Silco (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
conflictresolution) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
expiationlogs2024-06-29 12:02 pm
conflictresolution) wrote in expiationlogs2024-06-29 12:02 pm
All my reasons cut like knives (Open)
Who: Silco
Where: Multiple Locations around Aldrip
What: A nightmare-induced jaunt through the streets of Aldrip thanks to recent events from the Tower.
Warnings: PTSD, anxiety, mention of strangulation
i. On the run
It was the same reoccurring nightmare which stole any restfulness away from him. Even as he sat bolt upright, the images clouded his vision and his breath caught in this throat without anywhere to go but choke him. Suddenly, his silk tie was too tight, feeling like the slow pressure of fingers closing around his throat, and his fingers tore at the material in an uncharacteristic panic.
His vest felt too constricting, hugging his chest so that his ribs couldn’t expand. The illusion sensation of knees on his chest holding him down drew him from his seat and had him frantically removing the vest to fall on the floor next to white tie.
Logic had been overridden by a sense of internal alarm and panic, and Silco was opening a window to the office of the Last Drop. Within seconds of the cold night hair hitting him, he was out the window and scrambling down the two storeys to the ground; physicality was never his strong suit but he was a born and raised fissure folk and moving around – including up and down – was not actually difficult for him and the Lanes buildings were built with outcroppings.
He took off running the moment his socked feet touch the ground, sliding through the narrow alley and out on the streets. Chased by the nightmare, of the frantic old pain to just survive, he sprinted away with no mindful thoughts to combat the adrenaline as he tore through the streets and heading towards the edge of town.
He slipped across streets, jammed himself through almost impossibly narrow alleys and hopped fences. He was barefoot and disheveled within a few blocks, and his gaze was unfocused with a panicked need to flee as if he were being chased.
ii. Drop in the bucket
The salt in the air hung thick, and it was the only thing that stopped his careening mad panicked run but not until he felt the water roll over his bare cut up feet. He took a moment to draw a long shaky breath into his lungs, and almost mindlessly, Silco walked into the gently rolling waves while silhouetted by the moon hanging in the sky.
To his knees then his waist and out further until he was chest deep in the ocean, which took him quite far out given the gentle decline of the portion of beach he had ended up in. His fingers traced over the surface of the water as he bobbed before he simply sank under the surface and stayed there.
There was a comfort in the reminder of a place similar to this was where he had once let his weakness die, where he had stepped out from the shadow of someone he had once trusted. It was time to do that again, just basking in the embrace of the water even as his lungs began to burn from being submerged for minutes.
Have you had enough?
iii. Beach contemplations
He found himself sitting on the beach staring out at the waves gently lapping at the shore. Even with his legs drawn up towards his chest, the water still rolled over his feet. His forearms rested on his raised knees, fingers entwined together to keep them from potentially falling into motion. His soaked clothing clung to his frame, though it was starting to dry stiff from the salt of the water.
The moon hung low on the horizon, providing an indication of time having passed. It would be dawn within a few hours, and the reasonable part of his brain knew that he couldn’t be out here on the beach when the town began to come awake. This was not a scene he wanted to be caught staring at, not when there was the safety of any one of his businesses or the empty home waiting for him.
Slowly, he reached up and pushed drying stiff hair from falling his face then drew his fingers down over the yellowed bruises on his throat where he had been throttled. Like father, like daughter… it was a legacy he doubted Vander would want to be known for. The girl? He expected such a situation to go down as a point of pride; that was the differences of a generation.
And what would be his legacy? Zaun would survive, and that was enough. As for Aldrip? He was still building his legacy, but to what point and purpose? He knew why; his reasons had been lined up since he had arrived, and he knew they hadn’t changed. The question still lingered like a bitter pill to be swallowed.
He bowed his head towards his knees and sighed, lingering in the moment alone on the beach.
iv. Walk of shame
Well, now that that shameful incident was over, it was time to walk back home like some self-aware drunk knowing they had made a fool of themselves in public. As he had come with nothing more than his shirt and pants, Silco simply dusted off sand from his clothing and began to trek along the streets of Aldrip.
It was early enough in the morning that he knew few would be awake. So he took the most direct route towards his house. Within the first block, he began to leave faint bloodied footprints and his head was bowed down in an effort to ignore anyone who might actually be heading to their destination that may notice him in his current disheveled state.
"I’m not interested in escort."
Where: Multiple Locations around Aldrip
What: A nightmare-induced jaunt through the streets of Aldrip thanks to recent events from the Tower.
Warnings: PTSD, anxiety, mention of strangulation
i. On the run
It was the same reoccurring nightmare which stole any restfulness away from him. Even as he sat bolt upright, the images clouded his vision and his breath caught in this throat without anywhere to go but choke him. Suddenly, his silk tie was too tight, feeling like the slow pressure of fingers closing around his throat, and his fingers tore at the material in an uncharacteristic panic.
His vest felt too constricting, hugging his chest so that his ribs couldn’t expand. The illusion sensation of knees on his chest holding him down drew him from his seat and had him frantically removing the vest to fall on the floor next to white tie.
Logic had been overridden by a sense of internal alarm and panic, and Silco was opening a window to the office of the Last Drop. Within seconds of the cold night hair hitting him, he was out the window and scrambling down the two storeys to the ground; physicality was never his strong suit but he was a born and raised fissure folk and moving around – including up and down – was not actually difficult for him and the Lanes buildings were built with outcroppings.
He took off running the moment his socked feet touch the ground, sliding through the narrow alley and out on the streets. Chased by the nightmare, of the frantic old pain to just survive, he sprinted away with no mindful thoughts to combat the adrenaline as he tore through the streets and heading towards the edge of town.
He slipped across streets, jammed himself through almost impossibly narrow alleys and hopped fences. He was barefoot and disheveled within a few blocks, and his gaze was unfocused with a panicked need to flee as if he were being chased.
ii. Drop in the bucket
The salt in the air hung thick, and it was the only thing that stopped his careening mad panicked run but not until he felt the water roll over his bare cut up feet. He took a moment to draw a long shaky breath into his lungs, and almost mindlessly, Silco walked into the gently rolling waves while silhouetted by the moon hanging in the sky.
To his knees then his waist and out further until he was chest deep in the ocean, which took him quite far out given the gentle decline of the portion of beach he had ended up in. His fingers traced over the surface of the water as he bobbed before he simply sank under the surface and stayed there.
There was a comfort in the reminder of a place similar to this was where he had once let his weakness die, where he had stepped out from the shadow of someone he had once trusted. It was time to do that again, just basking in the embrace of the water even as his lungs began to burn from being submerged for minutes.
Have you had enough?
iii. Beach contemplations
He found himself sitting on the beach staring out at the waves gently lapping at the shore. Even with his legs drawn up towards his chest, the water still rolled over his feet. His forearms rested on his raised knees, fingers entwined together to keep them from potentially falling into motion. His soaked clothing clung to his frame, though it was starting to dry stiff from the salt of the water.
The moon hung low on the horizon, providing an indication of time having passed. It would be dawn within a few hours, and the reasonable part of his brain knew that he couldn’t be out here on the beach when the town began to come awake. This was not a scene he wanted to be caught staring at, not when there was the safety of any one of his businesses or the empty home waiting for him.
Slowly, he reached up and pushed drying stiff hair from falling his face then drew his fingers down over the yellowed bruises on his throat where he had been throttled. Like father, like daughter… it was a legacy he doubted Vander would want to be known for. The girl? He expected such a situation to go down as a point of pride; that was the differences of a generation.
And what would be his legacy? Zaun would survive, and that was enough. As for Aldrip? He was still building his legacy, but to what point and purpose? He knew why; his reasons had been lined up since he had arrived, and he knew they hadn’t changed. The question still lingered like a bitter pill to be swallowed.
He bowed his head towards his knees and sighed, lingering in the moment alone on the beach.
iv. Walk of shame
Well, now that that shameful incident was over, it was time to walk back home like some self-aware drunk knowing they had made a fool of themselves in public. As he had come with nothing more than his shirt and pants, Silco simply dusted off sand from his clothing and began to trek along the streets of Aldrip.
It was early enough in the morning that he knew few would be awake. So he took the most direct route towards his house. Within the first block, he began to leave faint bloodied footprints and his head was bowed down in an effort to ignore anyone who might actually be heading to their destination that may notice him in his current disheveled state.
"I’m not interested in escort."
no subject
[ she hums to his plan while lifting his foot delicately again. this time, she dabs the wet cloth against his wounds to gingerly clean. and occasionally, her tongue peeks out of the corner of her lips while doing so, like she's working on her many forgotten projects back home in her room. ]
The cream might sting a little when I apply it. I'll let you know when I do it, 'kay?
no subject
His feet twitched in discomfort as she worked on them. He leaned his head back against the couch and stared at the ceiling, and he hummed in acknowledgement to her words. Everything hurt anyway so what was a sting?]
When are you opening that bakery of yours?
no subject
I dunno. [ she answers at first, shrugging one shoulder while unscrewing the cap.] — There's a lot of stuff I gotta do. Paint, get new furniture, change the building name, get people, who knows.
[ it make take her a while to get started, but nevertheless, she doesn't sound impatient or disappointed about the possibility of delaying the pastry shop. ]
no subject
Will you be bringing your little gang in to help out there now and again?
[At least Levi would have a better place to hang out when following Jinx around. The kid probably needed a break from the docks.]
no subject
[ she applies the cream onto the cushion part of one band-aid and then carefully holds the sticky ends with the padding of her fingertips. ]
Alright, Silco, incoming. Going to put this bad boy on your biggest cut.
[ giving him the heads-up, jinx gingerly sets the band-aid on the gash while carefully patting it to the skin to ensure it'll stay secured. and it's unfortunate that she will need to do this a few more times until his foot is completely covered. ]
no subject
[He lifted his head from where it rested at her warning, peering down the length of his own body to where she was about to apply the first bandages. He winced as the sting made itself known, arching a little where he sat.
He was back to being rather awake, and it was not a state that he was currently enjoying even if the entirety of his suffering was his own fault. Perhaps he would have to stay off of his feet for a day or two.]
How often will the bandages require changing?
no subject
[ she continues with the repetition, applying the cream, placing it in various areas on his foot until all the cuts are covered. but jinx doesn't stop there as she uncoils bandages, so she can wrap the foot next. ]
no subject
If he stayed off his feet more than he currently did, he could just air the injuries out and let them scab over. Bandages overnight… ow. He winced as she applied more of the cream, his feet twitching away with each successive application. Yet, he sat for it without any other complaint, knowing this was a type of olive branch.]
This shouldn’t require a doctor unless infection sets in, but neither of us are going to let that occur. [He sighed and moved an arm up and over his eyes.] This is not an inconvenience that you should have to deal with.
no subject
Come on, I love you. This won't inconvenience me. I'll prove to you by giving this foot a kiss once I'm done!
no subject
That... won't be necessary. You kiss no one's feet under any circumstances.
cw: drugs
[ with that foot done, she now does the same with the other — cleaning, applying cream, band-aiding, and wrapping. in spite of this situation, there's something oddly therapeutic about tending to him this way.
maybe it's because with her having to deal with her own injuries from time to time, she knows how to be precise to every detail. and presenting her accuracy to him like this, in her thoughts, it shows that she still can be useful and good for something. ]
After this, I gotta take a huff. You want a tiny one? It'll speed up the healing process.
no subject
[He settled into the bandaging of his second foot, toes twitching as the ointment began to do its work. He wouldn't bother her with many more changes, expecting that she would have her hands full with the new business and regaining her gang.
He shook his head at the question. He kept his use of Shimmer to the bare minimum; it was useful for his eye but otherwise, he wouldn't indulge.]
No, I think I'll forego and likely rest. Sleep hasn't been a friend of mine lately.
no subject
[ with both of his feet now taken care of, jinx scatters up to her feet then plants her lips gently against his temple, letting it linger for a millisecond longer than she probably should. his daughter stands up right with her hands prop on her hips, and taking quick exchange glances between his face and his feet again — nodding proudly over her craftsmanship. ]
Alright! — Nurse Jinx says loudly, it's time for you to properly rest up. Now lay back on that couch and take a deeeeep breather. Not going to fetch you a blanket 'cause it's hot as heck already. Try not to think so much, and soak in the music down below while I clean up and huff.
no subject
[She seemed to miss out eating, annunciating words, and determining if substances entering through the mouth may be harmful. It wasn't up for debate, and he let her have the win without complaint. His blue eye closed as her lips pressed to his temple, a sigh leaving his nose in response.
Another sigh left him at her response to lay back and he awkwardly and painfully did as he was told. He rolled to his side so he could have his back to the back cushions and pillowed his head on an arm. Thankfully as well as frustratingly, he was too tall for the couch, so his feet hung off the arm or the side as he moved them around to find a comfortable position.]
Will you be sleeping here or the church the rest of the night? [Would she sleep at all was the undertone as well?]
no subject
[ that being said, she picks up the bowl while also balancing the first aid kit with her pinky finger underneath its hanger. there's still plastic band-aid wrappers to be gathered, but given the night they had, maybe she'll just leave it there for the morning. a few sheaths isn't going to cause to any harm to him, her, or the office. ]
Just get some rest. I'll bring you a pillow so you don't have to use your arm all night.
no subject
[He wouldn't fight her on the matter, of course, glad that she would remain at least the night. He watched her maneuver with many of the items to head back to the bathroom area, shifting his feet again to find a comfortable way to have them.
He decided on one hanging off the edge of the couch cushion and one over the arm to keep them apart.]
Alright but my arm will suffice. [He sighed and closed his eyes.] It is nice to have you home, Jinx.
no subject
[ her "brother" definitely won't say it out loud, of course. but he had subtly admitted that the church has been uncomfortably quiet without her. which... suddenly, gives her a funny idea that she'll ask silco later about.
quickly dumping the water in the sink and returning the bowl back where she found it (and the medical kit), jinx exits the bathroom right as her father announces about having her home. the heat glows over her cheeks and her pinks glisten faintly in a shy manner. ]
It's... good to be back home. With you.
no subject
[He basically had Ragna on payroll, but he wasn't willing to offer a space to share thus far. However, Ragna was a pillar of support for Jinx, so he wouldn't make much of the relationship as it was the type she had long been denied.
He nodded his head where it rested on his arm, watching her return and noting that she seemed pleased. Good.]
Where will you sleep tonight?
cw: more drugs
[ she returns to the sofa where her father lies to plop a seat on the floor, her back pressing against the cushion. and it's when she is finally stationary like this, her own exhaustion weights on her shoulder, and she exhales a long sigh with her legs sticking straight out.
jinx then lifts the mask and the vial to do whatever it needs to be done in order for the serum to be converted into a gas substance. after a few minutes of that and having it ready to go, the teenager holds the cover to her face to inhale bit by bit. ]
no subject
He watched her with the Shimmer, and the vaporized version was less potent but added a more controlled hit as well. It was better than ingestion or injection at least, and it tended to have a smoother transition up and down when it came to reactions. It also lasted longer and had a few less addictive qualities.
He reached out with his free hand to stroke his fingers through the base of her ponytail as if to assure himself that she was there as he closed his blue eye and turned his head into his arm enough that he could black out the left one.]
no subject
his daughter sways her legs from side to side and wiggles her toes as the serum makes their move throughout her body, resisting the urge to bolt and pace around the office. but at least in this way, there's no pain involved or vision disturbances like when the council "turned on" her shimmer in one big swoop. of all the various ways to take shimmer, she favors this the best. ]
no subject
Still, Jinx was here and that was enough. He was secure and safe regardless of how hopped up on Shimmer she might be. If anything, it would heal wounds, raise energy and make her more hypervigilant than normal.
He sighed and tried another attempt at sleeping.]