Welcome to the Arztenritter

[baldrshand]

Who: Ethlyn + anyone interested in healing + anyone else
Where: A clinic near the edge of town
What: Arztenritter healing brigade training! Feel free to put up your own toplevels too.
Warnings: None


The Willow Clinic wasn't the one nearest the center of town in Aldrip--more towards the fields, and crucially, near a horse paddock as well. It was where Ethlyn had found employment as one of the clinic's standing healers and where she'd first proposed the idea of what she now liked to call the Arztenritter--"doctor-knight" in old Jugdrali--who could ride out all over town and beyond it in case of emergency medical needs.

After starting on the idea with people she already knew and putting up flyers around town for a general interest-and-training day, Ethlyn made her way to the clinic bright and early in the morning to get things set up for a day of medical and horsemanship training combined.

Comments

[baldrshand]

[Ah... it's Marianne. Ethlyn relaxes a little. She doesn't like thinking of her history as a secret, because then it sounds like deception--but if it was one, Marianne knows it already.]

Oh, no... I'm just taking a moment to look at the stars before heading home. [She glances back towards the heavens again.] Actually, I was thinking about which of those stars is the one I should be looking at if I wanted to look towards Jugdral.

[snowslip]

[ Ah. Marianne's head turns to look at the sky above. It's a beautiful night to stargaze. The constellations shimmer overhead and in the vastness beyond, the goddess dwells. At least, she wants to think that the goddess is still watching over them from above. If she were to mount a horse and ride to the ends of the earth, would she find a way home? ]

Do you think your friends and family are gazing at the same night sky? That would be nice.

[baldrshand]

[Her friends... her family. Ethlyn thinks of her brother, who had been on the other side of the Aed Desert, making his way back to the homeland that had turned on him. Of the likely and unlikely allies he had by his side, Noish and Lachesis and Ayra and the rest. She thinks of Quan, using the Gáe Bolg to strike down a dracoknight ad a dozen more swooped around him and his fallen men.

Of Altena, screaming in Ethlyn's arms as she tried to push her horse through the stifling sands.]

I don't know. [She passes a hand over her eyes. It always comes back easier in the dark.] I don't know what's happened to them all.

[snowslip]

[ One look at Ethlyn's face tells Marianne that something is wrong. She thinks back to their first meeting and what Ethyln shared with her of her fate. Could it be...that whatever cruel designs had befallen her had also put her family in danger? ]

Ethlyn...What happened back in your world?

[ To Marianne, Ethlyn has always appeared calm and certain, facing the circumstances with grace. Has she been carrying this weight all along? ]

[baldrshand]

[What happened. She died. She died, and somehow it wasn't the end. She died, and she went on, on a different continent, on a different world.]

I was with my husband. We were riding out to save my brother. [Her brother, who had also been accused of a crime he didn't commit.] But we never got there. We were ambushed.

[She can feel the tears in her eyes and closes them, but it doesn't keep them at bay--they roll down, one at a time.]

If Quan survived--it would be a miracle. And our daughter-- [With her, in the saddle.] I should never have taken her with us!

[snowslip]

I'm so sorry.

[ It's a story too painful and too cruel. Why, goddess, did someone as kind as Ethlyn have to suffer such a terrible fate? Marianne embraces her, feeling her heart breaking for Ethlyn. Her brother, her husband, and most of all, her child...how painful it must be not to know what's become of them. To be unable to reunite with them even in death. Marianne can do little but offer her comfort, knowing that words can't possibly be enough to ease the loss of her loved ones. ]

It's not your fault. You fought bravely, and you did what you thought was best.

[baldrshand]

[Ethlyn tries to stop her weeping. She shouldn't. She didn't do all this today just to break down at the end of it, losing herself to all the woes that she's been forced to leave behind her.

But her heart doesn't listen to her head, and maybe just now, her heart knows its business better. That's the treacherous thought that whispers as Marianne's arms go around her. Ethlyn has tried to make it her business to help Marianne, but--it's impossible not to accept her help in turn.]

N-no... [It's hard to tell if she's agreeing or arguing. Ethlyn's not sure herself. She just leans her head on Marianne's shoulder.] We just--didn't see it coming.

[snowslip]

You couldn't have known what would happen.

[ Marianne's seen war and how senseless it is. There's no knowing what will occur in the thick of battle and which lives will be cut short. At the end of it, what's left are the sleepless nights and haunting thoughts of what you could have done to save one more life. Marianne's heart breaks for Ethlyn and all that she's lost. She lets Ethlyn rest against her, holding her close. Goddess knows Ethlyn's carried this weight by herself long enough. ]

[baldrshand]

[For a few moments, all Ethlyn can do is cry. She hasn't cried about it once since she arrived here. She's spent so much time trying to not think about it--stepping back when she gets to close as she would step back from an unexpected cliff-edge.

Maybe. Maybe it's true. That was why Quan left Finn at home in Leonster with the rest of the troops--they thought that was where Thracia would strike, not that they would try to destroy Leonster's future by killing the heir and his young wife. But Travant had proved himself to be cunning as well as brutal.

She will never forget the cold chill in Quan's voice. I... This was all a mistake...]

Brutal and cunning. [She echoes her own thoughts.] S-so... so maybe my daughter will survive. A hostage.

[It's a bleak view of little Altena's future. She was meant to inherit the Gáe Bolg, to inherit Leonster, but now the best Ethlyn can hope for is that her daughter will be locked away and raised as a prisoner in an impoverished land.]

[snowslip]

[ No...Marianne doesn't want to believe that anyone would be so cruel as to harm a child, but war is cruel. She's witnessed it firsthand. But still...Her hand finds Ethlyn's and closes around hers gently. ]

Your daughter is precious to your kingdom and its people. Maybe they'll find her, and one day, she'll return home.

[ Marianne is not a hopeful person by nature, but in the bleakness of this moment, she hopes for a miracle. May the goddess deliver the little princess safely into the arms of her family and friends again. Someway, somehow. ]

[baldrshand]

[But how can they? Ethlyn wants to wail. Thracia is naught but mountains, and its people are wyvern knights; if they want to hide Altena away in the craggiest peaks there is no way to stop them. But no, Marianne does have the truth of it. Finn is still alive. Ethlyn knows he will protect Leif. And if Travant uses Altena as a hostage, then Finn will move heaven and earth to rescue her.]

Y-yes... yes. [She sniffs loudly, feeling like a child.] One day--one day she may return.

But it's so hard. I'll never know what happens.

[snowslip]

I'm sorry. It must have been painful for you this whole time.

[ Not knowing your loved one's fate can be worse than knowing. The lack of closure, the tug of war between hope and despair. Pain that never truly disappears. She doesn't know what to say. There are no words to make this right, but Marianne will stay with her, and hold her for as long as Ethyln needs. ]

[baldrshand]

[Painful? Yes. Painful, when she's allowed herself to think about it. She's been doing everything she can to stay ahead of the anguish, to fill her time with dozens of busy little things. Organize the healers, repair the iceboxes, travel through the woods, bandage and stitch and soothe and reassure. Because what can she do about her troubles? She didn't see her husband fall, but she knows he must have. She knows that her death will wound Sigurd deeper than a sword--as though things weren't bad enough for him. And Altena and Leif, left without a mother and father in a land of cruel and unforgiving kingslayers....

She failed them both so utterly.

It takes a bit more time for her to be able to speak. Marianne's arms are comforting, and her quiet is soothing. It helps, to hold and be held. To not be alone with this ache in her heart.]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put this all on you. [She sniffs loudly, feeling like a little girl.] Thank you.

[snowslip]

Don't be, it's alright.

[ Ethyln's helped her so much, yet Marianne hadn't seen the pain she was carrying inside. Ethlyn's thrown herself into helping others, put together the Arztenritter, done so much for everyone. It's the least Marianne can do to offer her a shoulder to cry on in this lonely time. ]

Would you... like to pray together? For your little one. Or if there's anything else...

[ Anything she can do, Ethlyn need only to ask. ]

[baldrshand]

[Ethlyn takes a final deep breath, gaining control over herself again. She feels drained, but--better. The part of her that has trained in medicine for twelve years thinks like pus, you must drain it. Which is an awful, inappropriate comparison, but now that she has actually spoken her guilt and her fear out loud... she feels more equal to living with it.]

Yes... [How long has it been since she prayed to the god of her family? Not since she arrived here, at least. She ought to remedy that.] Yes, I would like that. I've made myself too busy with things here to remember praying.

[snowslip]

[ Nodding quietly, Marianne lets go of Ethlyn but remains by her side. She clasps her hands together, lifting her head to the stars up above where the goddess dwells. She wonders if, somewhere, their loved ones are also looking at the same starlit sky.

Marianne bows her head and prays.

Dear goddess, protect Ethlyn's family. Protect her little ones, so young and innocent and undeserving of the evils in the world. Guide her people, for they've lost a great leader, a brilliant woman they'll never get to know. If the miracle that has brought Ethlyn to this time and place can happen again, then let her be reunited with her family once more. For all this and more, Marianne prays. ]