expiationlogs | me and all my other mes

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me and all my other mes

Who: Scott Summers and you
Where: Around Aldrip
What: Scott glitching into different versions of himself, such as 97, James Marsden, time displaced teen Scott from the comics, etc...
Warnings: Maybe some possible spoilers for X-Men 97??

I’m Totally Buggin (X-Men 97);
[Walking around Aldrip? You may notice a slightly familiar, but also pretty different version of one Scott Summers. Mostly, just the fact that he's an adult that's wearing a bright and colorful X-Men uniform. Look, who would wear black leather?? There's definitely a certain serious countenance to him as he looks around, because this place is new and unfamiliar and where is his team? Hell, he'll even be glad to see Magneto around, since the older mutant has shown that he's capable of letting humans go despite their crimes against them. Second chances and all. It's what the late Professor wanted.

...He still wonders if he didn't do a good enough job if the Professor left everything to Magneto.

But no thoughts for that right now. He has to find the other X-Men or help out any mutants if they are in this city. So, once again, he tries to communicate with the other members of his team, pressing the communicator on his uniform to contact them.]

It's Cyclops, report.

[Once that message is sent, however, Scott will continue his exploration, perhaps even resorting to stopping someone else to ask for information. This doesn't look like an elaborate kidnapping ploy, so he's willing to hear out any of the people walking around.] Can you tell me where we're at?

[Maybe you'll catch Scott walking around one of the more crime infested areas, just casually blasting a robber from across the street with the lowest power setting so that they collapse to the ground, mostly uninjured. It sure is nice to have a visor where he can control the output of his blasts.]

I was basically a cameo (X3: Last Stand);
[Enjoying the beach? Well, maybe not anymore, because there is a scream that echoes throughout the area before two familiar red blasts shoot through the sea for a few seconds, the water breaking apart before instantly converging once more as Scott falls to his knees a respectable distance away (look, he wasn't going to blast right next to someone, he has just enough sense for that). And it's definitely some version of Scott as he stares out at the ocean with an expression that seems haunted and exhausted, despite the shades covering his eyes. Maybe it's the fact that he clearly hasn't shaven in a hot minute.

Normally, Scott wouldn't even think to act this way out in public. But Jean is gone. He can't even hear her in his mind now. She's been dead for a year and he still can't come to grips with it. It's just. He should've done more for her. He should've been there. He should've done something. He... he doesn't know what to do and all that training and self-control is not helping him right now.

He can only just look at the water in front of him, so unlike the lake that claimed her, teeth clenching as her name falls from him.]

Jean...

I stole Wolverine's bike (All New X-Men comics);
[Well, isn't this great.

This Scott half expects Hank to pop out of nowhere and tell him that he's been brought to somewhere else to stop his future self, even if it doesn't make any sense. Nothing has made sense though in the past few days. Look, learning that he kills Charles Xavier in the future, that his future self is a mutant revolutionary hanging out with Magneto, and that everyone pretty much hates him has been a lot. He... he didn't do that. He doesn't want to do any of that.

But Hank hasn't come out to tell him his new idea. And people aren't looking at him with utter contempt or distrust. It's kind of nice. Sure, he only experienced that for just a few days now, but it has been enough. It's not like he can really forget how even Jean looked at him when everyone learned what his future self is like. Probably didn't help that he literally attacked him and the others and promptly disappeared with his new best friend Magneto.

God, this sucks still. Because he doesn't know where he's at and no one is familiar. He'd still rather have the other young X-Men here, because even if it's Bobby or Warren looking at him with distrust, at least they're still his friends.

Scott stares up at the sky for a moment, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He can handle this. He can--]

This might as well happen!

[He shouts into the sky before promptly collapsing back on the grass and staring upward still. Maybe that feral man with the claws will come out of nowhere to kill him. He wonders if it would be that bad.]

wildcard;
[Want a different Scott? Just let me know and I'll try to swing it! Feel free to plot with me at

currykirby]

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Sure do, [ he says, easily, and considers giving some kind of demonstration — but scott seems to believe him, truly, and then charles wonders if he shouldn't instead try and explain that people can't normally see him, that it's just something this place does —

but then scott's talking more, and charles' brain just bluescreens. frozen solid, all systems down, flashing error notices; because — ]

What?

[ ... oh god. oh fuck.

right, so — maybe he can see how the misunderstanding happened here. and really, scott's not wrong, exactly, because he does love edwin, except he's got the sense that this is in direct comparison to scott's probably dead girlfriend or wife or something, and he —

he hasn't exactly had time to think about what the hell he's feeling, has he? but for whatever reason, saying the words it's not like that, or we're not like that, it — they get stuck in his throat, and what comes out instead is, ] I mean — yeah. Yeah, he is.

[He feels like he just witnessed someone's personal journey happen in five seconds. Maybe, normally, Scott would give a small if understanding smile, because he gets it and this is just a little amusing seeing Charles come to his big realization, but that emotion still feels brittle and far away. Everything's still too close to the surface.

There's something a little less angry in him though. Like... this is kind of nice to hear, even if Charles and his boyfriend or 'close companion' are dead.]

...Dead and together. That isn't the worst outcome if you still see him every day.

[...Is he jealous? No, okay, maybe a little, but it's mostly covered by the fact that Scott looks mostly glad for Charles. He's truly happy for them that they can spend the afterlife together, as terrible as it is that Charles died at a young age. That much is a certain tragedy that brings out that sympathy in Scott, along with a certain anger about the potential injustice that may have led to his end. Even if it's just natural causes.]

Each day feels worth living. [Even if they are dead, he can imagine that being around his partner makes him feel alive. It's how Scott would feel.]

[ quite frankly, charles sort of feels like someone whacked him with his own cricket bat, and the feeling does nothing to help sort out what the absolute fuck is going on with him, or his feelings, or anything else — but then it's a good thing he's an expert at suppressing his own reactions and burying them under a smile.

and his smile is pretty damn convincing. ]

Yeah, [ he says, then, and the smile reaches his eyes and all. ] Not the worst outcome, at all.

[ he bites the inside of his cheek, then, before blurting out on instinct and nothing else, ] You know, people don't usually... see me. Us. Ghosts, I mean. It's something this place does, grants everyone the ability, or makes me visible, don't know the specifics. So — she might... be one. You won't know until you die. And even if she's not, you could, um, ask Death when she comes, if she couldn't send you to the same afterlife. I've never met her, but, from what I've heard, Death's a good one. Might even listen.

[Scott doesn't outwardly react as Charles starts going into his tangent, although he finds himself slowly blinking behind his ruby shades. They're always good for that, hiding his outward reactions when he's not fully able to control them otherwise. Granted, screaming and mourning for Jean wasn't him hiding in the least bit, but before all that... he tends to have a rather decent poker face.

One that he gives Charles for a few seconds as he fully takes everything in. There's a passing hope that he might be able to see Jean here, but he tries not to be too optimistic. Even though clinging to the idea of seeing her again is extremely tempting... to search everywhere in this place for her. She's been on his mind the entire time this past year, what's a few more weeks as he searches here?

She is worth that much, more than that.

Scott's mouth slowly parts, although it closes again in contemplation. So Death has a form and it's a girl. Noted.]

...Why haven't you passed onto the afterlife?

[The question almost sounds piercing, especially with the way Scott almost bluntly asks Charles that. He both wants to think more about Jean and focus on something else and right now, he's going for the latter.]

Edwin, [ says charles, immediately, like just his name is enough to explain. it's not, though, of course — and charles gives scott a small smile. ]

Met him in '89, when I died. Been sticking with him ever since. And, see, the thing is — Edwin was in Hell, on a technicality, so we kept running from Death so he wouldn't be taken back... and now we've got permission to stay on Earth, solving cases, and the more we do solve, well, he might make a case for leniency, yeah?

[ but, ultimately, that isn't really it. charles shrugs one shoulder, smile remaining, except there's something soft in it, the same softness that turns his eyes liquid and fond. ] But, honest, even if he does, well, we're not gonna move on. No point if we can't be together, is there? Would rather have an eternity as a ghost with him than move on to Heaven, alone.

[Not difficult to put two and two together and figure out that Edwin is his Jean Grey. The other boy that Charles can't move on without, not until he's sure they go to the same place together. It's honestly kind of touching to hear this, but he fully understands the teen's devotion and love for Edwin. So, there's no judgment, nothing like from Scott as he nods to the ghost.

Yeah... he really gets him. Just loving and wanting to be with someone so much that you don't want to move on without them.]

I'd do the same for Jean. [He admits quietly. It's been so hard to live without her and if they are separated forever in the afterlife, Scott's not sure how he'd be able to cope then.] I understand how you feel, Charles. Not that she'd be there, but... I would go to hell for her.

[ charles' smile is understanding, but he has to huff a laugh, then, before his grin turns just a tad wry. ]

Well, [ he says, and something self-deprecating sneaks into his tone, ] You'd need someone to open a door for you, first. And then probably some good notes to get through, to her, and back.

[ a pause, and charles could just stop there, but he has a need to fill in the silence, and the words keep pouring out of his mouth. ] Did you know you can't actually, you know, see the rooms for what they are when you go in? But you can see when you come out. Only, you wish you didn't, it's not — it's not great.

[His eyebrow arches hearing Charles talk about opening a door, having notes. Sounds like he's speaking from experience more than anything else. Has he already jumped into hell to save Edwin? Curiosity pushes at his chest, although he keeps that inquiry to himself for now, especially as the ghost keeps on talking about hell. He assumes that's correct at any rate.]

...I'm sorry, I don't quite follow.

[He tilts his head, but it's clear that he's listening. Look, maybe important stuff to know if he has to jump into hell to save Jean. After all, if this Edwin got put there due to a mistake, then maybe another 'mistake' might happen. Maybe god or whatever tossed all mutants into hell-- in which case, can he start a rebellion??]

Like you can only see the contents of hell after exploring it?

Yeah, pretty much.

[ charles gives another half-shrug, grimacing. it's — actually, he hasn't really talked about hell much, mostly because when he thinks about it his thoughts go to the dollhouse and the absolute horror of it all and then he starts thinking that edwin was there for seventy years and —

well, quite frankly, it makes him want to burst into angry tears, which isn't really conductive to anything, ever, and so he doesn't think of it.

somehow, though, talking about the rest of it? it's... not terrible. it makes him feel like he's maybe, just maybe, being useful, passing on the knowledge. just in case. ] When you go in, it looks like a bunch of empty rooms. They're... uh, less empty when you come back.

[Not what he quite imagined hell to be like. Yeah, he sort of figured it would just be pain from the get go, but maybe it's worse that it tries to lure people into a false sense of security before the actual truth of the place is revealed. At least he won't be caught off guard, assuming... a lot of things, but Scott's taking Charles seriously, because that's how he is.]

You walk back and suddenly you see people being slowly tortured, correct? Paired with their screams of agony? [Yeah, he's just accepting this. Maybe Scott should sound more worried, but there's something almost monotone about his voice.] I'll go out here and admit that it's impressive you and Edwin managed to escape.

[He can't imagine that happens often.]

[ oh, no, it is totally pain from the get-go, if you're actually put there. if you break in, however... ]

Sort of, yeah. I've only seen Gluttony and Lust, and then Limbo, but — [ he shrugs, and intends to elaborate, but then he's distracted by what follows and his intense need to correct that. ]

No, uh, Edwin did it all by himself, first. But then he got taken there a second time, and I went in to get him back.

[ no, it really doesn't. edwin's now twice the anomaly. ]

[So, punished by deadly sins. Of course. Guess that much is true, if their afterlives end up even being remotely similar. Scott's still of the opinion that this is good to know, not like he has much of an account otherwise.]

It doesn't erase what I just said. You both managed to escape, even if it was Edwin's second time.

[But talking about death and everything... Scott's gaze drifts back to the ocean.] I still intend to ask you more details about that later, but perhaps I shouldn't be so focused on dying yet.

Ask away, [ he answers, easily, and means it — even if it's a long shot... well. if he can help anyone, anyone with getting there and back, then he's going to do that.

though — ] Agreed, mate. Don't... be too eager to die.

[ he pauses, stuffing his hands in his pockets. ] If there's anything I've learned... it's that living and being dead aren't too different, except only one's permanent. So don't throw away the thing that you can't get back, yeah?

In that case, I'd like to see a fully written account so I can look back at it and think of a potential plan later.

[He's so serious about that and yes, he's definitely assigning Charles some homework now. Better to have something this important noted down anyway, even if memories don't fade the same way as it does for ghosts. Every little detail is important. Scott doesn't feel bad asking him for this.]

...There's still things worth fighting for. [Worth living for. Even if it's not really part of the X-Men anymore, there's still students back home, mutants that need help. If he focuses on that, then maybe, he can actually keep going.]

I can't be this selfish, even now.

Sure. [ his agreement is immediate — after all, he'd have never made it without edwin's meticulous notes. it's not an unreasonable request.

but then he smiles — because, yeah, that's right, innit? there's always things to fight for. he shouldn't just throw away his life like this, not without fighting, first. ]

... that's right. So just keep thinking about that, yeah? Just — good luck, mate. And on the days when it gets hard... this Jean, she'd want you to keep going, right? Don't forget that.

[ with that, charles gives scott another, quiet smile and goes — with the intent to, actually, make the notes about hell... only, later on, when he tries to find him again to give those to him, well. turns out he can't, and then gnosia hits, anyway, and he forgets all about it. ]

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me and all my other mes

his display name really comes into play here, wow

meant to be

scott just wants to mourn his dead gf and this asshole here having a whole bisexual crisis

what a time fjalefnei

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