expiationlogs | (open) i went through my list of friends and found i had no one to tell

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(open) i went through my list of friends and found i had no one to tell

Who: Ange Ushiromiya and YOU!
Where: All over Aldrip.
What: Ange is dealing with the aftermath of the Gnosia event-- and worse so than she's pretending to be.
Warnings: A chance of talk of mental illness (mostly depression, mixed in with some complex abandonment trauma) and death (in regards to the recent event).

[ It's not like Ange hasn't dealt with anything in this place, really. She's been here for over a year now, and there have been plenty of things before that really shook her to the core - especially that dumb maze from a long while ago now, and everything that had appeared in it. But the most recent event might have been the wildest thing yet. It was very reminiscent of the games back home, which sure didn't help. Even though her family might not have been on the line this time around, watching her friends be on the line was practically just as bad.

And now.. the town is normal again. And they're expected to go on like the usual.

So Ange tries to do just that - even if something threatens to fester below. ]

( a. come across ange - open to all! )

[ Maybe you're coming across one of the more quiet and empty parts of town, or maybe right outside town, where you may have found someone who set up a little shooting range - even if it's not much more than a single target standing there in an empty field or park.

The sight that might be more surprising - if you recognize the girl - is Ange standing there, holding a bow as she's staring at the target, looking rather focused. It's been a long, long time since she bothered to practice archery before giving up on it, so the sight of her doing it again is certainly new to most people. (And not inspired at all by a specific person being on her mind, what do you mean--) She pulls back the string before releasing the arrow. It flies at the target, and..

.. It only hits one of the outer rings.

The girl mutters something under her breath, her steps more like stomps as she heads over to the target to retrieve the arrow, pulling it out. As she turns around to go back to where she was standing a moment ago to perhaps go for a second attempt, she'll spot you right there. She frowns, speaking up with a: ]

What are you looking at?

[ Is she embarrassed? A little more touchy than the usual, considering she doesn't seem to be wearing her poker face or her usual emotionless tone when she spoke up like that? Who knows. ]

( b. ange comes across you - only for existing cr! )

[ For once, Ange doesn't totally isolate in the face of what happened during the event. It's almost as if she learned something, ssshh.

Which means that at some point during the days right after the town returns back to normal, you may find Ange reaching out to you if she knows you. She'll be at your door if she knows where you live, but if she doesn't, she may have sent you a text to come meet up with her at a cafe in town.

Either way, regardless of whether you're greeting her at your doorstep or in the cafe, the girl scowls and immediately starts with: ]

Everything that happens in this place is such bullshit.

[ Okay, hi, hello to you too, Ange-- ]

( ooc: feel free to hit me up with either brackets or prose, i will match! or if you'd like to wildcard this or ask for a custom starter, feel free to let me know too, i'm very flexible! )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's the fact we can't do anything.

[ That's the upsetting part, really. Everything else that happens here is wild and violent, sure, but it's very much like the stuff she was dealing with back home. She had also been part of a death game back there. She had also been forced to watch people she cares about die over and over.

It's not as easy to handle as she makes it out to be, but at least she has experience with this.

The sheer helplessness is new though. At least back home it always felt like she could try to struggle in some way. Like she could find some way to go against what was going on, even in small ways. But here?

Ange shakes her head. ]

For over a year I haven't found a single thing to make life easier here. We're still just dying all the same for absolutely no reason. [ And, to make it even more frustrating to her, it's not even for a lack of trying: ] No matter how much information I try to seek out about this place, it doesn't change anything.

[Silco considered her outburst with a considering 'hmm' sound, aware that she had been trying religiously to investigated all the leads that this place could offer. He had seen her be diligent and curious, seeking whatever information she could even from the other Chosen who had been here and perhaps experienced other aspects of life here.

There was a distinct lack of knowledge. It didn't help that they had been locked down in Aldrip for months now. Rumpitur was closed and ashamed no doubt. They hadn't had much opportunity for world exploration and now the Council was decidedly missing again.

He let her air her frustrations and simply listened, considering her.] I believe part of the problem is we don't know why we are dying, so there could be a reason we are currently unaware of. I see your point about the lack of information. Do you believe that our actions here have no baring on this place?

[ Despite the fact that she's annoyed and clearly emotional, the girl does go quiet for a moment before she answers him, like Ange is actually putting some thought into her answer. You know, rather than answering whatever snappy answer comes first in her mind - though that's very tempting in her current mood. ]

I believe that they don't, most of the time.

[ She has seen far too many people try far too many things over the years to believe most of it has any effect whatsoever. ]

I mean, we went all the way out into the desert just the other month, and we didn't even find anything. I think the only thing that seems to have had any effect on this place at all is what Ragna did. [ Which is blowing up town hall, of course-- but that action was so big that Ange doubts she has to specify what she's talking about. ] I can't think of anything else at all that's had that kind of effect.

Yet there seems to be an entity that breaks through and seems to be questing for information about us.

[He didn't know what artificial intelligence was or how it might relate to the overall functioning of this place, but there was a part beyond themselves that seemed to want to know more about them. Not only that, it seemed to learn which could help or hinder them in the long run.

Still, it was more than the normal mundane of this fake life that they were living. Perhaps that element was the key to allowing those that wanted to leave to do so, leaving those of them that preferred to stay to remain.]

And yet, we can't guarantee that such violence all over the city and beyond will be helpful for gaining us further knowledge. We must use vigilance and patience, as much as it might pain us to do so. The longer we remain, the more we will learn because we have so many people questing. However, I believe what we do has baring on this place, miniscule that it may be.

.. how long do you think it'll take?

[ Ange knows the question is dumb. It feels dumb. She feels kind of ridiculous for thinking it, for voicing it. She should be cooler and more composed than this.

But she can't help it. It's been so long. She has things to do back home, and she's been stuck here for so, so long.

She's so tired of it. That's why her tone falters a little bit, the anger and annoyance from before giving way to something else. The girl sounds tired, and maybe even a little upset in the sort of way that's more sad than angry. ]

I can't stay here for years. Especially while it feels like I'm not even making any progress, no matter what I do.

At the rate this place is unraveling, I would expect sooner than later. However, what this place considers 'sooner' is up in the air.

[There could be no comfort in the unknown, and he had no answers for her. He would do what he could in his own way to find a solution to her problem, and he had no issue with that as she had been loyal enough. She also wanted to go home, and he did not, so there was less risk for him if people who didn't want to be here to leave.

He folded his hands behind his back and watched the frustration in her bearing. Best that she get it out in the open now.]

Unfortunately, you may not have a choice regarding the length of stay. There are enough detectives in this place; have you reached out to them to collaborate?

[ Yeah, she definitely doesn't have a choice in the length of stay. That much is true. Ange feels like she's probably in for the long term, given how many people she has seen disappear from this place - yet she's still here, even if they aren't anymore. ]

Yeah. I've spoken to some people about it. [ More like the moment Ange notices someone else is interested in figuring this place out, she latches onto it. ] Do you remember a few months ago when things went crazy? That entire deal with the organs?

It could be worthwhile to consolidate information that we have, though that can have dangerous side-effects depending on the collaborators.

[He was, of course, a naturally suspicious person when it came to the intentions of other people. He was also one of those nefarious people, but he had yet a reason to work against Ange. Perhaps she would feel better with further collaboration?

Who knew. It was interesting that she continued to be rather open with him.]

Yes, it was hard to forget with all the serpents and noxious gas in the streets. What about it?

I talked to the guy that did all that.

[ Honestly, she's unsure whether or not Silco knows Gogol. Ange figures they're not very likely to interact, given what Silco's personality seems to be like and what she knows Gogol's to be like - it seems like Gogol would only get on Silco's nerves, really. Too much for them to talk regularly. ]

Apparently that was an attempt to figure out more about this place as well. Even if it was a really shitty attempt.

So someone with more brains and inspiration to do a good job should do it. I would be willing to help in that matter. I see value in knowing how this place works.

[He had not had a run in with Gogol, but he knew plenty of stories about that one given that incident with Dara. He had met many people like that in the Undercity, and they were worked for a Chem-Baron to be useful and aimed at one's enemies or they were put somewhere very deep and very dark.

Believe it or not, Silco did value people who could be downright annoying.]

Still, a united effort may be prudent.

[ United.

Ange still doesn't think the idea of a Silco and Gogol combination is great, but she can't deny that despite their wild and perhaps clashing personalities, they are two of the few people who have actually shared her active interest in finding out more about this world.

Maybe they can at least appreciate that about each other. ]

You should maybe talk to him sometime then, if you ever see him around. [ She knows Gogol can be kind of.. elusive sometimes.. It's probably part of his whole shtick, huh. ] I know he was being a total dumbass with the way he went about that attempt, but he's actually way smarter than he might come across. He's the one who's provided me with most of the useful information about this place that I didn't gather myself.

[ Ange seems to think about it for a moment, and then shrugs. ]

You just have to get him to act serious for more than a few seconds at once. [ That might be quite the task, though. ]

Yes, I expect he has a ruse that he puts up like so many of us. Everyone is playing the game to win, but their objectives are often different from our own.

[There were plenty of fakes in his city, and some of them even thrived very well with their abilities. He had no doubt that he and Gogol would dislike each other very much, and he was perfectly willing to engage regardless. They could be productive if they didn't descend to petty squabbling.]

Does he still have a vested interest in investigating information about this place, or has his interest waned?

No, I'm pretty sure he's still interested.

[ For his own reasons, sure, but-- Gogol seems like the type to Ange who doesn't let go once he's bitten down into something. Maybe he only sees the fact that information is so difficult to get in this place as a challenge issued to him directly from the people who created this place. ]

He's always the first person I talk to whenever something happens in this place. I value his insights. [ And that's a high compliment coming from Ange of all people, Silco!! It may not sound that way in tone, but it certainly isn't something she says about most people.. ever.. People are required to display some measure of intelligence first! ]

No doubt.

[It was interesting to hear Ange speak of that one so highly when everyone else in general seemed to dislike him. Well, to each their own he supposed. As long as he wouldn't be hunting down Ange's rogue internal organs at some time in the future, she could associate with whomever she wished.

After all, he knew there were plenty of people in this place who would not associate with him and might even question her for doing so. Perhaps to valued the candidness of people willing to do whatever it took for their own reasons... or she just plain had bad taste in people.]

Do you? Well, who am I to stand in the way of you using any means necessary to leave this place.

[ She huffs. ]

You know, that's actually a good one. Maybe that's what I should tell people if they ever ask me why I'm associating with him. [ You know, because Ange hates admitting to caring for anyone, or experiencing any single emotion ever.

Even though she's clearly been emotionally affected in the aftermath of what happened with the Gnosia. ]

I'll just tell them it's my way of using any means necessary to leave this place. Doubtlessly anyone would understand that after the shitty week we've had.

I do have a few good ones locked away that I occasionally let out for special occasions or people.

[He had no doubt that if push came to shove that she would do exactly that, but he expected there was more to the association than purely convenience. When she had apparently been betrayed by everyone and anyone that had known her, the facade of emotionlessness was more likely a protective gesture.

He wondered if anyone knew of her association with him. It seemed that both he and Gogol were put in the same type of box as one another. Yet, here she was growing her association with him.]

Understand, yes, but they may question your sanity as well. However, who you associate with is your business and your reasons are you own. You don't have to explain it to anyone.

I'm pretty used to people questioning my sanity.

[ There's no real elaboration on that - most likely because Ange doesn't think it's all that important, or even all that relevant to their current conversation. Instead Silco's words make her go quiet for a moment, realizing something. ]

.. then what do you think your reputation is here? [ Not that she suspects that people would question her association with him, mind you. It's just that what she knows about Silco is that he sure is getting involved in business dealings in this place in a way that other people don't really seem to, and she can imagine other people having an opinion about that. ]

I don't believe you're alone in that.

[Even here, it seemed that people would wander around questioning the interactions and decisions of others. It was fine as long as one didn't care about those opinions otherwise it could create issues. An ally today could be an enemy tomorrow.

He regarded her for a long quiet moment, considering the question seriously.] It depends who you talk to. People of my world are rather vocal with their dislike and distrust of me, and they previously spread it liberally. [He supposed the truce had stopped that to a degree. Yet, the odds were not in his favour.] Otherwise, I expect my reputation is a prolific business man. Some trust that, other's don't. I care little for the opinions of most on how I conduct my business and self.

[ The girl is quiet for a moment, thinking about his answer. She hasn't really heard anyone say anything bad about him, but.. maybe that's what that 'previously' part is about, huh? The people from his world aren't saying it anymore now, and Ange must have missed it back when they used to do it.

It does make her wonder what those people said, but it's not like she's going to ask Silco that to his face. It seems like a dumb idea.

Besides, there's something else she could ask here. It kind of feels like the elephant in the room. ]

Isn't it difficult to run a business though when people think said business might be shady? [ She sounds genuinely curious about it. ]

[If the talk hadn't reached her ears, perhaps she was not aware of his potential reputation. He wondered if it would change her opinion of him if she did, but he wasn't about to pursue the matter further. He wasn't in charge of how she felt or who she decided to deal with, and if she went looking for information on him from those of his world, so be it.

In his world, he did what was needed to be done for their freedom even if it came with a certain level of mutual destruction. It was no better or worse than how Piltover treated their people anyway.

He shrugged his shoulders.] No. If people want or need what I have to offer and I'm not punishing them with high prices or denying their requests, it isn't difficult at all. If people don't like it, they can shop elsewhere.

[He quite frankly didn't care. He had made purposeful strides to carving out places for things that people needed so they didn't have many other options.]

But that's a bad business decision, right?

[ .. there's a pause, and then the girl seems to realize something, since she adds: ]

Not that I'm doubting your business skills or anything like that. Not necessarily. I won't claim to be even remotely close to an expert when it comes to that. [ It's not really polite, per se, but it's about as polite as Ange gets, bothering to explain herself when she realizes she's being too blunt.

It is a sign that she at least likes Silco to some degree, going out of her way like that. ]

It's just that it feels to me like most people would then just go shop elsewhere. Then how would you still profit off the business?

Perhaps they will. That is the power of choice and competition.

[While his words might seem like he was for competition and was perfectly fine with people spending their money in other places, he in fact simply rigged the system to make it so that it didn't matter where they went. He would own what they needed because he would own a full corner of the market, just not let everyone know about it.

He wasn't so stupid as to think that the illusion of choice was important though. People had to feel a sense of control even in a rigged game.] There are always ways to profit. You target basic needs or have something so unique it appeals to a broad market. There are other tactics like item envy too.

[So perhaps as a sign of good will, he will let slip some of his tactics. The simple ones that are easily replicated in other places.]

[ The girl quietly seems to contemplate his words.

It feels better than thinking back on what happened just the other week. All that's doing is making her upset, especially when it doesn't feel like there have been any important clues hiding in what happened to them.

At least this is something to think about that doesn't make her upset. It's a slight improvement. ]

Who are you trying to target with that? The weird locals, or us? [ Well, maybe not her, given that he's explaining it to her.

But even though Ange is really bad at picking up signs of good will from other people towards her specifically, she still doubts that Silco is the sort of person who will explain this to just anyone. It'd hurt his business, after all. She figures maybe he just thinks she isn't a target that's easy to influence, or something like that. ]

[He shrugged lightly, amused that her questions were becoming more and more pointed and potentially invasive. She did not seem the type of young lady that would wander around yelling about his business practices, but neither did he trust anyone completely with them.

Still, hd had a long tolerance for Ange thusfar.]

Can't it be both? Narrow focused marketing isn't smart when the ability to expand is limited by what this place is willing to allow.

[He currently shared certain essential businesses and would be expanding into that. It might all be fake in the end, but it was what he had to work with.]

Do you have interest in a business of your own someday?

Not really.

[ Seems like she didn't have to really think about that one, since she answered pretty quickly. ]

I actually have a big business back home. And I mean a really big one. I inherited it from my aunt, but since I'm still too young and also have no interest in running it whatsoever, other people are doing that. [ There's a pause on her end, and since she has been asking him a whole lot, Ange figures she might as well share this fact in return-- ] I'm pretty sure they'll just be glad to be rid of me. They just see me as a liability.

[ A pretty weird thing to say as casually as Ange does, but.. it's definitely said very casually. With a shrug and all. ]

(open) i went through my list of friends and found i had no one to tell

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