expiationlogs | everyone's having a good time

Entry tags:

everyone's having a good time

Who: Scott Summers and various
Where: Aldrip
What: Some closed prompts for the event. A few open prompts featuring the Gnosia questionnaire, direct aftermath of Phoenix!Scott killing Ryoji, and a little time after where Scott's having a Time back at his house.
Warnings: Some descriptions of death and burning. PTSD??

If you wanna plot something out, please hit me up at

currykirby.

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[There is nothing more difficult in the world than this -- knowing something terrible has happened, something that rips at someone's very soul, and knowing that there is nothing you can do about it. Apologies sobbed into your clothes, blood and tears staining skin...and it's not enough, it's never going to be enough. It can't undo what has happened.

His hold on Scott tightens by a fraction, as if he's using actions to say he doesn't care about his clothes or apologies or anything like that. All that matters is getting Scott through this. Whatever this happens to be.

It just happened.] I know, [he whispers, soft and even. Scott doesn't need to explain himself, doesn't need to explain any of it. He doesn't have a picture of what happened yet; he doesn't know the details. So what he thinks doesn't really matter, does it? He can't judge.]

... None of us could have known this would happen.

[Another soft squeeze of his shoulder. Yu isn't going anywhere.]

[He doesn't know what he's supposed to be doing now.

Multiple thoughts continue to race through his mind, some returning to the moment when Ryoji's blade stabbed through Kotone's chest, while others linger around the memory of gripping that fragile neck and burning his friend's flesh without guilt or concern. It feels like he's seconds away from losing himself to all of those feelings, but Yu's voice is somehow grounding and Scott doesn't hesitate to latch onto it. Thoughts of whether or not if this is really okay, if he deserves this sort of comfort, doesn't last long, because he doesn't want to be alone and Yu's one of his closest friends here.

He... he can get mad at him later, when he finds out what happened. Scott doesn't look forward to that inevitable conversation, but he's wanting to keep himself attached to the other teen for as long as possible. As such, he doesn't try to pull away, still keeping his face buried against him.]

S-she's gone, Yu. [Temporarily as it may be. Hopefully.] I... I couldn't protect her.

[They were doing so well as a team. They fought Sentinels in the tower, they saved Morph, but this still happened. Why wasn't he faster? Stronger? Why didn't that glitching happen before Ryoji struck her down...? No, why did that have to happen at all? He really didn't want that. If nothing else, he has to remember that. Keep telling himself that.]

[She's gone.

Whether it's temporary or not, whether she'll return -- it doesn't matter, really, because it hurts either way. The trauma remains even if they come back, and you can't unsee it. You can't undo what happened. Yu knows that as well as anyone. Yosuke's sacrifice had shaken him to his very core; it still shakes him, even now. The pain is almost unimaginable.

Here, Yu really does have to squeeze his eyes shut, has to fight back a sting at the corners of his vision, because even for him, seeing friends hurt like this is impossibly hard.]

I'm sorry, [he whispers, his voice soft to guard against the threat of a tremble. He's got to keep it together for Scott's sake.] You did everything you could.

[He doesn't have to have been there to know that. There are opinions, and then there are facts, and this is a fact: Scott would fight to the end to protect Kotone.]

I-It happened so fast...

[It's hard thinking about it, but at the same time, it's really the only memory that replays in his mind over and over (other than Ryoji's death). Kotone talking to the other teen, the teen that's been fully infected, and a second passed and his sword was pierced right through her chest. Kotone choking and dying and-- Scott's chest hitches, a broken sob escaping him as he shakes his head against Yu.

He can't say those things out loud right now.]

She was dead the next second. [All that life from her face just vanished. Is that how she looks like back home? If he pulls his face from Yu and looks back at Kotone... is that how she's supposed to be?]

[There's nothing he can say, no response he could possibly make, that could help, in a situation like this. Nothing that will change what happened, nothing that'll make it any better. Yu knows that. And yet...the urge to try is so desperately at the front of his mind, as if he could cast a protect spell in retrospect, as if that spell could protect Scott's heart from what it's going through right now.

He can't. That's the hardest part.

All he can do is hold onto the other teen, and he does so, squeezing his shoulder tightly, bracingly, a grounding presence in the same way that Scott had grounded him, when his heart was torn up so similarly.

... And then Scott pulls away, looks at Kotone's lifeless form, and he looks lost, confused, despairing.]

... hey. Hey. [He reaches for Scott's neck, for his cheek, trying to direct his line of sight away from her. If Scott allows him, he'll press their foreheads together, seeking eye contact.] Don't. It-- it isn't her.

[Not anymore. Because, no, that's not how Kotone is supposed to be -- she's supposed to be one of the liveliest people he knows, a force of nature, passionate and compassionate. Most people who die here come back...and it feels perverse, in the face of the reality of death, but he hopes that that fact will continue to hold, now. If she doesn't, though...this shouldn't be the last image he has of her.]

[Yu's a calm and comforting friend on a normal day and right now, where everything feels wrong and his world entirely off balance, it's easy to just let himself be guided by him. His friend's support and strength is the only thing that feels right and so Scott finds himself relying completely on it. He doesn't have to be strong or really be anyone right now. So, there's no show of resistance, Scott letting his forehead lean against Yu's as those broken sobs continue to gasp from his chest.

Though his eyes remain unseen, making it hard to know if he's really looking at him, Scott at least isn't trying to turn his head away to glance at the cooling corpse near them. He just lets his arms dangle by his sides as he breaks down, because Yu's companionship means so much right now. With the death of their friends nearby, this is something he still has. It hasn't been taken away yet.

Somewhere, he knows that his friend must be just as devastated seeing Kotone like this. Ryoji too. And yet, there's still that grounding tone in both his voice and demeanor, with Scott desperately wanting to believe his words. T-that lifeless body isn't Kotone. H-he's right.]

It's not her... [His voice comes out watery, with some doubt still plaguing him.] I-It's not...

[Scott tries repeating those words once more, as if convincing himself. He wants to think about her before all this happened, but it's too difficult right now.]

[The scene around them is grisly, marked by so many reminders of death that Yu isn't sure where to look. He doesn't want to see any of it, it's true -- it's hard, and haven't they been through enough already? If he had had to see Yosuke's body, after what happened to him...would he be able to handle it?

Yu is quiet for a few more moments, letting Scott pour emotion out onto him, but the scene and smell of death around them isn't going anywhere. It's not going to get any better. So-- ...he waits, of course, looking for a quiet lull, a break in the sobs and Scott's shaky reassurances to himself. He can at least do that, to wait for a moment of softness amidst the hardship. When he finds it, he slips in quietly, gently.]

... Can we go somewhere else, Scott?

[The question is barely above a whisper. It's not that he thinks Scott will break; it's just that his voice sounds so loud in the quiet already.

He asks this question with neutrality in his tone and expression. It'd be understandable if Scott said no; how long had he wanted to stay in Nanako's hospital room, after she flatlined? If not for Namatame, he might never have left. But he opens up the opportunity. Maybe all Scott needs is for someone else to make the request first.]

[Despite the gentleness of the question, directed at him in a way that almost makes Scott crack further, he lightly shakes his head against Yu's. He doesn't want to leave, not yet. The thought's more than appealing, of course, to get away from the trauma and death that's haunting so close to them, but he... he can't leave. He wants to be with them for just a bit longer, even if those broken bodies are no longer them. Ryoji's especially, although, Scott doesn't want to think about his burnt corpse at all.

It feels contradictory and it probably doesn't make any sense, but the thought of leaving almost feels like a betrayal. Kotone, especially, would want him to move on.]

I-I can't.

[Not to mention... there's one other person he promised. Maybe that's easier to talk about, because at least she's alive. Barely. She came so close to death; he remembers his hand around her throat and skin burning in his gasp, but she's fine. Scott's pretty sure about that; he couldn't have hallucinated that entire interaction. He's sure... just like he's sure that Yu is with him now.

Again, focus on how warm he is.]

I-I'm supposed to wait for Ange. S-She's coming back. [With some uncertainty, his voice decreasing in strength.] S-She said she would.

[That blue butterfly is nearby at least, showing that Ange was here at some point.]

[It's understandable.

It hurts and it's hard, but Yu can't really blame him for that. I can't. Sometimes what you need, what you can do, it doesn't make a lot of sense...he gets that. So when he says,] ...okay. [it's with softness, without judgment.

Maybe he would have insisted, if it was anyone but Ange coming. Not that he doesn't trust other people, but Ange is one of the more reliable people he knows, and the butterfly sitting nearby, overlooked until just now, serves to remind him of that. At least Scott won't be alone. For now, he squeezes the mutant's shoulder again, hoping it comes across as reassuringly as he means for it to be.]

I'll stay with you as long as you need.

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