[Why, indeed? It's not like Dazai owes Nikolai anything, especially when he is part of the group that has caused the Agency's current fall from grace. In the end, the reason is stupidly sentimental: Because Dazai knows how it feels to lose something you can never recover from.
Dazai closes his eyes, strangely serious for once.]
Who knows? Maybe it's because we both have something that we lack, that we can't help but to search for it to the point of madness.
[Perhaps he has learned to be kind after all, to let Nikolai feel what he feels.]
I simply think that there are other ways. There will always be other reasons one can live for.
[It can be something. Anything. No matter what it is, it definitely exists.]
[...They'd found a tentative common ground once. An uncanny understanding between them both. Then, for a time, Nikolai had been free of it... This Dazai doesn't know that of course; although the recurrence settles a funny twisting feeling somewhere within Nikolai's innards that remains even as he speaks up like it isn't there.]
I suppose so. [and if his gaze softens and he acquiesces faster than can be expected because of it, let it be an unimportant enough detail not to notice- he puts up two fingers: the index and thumb finger. It makes a backwards L shape.]
In celebration of that promising outlook let's play a questions game... Don't you wonder where you are? Now then, any two questions you ask I promise to answer without lying.
[There's never a dull and unexaggerated moment between these two, is there?
Now, the real question is: what to ask? Nothing that anybody else could answer, surely - someone else would be able to tell him about the matters of this city soon enough, as well as the strange phenomena that is occurs in here. No, what's most valuable in here is Nikolai's own opinion and perceptions.
Wouldn't that make for a more exciting quiz show?]
If you're offering, then I'll take it! The first I must ask, how have you been doing in this world? And as for the second -
What do you know of the other Dazai who came here before?
[He laughs- pleasantly surprised into the sound by the first question.]
Ha-ha, ha! Polite of you to spare one of your limited questions on a 'how are you!' Hmm, well! Let's start with that one then.
[One finger goes down once Nikolai begins to answer the first question.]
I've been around for a very long time now. It can be unfortunate sometimes and downright silly at other times. Because this place— [A tap-tap to his temple with the remaining held up finger.] ...it likes to get in your head! Even a great magician can't avoid getting swept along. Now then, for your second question!
[The second and last finger begins to inch downwards to suggest the second question is about to be used up too. Looking to see if there's even a hint of surprise on Dazai's face he continues on quite conversationally.]
Since it seems no one else has told you that you've been here twice I'll let you choose which I tell you about. Will it be the second or the first?
[Dazai blinks for just a small moment, and that is the extent of the surprise you'll be getting from him. The fact that he has been here more than once was a possibility he expected, although hearing it as confirmation does have its unique tone to it.
As for his smile - it remains intact, as if they are both politely discussing the weather.]
Looks like you have been doing well, despite how long you have been caged in here. That's good to know!
[In fact, Nikolai has been more accommodating that he expected. He wasn't expecting an exact number, or the chance to follow up on one of his questions.]
The one who stayed here longer then, please. The last thing I would want is to be caught unawares by my own shadow.
Oh my, it's a real shame that you didn't want to play along with my guessing game today?! Whatever will I do now? ...Well, I'll still tell you the answer of course.
[Lips purse, somewhat displeased at the observation of his caged status. But it's not exactly wrong. Just a sore spot as they say. He recently came to enjoy a loosening of some shackles he'd managed to earn during his time here so there is at least that. The expression is a swiftly passing one at any rate.]
Oh, but I do know more than I could ever tell with only one question. Today I'll reveal that Dazai Osamu became involved with making a difference and taking in a couple of troubled youths while here. [A twirling of an index finger pointed upwards.] There's also a certain bar I think you'll find familiar~
1/2 (there's so much of these in this thread lmao)
We can play another game some other time, but right now I'm in need of information. It wouldn't be fun if we're not on an evening playing field, no?
[There's no need for him to be gentle with Nikolai. He has been quite pleasant, and based on their current interaction he can posit that they have been grown familiar with the previous Dazai. However, this Dazai does not need to carry the same sentiment: he is, at the end of the day, one of the people responsible for the Agency's current downfall.
He may have no quarrel with the clown, but he doesn't need to play along for his amusement, either.]
[And yet, he cannot mask the more pronounced surprise that comes with Nikolai’s second revelation. Even as he tries to recover his composure, the fact is that the shock is enough for Dazai’s eyes to widen, even just for a moment.
…That does sound like something he would do, and he can’t help but be proud of the previous Dazai, no matter how narcissistic that sounds. It simply meant that he was able to uphold his promise, even in another world.
But what makes for a larger surprise is —]
My, we must have ended up being close if you ended up learning about that bar.
[It’s not a secret, but he has never told anybody else in the present about Lupin. It’s a remnant of the past, and thus Dazai associates it with the past. He can’t help but feel vulnerable suddenly, knowing that Nikolai has learned about that place from a source that wasn’t exactly him.]
Yes we've done a great job at making a really unfortunate staircase.
I wonder? It would be boring if I gave away too much! Still, how difficult it'll be to ever know the truth about back then when all there is left now is a wicked clown.
[What begins off as a facsimile of a comforting coo, jocular in sound, provides words a little too discomforting in nature to truly fulfill that intent. Gogol pantomimes zipping his grinning mouth closed and thus comes an end to the two free question game they were playing.
Being tight lipped then too Dazai had not really told him much about Bar Lupin. For the most part he'd enjoyed observing the man's interaction with it while he had been here and running it. That little stumble in composure now causes a stab of delight in Nikolai; he's not about to offer any more information and compromise this fun little unknown he has over the detective.]
I've got an observation to share with you. Do you want to hear it?
But you're not so wicked now, are you? You have been fair this entire time, after all.
[Nikolai has yet to lie, for one. Devious he might be, but so far the games he has played against Dazai have all been extremely fair.
Dazai would admit - he is not too fond of the upper hand Nikolai has over him. It seemed like a natural existence for the man to be hard to interpret by others. Now here he is, with a blind spot he did not expect having.
It's alright. He doesn't need to be reliant on Nikolai when it comes to information gathering - it's why all of his questions were specifically about the clown, after all.]
Now now, Gogol. You've already offered - of course I'd like to hear what you have to say.
I have my moments?! How else could I keep someone very smart like you or Dos on your tippy toes? ...Although, come to think of it, I can't imagine that you haven't had what I did to the agency in the back of your mind all this time.
[Gogol circles around where Dazai stands in place. Each jaunty step follows a heel-to-toe cadence. Supposedly this is a man who is unburdened by a conscience.]
Now, now, that tiger— did you see it? [He starts with a chuckle on his breath. For the moment it becomes difficult to look at the face he wears because the clown stops his march behind Dazai with a clack of two feet snapping to press together.]
That's your tigerboy isn't it? ...Whoops, silly me. That's actually not an observation. It's a question now isn't it?
The agency was able to get out of that mess on their own, no? Besides, I had someone else taking all of my attention at the time.
[Dazai stays in place at the meantime, the sun to Nikolai's satellite object. But those dark eyes follow every slight of his movement, like a black that absorbs every color of the world.]
That's Atsushi-kun, alright. But you must have noticed by now that it's not the Atsushi-kun you have encountered in the past.
[Even Dazai's poker face has its flaws under the eyes of someone smart enough to see it. To encounter a different version of his protegee lay outside of his expectations.]
The were, were they? I wouldn't know. Well, if that's true then that's admirable.
[Smiling with a closed mouth because Nikolai's knows he's got that undivided attention he circles over to Dazai's side. He bends at the waist sideways to come further into view and to make eye contact.]
I'll admit that I'm quite surprised that you'd offer up that information so quickly. When I myself wasn't sure if he was merely happy to see me again.
[Listen? It 100% makes sense that the tiger would leap at him with intent to harm even under normal circumstances.]
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expiationlogs2024-10-14 08:59 am
no subject
Dazai closes his eyes, strangely serious for once.]
Who knows? Maybe it's because we both have something that we lack, that we can't help but to search for it to the point of madness.
[Perhaps he has learned to be kind after all, to let Nikolai feel what he feels.]
I simply think that there are other ways. There will always be other reasons one can live for.
[It can be something. Anything. No matter what it is, it definitely exists.]
no subject
I suppose so. [and if his gaze softens and he acquiesces faster than can be expected because of it, let it be an unimportant enough detail not to notice- he puts up two fingers: the index and thumb finger. It makes a backwards L shape.]
In celebration of that promising outlook let's play a questions game... Don't you wonder where you are? Now then, any two questions you ask I promise to answer without lying.
no subject
[There's never a dull and unexaggerated moment between these two, is there?
Now, the real question is: what to ask? Nothing that anybody else could answer, surely - someone else would be able to tell him about the matters of this city soon enough, as well as the strange phenomena that is occurs in here. No, what's most valuable in here is Nikolai's own opinion and perceptions.
Wouldn't that make for a more exciting quiz show?]
If you're offering, then I'll take it! The first I must ask, how have you been doing in this world? And as for the second -
What do you know of the other Dazai who came here before?
1/2
Ha-ha, ha! Polite of you to spare one of your limited questions on a 'how are you!' Hmm, well! Let's start with that one then.
[One finger goes down once Nikolai begins to answer the first question.]
I've been around for a very long time now. It can be unfortunate sometimes and downright silly at other times. Because this place— [A tap-tap to his temple with the remaining held up finger.] ...it likes to get in your head! Even a great magician can't avoid getting swept along. Now then, for your second question!
no subject
[The second and last finger begins to inch downwards to suggest the second question is about to be used up too. Looking to see if there's even a hint of surprise on Dazai's face he continues on quite conversationally.]
Since it seems no one else has told you that you've been here twice I'll let you choose which I tell you about. Will it be the second or the first?
no subject
As for his smile - it remains intact, as if they are both politely discussing the weather.]
Looks like you have been doing well, despite how long you have been caged in here. That's good to know!
[In fact, Nikolai has been more accommodating that he expected. He wasn't expecting an exact number, or the chance to follow up on one of his questions.]
The one who stayed here longer then, please. The last thing I would want is to be caught unawares by my own shadow.
no subject
[Lips purse, somewhat displeased at the observation of his caged status. But it's not exactly wrong. Just a sore spot as they say. He recently came to enjoy a loosening of some shackles he'd managed to earn during his time here so there is at least that. The expression is a swiftly passing one at any rate.]
Oh, but I do know more than I could ever tell with only one question. Today I'll reveal that Dazai Osamu became involved with making a difference and taking in a couple of troubled youths while here. [A twirling of an index finger pointed upwards.] There's also a certain bar I think you'll find familiar~
1/2 (there's so much of these in this thread lmao)
[There's no need for him to be gentle with Nikolai. He has been quite pleasant, and based on their current interaction he can posit that they have been grown familiar with the previous Dazai. However, this Dazai does not need to carry the same sentiment: he is, at the end of the day, one of the people responsible for the Agency's current downfall.
He may have no quarrel with the clown, but he doesn't need to play along for his amusement, either.]
2/2
…That does sound like something he would do, and he can’t help but be proud of the previous Dazai, no matter how narcissistic that sounds. It simply meant that he was able to uphold his promise, even in another world.
But what makes for a larger surprise is —]
My, we must have ended up being close if you ended up learning about that bar.
[It’s not a secret, but he has never told anybody else in the present about Lupin. It’s a remnant of the past, and thus Dazai associates it with the past. He can’t help but feel vulnerable suddenly, knowing that Nikolai has learned about that place from a source that wasn’t exactly him.]
Yes we've done a great job at making a really unfortunate staircase.
[What begins off as a facsimile of a comforting coo, jocular in sound, provides words a little too discomforting in nature to truly fulfill that intent. Gogol pantomimes zipping his grinning mouth closed and thus comes an end to the two free question game they were playing.
Being tight lipped then too Dazai had not really told him much about Bar Lupin. For the most part he'd enjoyed observing the man's interaction with it while he had been here and running it. That little stumble in composure now causes a stab of delight in Nikolai; he's not about to offer any more information and compromise this fun little unknown he has over the detective.]
I've got an observation to share with you. Do you want to hear it?
no subject
[Nikolai has yet to lie, for one. Devious he might be, but so far the games he has played against Dazai have all been extremely fair.
Dazai would admit - he is not too fond of the upper hand Nikolai has over him. It seemed like a natural existence for the man to be hard to interpret by others. Now here he is, with a blind spot he did not expect having.
It's alright. He doesn't need to be reliant on Nikolai when it comes to information gathering - it's why all of his questions were specifically about the clown, after all.]
Now now, Gogol. You've already offered - of course I'd like to hear what you have to say.
no subject
[Gogol circles around where Dazai stands in place. Each jaunty step follows a heel-to-toe cadence. Supposedly this is a man who is unburdened by a conscience.]
Now, now, that tiger— did you see it? [He starts with a chuckle on his breath. For the moment it becomes difficult to look at the face he wears because the clown stops his march behind Dazai with a clack of two feet snapping to press together.]
That's your tigerboy isn't it? ...Whoops, silly me. That's actually not an observation. It's a question now isn't it?
no subject
[Dazai stays in place at the meantime, the sun to Nikolai's satellite object. But those dark eyes follow every slight of his movement, like a black that absorbs every color of the world.]
That's Atsushi-kun, alright. But you must have noticed by now that it's not the Atsushi-kun you have encountered in the past.
[Even Dazai's poker face has its flaws under the eyes of someone smart enough to see it. To encounter a different version of his protegee lay outside of his expectations.]
no subject
The were, were they? I wouldn't know. Well, if that's true then that's admirable.
[Smiling with a closed mouth because Nikolai's knows he's got that undivided attention he circles over to Dazai's side. He bends at the waist sideways to come further into view and to make eye contact.]
I'll admit that I'm quite surprised that you'd offer up that information so quickly. When I myself wasn't sure if he was merely happy to see me again.
[Listen? It 100% makes sense that the tiger would leap at him with intent to harm even under normal circumstances.]