[OPEN Mingle] - Sorry Ethlyn

[murderingjustice]

Who: Everyone involved in recent player plot
Where: Ethlyn's clinic
What: SO! Silly little Organ Hunt didn't go as well as everyone thought, huh? This is Hospital Mingle where people who were injured one way or another during Gogol's shenanigans and their CR can go over it all.
Warnings: Mentions of death, injuries (both physical and mental), talk about medical procedures, drugs, hallucinations etc.

and maybe even snuggling happening on Shinji's bed, ew.

Comments

wanders over to your route thread to see what happened and POOR TOPH.........

[memori3s]

[ "Stupid" is a vague way to put it, but given that Minato had seen for himself how the miasma could induce hallucinations, he has at least some idea. He studies Toph for a moment; she can't be more than thirteen years old.

Being unable to save everyone in front of you is a difficult lesson to learn at any age, let alone while still so young. ]

Sometimes trying is all you can do.

[ Koromaru whines a bit and sits at Toph's feet. He looks up at her with a concerned gaze before nudging his cold nose against her hand.

Minato, on the other hand, assesses his options. They could sweep this conversation under the rug. He can allow Toph to bury whatever's weighing on her. But they're already here, and she's already disclosed a bit, so: ]

...what happened?

um she's clearly FINE!!!!

[fieldtrip]

[ She's not exactly unfamiliar with the idea that she can't do everything -- she's forced to confront her limitations on a regular basis, and quite a bit since coming here -- but Toph has never had it happen before because of something so wholly her fault. Because of inability, rather than incapability. She doesn't like it, and it makes her want to practice until she never makes that mistake again. But how can she practice resisting the mental influence of a spirit's wrath? ]

I didn't realize killing the snakes was making the miasma worse until I'd already killed a ton of them, and breathed it all in, [ she answers bluntly, straight-backed, refusing to shy away from her mistake. Although her expression is tight, almost stone-like, her hand curls around one of Koromaru's ears and rests on his head gently. ]

I was fighting, and... [ Toph sighs. ] I love fighting. I get really into it. It's like it made sense to carve up this giant snake swallowing that lady whole. It would get her free, right? But it actually --

[ A grimace as her expression crumples. ]

It got her free, but it was terrible. It was like she was rotting. ... I've never, ever lost control like that before, like I wasn't thinking about what I was doing.

[ Which is the part that truly bothers her, more than not being able to save someone, more than having to confront the fact that sometimes trying is all you can do. Toph has a lot of pride and this spit in the face of it, on top of her pride taking a recent blow with her memory loss and ensuing helplessness. It's too much. ]

xxxxxxxxx that's me pressing X to doubt

[memori3s]

[ Koromaru stays there, ears pricked and alert as Toph rests a hand on his head. He's stopped whining by now and looks at Toph with a concerned gaze.

Minato's own eyes drift shut. He listens wordlessly as Toph recounts what's been troubling her. It seems none of those who'd assisted in clearing the miasma escaped the ordeal unscathed. Toph is no exception. The scene she paints is harrowing, and he can only imagine the intense dread of realizing one's own actions led to such a terrible end.

He won't shift any blame away from her. He can't. Even if the miasma impacted her ability to think properly, the woman's state was exacerbated by Toph's hand. But given how Toph is so openly, so frankly accepting the consequences of her actions, it feels wrong to take that away from her by saying it wasn't her fault at all.

Minato opens his eyes, and though she can't see his expression, he offers Toph a mellow smile. The girl sitting next to him has enough melancholy for the both of them. ]

...what do you want to do next, Toph?

[ What would she like to do about it? They can't change the past, but the future remains unwritten. ]

[fieldtrip]

[ This is exactly the right question to ask. Toph doesn't want comfort and she doesn't want excuses. She wants-- ]

I want to be better. [ There's an intensity and focus behind this declaration, strong enough to drive her to invent metalbending, to write a letter to her mother, to open a school and insist it not charge the students anything. Toph sees a limitation and wants to smash through it. ]

Normally if something like this happened, I'd practice and practice until I was sure it could never happen again. But how do I practice resisting something like that?

[ It's infuriating and she hates it. Maybe Minato will have a legitimate idea about it, because Toph can't think of one and having her primary coping mechanism removed is making her nuts. ]

[memori3s]

[ This is a familiar conversation to Minato, one that tells him Toph would get along splendidly with Akihiko Sanada. ]

...there might be one way.

[ He wears a contemplative expression as he pulls together the threads of a plan. ]

I can use magic that affects others' minds. ...things like confusion, or instilling fear and distress.

[ Perhaps it's a concerning revelation, but he speaks of it all completely nonchalantly. ]

It won't be exactly like the miasma, but it might be close enough. If you practice resisting it, maybe you'll be better prepared next time.

[fieldtrip]

[ There's a reason she and Shinji had instantly bonded, okay? ]

Really?!

[ Toph pops to her feet in eagerness, momentarily forgetting Koromaru. She's completely surprised to hear this and latches onto it immediately. ]

I'll take it! I'm sick of having my mind messed with. Besides, to really practice, we have to actually fight, and I need some experience with these soul things. [ Especially if she's going to help Shinjiro. ]

[memori3s]

[ Really. ]

Okay. ...we can start practicing as soon as I'm out.

[ Sparring with Toph helps make sure his own fighting skills don't get rusty. It'll benefit both of them.

But what did she mean by needing some experience with specifically fighting Personas? ]

You want to learn how to fight a Persona...?

[fieldtrip]

[ Toph resists the urge to tell him to rest up quick. That's probably too crass, but she is eager. She settles back into her seat again, but this time seems excited rather than glum. It's her favorite coping mechanism for a reason: having a clear way to improve from her previous flaws gives her a direction and motivation. ]

Yeah, I told Shinji I'd try to help him with his control thing, [ Toph says carelessly. ] And he said Akechi has one, too, and that guy is already missing one too many screws.

[ Just in case, she wants to be prepared. Especially if there's going to be stuff like the miasma around making them lose control. ]

[memori3s]

[ ...ah. So that's what this is all about.

In truth, Minato's impressed that Toph wrangled Shinjiro into agreeing to something like that. If Shinjiro's looking into how to better control his Persona, Minato's happy to lend his assistance even if it's in a less proximate way. ]

I can spar with you too, if that's what it's for.

[ Shinjiro will need all the help he can get, and... yeah, he doesn't blame Toph for wanting to know how to defend herself against Akechi. Just in case.

Minato raises a hand and rubs at the back of his neck. ]

All right. ...I guess I'll have to recover as fast as I can.

[fieldtrip]

[ Toph's true superpower is refusing to cater to anyone else's feelings. Shinji's having a control issue, she's good at control, therefore they should practice. It's that simple. It doesn't need to be a whole thing about his sad backstory or whatever he has going on that makes him introspective about it. She would talk about that if he wanted, but that's not going to solve the real problem.

As it is, she's immediately eager to practice with Minato, already rubbing her hands together. ] You better. I need to keep up with all the crazy stuff that happens around here.

No one's going to catch me off guard again, [ she swears. ]

[memori3s]

[ It's good to see Toph in high spirits again. Minato's a little relieved he's managed to offer her a suitable solution. It's one that's perfectly doable, and he should practice sparring with people wielding abilities unfamiliar to him anyways. If Shinjiro gets some extra practice with his Persona out of it too, even better. It's a win-win-win situation. ]

Yeah. I'll let you know as soon as I'm allowed to leave.

[ In fact, Toph will be the first person to know. ]