expiationlogs | (open) i went through my list of friends and found i had no one to tell

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(open) i went through my list of friends and found i had no one to tell

Who: Ange Ushiromiya and YOU!
Where: All over Aldrip.
What: Ange is dealing with the aftermath of the Gnosia event-- and worse so than she's pretending to be.
Warnings: A chance of talk of mental illness (mostly depression, mixed in with some complex abandonment trauma) and death (in regards to the recent event).

[ It's not like Ange hasn't dealt with anything in this place, really. She's been here for over a year now, and there have been plenty of things before that really shook her to the core - especially that dumb maze from a long while ago now, and everything that had appeared in it. But the most recent event might have been the wildest thing yet. It was very reminiscent of the games back home, which sure didn't help. Even though her family might not have been on the line this time around, watching her friends be on the line was practically just as bad.

And now.. the town is normal again. And they're expected to go on like the usual.

So Ange tries to do just that - even if something threatens to fester below. ]

( a. come across ange - open to all! )

[ Maybe you're coming across one of the more quiet and empty parts of town, or maybe right outside town, where you may have found someone who set up a little shooting range - even if it's not much more than a single target standing there in an empty field or park.

The sight that might be more surprising - if you recognize the girl - is Ange standing there, holding a bow as she's staring at the target, looking rather focused. It's been a long, long time since she bothered to practice archery before giving up on it, so the sight of her doing it again is certainly new to most people. (And not inspired at all by a specific person being on her mind, what do you mean--) She pulls back the string before releasing the arrow. It flies at the target, and..

.. It only hits one of the outer rings.

The girl mutters something under her breath, her steps more like stomps as she heads over to the target to retrieve the arrow, pulling it out. As she turns around to go back to where she was standing a moment ago to perhaps go for a second attempt, she'll spot you right there. She frowns, speaking up with a: ]

What are you looking at?

[ Is she embarrassed? A little more touchy than the usual, considering she doesn't seem to be wearing her poker face or her usual emotionless tone when she spoke up like that? Who knows. ]

( b. ange comes across you - only for existing cr! )

[ For once, Ange doesn't totally isolate in the face of what happened during the event. It's almost as if she learned something, ssshh.

Which means that at some point during the days right after the town returns back to normal, you may find Ange reaching out to you if she knows you. She'll be at your door if she knows where you live, but if she doesn't, she may have sent you a text to come meet up with her at a cafe in town.

Either way, regardless of whether you're greeting her at your doorstep or in the cafe, the girl scowls and immediately starts with: ]

Everything that happens in this place is such bullshit.

[ Okay, hi, hello to you too, Ange-- ]

( ooc: feel free to hit me up with either brackets or prose, i will match! or if you'd like to wildcard this or ask for a custom starter, feel free to let me know too, i'm very flexible! )

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[ It's not like there's multiple bows here, given that Ange set up this entire thing herself and she only has one bow.. So after considering it for a brief moment, she holds the weapon out to Douman to offer it to him, only adding a quick: ]

Just don't break it.

[ Seriously, Douman! She won't be able to easily replace it if you do! Maybe that's why she sounds a little bit huffy as she's handing the bow over, or maybe it's just still the Moody Teenager in her.. ]

I'll need it to defend myself in case this place goes absolutely crazy again. Which it inevitably will. [ Maybe that's a bit of a hint to her mood, especially with how recently the entire Gnosia thing was going on.. ]

[He takes it with a nod, muttering some words of thanks and that he'll take care even though he isn't actually sure that he can. It has been decades since he last held a bow, if not centuries.]

A good idea. Though an uncommon choice. [Douman nocks the arrow and lifts the bow, only to hesitate. Aestethics... Efficiency... How did you hold this thing right again? He feels like he still knows how to do this, but his body is tripping over itself while trying to remember the old routines. Shouldn't this be like riding a bike where you never truly forget how it's done?

He lowers the bow again and sighs a small sound of frustration. Then Douman focuses, fixes his posture, raises the bow and fires in one fluid motion. The arrow hits the target with a thunk and Douman curses under his breath. He hit the bullseye, but his arrow is half out of the inner circle, marking the shoot a miss in his mind.]

Tch! This really isn't like riding a bike. ....Anyway, is this because of the gnosia?

[ ...

Ange does watch him shoot the arrow, but it makes his frustration entirely hard to understand. After all, he got way closer than she did during her own attempts, yet he seems frustrated as if he missed the entire target. Sheesh, that sure doesn't make her feel better about her own lack of skill..

Not that she comments on it in the face of the question he's asking. Ange is more than eager to ramble about that, after all. ]

Of course it's because of the Gnosia. What else would it be about?

[ Well, it could be other things - but the entire incident with the Gnosia was indeed the most recent..

Just the mere memory of it seems to make the girl frown. ]

I'm so tired of this place thinking it can force us into random death games for absolutely no reason at all. I refuse to be toyed with anymore.

[If he knew, Douman would tell her that he is simply using different standards for himself and others. Back when he had still practiced shooting, it had been less about gathering points and way more about hitting exactly whichever spot you were aiming for -- which had also been a requirement for his work as an Onmyoji. Whether you destroyed the center or an outer border of a malignant charm could change the results drastically. Not to mention that Seimei had always shot and hit perfectly.

~~It's actually mainly about Seimei. If his rival hit a perfect bullseye, then Douman wanted to do it as well!~~]

Hm.

[He gives her time to decide what she wants to share and speak her mind, tilting his head slightly in thought as he offers her her bow back. Then he goes to retrieve the arrow and return that as well.]

So this happens more often?

All the time.

[ She takes back the bow when he offers it to her, but she doesn't ready another shot just yet, not even by the time he returns with the arrow as well. Maybe she doesn't feel like it yet, or maybe she's a little more focused on this conversation now. ]

Sure, it isn't exactly like this all the time. [ The circumstances were very unique this time around, and maybe even more deadly than anything else she's seen in this place. But that doesn't take away from the fact that-- ] I've been here for over a year now, and this place definitely tries to torture us every other month or so. There doesn't even seem to be a purpose to it. It's like we're just being put through these awful stuff for some else's entertainment.

[ Hence why she seems so upset about it. Maybe this was just the straw that broke the camel's back after having endured so much for so long. ]

And no matter what we do, we can't seem to stop it. [ Which makes it even more frustrating. ]

Maybe that's the goal, though. To harvest your emotions.

[The words are out before he can think about what he's saying, and Douman flinches inwardly the moment he hears it. This place has a bad habit of reminding him of some of the things he has experienced back when he was still and Onmyoji, sometimes to the point where it makes him fall back into old patterns. But he can't let the nostalgia get the better of him. That'd just be stupid, considering that he isn't the man he once was anymore.

(Hell, he might still be able to put up warding talismans against evil, but then he'd end up getting stopped and burned by them as well!)]

...Anyway, the fact that you managed to deal this long with it speaks for your mental fortitude. Do you know how long the- How long people usually last?

[ There is a bit of a strange pause after he says that first thing. It's not even like it's too long, but something about the combination of what he's saying - something that would be wild to your average person, surely - combined with the pause that makes Ange wonder if there's something there.

.. or maybe there isn't. Maybe she's reading too much into things, into everything, desperately trying to find answers where there are none.

So she lets the thought rest for now, instead focusing on his question. ]

It depends. [ Her words are a touch slower than the usual.

This hits on an awkward point, after all. The thought of all the people she's known here over the past year who just disappeared, who she hasn't seen since, who she won't ever see again - and only god knows what exactly this place did to them. ]

There are some people who are here for as long as I have, but not many. I wouldn't say it's common to be here for this long. Some people only are here for a week or two before they're gone, some a few months. [ .. the girl grows quiet for a moment, and then adds in that same slow, thoughtful manner: ] I really am not sure what determines how long someone is here for. It could just be random chance, I guess. [ Because--

Why else would she still be here? She's nothing special at all, she thinks. ]

Maybe. Some are easier to feed on than others, or simply tastier. But that's only loud thinking.

[He shrugs his shoulder, looking out at the target again with a lost in his thoughts look. For a moment his presence seems to becoming less, almost as if him being there is a mere daydream or an afterthought of reality.

When Douman speaks again, his voice sounds thoughtful.]

....But it'd fit.

[ There's a slight pause on Ange's end too, almost like she's thinking at the same time as him here, using the same pauses. ]

You think this place feeds on us?

[ A beat, and then she adds, coupled with a slight thoughtful tilt of her head: ]

Literally, or metaphorically? [ Look, he's a youkai, right? Ange wouldn't put any assumption of the former past him because of that. Feeding on things is what some youkai just do, so it might not be as strange of an assumption for him. Ange - despite being human - can also suggest it relatively calmly, rather than looking panicked about it. She's seen worse. ]

A spider's web or a feeding ground... What'd fit better for those than a butterfly's dream?

[He tilts his head and his mask enough to flash the barest glimmer of a melancholic smile.]

Why not both? Our emotions and souls might be eaten and our bodies sucked dry until not even brittle bones remain - and then our thoughts and memories may be recycled as statists to keep the illusion going for the next round of victims. That's what a smart monster might do.

Well, we have to stop that before it happens.

[ She makes it sound so simple, but at the same time.. the girl knows it's not that simple at all. If it was, then she would have been gone from this world a whole lot earlier, having found some way back to the place she's meant to be.

But even though it has seemed impossible to do anything about this place, she doesn't want to give up. There's a certain kind of determination in her eyes as she looks at him. ]

I refuse to just let this dumb place consume me. It doesn't deserve it. Especially when it's too cowardly to face us head-on.

Mhmmmmmm.

[His nonverbal response is both thoughtful and laconi, with a side of wry amusement to it. Those things are always as awfully easier said than done, aren't they? He is still annoyed at how little progress he has made at figuring out the mechanic that keeps this 'world' going himself.]

Not facing us head-on might be the only way it can do what it does. Maybe it doesn't even have a real body in the common sense.

[ Ange at least doesn't seem like she's about to deny that possibility. There's quite a lot of things that are still on the table when it comes to the true nature of this place, after all. ]

It can manifest things though. It's manifested this city. The locals. If it wanted to talk to us, surely it could manifest something to do exactly that, right?

Probably. But that's assuming that it's acting or thinking like us.

[Which is the crux of the matter. It's hard to deal with something if you don't even know what it is.]

Maybe it's something sentient. Maybe it's an animal, or an object like a house. Maybe it's a place. Until we don't know at least that much, it will be hard to come up with a plan how to counter it.

[ ...

The girl slowly breathes out.

Then she buries her face into her hands. It doesn't seem exasperation at him. She doesn't think Douman is saying anything stupid here. It's just-- ]

I'm so tired. [ She sounds like it. Something about the fatigue in her voice makes her sound younger - or rather, more appropriate to her actual age, since she so often acts like an adult when she technically isn't one. ] I've been chasing down the truth of this place for over a year now, and I have almost nothing to show for it but the constant dumb torture this place forces on us.

[ It's all a little bit too much. Especially for someone as young and as - technically - human as Ange. ]

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(open) i went through my list of friends and found i had no one to tell

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