expiationlogs | [open] gwen's birthday bash

Who: Matt Murdock, Gwen Stacy, and anyone who knows her or just wants to party, tbh
Where: In a cute park!
What: This is a mingle log for Gwen's Birthday Party on May 29! Feel free to tag around.
Warnings: It's just a party! The youths might drink but that's none of Matt's business

[ Strictly speaking, Matt Murdock is not actually Gwen Stacy's friend. He's actually her enemy? Her archvillain? But what the Gwen who is here doesn't know can't hurt her! And Matt has always found her fascinating. So you see, you can plan a party with no ulterior motives, even for someone who got you arrested. And really, if your arch-enemy can't throw you a birthday party, who can?

Unfortunately, without his own criminal empire or Wilson Fisk's war coffers at his disposal, he has to make do with what is actually in his budget. Back in New York, he would've rented out a penthouse. Here, he has settled for a nice park with a couple of rented tables, a balloon arch (in black, white, pink, and teal no relation to spider-woman, don't worry about it), a fun little banner (it says "Hapy Birthday Gwen" instead of "Happy" did he run out of letters? did he do this on purpose? is he even aware?), some food and beverages (he's not the police), some tunes, and a cryptic message on the network Come celebrate Gwen! to tie it all together.

He's done very well, if he does say so himself! Really, it would've been way better if Jerry could have done him one tiny little solid, but it's fine. He adapted. He always does. ]

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[ Yeah, Matt can put two and two together. And there's no way Murdock would have thrown this party for someone that wasn't somehow... connected to. Whatever nonsense he's involved in. Don't worry, Peter, Matt won't bring it up. ]

That's good. Good relationships are built on common ground.

... Have you ever found common ground?

(it's a weird way of putting it - if matt has ever found if someone who understood him that much, if he has someone who gets how he sees the world, but then, well. he sort of just did, didn't he?)

I... have in some cases. Others, not so much.

[ Matt will be honest with you, Peter. The dating scene is dire when you're a superhero. (It is always Matt's fault, however.) The closest thing Matt has to common ground is Foggy, who disagrees vehemently with his Daredevil thing. And Karen, who agrees with the Daredevil thing, but maybe not so much all the rules and lines that Matt won't cross.

And let's not even mention Elektra. ]

Truth is, it's hard to find someone with this kind of common ground. Not many people understand... why we do what we do. It can get in the way of relationships.

Does that happen to you, too? Having to lie all the time? Having to leave things, not being able to explain what you were doing?

(because that's the worst part to peter. he lets so many people down, all the time, due to his own duty. his teenage years are going pretty much down the drain, parties abandoned, activities left behind, relationships unrepaired. it sucks.)

My aunt knows, you know. She was not happy about it, but eventually, she got on board, after a lot of argument and tears. Her, mister Stark, an associate of his, my best friend and my aunt. That's it.

More than you can imagine, considering what I can do.

[ He's still blind, but there's so much he can sense. Lying is practically his normal, every day setting. The alternative isn't much better though -- most people don't understand, and there isn't exactly a support group for "I'm blind but my superpowers overcompensate my lack of sight." It's why he's ended up seeking out Murdock, for better or worse. (Worse.) ]

It's hard, living a double life. Especially at your age, I can't imagine how hard it would be without your aunt -- you family to support you. I'm glad she can be there for you. [ Hahaha. ] Back home I basically just have my friends, Foggy and Karen, a nurse friend of mine, and my priest.

[ Stick? Dead. Elektra? Dead. ]

... I can't imagine, actually.

(they had this talk, his own senses, aside from the tInGlE, pale in comparison to how matt experiences the world. it feels overwhelming more often than not, and he hasn't even considered how it must be in a court of law. hearing the jury from the other room. noticing their breathing, their biological reactions to everything that is being presented. how does matt keep it together? how does it not intervene with his job, with his life?)

... It was... Strange, I'll say that. Spiderman existed so I didn't have to tell her. We... Lost my uncle in the Battle of New York, so she's a little overprotective, and she's been through a lot. I didn't want to add to it.

(... and he did either way! but at least, she's helping now, after all the ordeal. he's not going to ask about matt's parents - if they aren't being mentioned, then it'd be rude. if matt wants, he can.)

... Do they know? And, I'm sorry, I don't know them...

[ Matt nods. Yeah, it's hard for anyone to get it. And at Peter's age, he has so much to deal with, Matt can't imagine doing this back then either. Different circumstances call for different lives. Matt's used to it now, but Peter won't be there for a long time. ]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[ The Battle for New York hit a lot of people hard. Hell's Kitchen was a mess. Plus, Matt didn't exactly have his parents growing up, but Father Langdom had kind of filled that role. Just normal stuff, you know. Don't worry about it. Matt doesn't expect Peter to know them ]

The people who care about us just want the best for us. Foggy was... he took some time to warm up to it, and he still doesn't think I should be doing what I do. Karen knows, she's always been somebody who believes in doing the right thing. [ He shrugs. ] I try not to tell people, it's... my powers can be invasive. But it's not like I could introduce myself like "Hi, I'm Matt, by the way I can hear your heartbeat and smell what you had for dinner yesterday."

... It's okay. Thanks, man.

(it's really not. he was younger, he had time to get used to it, but may has never really recovered. everything she's been through, and here he was, making her worry to death and back whenever something around their neighbourhood happened. part of him is relieved that she knows, that she trusts him, but another, worries about her more than anything in life. he can't fail, he couldn't do that to her.

... but he has, and he doesn't even know if she's there to grieve it, too. half the universe is pretty encompassing.)

... You know, yeah, I don't think it's easy for people to understand why we are doing this. I just think... If you can do what we do and you don't do what you can, then it's on your hands, too. I don't think, uh, I just don't think it's easy to get that.

(SIR THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD IS NOT ON YOUR SHOULDERS.)

... You're overpowered, dude.

I get that. I really do, Peter.

[ Matt rests a hand on Peter's shoulder. Know that when he does this, he can literally sense broken bones and stuff through simple contact, but that's not why he's doing it. He can hear what Peter doesn't say -- the sorrow in his words. How little truth there is behind "it's okay." ]

Standing by and not helping people isn't an option for people like us.

[ Not fighting those "weight of the world" allegations unfortunately. Though Peter's last comment makes him smirk. ]

I might be. Comes with a lot of downsides, but I'd say the good outweighs the bad.

Yeah, that's it.

(it feels... nice. something about matt gives him that soothing sense of understanding, laced with a strong authority and admiration. part of peter wishes they had met back home. they'd work so well together - and matt is just an outstanding guy. something about him makes him want to listen.)

I mean, you gotta be used to the downsides by now, right?

[ Matt nods. Yeah. It's about needing to help. Great power, great responsibility. All that stuff. ]

Yeah, I've had a few years to get used to it. [ He chuckles. ] It's all normal to me. I get upset if can't hear people's heartbeats, honestly. One time I got hit on the head and I lost my hearing for a bit -- I was terrified.

Yeah, from what I am getting, it's like, kind of like how you see, right? Part of it, in a way? So it'd be like taking part of your, uh, not sight but kinda like sight. It does sound really concerning. Were you somewhere safe or what-- what happened?!

(GOD WHAT IS DAREDEVIL'S LIFE EACH TIME HE'S MORE INTERESTED THAN THE SECOND BEFORE. if matt was nowhere safe and got out of it, he'll be extremely impressed.)

[open] gwen's birthday bash

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