expiationlogs | (closed) back up on the scene

(due to personal reasons (it being cold as fuck), manjiro's preferred beverage is going to be warm sake. he's doing the heating himself, since he self-banned from cooking ever since he Attempted. he wears his toman uniform jacket atop a sweater, pants, socks, he's freezing, y'all. one might notice that every move he makes is extremely docile, like everything is made of the most fragile porcelain since he has broken A Lot Of Shit as of late.

but eventually, warm and welcoming sake is in o-chokos, served on the table, along with the other colder beverages such as beer, vodka-- that's pretty much it.)

(he can't play the damn thing, he'll rage, he always rages and almost breaks the controllers, but now the chance of raging and ACTUALLY breaking the controllers accidentally by moving his thumbs way too harshly is absolute. therefore, he sits out on this, because there are no replacements for this. instead, he has someone else play on his behalf-- and he is suffering so much...)

No, left, no-- right!! Right!! Ugh...?! Nooo, you can't lose!!

[You'd think video games would lose some of their appeal after going through a dungeon in a weird cognitive world that was modeled after a video game, but nope, here is Yu, being a nerd, peering at the system with an appreciative whistle.]

Haven't seen one of these in ages.

[2012, bitches]

[Setting up futons is not difficult. It is a one-person job. Yu did this every night for a whole year and it was fine. This is fine. But after a couple of drinks, he's starting to feel that stage of pleasantly buzzed where you're ready to fall asleep wherever your head lands, so he'll be recruiting help from whomever he can find.]

Hey. Can you get the futons while I finish this?

[He gestures at the closet, because he's sweeping right now. Look, just because he's had some sake doesn't mean he's sleeping on a dirty floor. There's an order to these things, gosh.]

In ages? It ain't that old. 15... Years? The year I was born.

(that moment when he is the youngest, but also not the youngest at all... he flops on his couch, or attempts so, still making sure he doesn't apply too much pressure. in two weeks to a month, he'll be better at this, but for now, ah, the care.)

[He keeps forgetting that somehow, technically, Mikey is older than he is. Kotone, too. Time...really works in strange ways, here.

But-- a shrug.]

I haven't played one since I was younger. School started keeping me too busy.

[The age-old story.]

You look too cool to be this fucking nerdy, Yuchin. Ugh.

(he shivers, VERY VISIBLY. who the FUCK cares about school

oh yeah a lot of people.)

Go at it.

(mornings are when baby girl comes out. his long hair is poofy, tangled, his eyes don't open, and he has a killer hangover. he's practically sleepwalking his way to the kitchen, dropping on his seat with a very, very, very old blanket in his hands...

and his forehead meets the table, and thanks to a certain superpower, it leaves a dent. he can't yell, because that'd hurt babygirl's brain, but he whispers.)

... Someone make breakfast... I don't cook.

[Man, he never imagined his big apology over the tablets would lead to something like this. It feels like he shouldn't be hanging out with friends, because the club building needs to be repaired and shouldn't someone be a little bit upset with him? However, no one really is, in fact, people just want to continue hanging out with him and it nearly makes tears well up in his eyes but boys don't cry!! Okay, stupid thing to say now since he's definitely cried a bunch of times in this world already.

But Scott's sitting on the porch and overlooking the garden, looking... content, something quiet about him but in a happy sort of way. Anyone that comes to join him will garner a smile from the mutant.]

Hey. [...] Thanks for showing up.

[Unless you're here for Mikey, which he totally understands.]

[Okay, Scott's done being quiet and contemplative. He's here to be a stupid teenager and once the futons are settled around the dojo, he will be sitting on his with a dumb little grin on him.]

We're not calling this a sleepover, right?

[No he's not over that.] What are we supposed to do anyway? I'm not painting nails.

(where mikey will sleep is a mystery. since there's alcohol involved, honestly, it's where he'll lean on first. he only had a cup, but he's red as a tomato, even if he is still mostly all there.

most of everyone here is japanese, so he has to think--)

Dunno, I got videogames, Yuchin's making us food, what do you guys do in the States?

Yeah, well... Getting kicked in the face with that sort of shit sucks. Especially if you think you're past it.

[It's in response to the 'thanks', a way of brushing it off, even as he offers out a mug to Scott. Sorry, pal, Shinjiro's bringing some of the tea he found in the kitchen, rather than a can of beer or some of the sake or whatever other fun beverages Mikey has out for everyone to party with. #ControlIssues. He has his own mug loosely cupped in his other hand, looking over Scott levelly.]

How're you holding up?

[It still kind of amazes Scott how low Mikey's alcohol tolerance is. Granted, he's younger than him and everything, but he's a cool bike gang leader and all that.]

I guess watch movies? But we don't have those here. Man, that Nintendo was awesome though, way more advanced than anything back home.

[Not even a beer while talking about this very sensitive topic. For a second, Scott's smile disappears, but he takes the offered mug without complaint, hands wrapping around the cup as a more solemn look takes root. He doesn't drink the tea yet, staring down at the warm liquid with a slightly more unreadable gaze.]

I'm... okay, I guess.

[Normally, he would leave it at that, but if there's anyone that could possibly understand... Shinjiro would. He's mentioned before about losing control of his Persona and everything. What happened with him was basically the same thing, even if it was an outside influence. It doesn't matter.]

I never lost control-- not like that before. Not even when my powers first emerged. [He exhales softly, almost shakily.] I... it was scary.

[Sorry, bud, you gotta get your own. He leans his forearms on the boundary between them and the gardens, looking out at it, rather than at Scott as he works through his words. Because.. what is there to say? It's an awful feeling. Something that's an innate part of yourself, completely out of your control and harming things you care about. And so he just nods at Scott's final deliberation of 'scary'.]

....Yeah. Wish I could tell you it's all alright, but... [He vaguely gestures. They both know it isn't. While Scott isn't a pariah, and no one blames him for the destruction of the club building-- how much did that truly matter? Everyone in the world can forgive Scott, but it's up to him to actually hear and realize it.

Shinji sure as hell never did. And maybe that's why he's here now, standing in the cold, staring out at the garden of some guy he doesn't even like that much, just to try and figure out how to communicate that to Scott.]

Just... don't let it eat at you forever, okay? I get feeling guilty, and wanting to make up for it. But it's easy to keep feeling like you never did enough, and keep tearing yourself up more and more.

-- Advanced? I thought I was-- hic-- I thought I was way before everyone else in time. It's 2006 for me.

(things that never arose in conversation. neither have ever brought it up? just never sounded important to manjiro.)

What year is it, American boy?

[Everyone's so far ahead of him!! He can't even imagine getting into the year 2000-- although, it's really nice to hear that the world isn't going to end or something on that time. Looks like everyone is just doing what they always do.

But man, in 2006, he's going to be almost 40 years old.....]

1983, asshole. [He ribs back, eyes rolling being called an American Boy. Yeah yeah, that's him alright, especially with all these Japanese teens around.] Only console we had at home was the Atari.

...It's not. Not really.

[He hurt his friends during the crossfire and luckily, no one actually lost their lives. Would everyone be so willing to forgive him then? ...Maybe, but Scott wouldn't. Whether or not it was his choice, he still would've taken a life of someone. He just got lucky this time. That thought alone makes it difficult to swallow, tears pricking at the edge of his eyes, almost curling further onto himself. It sucks that he's feeling like this still despite the corruption no longer affecting him.

Scott just wants to go back to feeling like normal again. He's starting to wonder what that really means to him. Unfortunately, staring down at the cooling liquid of his tea isn't really giving him the answer.]

...How do you deal with it? This feeling that you may lose control again someday and hurt someone you really care about.

[There's not a lot to do besides reflect and decide on your own-- and Shinjiro isn't sure if it's frustrating or a refreshing sort of honesty that he won't pretend otherwise. Rather than wait for his own drink to cool too much, he'll take a long sip at that question, before shaking his head.]

I didn't.

[Four months ago, upon his arrival here in Aldrip, he'd probably never have this sort of conversation with-- well. Anyone. There's certainly something to be said for distance, as well as the unique sort of understanding that comes from shared experience.]

I quit SEES. Left school. Tried to forget about it all.

[He won't extend farther into the whole 'suicidal drug use' thing and 'finally coming back to the team to let an elementary school kid murder him' bit. No need to go overboard. After all, this is about Scott, not him.]

But none of that worked. Honestly, it probably made it worse. So... [He gestures at the dojo in front of them.] This thing Mikey's doing for you. It's probably a better start than I could ever give you.

[He's not sure if it's better or worse to hear that Shinjiro never dealt with it.

Makes him feel less alone, less of a fucking screw up that he hasn't really dealt with his own shit, but at the same time, it's really not comforting knowing that the only other person that's kind of like him didn't get far. He appreciates the honesty, better than hearing him give some stupid fake platitudes and mention that everything will be alright. But it still really sucks. Not to mention that both of them know that you don't just simply forget losing control of your powers and hurting people around you.

Especially since it can easily happen again. There's Dara's seal and his sunglasses and everything, but. Is that really control?]

It's impossible to just forget.

[He acknowledges quietly, exhaling quietly and finally bringing himself to take a drink of his tea. Hey, this is actually pretty good though--]

And... I really appreciate what Mikey's done. [This truly is honesty hour, isn't it? Talking about his feelings and shit.] But um, you're really the only person I've met in this world so far that's like me. I mean, there's another mutant, but he doesn't have... control issues.

Uh--

[He has absolutely no clue how to respond to that. Thanks? Sorry? Help.]

I was planning to. Are you joining, or should I go for single-player mode?

(closed) back up on the scene

kitchen

dojo living room (first floor) WHERE THE NINTENDO IS

garden

FIGHTING PRACTICE AREA (where he will put the futons at)

sake

no subject

ota

ota

no subject

no subject

no subject

THE NEXT MORNING....

ota;

ota;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject