice. She didn't notice if there are even any other customers around, or if the chef is still close by. Right now, it feels like the only two people in the world right now are her and Scott. The heartbeat beneath her fingers is undeniably alive, and for a moment, she's struck with a sudden fear that if she put her hand to her heart again, she wouldn't feel it beating at all.]
Fate's funny like that, [she answers, voice equally as soft as she tilts her head and tries to catch his eye with another little smile. She'd come back here ten years after her parents had been killed, she'd wound up with SEES and met everyone, been pulled in this crazy journey set before her by Igor and Pharos. How had it ended...? She can't remember. Maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe she just wants to enjoy the time she has with him, time that's feeling ever more limited.
So she forces a wider smile, tries to pull her hand back from his grasp.] But don't think that gets you out of paying for me! [she tries in a transparent attempt to reclaim that earlier lighter atmosphere, shying away from whatever it is that she can't remember.]
[Fate...? Maybe it really is that. It's not just simple coincidence that he ended up attending this private school in Japan. It can't be that simple, right? Something drew him to Kotone Shiomi for one reason or another. Those feelings aren't false, he knows that for sure. Maybe some external force wanted them to meet. She's been fully reciprocal about the idea at least, so it's not just him feeling this way. It helps, making Scott feel less awkward. She really understands... and she's not making fun of him.
He looks at her through his ruby lens, something intense about his gaze even as he releases her hand from his hold. Something about all this feels familiar anyway, maybe it's the past life she brought up? But he swears he can remember sitting with her like this, eating sushi, enjoying each other's company. He wants to say that she should be wearing a blue butterfly hair clip he got her but--]
Huh? Wait, that's not fair! You totally cheated! [Being abruptly pulled from his thoughts for this!! Scott easily goes along with it, his protests playful as he looks at her with a half-offended look.] Aren't you supposed to be 'senpai?' Take care of the new students?
[She manages another laugh, but doesn't disagree. If she's the senpai, maybe she should pay for him, huh? Turn the tables on him for once!]
What, you don't think I'm taking care of you? [she teases, pushing those lingering thoughts from earlier out of her mind. Maybe if she shoves them back far enough, she can convince herself that all they were talking about was nothing but corny pickup lines and flirting, not something that feels all too real and serious. Maybe she can even manage to keep from looking at whatever it is that's lingering just out sight, something that she fears might break her whole world apart if only she looked at it.] Next thing, you'll make me pay for you at the arcade, too!
Because 100% he feels like she is taking care of him, showing him around this area and even eating here at one of her favorite places. No complaints about the food, he's been enjoying talking with her, and he doesn't want any of this to end. So, all that is proof that she's been a good senpai. Except, that nagging feeling is still there, like it's unable to fully go away now. That he needs to remember something really important, even if he may not like it.
It's like he can't keep running from the truth, no matter how much it will hurt him. Hurt her. Even though that's the last thing he'd ever want to do.
As he looks at her smile, Scott wants nothing more than just memorize it. Because maybe the next day, he won't see it again and--]
You've been taking care of me. [He says, voice soft and filled with emotion. She always takes care of him, huh? When he's hurt, so angry and upset about something, and he wants to do the same for her. He wants to be with her whenever she's struggling, when she doesn't feel like smiling or getting up, when everything feels too much for her. These feelings feel intense, but somehow natural, like he wouldn't know how to feel any other way around her.]
I want to take care of you. [Weren't they just talking about food and the arcade?]
[He's... really emotional, isn't he? The feeling in his voice warms her heart with something bittersweet, something that softens her teasing smile into a smaller, more genuine expression. She'd been kind of joking about them meeting in a past life, but kind of not, too; she rests her hand gently atop his knee and tilts her head to meet his eyes.]
You are. Just by being with me. [She doesn't know how or why or even when he has, but she knows it as surely as she knows her own name. Even with just his mere presence, he's made her feel complete, filled a void she hadn't even known was there.
So she reaches across with her chopsticks and steals a piece of beef from his bowl.]
[He covers her hand with his, thumb passing across her knuckles as he looks at her, trying to read past that smile and knowing there's something pained about it. It'd be hard to notice for most, but he's known her for a while, hasn't he? It's why he can do this.]
I'll always be here for you.
[And yet, why does that feel like a lie? There's a flicker of another memory, or maybe he just knows, that what they have won't last forever. That any moment, either of them can be separated without warning, but they still promised to be together for as long as they can. As long as they're in Aldrip, they will be with each other.
...
Aldrip. That's right, they're from there-- they are still there. Here. This is just a dream and Kotone doesn't even know, the realization getting Scott's eyes to widen behind his shades. This is something she's wanted and dreamed of, to experience her 3rd year and live and be happy with her friends. With him. But she can't have it.
Something lodges in his throat, even as she playfully steals a piece of beef from his bowl. Suddenly, he cares less about that.]
...I'll always be here. [He says again, quietly, his voice still filled with so much emotion, but now tinged with a vast sort of pain.]
Nobody "always" stays with her. Everyone leaves eventually. But it matters that he thinks so. She can't see his eyes widen behind his glasses, but she can hear the pain in his voice as he repeats the promise. Something in his past is hurting him really deeply, huh?
She steals the last piece of beef from his bowl and conjures up a smile, trying to make him smile in return.] It's okay if you don't! [she reassures him, again with her mouth full.] Nobody is here forever. What matters is that we're here together now.
[She finishes chewing and swallows, offering him another smile.] Like you said -- live every day to the fullest, right?
[He doesn't really return her smile, not this time.]
Even now, you say something like that, huh?
[Scott may have agreed earlier about living life to the fullest and it's not like he didn't mean it, but everything is different to him now that he's aware of what's actually going on. There's something maybe a little tired about him and maybe not fully accepting, but it's like he truly understands. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, badly. Something pained stays on his face for a while, eyes searching hers, before he forces a grin at her. He can do it too.]
But come on, weren't you going to show me more things, senpai?
[She's hurt him. It's pretty obvious, she thinks; he's not very good at forcing a smile. But she doesn't know what else she could have said, either. It's good to know that even if their time is limited, they still have it together, right?
But he's trying to move past that hurt, and she isn't going to dig into a wound he doesn't want to talk about. She scoops the last bit of rice out of his bowl and jumps off the stool with a smile of her own, hoping that at least he can draw from some of her energy to reclaim his own.]
Sure! There are a lot of things I want you to see. [And that's maybe the truest sentiment she's said all day; there are so many things she wants to show him, almost like she wants to share these pieces of herself. In spite of her earlier comments, she still pays -- at least, she's pretty sure she pays -- because the next moment, they're at the mall, surrounded by its three fountains as she checks the cute watch on her wrist that Shinji had given her all those months ago.]
We still have a little bit before the club opens, so we can hit the arcade if you want!
[He can't remember who pays for the meal, but none of that really matters to Scott anyway. Hard to focus on such minor things like that when they're suddenly somewhere else, the mutant blinking behind his shades to look at the fountains in front of them. They really shifted locations without missing a beat and it's so bizarre, even though it confirms they're in a dream.
He doubts that Kotone notices it yet and maybe the right thing to do is snap her out of it, but.
He wants to share this dream for her as long as possible, because it still counts as memories they formed, right? She's showing him her home, her favorite spots, and all that matters to him. Even if she seems to be aware on some level that things don't last, she's still enjoying days that should be impossible to her. This feels like something he wants to make real for her back home, even if the possibility seems so far away. How do you undo a seal without dooming the entire world with it? Difficult. Nearly impossible.
But as he looks at Kotone, it feels like he'd want to try anyway.]
Since you paid for lunch, I'll let you decide the first game. [His own smile is still small, but at least less forced.] Better not go easy on me; I'm basically the king of the arcade back in America.
[It seems so obvious when he says it, but she can't help being surprised! Usually everyone had something better to do, so when she was at the arcade, it was almost always by herself. She'd kind of assumed it would be similar here, where even if they were at the arcade together, they'd play their own separate games.]
I've never played a game with somebody before! [She's pretty sure, anyway. Wait, hadn't she played with Scott before...? No, that can't be right. Unless they really did meet before, there's no way she could have. Impulsively, she grabs his hand and pulls him into the arcade, looking around for whatever doesn't have a line.] Maybe you can pick, then. I'm only really good at single-player games.
Uh, duh?? You seriously never played a game with another person?
[This feels easy at least. Lightly teasing her and getting those playful reactions in return. She still has that smile to her that always hints at something deeper, sadder, but sometimes it's less pronounced, like right now. Maybe, in this dream, he can get her to open up to him again. Feels like it should be easy since they've been together for so long, but Kotone is never easy.
At the very least, he'll still enjoy being with her. Because that's natural, no matter what. There's not a moment when he doesn't want to spend time with her, spend those limited hours, days, together because neither of them will know when it will end. Yes, it hurts, but being with Kotone is just that. Feeling his happiest, and also, feeling his saddest.
His hand curls in hers as she leads him to the arcade.]
Okay, we have to play Street Fighter 2.
[Or whatever the equivalent is here. He kind of finds it sad that she's only played single-player games before, like she didn't really take anyone here. Someone surely would've suggested to play a two-player game otherwise, right? Well, at least this gives him the chance to wipe the floor with her. He really won't go easy on her!!]
[Isn't that a little sad, the idea that none of her friends would come to the arcade with her? She doesn't think so, anyway, just shrugging and accepting it as is -- and with more than a little excitement that she actually gets to play games together with Scott. It makes it easier to ignore both the heaviness of their earlier conversation and the lingering feeling that something is terribly wrong, lurking in her peripheral vision. Like if she turns her head too quickly or looks the wrong way, it'll all disappear around her.
Anyway, is not one of her usual games, but for once there's no line for it. Lucky them! Since Scott said he's paying, she just bounces lightly on her feet with her hands clasped behind her back, waiting for him to put the coins into Steak Fighter 2.]
You'll have to teach me how to play. Oh, before we go to the club, you should try Horror House. It's good for your Courage!
[Kotone, he swears, don't admit that so enthusiastically.....
Scott really has to hold back his sigh, because this is how his girlfriend is, even in a dream. Although seeing how excited she is now, he can't help but smile. Even if she never thought about it before, it's clear that she's happy at the thought of playing games with her friends-- with him and it's enough to push back his more sobering thoughts about Kotone. He really wants this to be a good time between them, he wants this to really last, until he has to tell her the truth and get out of here.
He wonders if Kotone would be upset with him for holding out this long, but he pushes that thought away. He'd never want to endanger her, so the first sign of anything truly going wrong, he'll try and wake them up. And if nothing happens... he plans on telling her after the club. Before it gets too dark.
But for right now, he's too busy picking out his character in Steak Fighter 2! Rib-eye it is!!]
Just mash the buttons. [He advises, because he's mean like that. Should he help Kotone out more? Nah. This is all part of the experience.] And why are you talking about Horror House like it's going to raise my stat? But sure, I'll try it. You got a high score for me to beat?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
expiationmods) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
expiationlogs2025-01-13 12:39 pm
no subject
He's not even sure what to do with that feeling. But beyond that, there's something so warm, a deep and intense sort of emotion that he never thought he'd have. It's somehow worth all the pain.
Scott continues to keep her hand against his chest, hand warm on top of hers. She's alive, sitting right in front of him, and that's almost enough for now. If they're getting stares or being weird inside a beef bowl restaurant, oh well.]
Maybe. [He eventually answers, voice soft, reflective.] I just know that I came here because of you.
[What a pickup line-- but he fully feels that way.]
no subject
Fate's funny like that, [she answers, voice equally as soft as she tilts her head and tries to catch his eye with another little smile. She'd come back here ten years after her parents had been killed, she'd wound up with SEES and met everyone, been pulled in this crazy journey set before her by Igor and Pharos. How had it ended...? She can't remember. Maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe she just wants to enjoy the time she has with him, time that's feeling ever more limited.
So she forces a wider smile, tries to pull her hand back from his grasp.] But don't think that gets you out of paying for me! [she tries in a transparent attempt to reclaim that earlier lighter atmosphere, shying away from whatever it is that she can't remember.]
no subject
He looks at her through his ruby lens, something intense about his gaze even as he releases her hand from his hold. Something about all this feels familiar anyway, maybe it's the past life she brought up? But he swears he can remember sitting with her like this, eating sushi, enjoying each other's company. He wants to say that she should be wearing a blue butterfly hair clip he got her but--]
Huh? Wait, that's not fair! You totally cheated! [Being abruptly pulled from his thoughts for this!! Scott easily goes along with it, his protests playful as he looks at her with a half-offended look.] Aren't you supposed to be 'senpai?' Take care of the new students?
no subject
What, you don't think I'm taking care of you? [she teases, pushing those lingering thoughts from earlier out of her mind. Maybe if she shoves them back far enough, she can convince herself that all they were talking about was nothing but corny pickup lines and flirting, not something that feels all too real and serious. Maybe she can even manage to keep from looking at whatever it is that's lingering just out sight, something that she fears might break her whole world apart if only she looked at it.] Next thing, you'll make me pay for you at the arcade, too!
no subject
[He fell right into that one!!
Because 100% he feels like she is taking care of him, showing him around this area and even eating here at one of her favorite places. No complaints about the food, he's been enjoying talking with her, and he doesn't want any of this to end. So, all that is proof that she's been a good senpai. Except, that nagging feeling is still there, like it's unable to fully go away now. That he needs to remember something really important, even if he may not like it.
It's like he can't keep running from the truth, no matter how much it will hurt him. Hurt her. Even though that's the last thing he'd ever want to do.
As he looks at her smile, Scott wants nothing more than just memorize it. Because maybe the next day, he won't see it again and--]
You've been taking care of me. [He says, voice soft and filled with emotion. She always takes care of him, huh? When he's hurt, so angry and upset about something, and he wants to do the same for her. He wants to be with her whenever she's struggling, when she doesn't feel like smiling or getting up, when everything feels too much for her. These feelings feel intense, but somehow natural, like he wouldn't know how to feel any other way around her.]
I want to take care of you. [Weren't they just talking about food and the arcade?]
no subject
You are. Just by being with me. [She doesn't know how or why or even when he has, but she knows it as surely as she knows her own name. Even with just his mere presence, he's made her feel complete, filled a void she hadn't even known was there.
So she reaches across with her chopsticks and steals a piece of beef from his bowl.]
no subject
I'll always be here for you.
[And yet, why does that feel like a lie? There's a flicker of another memory, or maybe he just knows, that what they have won't last forever. That any moment, either of them can be separated without warning, but they still promised to be together for as long as they can. As long as they're in Aldrip, they will be with each other.
...
Aldrip. That's right, they're from there-- they are still there. Here. This is just a dream and Kotone doesn't even know, the realization getting Scott's eyes to widen behind his shades. This is something she's wanted and dreamed of, to experience her 3rd year and live and be happy with her friends. With him. But she can't have it.
Something lodges in his throat, even as she playfully steals a piece of beef from his bowl. Suddenly, he cares less about that.]
...I'll always be here. [He says again, quietly, his voice still filled with so much emotion, but now tinged with a vast sort of pain.]
no subject
Nobody "always" stays with her. Everyone leaves eventually. But it matters that he thinks so. She can't see his eyes widen behind his glasses, but she can hear the pain in his voice as he repeats the promise. Something in his past is hurting him really deeply, huh?
She steals the last piece of beef from his bowl and conjures up a smile, trying to make him smile in return.] It's okay if you don't! [she reassures him, again with her mouth full.] Nobody is here forever. What matters is that we're here together now.
[She finishes chewing and swallows, offering him another smile.] Like you said -- live every day to the fullest, right?
no subject
Even now, you say something like that, huh?
[Scott may have agreed earlier about living life to the fullest and it's not like he didn't mean it, but everything is different to him now that he's aware of what's actually going on. There's something maybe a little tired about him and maybe not fully accepting, but it's like he truly understands. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, badly. Something pained stays on his face for a while, eyes searching hers, before he forces a grin at her. He can do it too.]
But come on, weren't you going to show me more things, senpai?
no subject
But he's trying to move past that hurt, and she isn't going to dig into a wound he doesn't want to talk about. She scoops the last bit of rice out of his bowl and jumps off the stool with a smile of her own, hoping that at least he can draw from some of her energy to reclaim his own.]
Sure! There are a lot of things I want you to see. [And that's maybe the truest sentiment she's said all day; there are so many things she wants to show him, almost like she wants to share these pieces of herself. In spite of her earlier comments, she still pays -- at least, she's pretty sure she pays -- because the next moment, they're at the mall, surrounded by its three fountains as she checks the cute watch on her wrist that Shinji had given her all those months ago.]
We still have a little bit before the club opens, so we can hit the arcade if you want!
no subject
He doubts that Kotone notices it yet and maybe the right thing to do is snap her out of it, but.
He wants to share this dream for her as long as possible, because it still counts as memories they formed, right? She's showing him her home, her favorite spots, and all that matters to him. Even if she seems to be aware on some level that things don't last, she's still enjoying days that should be impossible to her. This feels like something he wants to make real for her back home, even if the possibility seems so far away. How do you undo a seal without dooming the entire world with it? Difficult. Nearly impossible.
But as he looks at Kotone, it feels like he'd want to try anyway.]
Since you paid for lunch, I'll let you decide the first game. [His own smile is still small, but at least less forced.] Better not go easy on me; I'm basically the king of the arcade back in America.
no subject
[It seems so obvious when he says it, but she can't help being surprised! Usually everyone had something better to do, so when she was at the arcade, it was almost always by herself. She'd kind of assumed it would be similar here, where even if they were at the arcade together, they'd play their own separate games.]
I've never played a game with somebody before! [She's pretty sure, anyway. Wait, hadn't she played with Scott before...? No, that can't be right. Unless they really did meet before, there's no way she could have. Impulsively, she grabs his hand and pulls him into the arcade, looking around for whatever doesn't have a line.] Maybe you can pick, then. I'm only really good at single-player games.
no subject
[This feels easy at least. Lightly teasing her and getting those playful reactions in return. She still has that smile to her that always hints at something deeper, sadder, but sometimes it's less pronounced, like right now. Maybe, in this dream, he can get her to open up to him again. Feels like it should be easy since they've been together for so long, but Kotone is never easy.
At the very least, he'll still enjoy being with her. Because that's natural, no matter what. There's not a moment when he doesn't want to spend time with her, spend those limited hours, days, together because neither of them will know when it will end. Yes, it hurts, but being with Kotone is just that. Feeling his happiest, and also, feeling his saddest.
His hand curls in hers as she leads him to the arcade.]
Okay, we have to play Street Fighter 2.
[Or whatever the equivalent is here. He kind of finds it sad that she's only played single-player games before, like she didn't really take anyone here. Someone surely would've suggested to play a two-player game otherwise, right? Well, at least this gives him the chance to wipe the floor with her. He really won't go easy on her!!]
no subject
[Isn't that a little sad, the idea that none of her friends would come to the arcade with her? She doesn't think so, anyway, just shrugging and accepting it as is -- and with more than a little excitement that she actually gets to play games together with Scott. It makes it easier to ignore both the heaviness of their earlier conversation and the lingering feeling that something is terribly wrong, lurking in her peripheral vision. Like if she turns her head too quickly or looks the wrong way, it'll all disappear around her.
Anyway, is not one of her usual games, but for once there's no line for it. Lucky them! Since Scott said he's paying, she just bounces lightly on her feet with her hands clasped behind her back, waiting for him to put the coins into Steak Fighter 2.]
You'll have to teach me how to play. Oh, before we go to the club, you should try Horror House. It's good for your Courage!
no subject
Scott really has to hold back his sigh, because this is how his girlfriend is, even in a dream. Although seeing how excited she is now, he can't help but smile. Even if she never thought about it before, it's clear that she's happy at the thought of playing games with her friends-- with him and it's enough to push back his more sobering thoughts about Kotone. He really wants this to be a good time between them, he wants this to really last, until he has to tell her the truth and get out of here.
He wonders if Kotone would be upset with him for holding out this long, but he pushes that thought away. He'd never want to endanger her, so the first sign of anything truly going wrong, he'll try and wake them up. And if nothing happens... he plans on telling her after the club. Before it gets too dark.
But for right now, he's too busy picking out his character in Steak Fighter 2! Rib-eye it is!!]
Just mash the buttons. [He advises, because he's mean like that. Should he help Kotone out more? Nah. This is all part of the experience.] And why are you talking about Horror House like it's going to raise my stat? But sure, I'll try it. You got a high score for me to beat?