[ Ryuki opens his mouth to retort defensively, but ultimately it settles in a pout as he finds he can't a way to prove his innocence (but he's not admitting that snide comeback is the truth, either).
And the truth doesn't just end there; it would be a lie to say he doesn't resonate with the sensation the other is describing. But he's found the more he mulls over the subject, the more frequently he finds himself plagued by flashes of distant memories, none of which are supposedly his own. Both in his dreams and while awake.
His eyes fall to the forsaken drink for a brooding moment as he tries to work out a way to change the subject. ]
The only weird thing I see here are the things you're saying. Really, what's gotten into you? Don't tell me you got rejected again...
[ That last accusation might just be a byproduct of one of those times he was too wasted to remember anything concrete about their conversation. ]
[ damn! that one sears! sha-ming's glass thumps against the bar counter, a brow raising as his gaze intermingles with ryuki's. ]
Come onnnnnn, man! [ you didn't have to do him like that! ] If you keep talkin' like that, you better be prepared to be my rebound. We gotta stick together or else we're cooked.
[ but that was, undeniably, not the point of this conversation. sha-ming breathes out through his nose, fingers pinching at the crease between his brows. he looks to ryuki again, features more severe, the lines of his face hardening in ways that they usually wouldn't. ]
I mean it, though. I'm a lot of things -- but... I ain't crazy. [ then comes a long, forlorn sip of his drink. ] You hate it here, don'tcha? ...No reason to be drinking this much if you didn't.
[ misery loves company. he knows that in the end, that's why he's here. ]
The latter option sounds more appealing, to be honest.
[ A hint of playfulness colors Ryuki's rebuttal, punctuated by a small sigh. Despite Sha-Ming's claims of sanity, his theatrical, over the top reactions often makes him insanely hard to get an accurate read on. Surely he's not serious about that threat... right?
"Hate it here"? Quite the opposite, actually. Ryuki can't begin to imagine how miserable his life would be, were it anything like the one in those weird visions he gets...
He breaks eye contact, features hardening into a frown. As if burned by his own thoughts just now, he reflexively reaches for his drink and takes a long sip, savoring as the thought dissolves into the scorching liquid just as it travels down his throat. Even though he knows he really shouldn't— ]
I hate the criminal that killed my parents, but that's about it. I'm thankful for the life I'm living here.
[ Or so he tries to convince himself. Because the thought of losing this lif̵̭͂̈e is equally horrifying and liberating at the same time. ]
[ there's an edge of slapstick comedy to his reaction, as if he's not quite taking it seriously -- for all of his flaws, his ego was practically nonexistent. but then ryuki sits there, entrenched in his own thoughts, and sha-ming notices the way he reaches for that drink, the way he downs it so eagerly--
and he watches, head resting against the palm of his hand. his features are feather light, not at all taut with judgement, but there is something discerning in his gaze, like he's figuring him out. ]
There's something on your mind, and you're tryin' to drink it away. I dunno what popped in there just now, but you don't gotta hide it, yanno. [ he remarks. ] And yeah, that makes two of us. I always get this feeling that--
It could be worse. A whole lot worse. I've got people here. I've got things that matter to me. That's better than nothing, ain't it? And yet...
I dunno. [ then comes a sip of his drink. ] I can't explain it... the shit I've been seeing in the back of my head recently. It's like...another world, you feel?
no subject
And the truth doesn't just end there; it would be a lie to say he doesn't resonate with the sensation the other is describing. But he's found the more he mulls over the subject, the more frequently he finds himself plagued by flashes of distant memories, none of which are supposedly his own. Both in his dreams and while awake.
His eyes fall to the forsaken drink for a brooding moment as he tries to work out a way to change the subject. ]
The only weird thing I see here are the things you're saying. Really, what's gotten into you? Don't tell me you got rejected again...
[ That last accusation might just be a byproduct of one of those times he was too wasted to remember anything concrete about their conversation. ]
no subject
Come onnnnnn, man! [ you didn't have to do him like that! ] If you keep talkin' like that, you better be prepared to be my rebound. We gotta stick together or else we're cooked.
[ but that was, undeniably, not the point of this conversation. sha-ming breathes out through his nose, fingers pinching at the crease between his brows. he looks to ryuki again, features more severe, the lines of his face hardening in ways that they usually wouldn't. ]
I mean it, though. I'm a lot of things -- but... I ain't crazy. [ then comes a long, forlorn sip of his drink. ] You hate it here, don'tcha? ...No reason to be drinking this much if you didn't.
[ misery loves company. he knows that in the end, that's why he's here. ]
no subject
[ A hint of playfulness colors Ryuki's rebuttal, punctuated by a small sigh. Despite Sha-Ming's claims of sanity, his theatrical, over the top reactions often makes him insanely hard to get an accurate read on. Surely he's not serious about that threat... right?
"Hate it here"? Quite the opposite, actually. Ryuki can't begin to imagine how miserable his life would be, were it anything like the one in those weird visions he gets...
He breaks eye contact, features hardening into a frown. As if burned by his own thoughts just now, he reflexively reaches for his drink and takes a long sip, savoring as the thought dissolves into the scorching liquid just as it travels down his throat. Even though he knows he really shouldn't— ]
I hate the criminal that killed my parents, but that's about it. I'm thankful for the life I'm living here.
[ Or so he tries to convince himself. Because the thought of losing this li
f̵̭͂̈e is equally horrifying and liberating at the same time. ]no subject
[ there's an edge of slapstick comedy to his reaction, as if he's not quite taking it seriously -- for all of his flaws, his ego was practically nonexistent. but then ryuki sits there, entrenched in his own thoughts, and sha-ming notices the way he reaches for that drink, the way he downs it so eagerly--
and he watches, head resting against the palm of his hand. his features are feather light, not at all taut with judgement, but there is something discerning in his gaze, like he's figuring him out. ]
There's something on your mind, and you're tryin' to drink it away. I dunno what popped in there just now, but you don't gotta hide it, yanno. [ he remarks. ] And yeah, that makes two of us. I always get this feeling that--
It could be worse. A whole lot worse. I've got people here. I've got things that matter to me. That's better than nothing, ain't it? And yet...
I dunno. [ then comes a sip of his drink. ] I can't explain it... the shit I've been seeing in the back of my head recently. It's like...another world, you feel?