expiationlogs | (closed) how the most dangerous thing is to love

[there's a long silence again.

he considers it.]

I'm too tired to hate anyone but myself.

[it might be a bit of a dance around the question, but he's not too sure how he feels about anything right now.]

Besides, I'd be a hypocrite if I did.

[considering that a similar thing had happened to him..]

That's not what I asked. You can do both.

(hate him for doing what he attempted - it's not logical, but people are complex. the same way manjiro could hate someone, he could forgive another who's done the same. he is one, after all.)

... I'm asking, so I can leave if you don't want me around still.

I can't.

[and besides... he doesn't want to be alone. the fact that he'd leaned on Mikey so easily alone lets himself know he doesn't want to be alone.

that he can't be alone right now.]

Don't leave. I'm... sorry for being mad at you.

... I don't need an apology. I've done worse, and what matters is how we rebuild it.

(the approach he's using with yu, certainly.

fine, he won't leave. instead, he sits next to yosuke, an arm wrapping around him so he can rest against his shoulder.)

Come here, you dumbass.

[he never really thought he'd be looking for comfort from Mikey of all people. he thinks it's kind of odd as he rests his head against his shoulder, though not unwelcome. even though he'd killed Yu... now he realizes what that's like. to completely lose control. even Yosuke had wanted to fight him.

and he'd never actually seriously fight Yu.

and somehow... Yu has forgiven them both.]

Is this as weird for you as it is for me?

[it's a little bit of a joke. because even if they'd fooled around before, it's not like there were strong feelings behind it. hell, Mikey didn't even like Yosuke half the time.]

... No. I kinda missed it.

(which is weird to say, considering the fact they constantly butt heads, never on the same page about anything that isn't yu. his hand moves to caress some of that hair, sighing in some relief.

don't ask him too much.)

[there's a long silence, and Yosuke just feels the rise and fall of Mikey's body as he breathes for a minute. he had never really spent enough time unpacking all the feelings he had for Mikey -- probably a little bit more fear than anything else. and even if they had grumped with each other... there had been a part of Yosuke that had missed the little dickhead too.

it was just overwhelmed with everything else.]

You missed me? [there's a knot in his chest, and he meant to sound more incredulous about it. but instead... there's a little bit of hope.

to cover that up, he smiles weakly and replies:] It was weird, not being in the dojo after a while.

[his own roundabout saying that he missed Mikey, too.]

Are we seriously going to play chicken again until you kiss me to let me know you missed me too, or can we just skip to that part?

(both of them are so stubborn, aren't they? difficult people, who both want to be close, but can't spend this time without making it challenging for the other. it's always been their pattern.

roundabouts, excuses, bickering. even now, as manjiro has him in embrace, they're still playing their weird little chasing game. manjiro's changed in many ways, after all the time he spent at home, it'd be strange if he hadn't, and in many ways, he remained the same. the bluntness never left him.)

I did miss you, idiot.

Hmph.

[there's a bit of a scoff, and Yosuke starts to sound a bit more like his normal self. as if falling back into the pattern of bickering with Mikey is bringing something back -- making him think less about the events of the past couple of weeks.]

You think I'm going to be that romantic with you or something?

[he looks up at Mikey now.]

I'm going to call you an asshole instead.

[and then he's going to try to kiss him. LMFAO.]

(he could laugh, because yosuke and him in any type of romantic situation would fit poorly. he didn't want any, but man, he missed touch, and he craved for something familiar, something that made his heart, as much as he would love to claim otherwise, beat faster.

whether yosuke was baited or he was doing it because he actually wanted to, either way, it feels ridiculously good to press his lips against the other's, a hand curling around the edge of yosuke's shirt as a silent request for him to come closer, to pull manjiro right back as he's being pulled.)

[Yosuke does come closer, and also grabs Mikey by his own shirt to pull him closer. not only was he craving his own bit of touch... but he also desperately wanted to blow off steam and get his mind off of things. Mikey's a good distraction. he's always a good distraction.

he'll sort out feelings later.

he deepens the kiss now, tilting his head as he does so, feeling his own heartbeat start to race as he does it.]

(closed) how the most dangerous thing is to love

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