Back in your home, perhaps! What is common to you is less so to me.
Oh, I have seen strange things attached in the place of heads...
[He gestures around vaguely with the pistol]
Inorganic objects, however? You are my first!
So... The way I see it...
You can offer up your head for my study or I shall blow my own head off from the tedium of being left alone with yonder shadow. Come morning one of us will have much lighter shoulders!
[Behind him, his shadow self drifts forward.]
So? What to you say? Care to make my evening more interesting?
< No. I'm not giving you my head. Period. Throwing a tantrum to try and convince me isn't going to work either. >
[The tightrope frays, nearly gone, and Dante is well aware that they both hold the knife that cut into it. But they've heard far more convincing arguments for their head than that, and a threat like this is going to receive all the respect from them it deserves.]
Still, the tension never quite leaves their shoulders, even after the gun is gone.]
< I don't think this counts as a vacation. >
[For multiple reasons.
They look to the shadow. It seems... calm, compared to Fandaniel, which wouldn't be much of a surprise except for the fact that it appears to be connected to him in some way.]
< Anyway, I'm not leaving you alone unless you try and go after my head again. I can even see about talking with your, uh, "thoughts" too. >
[A rather weak protest--if only because they can't deny that they technically may have been the cause of it.
There's another moment's pause as they examine the sight before them. A shadow reaching out for the real Fandaniel, wanting him. Meanwhile, Fandaniel would prefer to ignore it at all costs--all costs.
The flow surrounding Fandaniel seems murky and still. Like stagnant water--not much of a flow at all. As such, the path forward seems equally obscured. But as they stare at the glyph in the shadows, a question comes to mind. Something they've been wondering for awhile, actually.]
< ...Can I ask a question? Why do you call yourself "Fandaniel?" >
[Fandaniel crosses his arms, pulling his fingers loose from the grasp of the phantom hand at his side.]
Why do you call yourself "Dante"?
[As he speaks he glances back at his shade and the glyph within it, the glyph that is his title and the closest thing he's had to a name for thousands of years.]
[It is the sound of a ticking clock that he hears, but meaning forms in his mind as if through the Echo and it speaks his name. His real name.
On rare occasions, he's spoken it himself but feeling it spoken by another being tenses him. Knots of strange emotions snarl in his stomach. Hate, anger, nostalgia, longing...
His face settles in a breezy grin but one hand clenches into a fist.]
Is it?
Oh, I suppose it was. Many, many years ago. Thousands in fact!
'Twas another lifetime. "Amon" is a name I've long since discarded.
[Which still doesn't explain why he calls himself "Fandaniel"]
< Then... what do you want to be called? You said something about being the one to take the final bow in the lab that day. So why stick to something you didn't want in the first place? Who do you want to be? >
[Fandaniel bats his eyelashes coquettishly. One hand flutters to his chest.]
I care little for what others call me. "Fandaniel" is as good an appellation as any. It has a charming whimsy to it!
Besides...
[He prowls forward and stops an inch from Dante then, with a small grin, he hooks an arm around their shoulders. With his free hand, he holds his fingers to his temple, thumb elevated, suggesting a gun.]
All I want to be is dead. Care to do me the honor?
< It means something different to everyone, and you say you want to die, but you also wanted to preserve your soul and remain yourself. To die, but not necessarily fade away... or something like that. >
[Complex and contradictory--or maybe only contradictory from their perspective. A very limited perspective, they'll admit, comparing their year to Fandaniels' thousands.]
[A spiteful performance is not the worst way to describe The Final Days. Etheirys witnessed all of his thespian talent wrapped into a spectacular explosion of mass suffering.]
My death is a final statement about the vulgarity of existence itself.
[As he speaks, he busies his hands with straightening Dante's tie. Behind him, shadows darken.]
[There's a part of them that wants to argue over whether or not there's truth to that statement. But they have some idea of what he's seen and done, and they know what they've seen of their own world. And with one year to his thousands, they can't help but think that any argument they could make would seem... hollow.
They've been watching as he adjusts their tie, just in case, but at the edge of their vision they catch the deepening shadows, and they lift their head to look past him. Their ticking quickens, insistent.]
cw: suicidal ideation used in a pretty gross way
Oh, I have seen strange things attached in the place of heads...
[He gestures around vaguely with the pistol]
Inorganic objects, however? You are my first!
So... The way I see it...
You can offer up your head for my study or I shall blow my own head off from the tedium of being left alone with yonder shadow. Come morning one of us will have much lighter shoulders!
[Behind him, his shadow self drifts forward.]
So? What to you say? Care to make my evening more interesting?
no subject
[The tightrope frays, nearly gone, and Dante is well aware that they both hold the knife that cut into it. But they've heard far more convincing arguments for their head than that, and a threat like this is going to receive all the respect from them it deserves.]
cw: suicidal ideation/suicidal reference
Well, this is more fun.
Fandaniel's eyes widen and shine as he wills a few unshed tears into them.]
Oh! Oh how wounded I am!
[He staggers backwards and clutches his chest.]
You care not at all for my wellbeing and would sentence my night to one of drudgery with only this miserable creature for companionship.
[A creature that is the representation of...]
My thoughts! You leave me alone with my thoughts.
[With a mad giggle, he lifts the pistol to the side of his head. He is enjoying the theatrical absurdity of the moment far too much now.]
Bang!
[He squeezes the trigger.
The pistol sparks and a small colorful flag unfurls from its muzzle with "bullet" written across it in Eorzean script.
Fandaniel shrugs and the pistol dissipates into aether.]
Well, that was a fun little vacation from sanity, wasn't it?
no subject
Still, the tension never quite leaves their shoulders, even after the gun is gone.]
< I don't think this counts as a vacation. >
[For multiple reasons.
They look to the shadow. It seems... calm, compared to Fandaniel, which wouldn't be much of a surprise except for the fact that it appears to be connected to him in some way.]
< Anyway, I'm not leaving you alone unless you try and go after my head again. I can even see about talking with your, uh, "thoughts" too. >
no subject
You do understand that when you say you refuse to leave me alone it sounds like a threat?
[From the edge of his gaze he notices the scarlet glyph of his tormentor flashing aggressively.]
It does not seem to approve of your meddling, either...
Which, of course, makes me very interested in what you might say to it....
no subject
[They joke, but before they can say much more, the shadow's glyph flashes, drawing their eye.]
< I figure I should start with the basics first. What is it you want? >
[A simple question, asked cautiously. They've still got a wound in their shoulder from the last of these things they encountered.]
no subject
Fandaniel feels something like a hand glide down his forearm and grasp his fingers but when he looks down there is nothing there.
I want... him.
The voiceless words radiate outward into their minds.
Without looking up, the Ascian knows the creature's attention is focused upon him. He also knows what this means.
This shade wants him, wants his attention, wants his love and acceptance. Well, he thinks, he refuses to give it. He refuses to love himself.]
Between this and that Fathom of yours, I am wondering if you enjoy communing with my thoughts?
no subject
[A rather weak protest--if only because they can't deny that they technically may have been the cause of it.
There's another moment's pause as they examine the sight before them. A shadow reaching out for the real Fandaniel, wanting him. Meanwhile, Fandaniel would prefer to ignore it at all costs--all costs.
The flow surrounding Fandaniel seems murky and still. Like stagnant water--not much of a flow at all. As such, the path forward seems equally obscured. But as they stare at the glyph in the shadows, a question comes to mind. Something they've been wondering for awhile, actually.]
< ...Can I ask a question? Why do you call yourself "Fandaniel?" >
no subject
[Fandaniel crosses his arms, pulling his fingers loose from the grasp of the phantom hand at his side.]
Why do you call yourself "Dante"?
[As he speaks he glances back at his shade and the glyph within it, the glyph that is his title and the closest thing he's had to a name for thousands of years.]
no subject
no subject
On rare occasions, he's spoken it himself but feeling it spoken by another being tenses him. Knots of strange emotions snarl in his stomach. Hate, anger, nostalgia, longing...
His face settles in a breezy grin but one hand clenches into a fist.]
Is it?
Oh, I suppose it was. Many, many years ago. Thousands in fact!
'Twas another lifetime. "Amon" is a name I've long since discarded.
[Which still doesn't explain why he calls himself "Fandaniel"]
no subject
< Okay. So "Fandaniel" is the name that you've chosen. And you don't want to be called "Amon." >
[...is what it sounds like, but Dante can't help but feel like there are pieces missing.]
no subject
[Fandaniel chirps.]
no subject
< Then... what do you want to be called? You said something about being the one to take the final bow in the lab that day. So why stick to something you didn't want in the first place? Who do you want to be? >
cw: suicidal ideation
[Fandaniel bats his eyelashes coquettishly. One hand flutters to his chest.]
I care little for what others call me. "Fandaniel" is as good an appellation as any. It has a charming whimsy to it!
Besides...
[He prowls forward and stops an inch from Dante then, with a small grin, he hooks an arm around their shoulders. With his free hand, he holds his fingers to his temple, thumb elevated, suggesting a gun.]
All I want to be is dead. Care to do me the honor?
cw: suicidal ideation
< Not particularly. >
[They will if they have to, but that doesn't mean they want it. Still, that leaves them with the question they've never asked.]
< ...Why? What does death mean to you? >
[They can guess, given what they've seen. But they'd rather hear it directly from him.]
cw: suicidal ideation
[His voice drops into a purr but he cannot he hide the giggle beneath it.]
Not having to be alive anymore! What else would it mean?
cw: suicidal ideation
All things those who had sought death one way or another had desired. Death had never been the goal, but a means to an end.]
< There's no other word that comes to mind? Nothing else that death would give you but itself? >
cw: suicidal ideation
Need death grant me more?
[He chirps and unhooks his arm from Dante's shoulders.]
We all die. My aim is to do it sooner than later.
Why are you so curious?
cw: suicidal ideation
[Complex and contradictory--or maybe only contradictory from their perspective. A very limited perspective, they'll admit, comparing their year to Fandaniels' thousands.]
< I'm just trying to understand. >
cw: suicidal ideation
Imagine the alternative! Fading not into nothingness but into the simulation. I'll not become a mere stage prop for another's show.
My death must be spectacular.
[His smile grows, then he reaches out and pokes Dante's hand shaft.]
Boop!
cw: suicidal ideation
[They lean back, trying to swat Fandaniel's hand away with their own.
They're serious about trying to understand! ...So it should be expected that Fandaniel is, of course, not.
They check both hour and minute hand to make sure nothing's been stuck to them, then promptly stuff both their hands into their pockets.]
< So If I'm hearing you right, it's somewhere between a performance and spite. >
cw: suicidal ideation
[A spiteful performance is not the worst way to describe The Final Days. Etheirys witnessed all of his thespian talent wrapped into a spectacular explosion of mass suffering.]
My death is a final statement about the vulgarity of existence itself.
[As he speaks, he busies his hands with straightening Dante's tie. Behind him, shadows darken.]
cw: suicidal ideation
They've been watching as he adjusts their tie, just in case, but at the edge of their vision they catch the deepening shadows, and they lift their head to look past him. Their ticking quickens, insistent.]
< Behind you! >