[ She really truly would not and does not get it. ]
So why does Sephy get all the old man behavior? [ Toph would be peering at him in curiosity if that was a behavior she'd ever learned. Also: now Vincent gets to learn Toph's nickname for Sephiroth. He'd said to treat him like someone her age, so she sure did. ]
Not that I want you to go around checking on things for me, but just saying, nobody else gets the special treatment.
[Cute nickname. Normal. Sephiroth needs that normality. However, the truth of it-- it gets away from Vincent, because of the nature of the curse currently on him. The compulsion to speak when he normally might hold back the truth.]
Because you would be irritated if I pushed that behavior onto you. Minato is likely not in a place to explore the festival grounds. Peter is... missing.
And with Sephiroth, he hasn't had a touch of normality in his life, ever. Aldrip is the closest thing he's had to it. I want him to enjoy those things he has been denied, because he-- [His voice becomes strained, unable to stop.]
[ Toph's about to ask what the heck is going on with Minato (again) but she is immediately and thoroughly diverted. Her mouth opens and closes. Twice. ]
Seriously?! What?
[ She's totally flummoxed for a few whole seconds before her brain starts to kick into gear, and then she reaches out and hits Vincent on the arm. With a closed fist. Hard. ]
And you didn't tell me?! What's with the secrets? He seems like a nice kid. Needs to work on his earth spell or whatever, but so does everyone. [ They had a nice training session together. It's not Sephiroth's fault no one else is up to Toph's standards on earthbending. ]
...It's extremely complicated, Toph. And I do mean that, not to simply brush it off. It is to the point that I have not admitted as much about the possibility to Sephiroth. [Quietly, he's pretty charmed about the remark about Sephiroth's earth spell utility; of course Toph as criticisms about that.] I don't even know if for certain he is. If knowing for sure would help him, or if I'd even be a worthy parent to him.
[Well, he'd be a step up from Hojo, but so would a cactuar, so it's not like it's a huge compliment]
I was unable to protect his mother, nor was I able to protect him from being experimented on before he'd even been born.
[ Despite being brash and abrasive on a good day, Toph has an innate patience and stillness to her when she wants to exercise it that comes out now as she listens intently to Vincent's explanation. Immediately, she realizes the complications in Sephiroth himself not even being aware it's possible. She can't imagine not knowing who her parents are, but she knows how important they are. She realizes she can't be the one to tell him, which is fine, because she's focused on Vincent.
This is also new information about him being experimented on, and Vincent's regret about being unable to protect his mother. It feels like this came out of nowhere to her, like she'd been bopping around a silly Halloween festival getting a dumb fortune told and playing kids' games and then here's Vincent dropping horrible tragedy after tragedy on her in blithe, cool sentences.
She has to pick something to focus on. So she does, sputtering. ]
Okay -- okay, wait. There's a lot going on here, you're right, [ it sure is complicated! ] but whether you'd be a worthy parent isn't part of the conversation.
[ Toph delivers this fiercely, resolutely, like she's daring Vincent to argue with her. She doesn't need to divert this conversation with a whole thing about her own parents, but she's adamantly certain Vincent doesn't need to worry in that regard. ]
Let's get out of here -- I think I need the whole story.
These aren't things he'd have shared so easily, like a cracked wine glass spilling out its contents. Not that he'd have normally resisted Toph if she'd asked the right questions, but to give it away piece after piece? It has to be related to the fortuneteller. It must.
Vincent closes his eyes, frowning for a moment.]
...Away from the fairgrounds, but still with dirt. So I can... try to convey how deep this goes.
[And using earth seems the easiest. It's not like he can give Toph a visual otherwise.]
[ It's not a disaster, Vincent is just super dramatic. Toph has taken in and processed a lot of upsetting information at once before, it's not like this is the first time. It's just been a while.
Her expression tightens with self-control and she snatches hold of his cloak with one hand, immediately stalking away and intending to pull him along if necessary. She knows exactly where to go to get privacy, obviously, since she can feel the presence of everyone around them like she has radar. ]
Yeah, yeah, like you're so subtle I need to do my lie detecting on you. Please. You know I don't buy into the whole spooky pumpkin schtick. You're just a guy like everyone else. [ Toph has no concept of what a vampire is so congrats, Vincent is now relegated to spooky pumpkin schtick. ]
[Fortunately, she doesn't really need to drag him away, for as soon as she grabs onto his cloak he follows her obediently even if he's sulking the whole way.]
It isn't that simple.
[It never is. Toph doesn't know everything that lurks inside of Vincent. No one does.]
I can't... conveniently draw a diagram for you. So soil will make it easier to get an idea. Or I'll just make it more confusing. I suppose we'll find out.
How about you stop worrying about how confused I'll be and just tell me the parts that matter to you? [ she suggests pointedly.
Toph doesn't need the whole whole story. She isn't looking for a ten-part Ken Burns documentary. She cares about Vincent, which means she wants to hear what's relevant to him, what she needs to know to support him and look out for him.
She's already been plenty sappy out loud so she doesn't say that part, but she sure is thinking it.
Since Toph is the one directing them, they move unerringly to the nearest place with actual privacy, though it means Toph has to pause to open and then close a stone wall behind them with sharp, impatient movements, creating a short staircase downward directly into the earth until they come into a pitch black and desolate basement. She claps her hands together and creates a simple packed dirt bench for them, plonking herself on it expectantly. ]
Okay. Spill. You've been boiling up with something since the second I sensed you, might as well get it out. [ What's repression? Couldn't be her. ]
Wait, do you need a window? Can you see down here, or is that not part of your spooky pumpkin thing?
[A fair point, he supposes. And he does know that if Toph was dismissive, she wouldn't ask to hear about it, so... it does put him at ease to know that she does care in her own way. He gets it.
Vincent hesitantly goes to sit down on the dirt bench, then wryly responds to her:] Actually, I'm more used to a windowless basement, so this is pretty familiar.
[But yes. The important things to cover. Idly, he begins to trace a shape into the dirt with the point of his gauntlet. Less as a necessary visual and more just... yearning.]
A long time ago, I was a bodyguard to a young scientist. A brilliant and beautiful woman named Lucrecia Crescent. [And he is indeed drawing her in the dirt, a strangely decent portrait even though it's dirt and they're in the dark, but whatever.] She was playful, inquisitive, and intelligent. I admired her like no other.
Then, when I thought... we were close, she chose another man. Professor Hojo. I didn't fight for her. I wanted to respect her wishes. If it made her happiest to be with someone else, then so be it.
[Vincent's hand stills, then slowly clenches it into a fist.] She announced she was pregnant. It was then that both she and Hojo decided to work on the next stage of their research, by using Lucrecia's unborn child as the test subject. I tried to persuade her to change her mind, but she was steadfast. Too dedicated.
As she suffered through the experiments, I tried to confront Hojo, and paid dearly for that. Somewhere... along the way, she gave birth to Sephiroth.
Sephiroth's father is one of two people. Hojo, or myself. I can't tell which would harm him more in knowing.
[ Sitting in a dark basement with a friend is basically one of Toph's favorite things, so she's perfectly happy to leave them windowless when Vincent says he's used to it.
But unsurprisingly the story he has to tell is a somber one, and before long she's scrunching her toes into the packed dirt of the bench she'd made. Her legs are too short for her feet to reach the floor (she'd made it with Vincent's height in mind) which means she ends up fussing away little curls of earth with her feet that flutter down in the darkness, Toph's version of a nervous fidget. Otherwise she's quiet and serious as she listens.
She immediately wants to say something disparaging about Lucrecia, tries to keep it in, and fails utterly. ]
She agreed to experiment on her own baby?! And you're really this torn up about her? [ Toph asks in disbelief. ] Or did you... I mean, did she change from when you were close? You said you weren't able to protect her.
[ Toph can easily imagine there's more to this story, and before she can get to the Sephiroth and Vincent part, she's first thoroughly stuck on Vincent having all these feelings for a woman who would do that to her own child. ]
I realize how it sounds. [And yet, Vincent will go to her defense.] Lucrecia was determined, but a gentle soul. That in turn meant she would do whatever it was that Hojo ordered her to do.
I was... her bodyguard, and I couldn't keep her from this mistake. Nor could I save Sephiroth from Hojo's influence, either. At least, not until he had arrived in Aldrip.
Ultimately, I couldn't save Lucrecia from herself. I was told she died while giving birth. I could never... make it up to her.
[ Does he realize how it sounds?? Toph is not really the right audience to try to excuse something by saying she's a gentle soul. And she comes from a society with such a long history of war, she's at least abstractly familiar with the problems inherent in excusing actions because they were orders. Was Katara supposed to forgive the man who killed her mother because he was ordered? Toph doesn't see that conversation going over well.
She wants to be respectful of how important this woman clearly was to Vincent, but, well. Toph herself had a good dose of incense. ]
Okay, first of all, stop apologizing for her, [ Toph declares. ] It's sad she's dead and she can't make up for what she did, but it's not your job to do that. You weren't in charge of her decisions and Hojo wasn't, either.
And it sounds like you tried to get Sephiroth out of there and couldn't, right? [ From what he's saying, that's what it seems. Toph's not sure what else he was supposed to do in this situation. ]
"but like trust me she was good" "how" "idk trust me"
[Perhaps there will be a day in which Vincent can make the realization that very little of what happened those years ago was his fault. That he didn't dictate any of Lucrecia's choices, that she committed to something heinous out of her own free will. At the moment, all he can think is that he's painted her in such an ill light before Toph and Sephiroth both. That he's done her such a disservice. If they knew her, they'd understand surely.
Vincent's lips press into a flat line, and he looks away, chest tight.]
I wanted to. When I confronted Hojo he... ensured that I was incapable of doing anything at all. [Frankly, he speaks:] He killed me. Then revived me to experiment on me for the next few years following. By the time he was done with me, Sephiroth must have been... three or four, I think.
[ Toph is all ready to have more back and forth about Lucrecia, but Vincent keeps going, and this is personal information, horrible tragic deeply personal information relevant to the person right in front of her that she cares about very much. She's been here long enough that she doesn't get hung up on asking how that's possible, on trying to understand; she just believes it, and is immediately upset for him and what he's been through.
Without a second thought, she lurches over to the side and wraps Vincent in a hug, bypassing his cloak and leaning her whole weight on him.
She mumbles into the fabric of his clothes: ] So you're trying to make up for it, huh? Seems like a good dad thing to do to me.
[ If her father ever tried to make up for any of the ways he's hurt her, all unwittingly, Toph would accept it in a heartbeat. She'd be beside herself. She thinks maybe Vincent isn't giving enough credit to how much a child just wants to hear their parent sees them as they are, and cares.
[Vincent doesn't know specifics about Toph's background. If she wanted to share, he'd listen of course, but it's not really a topic unearthed (no pun intended). Still, there is enough for him to interpret; she has enough to know, most likely, how a parent should or should not be, to some degree. He does not ask, not today.
Instead, he's... overwhelmed, briefly, by the embrace. It surprises him that it's happened twice now.
Slowly, he wraps his arms around her. Not gentle because she's fragile, but gentle because his own heart is so tender.]
I suppose so.
[He thinks briefly to his own relationship with his father, a nearly non-existent one at that. It'd been a bit strange and conflicting when he received news of his passing; he should have been more upset, probably. But he wasn't relieved either. It was just an unfortunate occurrence that barely changed him.
Could Vincent be a good father? Difficult to say, but hell knows he can't do worse than that. Worse than anything else Sephiroth has been through.]
...I want to ensure he has a future he can be proud of.
[Most of all, that is true. If he could save Sephiroth somehow, even if it's just one version of him...]
[ Toph is part of a group of very hug-prone friends, and maybe they've gotten to her, okay? She doesn't just hug people willy-nilly, but people she cares about who are having a hard time, sure. And since she can't put this Hojo guy in the ground where he belongs, she has to do something with the pent up sadness and frustration from hearing Vincent's story.
That doesn't mean she's going to go easy on him. Toph draws back but not totally away, frowning at him. ] You might need to talk to him to do that, [ Toph says pointedly. ] I don't even mean about how you might be his dad, though uh, that too.
I mean you have to know what he wants for the future before you can help him get there.
[ This is at the heart of Toph's problems with her own parents, so she's extremely clear on the importance of it. It lends a heavier weight and emotion to her words than she usually has. ]
...I'm not sure how to broach the subject to him. If he's... mine. But I will try.
[There's a bit of a helpless look on Vincent's face for a moment, not that Toph can tell. But there are ways in which she undoubtedly can read into his body language and tone that establishes the same reaction, really.]
Unfortunately, he doesn't know what he wants yet. But he is young, and he has time. ...I suppose, really, it's just a matter of waiting until he figures out what he wants for himself. Knowing that he can choose, now that he is out of Hojo's clutches.
Undoing that man's work is a progress. But I make no plans to choose anything for him, that I can assure.
I bet you can get a test done to make sure first, [ she suggests, reaching out and looping her arm around his, a kind of sideways half-hug. Toph leans into him freely, without reservation. If it's not true, it'd be awful to get his hopes up, right? Or deal with the fallout, whatever, but Toph doesn't see why it wouldn't be a good thing.
Insistently: ] I wasn't saying you'd try to force him into something, but he might want something different if he knows he has you around to be there for him.
[ Toph hesitates momentarily, then continues in a softer tone, almost tentative. ]
Believe me, I didn't want to run away. Trying to make my parents happy kept me frozen and scared of disappointing them. [ Some frustration seeps into her voice. ] If they would've supported me, I wouldn't have wasted so much time faking it. Even just knowing you're there and want whatever he wants, it's --
It means a lot, Vincent. [ And it's something she's never had. ]
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expiationlogs2024-10-14 08:59 am
no subject
So why does Sephy get all the old man behavior? [ Toph would be peering at him in curiosity if that was a behavior she'd ever learned. Also: now Vincent gets to learn Toph's nickname for Sephiroth. He'd said to treat him like someone her age, so she sure did. ]
Not that I want you to go around checking on things for me, but just saying, nobody else gets the special treatment.
no subject
Because you would be irritated if I pushed that behavior onto you. Minato is likely not in a place to explore the festival grounds. Peter is... missing.
And with Sephiroth, he hasn't had a touch of normality in his life, ever. Aldrip is the closest thing he's had to it. I want him to enjoy those things he has been denied, because he-- [His voice becomes strained, unable to stop.]
He might be my son.
no subject
Seriously?! What?
[ She's totally flummoxed for a few whole seconds before her brain starts to kick into gear, and then she reaches out and hits Vincent on the arm. With a closed fist. Hard. ]
And you didn't tell me?! What's with the secrets? He seems like a nice kid. Needs to work on his earth spell or whatever, but so does everyone. [ They had a nice training session together. It's not Sephiroth's fault no one else is up to Toph's standards on earthbending. ]
no subject
...It's extremely complicated, Toph. And I do mean that, not to simply brush it off. It is to the point that I have not admitted as much about the possibility to Sephiroth. [Quietly, he's pretty charmed about the remark about Sephiroth's earth spell utility; of course Toph as criticisms about that.] I don't even know if for certain he is. If knowing for sure would help him, or if I'd even be a worthy parent to him.
[Well, he'd be a step up from Hojo, but so would a cactuar, so it's not like it's a huge compliment]
I was unable to protect his mother, nor was I able to protect him from being experimented on before he'd even been born.
no subject
This is also new information about him being experimented on, and Vincent's regret about being unable to protect his mother. It feels like this came out of nowhere to her, like she'd been bopping around a silly Halloween festival getting a dumb fortune told and playing kids' games and then here's Vincent dropping horrible tragedy after tragedy on her in blithe, cool sentences.
She has to pick something to focus on. So she does, sputtering. ]
Okay -- okay, wait. There's a lot going on here, you're right, [ it sure is complicated! ] but whether you'd be a worthy parent isn't part of the conversation.
[ Toph delivers this fiercely, resolutely, like she's daring Vincent to argue with her. She doesn't need to divert this conversation with a whole thing about her own parents, but she's adamantly certain Vincent doesn't need to worry in that regard. ]
Let's get out of here -- I think I need the whole story.
no subject
These aren't things he'd have shared so easily, like a cracked wine glass spilling out its contents. Not that he'd have normally resisted Toph if she'd asked the right questions, but to give it away piece after piece? It has to be related to the fortuneteller. It must.
Vincent closes his eyes, frowning for a moment.]
...Away from the fairgrounds, but still with dirt. So I can... try to convey how deep this goes.
[And using earth seems the easiest. It's not like he can give Toph a visual otherwise.]
no subject
Her expression tightens with self-control and she snatches hold of his cloak with one hand, immediately stalking away and intending to pull him along if necessary. She knows exactly where to go to get privacy, obviously, since she can feel the presence of everyone around them like she has radar. ]
Yeah, yeah, like you're so subtle I need to do my lie detecting on you. Please. You know I don't buy into the whole spooky pumpkin schtick. You're just a guy like everyone else. [ Toph has no concept of what a vampire is so congrats, Vincent is now relegated to spooky pumpkin schtick. ]
no subject
It isn't that simple.
[It never is. Toph doesn't know everything that lurks inside of Vincent. No one does.]
I can't... conveniently draw a diagram for you. So soil will make it easier to get an idea. Or I'll just make it more confusing. I suppose we'll find out.
no subject
Toph doesn't need the whole whole story. She isn't looking for a ten-part Ken Burns documentary. She cares about Vincent, which means she wants to hear what's relevant to him, what she needs to know to support him and look out for him.
She's already been plenty sappy out loud so she doesn't say that part, but she sure is thinking it.
Since Toph is the one directing them, they move unerringly to the nearest place with actual privacy, though it means Toph has to pause to open and then close a stone wall behind them with sharp, impatient movements, creating a short staircase downward directly into the earth until they come into a pitch black and desolate basement. She claps her hands together and creates a simple packed dirt bench for them, plonking herself on it expectantly. ]
Okay. Spill. You've been boiling up with something since the second I sensed you, might as well get it out. [ What's repression? Couldn't be her. ]
Wait, do you need a window? Can you see down here, or is that not part of your spooky pumpkin thing?
no subject
Vincent hesitantly goes to sit down on the dirt bench, then wryly responds to her:] Actually, I'm more used to a windowless basement, so this is pretty familiar.
[But yes. The important things to cover. Idly, he begins to trace a shape into the dirt with the point of his gauntlet. Less as a necessary visual and more just... yearning.]
A long time ago, I was a bodyguard to a young scientist. A brilliant and beautiful woman named Lucrecia Crescent. [And he is indeed drawing her in the dirt, a strangely decent portrait even though it's dirt and they're in the dark, but whatever.] She was playful, inquisitive, and intelligent. I admired her like no other.
Then, when I thought... we were close, she chose another man. Professor Hojo. I didn't fight for her. I wanted to respect her wishes. If it made her happiest to be with someone else, then so be it.
[Vincent's hand stills, then slowly clenches it into a fist.] She announced she was pregnant. It was then that both she and Hojo decided to work on the next stage of their research, by using Lucrecia's unborn child as the test subject. I tried to persuade her to change her mind, but she was steadfast. Too dedicated.
As she suffered through the experiments, I tried to confront Hojo, and paid dearly for that. Somewhere... along the way, she gave birth to Sephiroth.
Sephiroth's father is one of two people. Hojo, or myself. I can't tell which would harm him more in knowing.
no subject
But unsurprisingly the story he has to tell is a somber one, and before long she's scrunching her toes into the packed dirt of the bench she'd made. Her legs are too short for her feet to reach the floor (she'd made it with Vincent's height in mind) which means she ends up fussing away little curls of earth with her feet that flutter down in the darkness, Toph's version of a nervous fidget. Otherwise she's quiet and serious as she listens.
She immediately wants to say something disparaging about Lucrecia, tries to keep it in, and fails utterly. ]
She agreed to experiment on her own baby?! And you're really this torn up about her? [ Toph asks in disbelief. ] Or did you... I mean, did she change from when you were close? You said you weren't able to protect her.
[ Toph can easily imagine there's more to this story, and before she can get to the Sephiroth and Vincent part, she's first thoroughly stuck on Vincent having all these feelings for a woman who would do that to her own child. ]
when u wish ur character would stop simping
I was... her bodyguard, and I couldn't keep her from this mistake. Nor could I save Sephiroth from Hojo's influence, either. At least, not until he had arrived in Aldrip.
Ultimately, I couldn't save Lucrecia from herself. I was told she died while giving birth. I could never... make it up to her.
"I can fix her" --vincent, probably
She wants to be respectful of how important this woman clearly was to Vincent, but, well. Toph herself had a good dose of incense. ]
Okay, first of all, stop apologizing for her, [ Toph declares. ] It's sad she's dead and she can't make up for what she did, but it's not your job to do that. You weren't in charge of her decisions and Hojo wasn't, either.
And it sounds like you tried to get Sephiroth out of there and couldn't, right? [ From what he's saying, that's what it seems. Toph's not sure what else he was supposed to do in this situation. ]
"but like trust me she was good" "how" "idk trust me"
Vincent's lips press into a flat line, and he looks away, chest tight.]
I wanted to. When I confronted Hojo he... ensured that I was incapable of doing anything at all. [Frankly, he speaks:] He killed me. Then revived me to experiment on me for the next few years following. By the time he was done with me, Sephiroth must have been... three or four, I think.
no subject
Without a second thought, she lurches over to the side and wraps Vincent in a hug, bypassing his cloak and leaning her whole weight on him.
She mumbles into the fabric of his clothes: ] So you're trying to make up for it, huh? Seems like a good dad thing to do to me.
[ If her father ever tried to make up for any of the ways he's hurt her, all unwittingly, Toph would accept it in a heartbeat. She'd be beside herself. She thinks maybe Vincent isn't giving enough credit to how much a child just wants to hear their parent sees them as they are, and cares.
It's really not more complicated than that. ]
no subject
Instead, he's... overwhelmed, briefly, by the embrace. It surprises him that it's happened twice now.
Slowly, he wraps his arms around her. Not gentle because she's fragile, but gentle because his own heart is so tender.]
I suppose so.
[He thinks briefly to his own relationship with his father, a nearly non-existent one at that. It'd been a bit strange and conflicting when he received news of his passing; he should have been more upset, probably. But he wasn't relieved either. It was just an unfortunate occurrence that barely changed him.
Could Vincent be a good father? Difficult to say, but hell knows he can't do worse than that. Worse than anything else Sephiroth has been through.]
...I want to ensure he has a future he can be proud of.
[Most of all, that is true. If he could save Sephiroth somehow, even if it's just one version of him...]
no subject
That doesn't mean she's going to go easy on him. Toph draws back but not totally away, frowning at him. ] You might need to talk to him to do that, [ Toph says pointedly. ] I don't even mean about how you might be his dad, though uh, that too.
I mean you have to know what he wants for the future before you can help him get there.
[ This is at the heart of Toph's problems with her own parents, so she's extremely clear on the importance of it. It lends a heavier weight and emotion to her words than she usually has. ]
no subject
[There's a bit of a helpless look on Vincent's face for a moment, not that Toph can tell. But there are ways in which she undoubtedly can read into his body language and tone that establishes the same reaction, really.]
Unfortunately, he doesn't know what he wants yet. But he is young, and he has time. ...I suppose, really, it's just a matter of waiting until he figures out what he wants for himself. Knowing that he can choose, now that he is out of Hojo's clutches.
Undoing that man's work is a progress. But I make no plans to choose anything for him, that I can assure.
no subject
Insistently: ] I wasn't saying you'd try to force him into something, but he might want something different if he knows he has you around to be there for him.
[ Toph hesitates momentarily, then continues in a softer tone, almost tentative. ]
Believe me, I didn't want to run away. Trying to make my parents happy kept me frozen and scared of disappointing them. [ Some frustration seeps into her voice. ] If they would've supported me, I wouldn't have wasted so much time faking it. Even just knowing you're there and want whatever he wants, it's --
It means a lot, Vincent. [ And it's something she's never had. ]