expiationlogs | april catch-all!

[ Zafeera's impeccable instruction-following leaves Minato wondering whether she can clearly understand Claude's words. It's not an unusual concept. Koromaru's the same.

Somehow, Minato's not surprised to hear that airplanes don't exist in Claude's world. ]

Yeah. I know planes.

[ He knows of them, anyways. There's never been a need for him to step foot on a plane. But as he hangs onto Zafeera's saddle and takes in the taste of fresh, crisp air, Minato knows he doesn't need personal experience to answer Claude's question. ]

Mhm. This is definitely better.

Maybe a little less convenient, I'll grant you that, but there's no beating the view.

[ Someone has drawn what a plane looks like to him before. It's interesting to be sure, and the potential of being able to transport many people rapid-fire through the air is doubtlessly an incredible achievement of human technology...

But compared to this? The warmth of Zafeera beneath him, her heart beat thudding steadily beneath his thighs, the unencumbered wind beating against them, the expanse of land beneath them -- there's no replacing that.

He points out beneath them. ]

There, that field right there is where we're headed! Ready for the landing?

[ Given how dysfunctional airlines can get, a wyvern might in fact be a little more convenient --

Minato leans forward a bit, peering over the slope of Zafeera's back to catch sight of the field. While he can't tell whether the area's the precise spot to harvest the plants and herbs Claude needs, it's flat and wide-open, ideal for a landing.

In fact, he doesn't think he actually knows what Claude needs, only that the man asked if Minato could accompany him on the trip. ]

I'm ready.

[ He hangs on a little tighter to Zafeera's saddle, both physically and mentally preparing himself for the wyvern's descent. ]

All right, hold on tight!

[ The descent is almost as thrilling as the ascent, and certainly several degrees more dangerous. Beginners always think that the most dangerous position to be in on a wyvern is in the air, frightened as they are of falling from a distance. Experienced wyvern riders like Claude know that that couldn't be further from the truth; far from the relative stability of gliding through the air, having your wyvern hurtle towards the ground is a risky affair, putting you at greater risk of getting shot, or of your wyvern making one wrong move and causing you to lose your balance, or having to dodge between unpredictable terrain. Claude still remembers when he was a lad, crying inconsolably at the wyvern pen as one of their most experienced mounts hadn't been able to see a branch sticking out from the ground and had pierced the fine sinew of his wing.

(He had been fine, in the end. But he was never able to fly the same again.)

But there are no such risks here, just the flood of adrenaline that doubtlessly surges through his companion as they hurtle to the ground. Their landing is as bumpy as you'd expect any animal's to be, Zafeera simply running across the field, claws leaving deep grooves in the dirt below until they finally come to a stop. Claude hops off first, then holds his hand out for Minato. ]

Give yourself a second. First timers always get the wobbles after landing, and I need you in hiking shape for the plant we're out here to find.

[ The descent is equally as exhilarating as takeoff. The ground beneath comes into clearer focus as Zafeera glides downwards. Minato hangs on and can't help but squeeze his eyes shut as the wyvern's claws sink into the dirt. Only after she finally comes to a halt does he crack one eye open, his thumping pulse slowly evening out to its typical tempo.

He blinks, shaking his head to toss his wind-touseled bangs out of his face, before reaching out for Claude's hand. He takes it as he slides off Zafeera's back. True to Claude's word, Minato finds his legs are a bit wobbly. It leaves him leaning a bit against the wyvern's side.

Minato offers her a gentle pat. ]

Thanks, Zafeera.

[ He should thank the wyvern for letting him ride. It's only right.

Once he feels his sense of balance return, Minato lets go of Claude's hand and looks up at him with an inquisitive gaze. ]

What kind of plant are we looking for...?

[ It must be an important one for them to come all the way out here to track it down. ]

We're looking for a plant called Samambaia. It's got long, feathered, light green leaves, and -- here, I'll show you.

[ He takes a book from out of his bag (worn with dog-eared pages and a cracked spine, the margins filled with Claude's messy scrawl) and opens it up to the appropriate page. ]

The fishmonger's son is absolutely covered in rashes and pustules, and no amount of magical healing seems to do more than temporarily close up his wounds before he scratches them open again. She was at her wit's end when she came to me, and said she'd heard that a salve made of this plant could help ease her son's pain. So! That's precisely what we're looking for today!

[ It's not that important, really. It's one kid with a bad case of eczema. But it's his duty as the local apothecarist to take care of such things, and Claude's heartstrings are surprisingly easy to tug, underneath the right circumstances. ]

[ Botany is a field of study unknown to Minato. It's why he shuffles a little closer to Claude, leaning over to get a better look at the page containing information on Samambaia. The illustration is an exact match with Claude's description.

He listens wordlessly to Claude's account of the fishmonger's son. If the issue was the boy scratching his wounds open over and over again, a salve would probably be more effective compared to healing magic. ]

Magic can take a lot of energy if it's used over and over again, so... a salve is a good idea.

[ It's something that can be applied as needed. Nor would it require the boy to be in the vicinity of healers any time his wounds began to bleed.

Minato looks up from the book, fixing a pensive gaze upon Claude. They'd flown all the way out here to retrieve a plant for that one boy? Surely, Claude could harvest some extra just in case others required a similar salve, but the tale has Minato regarding Claude in a new light. He'd sensed an underlying kindness within the man's heart, but this is an extraordinarily charitable action for any person. ]

The locals -- it sounds like they rely a lot on you.

They rely on the apothecarist, [ He corrects Minato, a spring in his step as he gestures for the boy to follow him on the prowl for the herb. He feels as though he can catch some of Minato's meaning, some appreciation for his labour -- and surprisingly, it's a little uncomfortable. He's never been one to receive priase for doing his job, and to start now feels a bit odd. ]

The people who ran the Apothecary before me were among those sacrificed by the Rumpiturans, you see. [ His expression remains placid, but there's a sting in his heart thinking about it; crazed by religion though they were, it was deeply sobering to go through all of the personal effects of people who had lived, broke bread, and flourished in the place he now calls home. ] And when it became clear that they were no longer coming back, I decided to take over. [ He shoots a grin towards Minato. ] All I did was fill in a gap. I hope someone else will do the same once I'm gone too.

[ He trails after Claude, following the man like a shadow. He glances at either side of the path, taking stock of the different flowers blooming alongside the road.

But at the mention of the prior apothecarists' fates, Minato's eyes widen, unsettled by this new information. The people who ran the Apothecary before Claude were what?? ]

Sacrificed?

[ He'd gotten the impression that this world's original residents didn't always get along with one another. Religious sacrifice, on the other hand, is news to him.

Claude is clearly a pragmatist. Perhaps the man simply perceives his current job as stepping into a niche left open. That doesn't necessarily mean he's the one who had to step up to the plate. ]

If you share your knowledge with others, maybe they can take over when you're gone.

[ Minato's learned it's not a matter of "if," but "when." ]

...I don't know much about plants, but I can try to learn too.

[ He doesn't mind putting in the effort if it'll alleviate some of Claude's concerns. Plus, Minato's catching a little whiff of a Social Link. ]

I would be more than happy to teach you -- even if I don't particularly want you bogged down with the shop itself once I'm spirited off. It's a big commitment, you know!

[ Not that Minato isn't presumably game for a big commitment, but between having to rub elbows with the local shopkeeps, balance the books, continue keeping everything in stock and improving his base knowledge, it's not the sort of job he wishes on anyone. It's mere happenstance that Claude was the ideal fit for it with his extant breadth of knowledge and his voracious appetite for learning more about the natural world around them.

His smile fades a little, though, brows knitting as he realizes Minato must be new enough that he wasn't around for all that. ]

Nobody told you about Rumpitur? We've... really got to make sure everyone's up to date. [ He drags one hand across the back of his neck. ] A long, grim story made short is that there was a fearsome sea monster by an island just off of Rumpiturs's own shores, and that monster had been killing Rumpitur's own. So instead of doing the sensible thing and asking for help, they began to lure others out and sent them to the island themselves to keep the beast sated. The previous owners of the apothecary were just two of the unfortunate bunch who found themselves in that fate.

Eventually, they moved onto the Chosen as well. Once that happened, we took action and the beast was dealt with -- but by then, the cost was too high. Not a happy story, I'm afraid.

[ It's perfectly understandable. That's why Minato responds to Claude's warning with a small nod. ]

Even if I'm not the one who takes over the apothecary, I'd like to still help whoever is there.

[ He can at least take a bit of the burden off that future person's shoulders. ]

Other than that, it's... nice, learning new things.

[ Minato's never been aggressively studious, but he's always absorbed new information like a sponge. You just never know when something you learned might become relevant. Even a seemingly inconsequential piece of information could later become essential.

It's why he also listens intently to Claude recount what happened with Rumpitur. ]

Maybe they were afraid to ask for help.

[ He doesn't quite understand the politics of the world, but he does know that asking for assistance isn't always easy. ]

...I don't think what they did was right, but... reaching out to others -- some people are scared of that connection.

[ Acknowledging that something is too precarious to handle alone, opening yourself up to accept help from others, letting those people in: it's a level of vulnerability that may be so unbearable to certain people that they would rather suffer alone. ]

[ If all Minato wants to do is help - and to gain some extra knowledge on his way - then Claude has no objections. He nods along cheerfully enough to all of that, but his expression clouds over as soon as Minato turns to the issue of Rumpitur.

If Claude had been in charge, he would have executed those in charge. He would have found no joy in it, wouldn't have done it with the same religious, righteous zeal as others, but he would have done it anyway. That sort of action can't be taken, entire families decimated, people stolen away in the dead of night only to die in the throes of desperate fear, without proper consequences, so that others know that it's not an action that can ever be repeated. ]

That's no excuse to do what they did. The people who died, died in just as much fear, if not more, drugged and tied up and confused, only for the last thing they saw to be some hideous beast. [ He frowns, looking away. ] They lured the previous owners of the Apothecary by preying upon their piety. They told them that they were to meet them by the edge of the forest in order to pay respects to their gods, and instead knocked them out, kidnapped them, and sent them to the den of the beast. If they were to truly commit to their cowardice, it would have been kinder to kill them themselves, so that they could receive a more merciful death than fleeing from that thing.

If it were some of the townspeople, I think I would find it a little more understandable. But it was the leaders who made that call -- and no leader worth their salt allows fear to dictate their actions.

[ Oh that's quite bad. Minato will give Claude that.

"No leader worth their salt allows fear to dictate their actions," though? Minato falls silent as he considers Claude's declaration. Finally, he nods -- that's part of why he couldn't agree to killing Ryoji that fateful night, even if it would alleviate everyone's fears of facing The Fall.

Hm. ]

It sounds like you're speaking from experience.

[ Whether it be leadership experience or having to live under the rule of a weak leader, the way Claude speaks makes it sound personal for him. ]

I... yes, I suppose you could say that I am. I --

[ He pauses in his tracks, crouching down and gesturing for Minato to come look at a patch of strange looking plants in the ground. In many ways, he's a natural teacher, not that he's had much opportunity to explore it. ]

Horehound. This stuff's good for digestion and easing nausea. Bitter as the dickens, but it works a treat in some tea. Pick some of this with me, put it right in this, uh, this! This pouch right here.

[ He produces one of many muslin bags, and gets to work. It's easier, too, to talk and work at the same time. Crouched over the plant as he is, he allows himself a sigh. ]

Here, I am but your humble local apothecarist. Back home, I am Duke von Riegan, leader of my nation, the Leicester Alliance. [ Looking at him now, in his loose linen shirt and his riding boots, cheerfully digging weeds out of the dirt, it can be hard to imagine. ] I know a thing or two about cowardice in leadership. And pride, pride enough to sacrifice lives instead of asking for help. [ He tears one weed out with more force than it necessarily needs. ]

Once you've been coloured with matters of fear, of pride, of greed, it's time to step down. You can no longer be the leader that your people need. And the people of Rumpitur were counting on their leadership to protect them, something that they sorely failed at.

[ Minato nearly walks right past Claude, who'd suddenly paused without any warning. He shuffles over and crouches next to the man to get a better look at the horehound. The patch of green looks a little unusual, but to Minato, they look a little like fuzzy clovers. He would have walked right past them without realizing their true value.

It seems nothing escapes Claude's eagle-eyed gaze. Minato will remember that.

He nods before setting to work, reaching out to carefully pick some of the horehound. He deposits them in the designated bag while listening to Claude's recitation of his history. It's why Minato can't help but steal a surprised glance at Claude. This man is a noble...? He's remarkably easygoing for one, not that Minato's ever met any nobles outside of Ethlyn and Marianne.

Minato plucks one more piece of horehood. He doesn't slide it into the bag just yet, falling into thought while holding onto the weed. He'd never considered it before, the things that Claude's sharing with him right now. While he hadn't been the leader of a nation, he was put in charge of SEES' field operations. Yet, none of these concerns had ever crossed his mind. Perhaps they'd occupied Kirijo-senpai's thoughts instead. ]

It sounds like you'll be a good leader then, whenever you can go back home.

[ Of course he will. Minato's confident of that much, given how upset Claude felt towards Rumpitur's leaders.

He reaches over and drops the horehound into the muslin bag. ]

Or... at least you'll try to be one.

[ Claude laughs, a quieter, gentler sound than most of his chipper, frenetic chatter -- a little more genuine, maybe. It's a good way to tease it out of him, talking about things like this, his true passions in life rather than the nonsense he likes to rattle off. ]

I'll try to be one, [ he says with a nod of his head. ] Whether I will be one or not will be up for history to decide, I think. While Rumpituran leadership is... questionable, I find there are few leaders who aren't trying to do what's right, in the end.

[ At least not in Fodlan. Despite their differences, he knows that Edelgard's heart is in the right place. He knows that Dimitri desperately wanted better for his people. The problem is is when people who are all convinced of their righteousness butt heads. He picks one of the plants and slips it into the bag. ]

I know you work with Marianne too. She and her are from the same place, you know. [ Different versions of the same place, but that's too complicated to get into right now. ] Her father is a Margrave, and a member of the Leicester roundtable. We're a little different from the our neighbouring nations -- I lead, but things are done as a Council, in the end. I'm sure if you're curious, she can tell you about these things from a different perspective.

[ "Trying" to be a good leader is already head and shoulders ahead of what other leaders might try to do. It's a little too easy to fall into the pitfall of amassing power. Once a person gets a whiff of its taste, it's all too easy to become addicted and relentlessly pursue acquiring even more.

Minato glances up at the mention of Marianne's name, nodding to confirm Claude's statement. He does recall she'd mention he was her House leader, and that they were from different points in time. ]

Yes, Marianne's part of Ethlyn's healer brigade.

[ There's a pause as Minato considers the blue-haired woman. While he's quite fond of her, it's clear to him that she suffers from certain insecurities and anxieties. Though there are certain things that Claude likely conceals about himself, the man does exude confidence. It's probably a good thing, then, that someone like Claude is there to support her as her leader.

He continues listening while picking the last of the horehound. The world that Claude and Marianne left is radically different from his own. It's true, he wouldn't mind hearing more about it from a different perspective. Maybe he'll have to ask Marianne about it sometime.

There's a second nod. ]

...I think that's the best way to do things. Making decisions as a group -- that way everyone's helping to achieve a goal.

[ It's why he frequently fielded opinions from other members of SEES too, factoring in their input when it came to their missions. ]

In an ideal world, [ Claude says, nodding. ] When everyone agrees on the goal that they're trying to achieve.

[ He straightens up, having finished harvesting, a thoughtful expression on his face. ]

In reality, everyone has different goals they want to achieve. Some just want to accrue personal wealth. Others would prefer things remain stagnant to any real progress out of a sense of fear. And others, like the Rumpituran leaders, wish to preserve their own lives only by sacrificing others, no matter how their very people may feel about it.

[ Claude does believe in the way the Alliance works in theory. And not even here will he voice anything to the contrary beyond the most mild of reproach for the way they get things done. During peacetime, he would argue it is the ideal way to rule. But the past few years have worn him down, made him weary beyond belief, and he's contemplated more than once how much easier it would be if he were just in charge, of everything.

That's not his goal. But god, if it wouldn't make his life simpler. ]

...but no form of leadership is perfect, and it will always be complicated, no matter what we do. Sometimes it's a matter of choosing between the lesser of two evils, and listening to your people. [ He smiles at him. ] And what goal are you trying to achieve, Minato? Surely there's something rattling around that noggin of yours.

[ Claude's right. Even among SEES, there'd been those who wished to be released from the knowledge of the Fall. And even after they'd all ultimately decided to meet their fate at the top of Tartarus, each member had a different reason for doing so. It's why Minato takes what Claude's words and internalizes them for himself.

However, upon hearing the man's question, Minato finds himself wishing there was still horehound to harvest. Then, he could focus on that task instead of being asked about his life goals.

The typically impassive expression on Minato's face shifts to something more uneasy. Goals, goals... It had been so easy with SEES. The goal was simple if not daunting: eliminate the Dark Hour. And after that, it was averting the Fall. The goal posts kept moving, but at least they existed.

But now? Now, there is nothing. Rather, there's nothing grand in store. Perhaps something a little more mundane would be acceptable? Minato pulls his thoughts together, and as he does, the uncertainty in his expression fades despite the remaining frown. ]

I started a garden at the farmhouse. ...I think I'd like to see those plants sprout someday.

[ ... ]

Does that count?

[ Longterm goals aren't quite on the brain after a person dies. ]

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