expiationlogs | {EVENT #4} ADVERSITY 2933165.9475

{EVENT #4} ADVERSITY 2933165.9475

AN EXAMINATION OF SPIRIT

MOD NOTES:

Please direct any questions to the corresponding comment below. Note that character decisions and actions taken on these prompts will affect future events, storylines, and relationships with other peoples of Expiation.

You can find the OOC poll here. Please pick from the corresponding options with the appropriate character journal. If you use a personal journal or a journal not part of Expiation, your votes will not be counted. Remember that if your character did something different than what is in the prompts given, leave a comment in the OOC poll entry and link to your comment in the option made available.

We will provide an IC post in exactly ten days with the results of the poll that will wrap up the event. You may mingle on it if you like, but the most important purpose is to share the effects of character decisions on this event.

The various prompts are, of course, optional.

WHEN THE FOG ROLLS IN

On the night of September 10, an impenetrable fog covers the town of Aldrip. When characters wake in the morning, they find that Aldrip has disappeared, replaced by a large, enclosed maze.

Characters will wake up in one of three different levels of this maze, and they may—but don't have to—find that they are not alone. As they explore the maze, they will encounter trials and stumbling blocks both physical and mental. It seems the maze is testing them, poking at their fears, their past, their feelings. Confronting these questions about themselves and their very nature will allow them to progress through the maze in hopes of eventually finding the exit—and hopefully the town along with it.

While they do not all wake up in the same level of the maze, all characters do, in theory, have to complete all three trials in order to leave. This may not be so easy to achieve; due to the nature of these trials, if someone cannot get past one area, they may remain stuck there. Other characters are able to help them confront these issues, and may instead (or in addition) pass through that way if they choose to. Aside from the level where they wake up, characters may approach these levels in any order as they so choose.

THE GROUPS

GROUP A:
Serah Farron
Elidibus
Nakahara Chuuya
Tsunayoshi Sawada
Rei Suwa
Caitlyn Kiramman
Ragna the Bloodedge
Kotone Shiomi
Monkey D. Luffy
Yuja Wightshade (WoL)
Yosuke Hanamura
Astralin Turnont
Dazai Osamu
Ange Ushiromiya
Hythlodaeus
Ethlyn

GROUP B:
Violet (Vi)
Silco
Mizuki Date
Claude von Riegan
Noel Kreiss
Kazuki Kurusu
G'raha Tia
Jinx
Marianne von Edmund
Goro Akechi
Sooyoung Han
Saito Sejima
Nikolai Gogol
Erichtonios
Emet-Selch

GROUP C:
Yu Narukami
Pride
Sigma
Usagi Tsukino
William G Maryblood
Scott Summers
Gundam Tanaka
Quentin Quire
Akira Kurusu
Mitama Yakumo
Med'an
Ken Amada
Fyodor Dostoevsky
Izuku "Deku" Midoriya
Echo

EXPLORING THE MAZE

i. A WINDING LABYRINTH

The walls of the maze are made of stone slabs; tall, solid, and imposing. As far as one can see, there seem to be no cracks or seams in the wall. They're cool to the touch, perhaps a little dampened by the foggy weather. Some of the stones seem to glow with a dim, inner light. Most of the corridors are stable, but some are a little more risky. Walls or ceilings could collapse, leaving passages blocked and some Chosen trapped within tunnels or rooms of the maze.

Some corridors within the maze are less built up, as well, more like dug-out caverns that look somewhat like mining tunnels. In these tunnels, you can find the raw form of those glowing stones, which seem to light the darkness, allowing the Chosen to see at least a bit. They're enchanting, and some may have a hard time resisting trying to pull them out of the walls.

Occasionally, characters may find larger rooms with small tables of food, equipment, and supplies set up. These areas seem to be safety zones, untouched by the trials, where Chosen can eat, rest, treat any wounds, and replenish their energy.

ii. PERILS IN THE DARK

As the Chosen progress through the challenges of the maze—both illusions and real—the air itself may begin to feel more oppressive and heavy, making movement feel very difficult at times. As the week wears on, characters may find themselves worn out faster or feeling more sluggish than normal. More than that, they may find that their emotional lows become more intense: characters may become more easily frustrated, paranoid, scared, or impatient. In general, this seems to exacerbate the worst parts of their personalities.

On other occasions, Chosen may feel as if they are being watched. They get the feeling that something lurks in the shadows of the maze, that they are being watched or followed. They may hear something scratching or skittering across the walls. When they look…there is nothing there, nor any evidence of creatures stalking them through the halls. Characters who had bad luck in the Casino are particularly prone to this feeling; occasionally, they may feel as if someone—or something—is tugging at their hair or clothes, or breathing against their neck. Try to keep your head, Chosen. The hardest part is yet to come.

THE TRIALS

iii. A DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL [TRIAL A]

It's difficult to pinpoint exactly what location or event triggers the beginning of the trial; it seems to be different for every character. Chosen will find themselves in a long corridor, laced with fog. As they progress down this corridor, they begin to see and hear hallucinations and illusions that highlight their greatest insecurities: their flaws, their weaknesses, the darkness they suspect dwells within their soul.

These illusions may come in a variety of different forms. Perhaps they experience voices or images of peers issuing criticisms that they fear are accurate, or they may face a shadowy figure that bears their appearance that embodies all of their worst qualities. The form these illusions take is up to you, the players, and whether other characters are able to see those illusions can also be decided between players. Confronting, challenging, debunking, and/or accepting these criticisms and claims is the key to exiting this level.

Once they have confronted this challenge, the illusions and hallucinations stop immediately. The fog lifts, revealing a turn in the maze they didn't notice before. They may progress in their exploration.

iv. THE SHAPE OF YOUR FEARS [TRIAL B]

Similar to the first trial, this seems to trigger with little warning or fanfare. At some point in their exploration, characters will find their way blocked by something representing their deepest fears. This can be literal—a dark hallway for those who fear the dark, as an example—but can manifest in a myriad of other ways, too. A character could see someone from their past that represents this fear, or a monster, or an object or memory of something that connects to that fear. These fears will be made tangible and visible to anyone around them, leaving them exposed and vulnerable. In order to progress, they must be able to pass by these fears, and may do so in any way the player chooses, whether it requires fighting a monster, negotiating with an authority figure, finding a light in the darkness, or anything else players and characters can imagine.

The nature of this trial can be as massive or mundane as you, the player, chooses. Whether they need to simply turn on a light to abate their fear of the dark, or whether they need to take down a massive beast to confront something bigger, the area they find themselves in seems to accommodate the size of their trial. Once they have confronted this fear, it disappears, revealing a hallway that might not have been there before, allowing them to progress.

v. IN PURSUIT OF JUSTICE [TRIAL C]

As with the first two trials, this one seems to emerge from the darkness when a character is ready to face it. They enter a room lined with obsidian mirrors. When they approach these mirrors, characters are confronted with memories related to the crime they have been charged with. This can be a specific moment or a series of moments related to their crime either directly or indirectly. Characters may become lost in these memories and may need help navigating through them from other people: the longer they remain lost in these memories, reliving them again and again, the more they run the risk of losing those memories entirely, either permanently or temporarily. Only by addressing the crime, the way they feel about it, the relationship that crime has to reality and to who the character is, can characters be free of this particular trial.

Once they have surpassed this trial, characters find themselves able to step back through these obsidian mirrors back into the maze, where they can continue their journey.

Navigating all three trials elicits no special fanfare or celebration. Upon completion of the third trial, they find themselves in a foggy corridor, where they will find an exit from the maze.

OPT-OUT AND AFTERMATH

Those characters (or players) who do not wish to interact with the maze will occasionally find quiet corridors that mysteriously place them outside the maze, unable to reenter. They will find that the town is, indeed, gone, as are their living quarters—hope you don't mind roughing it for a while. However, thanks to recent efforts to bolster the town's supplies, some of the underground storehouses organized by Claude and Marianne seem to remain intact and are available as temporary emergency shelter, should your character choose not to camp out.

After one week, the maze will disappear and life in Aldrip returns to normal. As for the locals? They don't seem to notice that anything strange has happened at all. Maze? What maze? Strange weather we're having this week, eh?

WHAT ELSE YA GOT? (WILDCARD)

Just because there’s not a prompt for it doesn’t mean that your character’s actions aren’t acceptable. If you wish to do anything that hasn’t been directly addressed by the prompts, leave a message for the mod team to say what your character would do. If you choose to go down this path, note it as a comment on the OOC poll when it goes up, and leave a link to your threads so that we can take all actions into consideration for the next State of the Game.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not even for me, you say.

[ His voice comes from behind. But rather than sounding accusatory, Emet-Selch simply sounds flat and tired. He's fed up with this labyrinth. He wants out. Unfortunately, he won't get out unless he passes two more trials. ]

Is our Emissary struggling to accept his own biases?

Not at all. Only how to reconcile the fact that I am being torn between two opposing forces.

[When Elidibus turns, it is with his characteristic collected demeanor, though it may very well be forced given the circumstances.]

I will not move against you directly, but nor will I compromise my principles to act in your favor. My mind is made up on this, and no amount of trying to get me to prostrate myself for any wrongs I may have committed in the process will change it.

[ He scoffs. Emet-Selch is well used to their Emissary acting independently of course. Just like he himself is wont to do actually. He is in no position to criticise. ]

Disappointing. And yet, I am unsurprised. With Lahabrea gone, the heaviest burden falls upon my shoulders once again, as it has for the past few centuries.

[ Since he cannot count on those from his own world, he will have to seek allies elsewhere. Just in case anything goes awry. ]

[Still not impressed, he crosses his arms.]

I do not enjoy being at odds with you, make no mistake. But I daresay the argument could be made that it is not I, but you who remains compromised by Zodiark's thrall, and perhaps even your own vices.

[ His mouth is a thin line as he eyes Elidibus. It's...difficult to describe the turbulent emotions weighing down his heart right now. He doesn't resent their Emissary for their choice to stand apart. It is what they have ever done after all. But he cannot deny that the choice to err towards letting their people be forgotten forever irks him. ]

I know not what you mean by my vices but I'm well aware that I'm in His thrall. It hardly matters when my goal remains the same. I want our people back, and it disappoints me more than I can say that you have decided that that girl is in any way a suitable substitute for Azem. She is not your friend, Elidibus. Not any more.

[Elidibus squints.]

That is correct, she is not Azem. Nor do I want her to be. They are two different people the same way you and I are -- as such, it isn't the same relationship as it was before.

Speaking of which... by "vices", I was referring to that which drove you to leave Azem's crystal for her to keep, and which encouraged you to make sure I did not have to bear that unspeakably heavy burden by myself. I don't fault you for your actions, but I also cannot help but think that those words out of your mouth are just a bit hypocritical -- perhaps you ought to take your own advice about separating your feelings for the two of them.

Don't presume to tell me what I can or cannot do!

[ He ruthlessly quashes the yearning which flares in his breast. ]

I had no plans to leave them Azem's crystal. I cannot even fathom why I would invite my own destruction, in the way the Warrior of Light tells it. Not only my own but yours as well. It is preposterous. Inconceivable.

[ In other words, not like him at all, he thinks. Not with his current state of mind. ]

I intended to turn them to our side or, failing that, let them be consumed by the Light they absorbed. Nothing more.

[All that earns him is a withering look and an equally disappointed noise in his throat.]

So you say, but that is not how things went. Your actions prove your intent more than anything -- because you just could not let things lie, in case she really did win. You had thought ahead for the future... far more than Lahabrea or I could have ever hoped to in our respective frames of mind.

I, too, said some scathing things to her following your death. Tried to plan my moves as carefully as I could, because one mistake meant the death of our dream. But... there was also a reason I sent her back to Elpis, one I could not have possibly understood until that very moment in time. Any earlier, and it would have been ignored like an irritating stray thought. Any later, and it would have been too late for me; I would have been returned to the lifestream with no hope of reconciliation.

'Tis the same with you, here and now. You cannot understand my reasons right now, as you are, and I cannot make you understand them. But, time-allowing, perhaps you will. Perhaps you'll have seen what you need to see to know the answer I have come to at duty's end.

[ He shakes his head roughly, fists balling up. Even though he has passed his initial trial, faced the harsh reality of his future, acceptance had only brought with it despair. He is not the person who has been on that journey of reflection with the Warrior of Light. He is not that man yet. ]

Just because I have accepted my failure of duty, that doesn't mean I have to like it. And knowing that I have failed, there is no reason for me to continue fighting for our cause, is there? Nothing I do matters. I can step back and let this farce play out to its inevitable end. In fact, why don't I simply kill myself now and save you all the trouble, hmm?

[ A snap of his fingers can easily make Solus' old Garlean revolver if he so desires. ]

[The turn of the conversation makes him outright scowl.]

That isn't what I want, and I know it isn't what you want either. It hurts, I know it does; I have been through the same emotions as well, having lost the way I did. And I had plenty of time to reflect upon it in the Crystal Tower, what felt like another eternity spent slowly trickling away.

[Hesitantly, Elidibus unwinds his arms, letting them fall to his sides. Letting go of the past is not Emet-Selch's strongest point, so to be told Amaurot is gone for good would naturally prompt that kind of threatened reaction. But if he can just coax him to move past it...]

I know we've been disappointed so many times before. But perhaps this time, with this many rejoinings...

[ And that's another thing, Emet-Selch suddenly remembers. When he looks at Yuja he swears her soul seems a little brighter than he remembers. But he has dismissed it until now as a trick of the light. ]

Mayhap you do not remember what it is like to hold hope and have it dashed innumerable times, but I do. I shan't hold my breath.

[ He points to the mirror and the memory replaying over and over for Elidibus. ]

Regardless, I know you are trying to keep me from acting out while we are trapped here. I may be tempered yet but I'm not a fool, Elidibus. 'Tis only my lingering respect for your office that I stay my hand.

...Whatever it takes.

[If it is only lingering feelings that keep him from acting, not current ones, then so be it. It does hurt to have to put him in such a position, but it's all he can do for Yuja, and for Emet-Selch's own good as well. Still wearing the mask of impartiality, he closes his eyes for a moment.]

Besides, have you considered what might happen if you acted egregiously while here? This is a prison, after all; do you not think they might not take kindly to harming another? Whatever this "sentence" is meant to be, it can always get worse.

[ He spreads his arms out with a sardonic laugh. ]

What more could they do to me? Could they emulate the loneliness of a thousand, thousand years? Could they emulate the torturous cruelty of man? Could they find some way to break my heart more than it already has been broken already?

[ His arms drop back to his sides. ]

I have died a hundred thousand ways and loved and lost almost as many times. There is nothing they can do to me that would come close. Nothing.

They can if they are but men.

[Elidibus isn't so sure about Emet-Selch's mental fortitude the way he himself is. His expression darkens.]

Would you like to fill me in on the trials you have had to face up until now, then? If they cannot do any worse, then surely you will have dealt with all of them without issue by now.

[ He starts to say something but then presses his lips together in a scowl. Elidibus likely isn't talking about home, even though Emet-Selch was. Of course Elidibus would not remember. ]

I haven't been here for much longer than you have, Elidibus.

The only trial I would count besides this one, if you can call it that, was a voice recruiting me and others to its cause. It marked our skin and we enjoyed immense power. 'Twas not my full strength but it was enough to overpower the few who refused.

[ He wouldn't really consider it a trial at all, honestly. At least, he doesn't recall being punished for it. ]

[He remains in quiet consideration for a moment.]

...Not much, then. As of now, anyway.

Well, to address a prior statement, you consider loving and losing an overall negative, I gather. Yet I cannot say I feel the same. And you of all people should surely know I am not saying that frivolously. It took hitting my breaking point and yet forgetting why I was fighting all the while to even get there in the first place. You have suffered because you remember it all too clearly, but do you know what it feels like to flail helplessly in a vacuum of your own anger and pain because you cannot remember?

And yet I would still call her a friend with my memories restored, even after that harrowing experience. If you cannot understand my reasoning, then perhaps that itself should serve as something to reflect upon.

[Elidibus's voice does not fluctuate at all, even as he describes his own experiences; he remains calm and even throughout, with only a hint of disappointment at the end. If Emet-Selch would fluster him, he'll have to aim lower than that.]

[ It's the disappointment he can't stand for the most part. Emet-Selch's jaw clenches and he looks aside, anger bubbling just shy of the surface. No, he cannot understand how Elidibus feels. After all, he has lived all these millennia making sure he doesn't forget anything to compensate for all the others. Remembering inflicts another wound on top of an already old scar, cutting deeper and deeper each time. ]

Mayhap we ought to trade places then, [ he spits out through gritted teeth. ] Then you can be burdened with the memory of our people and our star and I can live in blissful ignorance. Surely I deserve that much after all I've done for our cause.

[ Mortal death isn't the release he would like it to be either. Imagine falling asleep and waking up to the same nightmare every night for over ten thousand years and one may come close to understanding how Emet-Selch feels. It's no wonder he prefers to spend his time drifting aimlessly in the void. ]

[A part of him still knew why he was fighting, what he was so dedicated to, but he just couldn't grab hold of the memory when he tried to actualize it. Emet-Selch claims to want emptiness in place of what he has, but Elidibus knows it won't actually achieve anything. Not even temporary "peace", or whatever he believes it to be. He shakes his head.]

Not knowing does not take the pain away. If anything, it warps it into something deeper, more distressing. So many questions without answers, and even being outright reminded does not fill in the blanks. You would not be the same person at all like that, and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

I don't care, [ he mutters. ]

[ But Emet-Selch does care. Very much. Else he wouldn't be standing here, some twelve thousand years later, dragging his feet down this endless (pointless) road. ]

If this is to be the end result, I might as well have offered myself as sacrifice from the very beginning. At least then I could live on in obliviousness.

You do, though.

[A surprisingly gentle counterpoint, for all that Emet-Selch is putting up resistance. If he didn't care, he would have just sealed himself in the auracite and given the Warrior of Light an open invitation to smash it to bits. But that is not what happened, and it is not what will continue to happen.]

Do you truly think Hythlodaeus would have let you do such a thing? It's not lost on me how close you two were... or the decision he made during the Final Days.

Do not bring him into this!

[ The sharp response is immediate, Emet-Selch suddenly flaring up in anger. Talk about low blows. ]

You forget everything yet you remember that unimportant fact? I should have tried harder to stop him then. I would have, were it not such an incredibly selfish want.

It's clearly not that unimportant when you react as if I've just killed him myself.

[He waves a hand vaguely.]

The point is, you do care. It has ever been your greatest virtue and your deepest vice all at once. I'd wager you even care about the Warrior of Light to an extent, even though she is not the friend you once had. And because you care so much, because you cannot simply turn it off when it does not suit you, this is how things will continue. You just are not at the point where you can reconcile your complicated entwinement with the present world with your desire for the previous.

[ He forces himself to take a deep breath and then exhale. As much as he wants to be angry at Elidibus, it will achieve nothing. ]

Either way, it does not matter. [ His voice is clipped and harsh. ] I will die and so will you. And nothing that we've done will live on. Not our names, our deeds - not one scrap of it will be preserved because villains are fated to be written out of history. My part in this farce is done. It was over before it even began. Nothing I do now has any meaning. So, if you will excuse me, Emissary, I shall take my leave to enjoy what remaining time I have left.

[ With that said, he turns away and starts to walk off. It may not lead him to the exit. It may not even lead him anywhere meaningful. It's preferable, however, to facing the harsh truths Elidibus delivers. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

{EVENT #4} ADVERSITY 2933165.9475

trial C

aw here it goes

all aboard the pain train

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cw: depression in general :U

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