[OPEN Mingle] - Sorry Ethlyn

[murderingjustice]

Who: Everyone involved in recent player plot
Where: Ethlyn's clinic
What: SO! Silly little Organ Hunt didn't go as well as everyone thought, huh? This is Hospital Mingle where people who were injured one way or another during Gogol's shenanigans and their CR can go over it all.
Warnings: Mentions of death, injuries (both physical and mental), talk about medical procedures, drugs, hallucinations etc.

and maybe even snuggling happening on Shinji's bed, ew.

Comments

[drugsnotclubs]

[Only a few words, but a lot to unpack-- assuming the words are a reflection of reality and not just weird dream sleep-mumbling. But Akechi seems awake if not aware. And so he shifts again, a little closer, head tipping as he goes over the words again.

No need for failures. One having to kill the other? Complicated, dramatic, but it also tracks for the desperate need that serves as an undercurrent to Akechi's facade.]

And that sounds like a bullshit agreement.

[The chair Akira had been occupying before is vacant, so he might as well take it: curiosity and boredom both spurring his interest in learning a bit more.]

You really think that's gonna fix anything?

[murderingjustice]

[Complicated and Dramatic. That's Goro Akechi's personality stripped down into two adjectives for sure.

Akechi is not sure who he's talking to or what he's seeing. The entire room is filled in blurring fog. The only things guiding him forward are the voice speaking to him and vague smell of cigarettes, pulling these unguarded memories off him.]

It's not. [He argues weakly, wrinkling his nose. With effort he lifts his good arm to rub his forehead. ] If I don't it's all been for nothing.

[There's a slight shift in his eyes when Shinji sits next to his bed, swimming into his vision. "that's Akira's seat", he thinks to himself, removing his hand from his face and reaching out towards Shinji.]

I can't betray her again.

[drugsnotclubs]

[He glanced to Akechi's hand as the man reaches out, but doesn't move to interact with it. He's far more focused on the words here.

Maybe he's making assumptions based on his own experiences, but doesn't that sound familiar. Needing to kill someone to avoid betraying 'her'. Feeling as though everything is for nothing if you can't complete the single act you have planned out.

And so he'll ask the question he'd never thought to ask Ken-- not until Takaya had shown up and implied that Ken's goal was to die that night as well.]

...And what'll you do after you get your kill?

[murderingjustice]

[The hand keeps grasping on the air for a while, trying to reach the figure in front of him. His lips part in confusion before he let's the arm fall back on the mattress. Why aren't you taking his hand if you're sitting on Akira's seat..?]

Then I have won. That's all that matters. [simple as that. There had never been much of a plan for the time after he succeeded to kill Shido. But in reality he knew that his revenge had been nothing but a suicide mission, as he most likely would be hunted down by his father's associates. But that was fine with him, let them come - he'll take out as many as he can with him. All that matters is that his existence would have had meaning, that he had managed to break free from chains of destiny.]

[drugsnotclubs]

[Things are slowly falling into pace for him. Akechi's extreme views and responses at times. The need to be 'right' or at least ahead of whomever he disagrees with. The casual, slung-out insults as soon as someone isn't worth the effort of his polite face. He can't help but wonder: If Ken had had longer to simmer, would he have turned out similarly? So focused on his singular goal that everything else was nothing but a burden? The thought sits uncomfortably.]

That's really all that matters?

[He leans back in the chair, arms folding loosely across his chest. Maybe it's his own lingering guilt that makes him feel that he should keep hearing Akechi out.]

You make it sound like you've got nothing else before or after.

[murderingjustice]

[Akechi hums soft "mmm"-sound as a sign of affirmation, eyes falling shut.]

There's nothing. Everything is fake. Meaningless. I'm the unwanted child. Even mom was desperate to get away.

[so desperate that she saw ending her own life better option than stay with him. but it gave him even more drive to go through the plan of his, to ensure that her life hadn't been so meaningless Shido had thought it to be.]


...But it doesn't matter. I lost, didn't I? That's why you're here.

[drugsnotclubs]

[His eyebrow quirks up at that. He'd had his own shitty coping-- but his feelings of uselessness had always been contained within himself, not projected outward onto the rest of the world. Nothing mattering and everything being meaningless? It's a far different brand of nihilism than what he's used to.]

It is easier to pretend that, huh. That since you don't think you matter nothing else does either.

[His head hurts. He's tempted to pull out another cigarette, but he knows better than to start shit indoors. So instead he tips his head back and sighs.

Maybe being fucked in the head somehow is just what it means to be a Persona user.]

You didn't lose anything except your damn mind. Sounds like whoever you're obsessed with has it bought out.

['Rent-free' sadly wasn't slang in 2009.]

[murderingjustice]

The world is shit. [He mumbles, further proving Shinji's point

Funny that the other one is craving for another cigarette. Because Akechi, is too, very close to asking for him to smoke more. The destructive part of him misses the smell, or rather familiarity it brought him despite the sour feelings lurking behind it. But maybe for one moment it's alright to let himself to linger on the aching memory.

Akechi lets outs another silent groan as he brings his hand to rub the brink of his nose. Damn, he's feeling so groggy.]

Why are you not dead, then?