expiationlogs | [02] [open] nemesis identified

Entry tags:

[02] [open] nemesis identified

Who: Mizuki and YOU [open]
Where: The wilderness, a ways from Aldrip in an out-of-the-way little cave (Not Lorentia)
What: In which Mizuki finds out she's been alone all along.
Warnings: Spoilers for AI, IDK—will add if any become relevant.

[ There are thin tire tracks starting at the inn that head out and away from Aldrip today. Curious, isn't it? Were they there before? Have you even seen a motorbike here in Aldrip since you woke up here?

If you're keen to find out, you will follow a trail that is just long enough to make you wonder whether you should turn back. Keep with it, however, and you will find yourself at a small cave nestled in the mountains, the opening of which is surrounded by trees. ]

👁️ i. He was the Universe

[ Perhaps you'll see the bike first. It sticks out like a sore thumb. But walk a little further and inside the cave, there's Mizuki, asleep on the cave's dirt floor.

Her hair is messy with sleep. There is a hair piece that sticks out against her cyan locks, standing out almost as much as her bike does in the wilderness. In her hand is an empty, decorated box with a note attached that wouldn't look out of place in a trash can, as it is. Meager remnants of the few good things that have happened to her here, now that she can't go back.

A subtle, unpleasant odor lingers in the air, reminiscent of a wet dog or wild animal that's no longer there. Somewhere beside her sits her pipe, and at her waist, there is her holstered Evolver. ]

👁️ ii. Ought to Know

[ Alternatively, the trail is still going. Eventually, footprints start to appear in the dirt next to the tire track, suggesting that Mizuki has started walking. Catch up to her, you'll find that her back is to you and she is dragging her bike alongside her.

Why? ...Well, technology continues to be fickle, apparently.

Watch her for long enough and you'll see her stop and try to start it again. Instead, there's that all too familiar, insufferable buzz that makes her cover her ears. Her mouth opens, like she's groaning, but the noise that escapes, if there had been any, is easily swallowed up by the rustling of leaves and the buzzing of insects.

Once that passes, she can be seen pulling out a piece of parchment from her pocket—a map. ]

▶ ooc/wildcard

[ Due to trauma, Mizuki will be aphonic/unable to speak temporarily! Sorry about that. She will still be writing things in the dirt or on the back of her map, probably, and if I feel it's appropriate, I may give her back her voice midthread.

Enjoy the introduction of her shiny new bike, and please feel free to reach out via PM, on the Discord, or

yammdere for plotting/ideas! Thank you! ]

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[ "Trouble finds me," is an awful lie because it's the furtherest thing from the truth. It's the Doctor who seeks it out, not the other way around. The desire is like an itch he can't help but scratch, a bad habit that has led him down rabbit holes that sometimes results in him biting off more than he can chew and leaving him with nothing but regret coating his tongue.

But you can't live a life as long as he has without collecting some of those. One could say that it simply comes with the territory. The key is in the lessons learned and how you respond to them. Or sometimes in his case, how you actively choose to forget them.

Today's adventure is rather ambiguous in terms of what sort of trouble he'll find. His daily walk has lead to him finding the bike treads and following them well outside of Aldrip where he spots a familiar blue-haired girl. The mystery of the source of the treads is solved, but another presents itself. He approaches, hands in his pockets as he peers over his shoulder. ]

You're finally putting the map to good use, I see. Seems a little bit counterintuitive to be dragging your bike though.

Edited (idk wording is hard) 2023-03-06 23:08 (UTC)

[ . . . . .

Mizuki visibly stops. For a moment, she wonders if she should just keep walking. She knows she can't respond anyway. But since the Doctor has so keenly decided to comment on the absurdity of it all (who wouldn't?), she takes that as a sign that she should try again.

She turns the key, and instead of the sound of cranking or the engine turning over, there's just the mechanical buzzing, like before. She flinches slightly, but doesn't even seem affected by it anymore.

...Just shrugs. ]

[ Huh.

The silence causes him some pause, but he doesn’t pay too much attention to that so much as he does the flinching. It wasn’t like he had spoken to Mizuki for an extended period of time but she had been certainly chatty enough when they had. ]

You do know that the town is in the other direction, don’t you? If you wanted it fixed, you’d probably have better luck there.

[ Not that he’s met any mechanics that might be well versed enough to fix something like Mizuki’s bike, but discrediting people before they had a chance to try was hardly kind and very much went against any of the cue card Clara had written out for him. ]

Why are you dragging it out this far anyway?

[ By the looks of it, it's not because she wants to. When he puts it that way, she wonders if it would be faster if she just found a safe place to hide it for now, and just come back for it another time. It's difficult to think of anywhere as a "safe place" right now, however. It's easier just to not think too much about it. How dark it had been, alone in the carousel.

How dark everything seemed now. Alone and branded a murderer, like him. It's easier just to keep going.

...For a moment Mizuki is still, her back to the Doctor, like she is considering his question. But then he will see her just continue walking. ]

[ Even the Doctor, who is by no means the most socially intelligent creature to grace Aldrip, can tell that the silence is a little bit rude. And that’s coming from someone who is regularly rude.

He puffs up a bit at being ignored and quicken his pace to stride up beside her and her defunct bike. ]

You know it’s rude not reply to someone who asked a very reasonable question.

[ A reasonable question for someone who may or may not be unreasonable right now. Naturally, Mizuki isn't going very fast, so the Doctor catches up easily. As correct as he is, being called rude does not entice her to respond.

A fit of paranoia causes her to move her arm when she can sense him coming up from behind her. Maybe she thought he was reaching to stop her, push him away, but either way, his arm seems to brush against his hand.

She doesn't speak. ]

...I need to get away.

[ The voice that he hears in his mind is fleeting, like the clambering footsteps of someone rushing past him like they're trying to put as much distance between themselves and some unknown spectre behind them. He knows it's Mizuki's immediately; not because she's literally the only person here, but because there's a quality that his brain had likened to hers after their flower planting experience.

He reaches for her briefly — a rarity for him — but it's necessary in order to get her to stop. She'll hear his voice in that brief instance of touch but his lips don't move and his hand is gone as quickly as it lands on the bare skin of her wrist. There's something sharper to his tone, one that he likely hasn't used yet in their short time of knowing one another, but one that would convey that he's deadly serious about understanding what she's trying to run from. A perhaps, somewhere in there, a hint of care. ]

Get away from what?

[ The voice comes from within, and she doesn't react well to it. As she itches to get away, however, The Doctor's grip seems to remain firm, and whatever superstrength she had is gone. Perhaps it is more accurate to say that she did not want to be let go, but he will catch many of her disconnected thoughts as she tries to get a handle on what's happening.

What the fuck.
From him!
He's a freak.
He's dead. He's deadhesdeadhesdead.
Maybe I'm the freak.
Maybe I'm dead.
Maybe I'm infected—

But finally— ]

H-How are you doing that?

[ The flurry of Mizuki's thoughts feel like the equivalent of flies or harried bugs flitting around his brain. Normally it would be annoying in any other circumstance — who after all, enjoys having anything thrown at them at a rapid rate? But he understands the panic, can taste the smokey and acrid fear that her thoughts leave in their wake. Sympathy and compassion are kicked up in his hearts even though they don't appear on his face. When he speaks next it's out loud. ]

I have psionic abilities. I can read minds but usually don't for obvious reasons. [ He motions towards her wrist. ] Touching someone amplifies it but I don't need to unless you're okay with that.

[ Wait, what? 'If you're okay with that...'

Mizuki looks again, and the sensation of the Doctor's grip at her wrist is gone, like it had never been there at all. She doesn't say yes or no, doesn't reach for his hand. Just slightly panicked breathing. ]

Fuck. Fuck, I really am losing it... I really am...? I can't believe I'm letting him do this to me. I should've—

[ In true devil/angel fashion, there is a chorus of "killed him" and "NO" that ring out at roughly the same time. ]

[ Acting before he thinks has often gotten him into trouble. At worst someone gets hurt (or several someones) in the cross fire, and at best? Something tangibly positive comes from it. And despite all his ridiculousness, all of his absolute madness and idiocy, there's always compassion at the root of his non-thinking. And if there's one thing that's incredibly hard for him to do and will usually spur any action, it's the sign of someone in distress.

He reaches out making the executive decision to take a hold of her wrist gently and this time it's for real. The panicked thoughts swirl around her mind and he gently blows them away, scattering them like dust to the wind. With him there acting as a barrier, it's a moment of quiet reprieve. He draws her attention to the ground beneath her feet, to the feeling of her bike handle in one hand and the feel of his fingers gently encircling her wrist. Consciously and with purpose, he slows his own breath in an attempt to get Mizuki's breathing to match his. Thoughts soon join the breathing: she is here, she is safe, and with the two of them here whatever she's worried about can't hurt her. ]

[ Her hands are shaking, but more than worry, the Doctor will feel her anger. It is as much directed at that man as it is herself, for allowing such a farce to go on, and for a moment, she doesn't know what the Doctor is doing. Her natural instinct is to resist, but as his breaths slow as those thoughts grow louder, whatever strength she has is sapped.

Her own breath slows, very audibly. Even so, the Doctor will catch a glimpse of a dark, recognizable place—the inside of a carousel's center cylinder—and the image of a blue-haired woman with her left eye gauged out in a horrific, gory fashion. Interestingly, Mizuki's own left eye is missing as well at the moment...

She appears to calm, and her arm and wrist go limp in the Doctor's grasp. ]

Can't hurt me...

[ The anger tastes like iron in his mouth. It's acrid and he recognizes it; it's the sort of anger that could corrode you from the inside out. He could realistically dispel the feeling, but that feels like steeping a toe over a line that he doesn't feel comfortable doing and certainly not without Mizuki's permission.

He notes the woman, the similarities between Mizuki and their missing eye. ]

Exactly. You're safe. [ It's followed by a brief pause. ] And worse comes to worse maybe you could just toss the bike at them. Not many people can handle having a bike thrown at them.

You said 'him' but who's that woman I just saw?

. . . [ It's not like he couldn't guess where she was if he really wanted to. She certainly doesn't feel safe, but the weight of her thoughts seem to lighten with his quip, almost as if she knows it was supposed to be funny. Maybe it any other situation, it would have gotten a laugh out of her.

For now, she doesn't imagine throwing a bike. Rather, she can see her younger form. She holds a pipe in her hand—one that is plain and metallic, but covered in blood. Her face is much the same, streaks of red trailing across her check, but then it all starts to become distorted, like she's trying not to think about it.

Her bike is too good for him. She only just got it back. But to answer his question... ]

Mom.

[ (He saw that?) ]

[ The image of a young girl — a younger her he realizes — flickers through her mind and subsequently through his. The images aren't so fragmented that he can't draw a conclusion that something awful has happened to her to get her to this point. Everyone has a story. Mizuki is no different.

He is no longer the bleeding heart he used to be, willingly tearing his life and limb apart for the sake of every soul he encounters, the sight of a child covered in blood will never not draw something protective from him. ]

I should have guessed. There was some resemblance there.

[ The blue hair. Not the missing eye. ...Although the missing eye is undeniably a common thread between the two as well but surely pointing that out would be a 'DO NOT SAY THIS' on Clara's cue cards. ]

Who's the him? He's here in Aldrip with us?

[ Is there resemblance? Maybe...

By now, Mizuki thinks they couldn't be any more different, though perhaps the blue hair played a part in why they chose her to adopt from Aioen. In the end, it never mattered, because no matter how hard Mizuki tried, she never loved her. The mention of "him" does not seem to help either. She might even shiver, though whether it's out of fear or disgust is unclear.

She grips the handles on her bike, and her knuckles are shaking. Peeking out from beneath her hand is blood that hadn't quite had the chance to clean off. ]

Yeah. He's a true sinner.

[ Not like them. Though she supposes she still doesn't know if she's guilty of her "crime." Maybe she'll never find out. Maybe she'll die here on this strange-ass planet.

There are echoes of 'it's his fault, his fault,' before they're eventually replaced with 'my fault.' ]

[ All of it, how her mother may not really be her "mother", the lack of love that his woman with a missing eye felt towards Mizuki, and the infamous "him" again ring through his mind. None of those things are what he focuses on however. He cannot solve an answer to leaving here yet, nor can make up for a mother's love, but he can at least focus on what he sees in front of him.

His eyes spot her shaking hands and there's another nudge of her emotions towards the calming sort. Tugging and morphing the emotions of others isn't something he tends to do on principle. It feels underhanded, a little icky to use one of the words that he'd heard Clara's students use, and frankly he doesn't care for it. But here he knows it's a suggestion meant to do more good than any ill intent or harm. ]

Do you want to talk about what happened?

[ "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

The voices echo in her head. First, it's the voice of a woman, soft and gentle in nature, and then it's the voice of a man. Ironically, he appears identical to the sinner, though the Doctor may or may not make that connection yet. He is rough around the edges, always tried to appear softer than he really was, which she never liked.

But somehow, he became family. ]

No. [ ...A beat. She winces. ] Yes. I don't know.

[ Luckily for the Doctor, she doesn't have to talk about it. He will get it in bits and pieces, like an old black and white film that plays in his mind, punctuated with static. It is muted, because perhaps she's chosen to black out all of his awful taunts, but he is clearly sneering. They are both engaged in some sort of confrontation. The very bike she is lugging appears as a backdrop, and on the ground, there are the remains of a vase shattered amongst wilted flowers.

And speaking of backdrops, the Doctor may recognize the location as Aldrip's inn. ]

[ His brain has always been great at puzzles. Normally he relishes in them, but there isn't the same joy here that he would usually take in putting something like this together.

The black and white montage is quickly fitted together in his head. He hasn't seen the man that she's fought with in Aldrip, but he knows the inn well enough having spent more than enough in between time there. The shadowy figure behind her fear and anger suddenly had a face. It wasn't a Aldrip native but that seemed rather unlikely to him since not a hair or a feather seemed ruffled and out of place.

To say what he sees is concerning feels like a little bit of an understatement, something sour growing in the pit of his stomach. ]

The man I saw is someone you know from home, I suppose. But it feels like he wasn't like this before your arrived.

[ Before she arrived?

Mizuki doesn't know what he means by that. She perks up with curiousity, and she thinks of asking, but instead, she just grits her teeth. There's another brief scene where Mizuki can be seen, playfully offering a bouquet to him while wearing that accursed blue scarf before everything shatters like glass on a TV screen. ]

That's because he's not who he says he is.

So he lied to you. Why?

[ Sometimes his bed side manner completely flies out the window. But there's pressing matters here and Mizuki, while she's still not speaking, is at least here and safe with him. ]

[ Because he's a shitty person.

Because something is literally wrong with him.

The Doctor is free to pick his poison. Mizuki herself can't really say for certain, and she certainly can't speak for Saito Sejima. Maybe she doesn't even want to know why—what does it matter? ]

To push my buttons, put me back in a bad place.

Language.

[ The chide is nothing more than a reflex at this point. He doesn't quite mean anything by it and understandably, she isn't in a good place mentally.

There's another moment of silence before he speaks again. ]

I don't have the full details, but it's probably worth noting that if you came from a bad place you arrived at a better one. He doesn't have that power over you. You do.

Edited 2023-04-09 18:20 (UTC)

[ 'Language'? Is he really gonna try to scold her right now...?

He's not her real dad, and if he was, he'd probably up and leave, too. Maybe that'd be good for him. She tries not to think about that, however, and everything he sees from Mizuki's mind will be washed in a red tint. Red like blood, red like anger. ]

I know. [ Frustration mounts. She tightens her fist. ] I know I do... But I don't really know if things are better here.

It's been weeks, and I still don't know how to get home. Home, where he's dead. Where he can't hurt anyone ever again.

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[02] [open] nemesis identified

ought to know

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