expiationlogs | and i'm not even sorry

Entry tags:

and i'm not even sorry

Who: Seimei + You!
Where: All around Aldrip
What: A glitch has made the local onmyoji...fuzzier.
Warnings: None. Will update if this changes.

[ By now residents of Aldrip are no strangers to wildlife causing all kinds of a ruckus in and around town. The ones that tend to be bold and venture closer to city limits are monsters, though, big and frightening with plenty of strength to back up that audacity.

What's causing trouble these next few days is much smaller.

A fox, all slender limbs and golden eyes, has decided it's right at home on the city streets, as if it was born and raised there. While it seems appropriately cautious of humans, avoiding large busy gatherings and such, it doesn't necessarily seem afraid of them. It'll pass you on the sidewalk no problem, wait its turn in a line, and maybe if you're not paying attention to something not tied down...try to snag it.

Especially if it's food. Anyone looking to enjoy a meal outside may want to keep an extra close eye on it, lest a fuzzy little vermin make off with it.

But maybe today's not the best day to be eating outside. It's hot after all, and no one would blame you for wanting to stick inside where it's nice and cool instead of sitting around and boiling. Thing is, though, human people aren't the only ones trying to beat the heat.

Under your bed, your sink, in your pantry, or even in your bathtub, this black fox is curled up having a nice nap. Or, was having a nice nap. When you chance upon them they'll open an eye and wait, as if checking whether being discovered trespassing is worth getting up and moving or not.

...Is it? What do you think? ]

-

[ ooc: for about a week of july, seimei will be glitched into a fox! he remembers his time in expiation as if he was a fox all along, so will recognize familiar faces. he'll also be capable of human speech and minor fire manipulation (just, like, lighting or snuffing candles) so anyone with spiritual or magical senses may notice something Off about him.

if you're not feeling anything talked about above, hit me with a wildcard or a pm and we can discuss! let's have a nice foxy time. ]

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....Fuck! It's way too hot out there! Where's- [The rest of the sentence is drowned out by a door being carelessly kicked shut without any regards for the other inhabitants of the inn they're currently at. There is more low-key grumbling as Douman moves back and forth, tossing off his clothes haphazardly to escape the heat that's collected beneath them, while he's also stashing his things away and making sure that all entries to his current abode are properly locked like the man with the many enemies and few friends he is.

The twenty years old grabs a can of beer out of his fridge with the plan to kick back and cool off for a bit with a drink and snacks before he'll drag his sorry carcass into the bath to wash all the accrued sweat and grime off when he turns toward his table ...and stops.]

What the...

[His snacks are gone. All that's left are carelessly torn and strewn about wrappers and a frankly insulting amount of crumbs.

Which are leading to the bath.]

. . . . . . [Douman can be very silent when he wants to be. He also doesn't need any paper talismans or other tools to show a robber or wanna-be supernatural assassin what's what. The only trouble might be figuring out where they're hiding before they get the jump on him, but that, too, proves to be no problem:

The moment he opens the door he's met with the only amount of sensible spirit energy that he's felt in this desolate place yet. It's leading him straight to the bathtub as clear as the reek of a week-old dead body would.

Douman braces himself, yanks the shower curtain aside - and balks. A fox!? Seriously?? There is only one sick bastard who'd have the guts to send him a kitsune over, and it's tanking his mood worse than an iceberg!]

. . you've got five seconds to convince me not to exorcise you.

[His hand is already up, fingers clawed to rip the air with his sigil and crackling with barely contained magical power. Clothed or not, Ashiya Douman is not amused.]

[ These newfangled wrappings humans are using, presumably to keep their food safe and clean, are interesting indeed. It's not difficult at all to tear them off, and once the food inside's thoroughly decimated it's a curiously fun texture to just...gnaw on. Like his food is coming with a toy to keep him entertained as he rests all of it off. How novel.

Which is why Douman finds his bathtub fox idly chewing on a still crumby cookie wrapper when he pulls back the shower curtain.

For something essentially staring death right in the face, 'death' being Douman's hand ready to cast, the fox doesn't seem too bothered by the sudden intrusion. The most it seems to get out of him is a moment's consideration, tail swaying to and fro before a voice seems to come from nowhere in particular, humming in the very air around them as the fox's maw stays occupied and still. ]

You would smite the very last of such a noble creature here? How callous of you, young lord.

[So it's really a spirit. Just his damn luck.]

Absolutely. Especially if the rest of your kin died out after failing to recognize what's wise in the same way you do. [That is, pissing somebody off who's bigger and stronger - the energy between his fingers crackles are arches as he considers what to do with it. Aim it at the paws like the fingers of a misbehaving kid, the tail for maximum indignity, or to burn the cheeky thing a bald plate for its efforts?]

You have one more try.

Shameful. [ The audacity of this thing??? ]

I am a pillar of this community, I'll have you know. If I were to disappear, your problems won't.

[The audacity indeed.

Seimei has the chance to see a comical vein pop on Douman's head just seconds before he tries to singe the fox's pelt.]

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY PROBLEMS, YOU SNACK-PILFERING PILLAR OF FLEAS?! BEGONE!!

[ Thankfully he's fast enough to abandon his chew toy in the tub and hop out and up onto the sink instead, ears pinned back onto his head as he glares Douman down. ]

You assault and insult me? No one has taught this young lord respect, it would seem!

[The magical energy tears chinks out of Douman's nice tub, pissing him off even further as he jerks around and aims again.]

As if you're one to talk! I've got plenty of respect - for those who deserve it!

[Time to dodge again?]

Well if that's how you insist on behaving, I have no choice but to respond in kind!

[ Dodge he does, this time making a mad dash to get out of the bathroom from between Douman's legs if he can manage it. ]

Whoa!

[WARNING: fox between his legs! There's some awkward flailing and stumbling as Douman tries to block the critter's path and not get hit by it both at the same time, but then Seimei's already past and he's hot on his heels again, cursing up a storm.]

That's not responding, that's running! Come back and get exorcised like a man!

[ Inn rooms are small, but they still provide some counter space in a kitchenette for people to do their own cooking. Previously the only thing that had been out of place on it was the lack of snacks.

Now, what's out of place is everything. The fox is up on the counters and running through them, any dishes left out, cups, cans, clearly not aiming to escape but to displace absolutely everything he can come into contact with. ]

[Some poor soul isn't going to be happy having to clean all of this up, but it won't be Douman once he glitches back. Right now he is too busy flinching at the loud ruckus the fox is causing and unable to get too close because he is barefoot.]

You- Quit it!

[Douman doesn't waste any time with chanting as he snaps his fingers and magically jerks the lid of a pot upward in the hopes that the fox will run against it.]

[ THUD--that actually gets a natural, high pitched noise of surprise right out of the fox's mouth instead of whatever trick he's been using to speak. Successfully stopped.

For about one second exactly. The cookware's good enough for the fox to slide right off once he has his bearings again, and it does get him off the counter, but now he's picking a new destination at random to dart towards with his claws and teeth out.

Oh, how nice! Looks like he chose the direction the bed is in. ]

[The noise of the fox hitting the lid gets a satisfied smirk on his lips. Serves the little bastard right, thinking it can just waltz in here and act all high and mighty at him as if he's never seen foxes with a little more spirit power before...! Maybe he should just use the chance and cook it- Wait, what now??]

First my food and now my bed!? Forget it! You're not getting your fleas there!

[The lid clatters to the ground as he releases the concentration on his spell and cancels it only to start chanting. This time it's his trademark grit that forms in the air in front of the fox in an attempt to block his way. But Douman miscalculated: his kuji-kiri is strong enough to hold even an oni, but the spaces in his make-shift net are too big for a determined fox.]

[ Oh good, a tight space to crawl through! Foxes love tight spaces to crawl through, so Douman may have unintentionally made this a new enrichment game.

Which could be a neat trick to have in his pocket under any other circumstance, but in this one it gets him the very distinct sound of fox laughter (AHAHAHAEHEHEHAHAHEHEHE) as Seimei slides right on through a grid square and launches himself into getting a mouth full of bedding to start rearranging. With no delicacy or mindfulness of how sharp his teeth are, so he may come away from the fabric with a few tears. Oh no, how awful, how totally not intentional in the least. ]

[QUIT IT, HE DID NOT ASK WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!!]

Th- Get out of there unless you're going to turn into a sexy babe!

[Is that annoying fox going to turn into a sexy beauty who's sensuously having fun messing in and with his bed? Douman waits a couple of seconds and then feels all the more foolish for it because he's never that lucky. All that beast's giving him is even more torn bedding!]

Don't you have a nest of your own under some tree? Go there!

[ Bro he begs your finest pardon???

That's so out of pocket it does manage to get the fox to stop, albeit already on top of the bed with covers firmly gripped in his teeth. He tilts his head as if what Douman had just said will make more sense at a different angle, but eventually, his front half lowers and tail begins to wag, the universal canine posture for 'play? play?' ]

Hoh...? So you'd allow me free reign if I was a more pleasing shape?

I didn't say free reign.

[Is it a really bad idea to engage with a spirit in that kind of talk. It absolutely is. But, on the other hand: foxes are known to be talented shapeshifters and the tales of their seducer prowress are. Well. Legendary. Douman also knows what he's get into and has his Onmyoji skills, so. Might be worth it?]

I'll tolerate you more.

You were so quick to name your terms, I wonder about that...

[ The cover drops from Seimei's teeth, leisurely making his way to sit at the edge of the bed with his front paws crossed and looking Douman up and down with an eye much too critical for any animal. ]

What would it take to please such a handsome, fiery young lord, I wonder? A proper woman of the capital, draped in silks and hair black as night? Soft, delicate hands to guide you, to take care of your every last wish?

Or perhaps someone a little more...scandalous? A temper to match your own, to heat the both of you enough to where you simply must shed your layers and follow where instinct takes you...

[Being scrutinized and called out like that is sending a cold shiver down his spine, so Douman reacts like he always does when he's shaken. He bristles and scowls, going on the offense so that nobody will even get to think about testing his defenses instead.]

Shut your uncouth mouth! What- I-- [damn, please, he cannot blush now!] Just take your go-to form! Like I'd ever think about bedding one of you filthy monstrosities!!

[~~oh how the monkey's paw curls~~]

Filthy monstrosity indeed.

[ Both the tone of voice and look on the fox's face is much, much less amused than just a moment ago. ]

Such a shame you need share the world with these creatures, hm? Who sleep in the dirt and bathe in the rivers, who give and take from what is around them as opposed to the safety and class of your squeaky clean palaces. Wouldn't want to lower yourself by touching one without good reason.

[ That's, uh. That sure sounds like some pent up frustration making its way out, there. Tail now flicking irritably, Douman has less than a second to notice where the fox's line of sight switches up to before he's off the bed, once again in a beeline to somewhere in particular. ]

Wouldn't want to-- [ Oh, oh no, those are some of Douman's previously tossed clothes in his teeth. He's not stopping to simply shred them, however, this time on his way out the door with all that fabric in tow, ] --become just as filthy!

[Oh. Looks like he has hit a nerve with that thing for the first time just now. Jealous of his social standing, is it? Seems somebody is good at giving and terrible at taking punches here, and it's not Douman.]

Big talk for saying that you most likely emptied what was once in your belly into my flower bed

HEY!!!

[DAMMIT NOT AGAIN! He curses as he runs after the fox only to have to scramble for the keys and unlock the damn thing again. What use is a door if it can't even withstand a little fox fire? Now the entry to his abode has a hole in it and that damn fox-

(He returns quickly to slip his shoes and yukata on and then gives chase again.)

-is still running away!]

Give back my pants! And you ARE filthy, I bet you didn't even clean your paws off before you went into my home!

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and i'm not even sorry

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