[Asahi's lips twitch into a Fandaniel's cruel smirk.]
Oh, not very many. A dozen or so. Mostly in my halcyon mortal days.
[He withdraws his hand from Viktor's chin and allows his wrist to hang loosely in the other man's grip.]
I forget what I was hoping to accomplish... Hm. Something to do with placing dragon eyes in my sockets I'm sure. I could have turned the tide of the war with such power.
[Not a greater wyrm's eyes, no. Not one of the First Brood. But a drake's? That could have been doable.]
Dragon's eyes will turn no tides and will only cause you problems. Believe me.
[ Given free reign with Fandaniel's hand, Viktor wastes no time guiding him by the wrist to Fandaniel's own face, and gently pap, pap, paps his cheek. This is entertaining for approximately five seconds before he stops, releasing Fandaniel's wrist to settle both arms behind the back of his head. Viktor relaxes now that he is no longer under threat of becoming ice, considering Fandaniel in full, now.
There are a hundred, hundred questions he could ask about what'd happened on their star before and after their fateful fight. A thousand, thousand things to tell him, to scream, 'til Viktor is hoarse and empty. He doesn't bother. ]
What was that sentencing you'd sk-skipped out on, then? Something particularly wretched?
[Fandaniel reaches out to nudge Viktor's chest with one knuckle.]
And cruel beyond measure!
The Council, you see, has demanded I move past my pain and find "hope".
[A miserable giggle is dragged from his chest as he smiles.]
Oh, folly!
[With a dramatic sigh, he throws his head back and lifts a hand to his brow, then pitches himself sideways from Viktor's lap. He hits the floor with a loud thud that knocks the air from his lungs before another cackling fit can rake over him.
In the brief moment he lies unobserved on the floor he allows genuine emotion to move across his face as gritted teeth and a cold, empty stare.
Find hope.
He doesn't deserve a sentencing like this. He deserves to be strung up in the city square and left dancing by his neck. He deserves to bleed out on cobbles. He is a monster and people do not redeem monsters, they kill them.
[ There is a strange sort of comfort in watching Fandaniel's theatrics, familiar, ridiculous. A flicker of that feeling, at least, swallowed up in guilt that sharpens at the sound of suddenly strangled laughter when he hits the floor.
Viktor is still only a moment before slipping out of the chair to sit beside him. ]
Stars. [ Not gods, not Fury or Matron or Thal. Not anymore. ] You are like a child. [ Said soft, barely louder than a whisper, none of the exasperation it should carry. Viktor pauses long enough to light chilly fingers on Fandaniel's arm. ]
Hope truly is a bitter tonic. But. 'Tis a t-task you've been set upon that needs must be done, aye? One that will be easier with aid, so- I will s-seek it with you.
[Fandaniel sits up on one arm and flaps a hand at Viktor, weakly waving away his touch.]
You will walk at my side and seek hope?
My, the great hero's benevolence truly knows no bounds!
[He leans towards Viktor until their noses touch and he can see the other man's eyes more clearly. A concerned gaze stares back at him.]
...Ah. I know what this is.
You've already confessed that you have been to Elpis. You could not save him, could you? Even the great Warrior of Warriors could not save Hermes from his fool self! So, you seek to do it through me, yes?
You have no care in your heart for me, you merely carry regrets for him.
[It's the only explanation that makes sense. Not even the Warrior of Light could sympathize with a creature as awful as Fandaniel. Hermes, however, was pitiful.]
That poor old fool does not deserve a second thought. Nor do I.
[With a breezy smile he lifts a hand to his chest and rests it over his heart.]
Someday soon, very soon, I'll die. I will take him with me. You shall never be absolved. So do not bother offering me your aid. I do not want it.
Do not to confuse me with Emet-Selch. I am not the one so hellsbent on yearning for something dead ten th-thousand years that I lose sight of what is.
[ Words leveled with no small amount of venom, but half again as much exhaustion.
Viktor sits back, hoping the hurt that crosses his features is not so obvious that Fandaniel can still spy it, but his scowl carves deep lines into an otherwise sweet, freckled face. ]
I think you and Hermes are both gobshite. In dreadful similar ways. But I do not sit before you seeking him.
[ The last time they'd danced toward this topic, Asahi had interrupted them. No time for rebuttals or second chances, places to not go, people to not be. Viktor feels no more prepared to have this talk now, even with months of distance, of time to think. Indignant anger makes a confetti popper of all his most careful ruminations.
An impossibly heavy sigh slips out of him, stealing the sharpness from his words. ]
I have had to kill i-iterations of you far more times than anyone should bloody have to do anything. [ Viktor flattens his own palm over the back of Fandaniel's hand, the one pressed over his heart. ] You can think it a fool's errand, you can laugh at me when I fail, but... just this once, would you p-please give me the chance to not participate in your death? To try and stop it?
[Fandaniel continues to smile an empty smile as Viktor speaks.]
Iterations of me, you say? How unfortunate that I can only recall the one death.
[He tilts his head, narrows his sightless eyes in the effort of deep thought.]
Mm. Or two, perhaps, if we are counting the untimely death of my clone.
Nevertheless, you slaughtered him with the same unhesitating heroism with which you slaughtered Zodiark. Me.
Whence came this new compassion?
[Filmy silver eyes dart downward at the hand pressed against his own. He shakes it loose as if trying to dislodge filth from his glove.]
Guilt, I suppose? Not for me, no, but perhaps for Emet-Selch and the other Unsundered? Do you see me as the Ascian you might yet save?
Oh! Maybe you feel remorse for poor Asahi for he, too, died before you did he not?
[Fandaniel allows the question to hang in the air before pressing on again.]
I am a monstrous amalgamation of your failures. I may not be able to see much, but I can see that. Poor you, mistaking me for someone kind enough to allow you a second chance.
Alas, your atonement, your expiation, shall we say, shall have to come from somewhere else.
[ Anger, hurt continue to chase the edges of Viktor's words, weigh his ears down so that they flop to either side of his head. A clown he may be, but a liar he is not; emotion hangs on him too plainly. ]
You are so h-hasty to push a pin into my motives. Why is that? Would you even listen, were I to give you the t-truth of it?
[ He wouldn't, Viktor is sure. Because it doesn't matter. Not to him.
And so, Viktor does not answer any of Fandaniel's questions, does not respond to his musings. He only stares, studies the ancient being set before him who, like every other very old being he has met before, both ancient or Ancient, longs relentlessly for a denied end.
Continue down this path and he will surely find himself in the position of sharpened blade pressed to a supple neck once more. How utterly dreadful. He'd rather not. Not again. And so he barely waits for a reply. ]
Amalgamation of my f-failures! Stars. You are a sad thing with a question that lingers because that head of yours is too loud with suppositions to h-hear the answer all around you. [ Shaken off, Viktor scoots away and climbs easily to his feet. ] Thank you for the assistance with the ice, Fandaniel. Should you find you have need of me, I've no doubt you'll s-sniff me out eventually.
[ He lingers a second longer, looming, then paces off toward the shelves in search of some book with more pictures than words to peruse until morning. What use is atonement when there is a whole new world to spend the wick of his life on? ]
[Fandaniel drags himself upward and stands much less easily than Viktor had. Pain from broken ribs, jostled by his short tumble from the other man's lap, shoots up his flanks bringing with it a low groan of pain. The groan quickly lapses into airy giggles.]
Ahahaha...
I am quite easy to find these days. I've a laboratorium on the outskirts of the city, near the fields. You will know the place when you see it, I've no doubt about that.
[He attempts to glare at Viktor but loses him among the stacks. The Warrior had offered him hope and he'd refused. Already he swears his vision has deteriorated even further from that refusal. The library before him is a kaleidoscope of shapes and colors with no distinct form or meaning. Only movement suggests where Viktor might be.]
When you find it, follow the screams. I will likely be prying the eyes from some poor soul's skull, awful man that I am.
[Another pained giggle, then he vanishes in a swirl of shadows.]
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expiationlogs2024-12-09 08:17 am
no subject
Oh, not very many. A dozen or so. Mostly in my halcyon mortal days.
[He withdraws his hand from Viktor's chin and allows his wrist to hang loosely in the other man's grip.]
I forget what I was hoping to accomplish... Hm. Something to do with placing dragon eyes in my sockets I'm sure. I could have turned the tide of the war with such power.
[Not a greater wyrm's eyes, no. Not one of the First Brood. But a drake's? That could have been doable.]
no subject
[ Given free reign with Fandaniel's hand, Viktor wastes no time guiding him by the wrist to Fandaniel's own face, and gently pap, pap, paps his cheek. This is entertaining for approximately five seconds before he stops, releasing Fandaniel's wrist to settle both arms behind the back of his head. Viktor relaxes now that he is no longer under threat of becoming ice, considering Fandaniel in full, now.
There are a hundred, hundred questions he could ask about what'd happened on their star before and after their fateful fight. A thousand, thousand things to tell him, to scream, 'til Viktor is hoarse and empty. He doesn't bother. ]
What was that sentencing you'd sk-skipped out on, then? Something particularly wretched?
cw: suicidal ideation
[Fandaniel reaches out to nudge Viktor's chest with one knuckle.]
And cruel beyond measure!
The Council, you see, has demanded I move past my pain and find "hope".
[A miserable giggle is dragged from his chest as he smiles.]
Oh, folly!
[With a dramatic sigh, he throws his head back and lifts a hand to his brow, then pitches himself sideways from Viktor's lap. He hits the floor with a loud thud that knocks the air from his lungs before another cackling fit can rake over him.
In the brief moment he lies unobserved on the floor he allows genuine emotion to move across his face as gritted teeth and a cold, empty stare.
Find hope.
He doesn't deserve a sentencing like this. He deserves to be strung up in the city square and left dancing by his neck. He deserves to bleed out on cobbles. He is a monster and people do not redeem monsters, they kill them.
...Why has it been so damnably hard to just die?]
no subject
Viktor is still only a moment before slipping out of the chair to sit beside him. ]
Stars. [ Not gods, not Fury or Matron or Thal. Not anymore. ] You are like a child. [ Said soft, barely louder than a whisper, none of the exasperation it should carry. Viktor pauses long enough to light chilly fingers on Fandaniel's arm. ]
Hope truly is a bitter tonic. But. 'Tis a t-task you've been set upon that needs must be done, aye? One that will be easier with aid, so- I will s-seek it with you.
no subject
You will walk at my side and seek hope?
My, the great hero's benevolence truly knows no bounds!
[He leans towards Viktor until their noses touch and he can see the other man's eyes more clearly. A concerned gaze stares back at him.]
...Ah. I know what this is.
You've already confessed that you have been to Elpis. You could not save him, could you? Even the great Warrior of Warriors could not save Hermes from his fool self! So, you seek to do it through me, yes?
You have no care in your heart for me, you merely carry regrets for him.
[It's the only explanation that makes sense. Not even the Warrior of Light could sympathize with a creature as awful as Fandaniel. Hermes, however, was pitiful.]
That poor old fool does not deserve a second thought. Nor do I.
[With a breezy smile he lifts a hand to his chest and rests it over his heart.]
Someday soon, very soon, I'll die. I will take him with me. You shall never be absolved. So do not bother offering me your aid. I do not want it.
no subject
[ Words leveled with no small amount of venom, but half again as much exhaustion.
Viktor sits back, hoping the hurt that crosses his features is not so obvious that Fandaniel can still spy it, but his scowl carves deep lines into an otherwise sweet, freckled face. ]
I think you and Hermes are both gobshite. In dreadful similar ways. But I do not sit before you seeking him.
[ The last time they'd danced toward this topic, Asahi had interrupted them. No time for rebuttals or second chances, places to not go, people to not be. Viktor feels no more prepared to have this talk now, even with months of distance, of time to think. Indignant anger makes a confetti popper of all his most careful ruminations.
An impossibly heavy sigh slips out of him, stealing the sharpness from his words. ]
I have had to kill i-iterations of you far more times than anyone should bloody have to do anything. [ Viktor flattens his own palm over the back of Fandaniel's hand, the one pressed over his heart. ] You can think it a fool's errand, you can laugh at me when I fail, but... just this once, would you p-please give me the chance to not participate in your death? To try and stop it?
no subject
Iterations of me, you say? How unfortunate that I can only recall the one death.
[He tilts his head, narrows his sightless eyes in the effort of deep thought.]
Mm. Or two, perhaps, if we are counting the untimely death of my clone.
Nevertheless, you slaughtered him with the same unhesitating heroism with which you slaughtered Zodiark. Me.
Whence came this new compassion?
[Filmy silver eyes dart downward at the hand pressed against his own. He shakes it loose as if trying to dislodge filth from his glove.]
Guilt, I suppose? Not for me, no, but perhaps for Emet-Selch and the other Unsundered? Do you see me as the Ascian you might yet save?
Oh! Maybe you feel remorse for poor Asahi for he, too, died before you did he not?
[Fandaniel allows the question to hang in the air before pressing on again.]
I am a monstrous amalgamation of your failures. I may not be able to see much, but I can see that. Poor you, mistaking me for someone kind enough to allow you a second chance.
Alas, your atonement, your expiation, shall we say, shall have to come from somewhere else.
no subject
You are so h-hasty to push a pin into my motives. Why is that? Would you even listen, were I to give you the t-truth of it?
[ He wouldn't, Viktor is sure. Because it doesn't matter. Not to him.
And so, Viktor does not answer any of Fandaniel's questions, does not respond to his musings. He only stares, studies the ancient being set before him who, like every other very old being he has met before, both ancient or Ancient, longs relentlessly for a denied end.
Continue down this path and he will surely find himself in the position of sharpened blade pressed to a supple neck once more. How utterly dreadful. He'd rather not. Not again. And so he barely waits for a reply. ]
Amalgamation of my f-failures! Stars. You are a sad thing with a question that lingers because that head of yours is too loud with suppositions to h-hear the answer all around you. [ Shaken off, Viktor scoots away and climbs easily to his feet. ] Thank you for the assistance with the ice, Fandaniel. Should you find you have need of me, I've no doubt you'll s-sniff me out eventually.
[ He lingers a second longer, looming, then paces off toward the shelves in search of some book with more pictures than words to peruse until morning. What use is atonement when there is a whole new world to spend the wick of his life on? ]
cw: implied eye gore
[Fandaniel drags himself upward and stands much less easily than Viktor had. Pain from broken ribs, jostled by his short tumble from the other man's lap, shoots up his flanks bringing with it a low groan of pain. The groan quickly lapses into airy giggles.]
Ahahaha...
I am quite easy to find these days. I've a laboratorium on the outskirts of the city, near the fields. You will know the place when you see it, I've no doubt about that.
[He attempts to glare at Viktor but loses him among the stacks. The Warrior had offered him hope and he'd refused. Already he swears his vision has deteriorated even further from that refusal. The library before him is a kaleidoscope of shapes and colors with no distinct form or meaning. Only movement suggests where Viktor might be.]
When you find it, follow the screams. I will likely be prying the eyes from some poor soul's skull, awful man that I am.
[Another pained giggle, then he vanishes in a swirl of shadows.]