[ It's couched in flowery language, sounds like something out of a futuristic play, but Root quickly grasps the point beneath what Visas is saying. She'd felt so much the same. ]
The universe is infinite and chaotic and cold, right? [ she asks in a tone of agreement, voice turning quieter as she quotes herself, a conversation she'd had with Harold that she still thinks about regularly. ] I believed that, too. Until I met her.
[ She gets it -- and she gets how it feels to suddenly be without her direction, but from long before she'd arrived here. Root has had to live as the Machine's hand in the world without her voice or direct guidance so many times by now. It's not that it got easier, but she got more confident in doing it as she went along. And she'd gone directly against the Machine's words several times to boot, when it was wise and when it was unwise, things she regretted and things she absolutely doesn't. She's not a puppet; she's a partner.
Challenging, ] You can still follow her even if she's not here. Or do you not know what she'd want you to do?
[ Root can't know what the Machine would want from her with her usual specificity and direction, her blind faith in following her carrying her through; but she can know in principle what she'd want from her, and that has to be enough. ]
[Visas looks down. What would the Exile want her to do... Visas has been trying, inexpertly, to do what the Exile herself would do. Protect people from monsters, restrain her hand from violence unless entirely necessary. But there was so much more to the Exile than that... her intuition, her strength, her ability to connect with others.
Visas lacks those things. In the company of the Exile it was easy to follow her lead, almost instinctual. But she cannot work the Exile's will without her here.
But then, would the Exile want that? She had always been uncomfortable with Visas' desire to serve.]
...I knew her well enough that I can try. And I have been trying. But I know I am not as good at such things as she was.
Well, of course. We wouldn't need them if we could figure this out on our own. I miss the Machine every day.
[ Root speaks with aching, simple honesty. She's comfortable acting independently by now, but she never likes it. She smiles just faintly at Visas in empathy. ]
But if we can only follow them when they're right next to us, have we really changed?
They trust us, believe in us. Trying is enough, Visas. You don't need anyone else.
[ She'd welcome her into the Machine's following, make it a cult of two, if she wanted. But Root doesn't think that's what she needs, not with her own understanding of how these doubles work. And maybe she's assuming too much about the Exile here, but so far it's only served her well with Visas, so she keeps going. ]
[In a similar way, the more Visas talks to Root, the more convinced she is that she would have been a follower of the Jedi Exile if she had been born into the same Galaxy. A person with a dark past struggling towards the light, however much of it is hidden beneath the confident demeanor.
And to hear Root admit her own longing for her lodestar... helps. It helps to know that Visas isn't the only one lost and lonely.]
...I thought I had changed, by devoting myself to her. She is the opposite in every way to my old Master.
no subject
The universe is infinite and chaotic and cold, right? [ she asks in a tone of agreement, voice turning quieter as she quotes herself, a conversation she'd had with Harold that she still thinks about regularly. ] I believed that, too. Until I met her.
[ She gets it -- and she gets how it feels to suddenly be without her direction, but from long before she'd arrived here. Root has had to live as the Machine's hand in the world without her voice or direct guidance so many times by now. It's not that it got easier, but she got more confident in doing it as she went along. And she'd gone directly against the Machine's words several times to boot, when it was wise and when it was unwise, things she regretted and things she absolutely doesn't. She's not a puppet; she's a partner.
Challenging, ] You can still follow her even if she's not here. Or do you not know what she'd want you to do?
[ Root can't know what the Machine would want from her with her usual specificity and direction, her blind faith in following her carrying her through; but she can know in principle what she'd want from her, and that has to be enough. ]
no subject
Visas lacks those things. In the company of the Exile it was easy to follow her lead, almost instinctual. But she cannot work the Exile's will without her here.
But then, would the Exile want that? She had always been uncomfortable with Visas' desire to serve.]
...I knew her well enough that I can try. And I have been trying. But I know I am not as good at such things as she was.
no subject
[ Root speaks with aching, simple honesty. She's comfortable acting independently by now, but she never likes it. She smiles just faintly at Visas in empathy. ]
But if we can only follow them when they're right next to us, have we really changed?
They trust us, believe in us. Trying is enough, Visas. You don't need anyone else.
[ She'd welcome her into the Machine's following, make it a cult of two, if she wanted. But Root doesn't think that's what she needs, not with her own understanding of how these doubles work. And maybe she's assuming too much about the Exile here, but so far it's only served her well with Visas, so she keeps going. ]
no subject
And to hear Root admit her own longing for her lodestar... helps. It helps to know that Visas isn't the only one lost and lonely.]
...I thought I had changed, by devoting myself to her. She is the opposite in every way to my old Master.