expiationlogs | MINGLE LOG: AUGUST

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MINGLE LOG: AUGUST

IT'S CASINO

What have the five NPCs that split off to work on their special project been doing all this time? Well, they’re ready to unveil it. The new NPCs as well as the locals hand out small pamphlets to invite the Chosen to a Great Unveiling that’s going to be done in the evening on the 21st of August. They encourage them to dress their best, and miraculously, Rin's tailor shop has new clothes for sale! When the time comes and the Chosen have begun to gather, the workers who have prepared this building so diligently cuts a bow up in front as the building flickers to life behind them.

It’s a casino! (Who knows where they got that idea.) Or rather, a new event hall. But right now, it looks like a pretty flashy casino.

Come on in!

ANTE UP!

I. DON'T BET THE HOUSE

Chosen who decide to meander past a grumpy man and into the casino itself are met with an opulent scene before them.

There's a large main hall, full of tables with games run by a surprising combination of fairies and local citizens from Aldrip. Further in, there's a massive space to lounge, socialize, and eat. Here you'll find couches for cozy conversation, tables for dining, and a cash bar on the side.

Rooms in the back offer more serious games--you may find a table of fairies playing poker, for example--but...some attendants may close the door to bar your entry, at least for now. These tables are for only the highest rollers, folks.

The sound of music may lead you further back, where you'll find a stage and musicians playing a plethora of music from different worlds that have gathered here, and a space to dance as well. For those who aren't the gambling sort, it seems as if there are still plenty of things to do.

Party away!

II. PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT

There is a grumpy-looking man in a small, dark room off the main hall of the Casino. He’s drumming his fingers on the table, and, if approached, is rather rude about it. He’ll try to chase onlookers out of the room, and then start groaning about how someone is “taking too long” and “not respecting his valuable time, for goodness sake!”

Shortly, some of the NPCs from the desert approach the room with giant sacks and lots of apologies. The tinkerer pulls tablets and cords out of the bags (some half-fixed thanks to industrious Chosen), throws his tools onto the table, and gets to work. He has tools to fix cracked screens and inner parts of the tablet to make them…work? Interesting.

For now, this tinkerer is not interactive, but he has some choice remarks for those brave–or brazen–enough to try socializing with him. Don’t just stand there! Hand me that screwdriver! or take this out to the dumpster around back, will ya? or even the occasional grab me a drink! It’s stuffier than an armpit in summer back here...though if you’re planning to run errands for him, be aware that his tab is not in good standing. If he wants you to run errands for him, you’re probably going to have to pick up the tab, either with coin or with work.

If someone were to look over his shoulder as he's doing his tinkering, they might see the words CYCLE 15 on the loading screen. Otherwise, it's just a lot of blue and black maintenance screens as he's essentially having to do a system restore of the tablets.

LUCK OF THE DRAW

The tables in the main room are where the more adventurous Chosen may go to gamble. Currently, NPCs are running the roulette and blackjack tables, but if someone wants to be the one to run these games, they won’t say no! There’s also slot machines from the sounds of the bells in the distance, so there’s plenty of ways to test your luck. Just be aware that there may be… consequences, whether your character does well or poorly at the games.

Below, there will be a comment section for players who may want the mod team to choose their luck for them. There are three options that you may choose:

You comment with a heads or tails, and we’ll roll the dice for the corresponding “good” or “bad” scenarios.

You comment with whether you want “good luck” or “bad luck” to happen to your character, and then we’ll roll for their consequences.

If you want to put your character's fate in our hands, you can just comment that you want us to rng it all!

SPOILERS: if you want bad effects to be a surprise, don't peek!

The “bad effects” are as follows: memory loss, temporarily loss of taste, can’t speak certain words for a couple of days, feel compelled to follow orders to the person they lost to (kind of like a King's Game), forced honesty, bad luck (which is entirely up to you, the player, on how to interpret this), and temporarily losing one ability of your choice for the next event.

If you want to participate and there’s something you’re not cool with us landing on for the bad effects, just let us know which ones you’re not comfortable with and we’ll leave it out of the rng pool!

A Note: The “good” and “bad” effects won here may have some mild influences on your character for the next event. Nothing life threatening or incapacitating, but just keep in mind if you want us to roll for your bad effects. If you want to just say you had shit luck in the slots and you don’t want your character to have any effects at all, this is fine. It’s not mandatory to have either effect happen to your character to have a good time playing in the casino.

WILDCARD

Go wild! This is a casino after all, and there’s supplies to play pretty much any gambling or card game laying around. If you can’t easily find it, an NPC would be more than happy to help a Chosen find the items they need to play the game they want. Want to play Go Fish while you drink your cocktail? That’s fine too. Anything goes!

A Note: This casino is going to be available in full capabilities until the end of the month. After that, the mod team will explain what’s going to become of it then and in the future!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He wants to stop, try to pretend that nothing is wrong or act like this is some terrible joke and deeply apologize for his shitty humor. He wants to backtrack to a time where he didn't say any of this, or even better, didn't kill the Infected and that the biggest crime he committed was 'destroying public property,' like it says on his parchment. But that's not his power, no it's tearing people into bits when his blasts hit them.

Scott stares down at the ground, even as she grips his shoulders, and it's through some miracle that he doesn't expel the contents of his stomach in front of her, just continuing to shake as tears slip from beneath his glasses. His brief anger just a few seconds ago has already been depleted.]

.....

[He should answer her, but he's suddenly feeling too winded to say the rest, a choked noise leaving him instead.]

Hey...

[It's softer this time as her eyes search his face, and one of her hands comes up, almost as if it might try to brush one of the tears away from his cheek. Boys are so sensitive though, aren't they? They don't like when other people see them cry.

So she does the next best thing and sits up on her heels, using her grip on his shoulders to tug him into her chest so he can cry and pretend that she can't see, if he wants. She keeps her arms wrapped tightly around him as if she could somehow protect him from himself.]

Talk to me when you're ready. It doesn't have to be now. It doesn't even have to be tonight, okay? Just breathe.

Edited 2023-08-25 00:19 (UTC)

[Even though he really doesn't want to cry, especially not in front of her, Scott puts up no resistance and lets himself fall against Kotone, burying his face and letting himself quietly release. Somewhat quietly, at least, as small sobs and cut off gasps still escape him, further accentuated by the way his shoulders continue to shake. He's somewhat aware that she's still giving him an out, even now, and he finds some relief in that, even though he knows that it's just prolonging the inevitable.]

We can just stay like this?

[His voice takes on a more vulnerable edge, as if wanting her reassurance once again.]

[It reminds her of Ken, in a way. How they'd gone to the alleyway together after what happened to Shinji, and he'd just broken down and let himself cry. She doesn't know the depth of what's hurting Scott, but she's not the type to push for answers if she doesn't have to. What she can do is stay with people until they're ready to talk on their own. She can ask, she can suggest, but she won't demand, not for something like this.

So her voice is gentle, even as she squeezes him tightly against her, fingertips gripping his back.] Yeah. We can.

[Mentally, she finally reaches for the Persona she thinks might be the most help right now -- Thanatos -- and lets him settle over her heart like a weighted blanket, reassuring in his inevitability.]

[It feels slightly ridiculous. He managed to say the worst part of what he's done, just none of the context surrounding it. Maybe it's a sign that he can continue on, especially if she's still with him... or that she doesn't really believe him yet. It's stressful thinking of the latter, but he doesn't want to mislead her. He wants to tell her the truth, even if her opinion of him will change.

Just give him some time, which thankfully, she does.

After a few minutes of continual silence from Scott, with the only noise leaving him residual gasps and choked back tears, he finally musters up some courage to continue on, even if he has to repeat some of the stuff he's already said.]

T-the desert. [His voice's quiet, almost hard to hear, especially as he's still buried part of his face against her, but he continues.] Back then.

[She sits in silence with him for what feels like a long time. Thanatos' numbness helps, she thinks, making it easier to try to keep her mind from racing and try to figure out what the best thing to say will be. Like she would for Dazai, she shifts her grip and lets her fingers comb into the hair at the back of his neck, hoping it's more comforting than demeaning. Goro would be furious if she tried something like this, but Dazai would appreciate it. On a scale of Goro to Dazai, how much affection is the right amount for Scott? She can't be sure.

She just closes her eyes and holds him, reminding herself to keep calm and let him speak when he's ready. When he finally does speak up, she opens her eyes again, brow pinching with distress that he can't see. Ah. She was right. She'd almost hoped-- well, it doesn't matter.]

You were being attacked? [Her voice is equally as soft as she asks another question she thinks she already knows the answer to, but it's important for Scott to put it into his own words.]

[Her touch provides a well-spring of comfort and a part of him does relax into the contact, even if nothing is actually better. It still helps, enough to calm his breathing for the time being.]

I was.

[He was genuinely scared for his life when he saw the Infected, when three of them started to set their sights on him and charge. He won't forget their faces, or how quickly he yanked his glasses off and shot directly at them instead of at their feet or the ground in front of them. He wasn't thinking about any of those things, only wanting them to stop.

Just, not like that.

Scott wraps his arms tighter around her, ]

I panicked and didn't even think about it. I didn't even... hesitate. [Does it make it worse??]

[It's impossible for her not to draw a painful parallel between Scott and Shinji. Shinji had lost control of his powers, and Scott had been scared and had only known one way to use them. It's not fair that this will be something he'll have to carry for the rest of his life. Or at least the rest of his time here.

She keeps her fingers in his hair, even as she doesn't answer immediately. She doesn't protest when his grip tightens, either, only tightening her own to match.]

I think that's normal, [she says finally, her voice soft.] To want to fight back when you're scared and in danger.

[A pause, then she adds, a little more quietly,] I think it'd be worse if you'd hesitated and still made the same decision after thinking it through.

[It's hard to argue against her, but no matter how understandable his reaction may have been, it doesn't erase what he's done. Dazai said as much, in his own way, along with a bunch of other things that he doesn't care to remember right now. Scott's still angry and upset with him and it's already enough dealing with his own shit.

If you call this dealing.

Although it can't been seen, Scott closes his eyes, trying to just focus on her fingers stroking his hair, the only thing that actually feels nice right now.]

...I still murdered them. [...] I'm a murderer. [Quietly.] Doesn't that bother you?

Of course it does.

[Just maybe not for the reason he thinks. It bothers her that Scott is beating himself up over it, that this will be something that will keep hurting him, maybe forever. That this is something that will have a profound impact on his life. It bothers her because it bothers him.

People die. A lot of times for no good reason at all. It doesn't mean she likes it. But she can't blame him, either. There's no good way to say any of that, though, so she doesn't. She just keeps him close, exhaling softly through her nose.]

So what are you gonna do about it?

[Because really, that's what matters. Not what he did. What he's going to do now. It's the same with Dazai. It's not that it doesn't bother her that he's a murderer, but he's trying to be good now. With admittedly mixed results, but still. It's the trying that matters.]

[His heart promptly sinks upon hearing that, his chest tightening to a point that he finds it hard to breathe. It bothers. Of course. W-why wouldn't it bother her? Murder's murder, as Dazai and everyone else said, it doesn't matter the reason. He starts pulling away from her, his mind still latched onto an outcome that he perceives to be true, wanting to just hide and possibly get away to somewhere. He doesn't know.]

I-I gotta go.

[Scott stumbles up to his feet, somehow managing his balance. Probably a second rush of adrenaline.]

Scott, wait!

[She lunges to her feet, not the steadiest herself but still a little more coordinated than he is, and tries to grab his hand. She kicks over her drink by mistake in the process, but that doesn't matter right now in her desperation to keep him from running away. If he leaves, it's just like Shinji all over again.]

Please, don't go!

[Despite the desperate edge that wants him to keep going, he listens to her still, stopping both from her words and the hand that's suddenly latched on his. Scott doesn't look at her, however, his face turned away as he remains still in her grip.]

...I'll be fine, don't worry. Just. Going to figure things out, as you said.

Don't go.

[She holds on more tightly, her own anxiety rising in her throat. Causing someone's death, even by accident, had destroyed Shinji. There has to be something she can do, something she can say to make him realize that it's not his fault, that it's okay.]

I knew someone who killed someone by accident. It tore him apart. I don't want to see that happen to you.

[She takes his hand in both of hers and squeezes it. He doesn't want to look at her, so she just stares down at her hands, holding him tightly as if to physically stop him from leaving.]

Please. You don't have to do this all alone.

You don't have to force yourself to be around me.

[He slowly turns his head, although he's mostly just staring at the ground, never quite meeting her eyes.]

...I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Or unsafe. [...] I won't be alone, if you're worried. [Guess he can form 'murder club' or something and find people there, hah. It's definitely a bad idea though, so he doesn't bother saying that out loud.]

What're you talking about?

[She lets go of his hand, but only so she can grab his face with both of hers, forcing him to meet her eyes so he can see how serious she is about it.]

I said it bothers me because I'm worried about you, you idiot! You could never make me feel uncomfortable, or unsafe. No matter what.

[Her hands drop to his shoulders as she grips him tightly. On one hand, she knows she's talking to Scott. On the other, it's some of the stuff she wishes she could have said to Shinji back then.]

Don't shut me out. Please.

[...Oh. Maybe in a different situation, he would feel sort of embarrassed for misreading her earlier reaction, but he solemnly keeps quiet as she continues to speak, his eyes meeting hers even if she doesn't fully know.]

I. [He starts quietly, before his shoulders start to shake again, despite the reassuring grip on them. So much for finding a place to isolate himself, because even though he wanted to leave Kotone out of this, he finds himself wanting to reach out to her too. Being alone right now sounds completely awful.]

I just don't know what to do. [His voice is still quiet and Scott's gaze turns back to the ground, something completely defeated and exhausted about his demeanor. At least she wants to hear this, right? He's not just burdening her.] When I go to sleep, when I close my eyes, they're all I see or think about. A-And I don't want to think about them anymore! E-even if that's shitty.

[At least he's stopped. At least he's listening. Like someone's cut her strings, she collapses against him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and letting herself be the one to bury her face against him this time. It doesn't make it any easier, but at least he's still here.

Still, it doesn't make it any easier to help. Shinji had taken suppressants for his Persona that had destroyed his body, had hated himself so much for what he had done that it felt like he'd never truly moved past it. Dazai and Chuuya both have their myriad of vices, none of which she really wants to encourage Scott to imitate.]

I think... [and her voice is soft, hesitant and uncertain and slightly muffled against his chest,] I think it's important to keep living and trying to do good things, for as long as you can. I dunno if it makes up for it, but I think... it helps.

[He wraps his arms around her, offering whatever meager comfort he can at a time like this. Not to mention, it feels nice for himself, just having someone here with him despite the shit he did. Okay, it being Kotone definitely adds to it, and as he feels her close against him, he doesn't want to let go. Maybe it's a little selfish of him, but she said not to push her away...]

...Is that really enough?

[It's not an answer he hoped for, although, he's not sure what kind of answer he wants at that point. A step by step process to make up for what he did? Something like that probably doesn't exist and it's upsetting, but it's probably the truth. He doesn't blame her, of course, but he still feels lost. Maybe it's just something he has to figure out on his own.]

[She makes a quiet, wordless sound of uncertainty. She doesn't know if it's enough or not, but it's still something.]

I think doing something is better than doing nothing. Dwelling on it isn't gonna make anyone happy.

[Shinji would probably say some garbage about not deserving happiness, which wasn't true for him, and isn't true about Scott, either. Maybe it's not fair to Scott to keep drawing parallels between him and Shinji, but she can't help it. Even if she couldn't help Shinji, maybe she can help Scott.

Her fingers clutch the back of his clothing a little more tightly.]

I'll help however I can, okay?

[It feels impossible at this point not to dwell on it, but Scott doesn't voice those thoughts. Kotone is already doing her best to comfort him and it's not like he wants to make her feel worse by saying that. Besides, she is actually helping by being here, and guess that's a step in its own way? The grief that threatened to consume him this past week is gone, or at least somewhat more tolerable, so maybe that's a good sign.

Or the alcohol speaking.]

...Thanks, Kotone. For being here. [His hug tightens just a little bit more.]

Mmhm. Any time.

[She keeps herself pressed against him, sagging a little bit now that he's at least not arguing with her, or accusing her of being scared of him, or stupid stuff like that. Without opening her eyes, she adds quietly,]

You were gonna head back, right? I'll stay with you tonight, if you want.

[It's not even the alcohol giving her the courage to invite herself over to a boy's room -- it's just something normal she would do with any friend. That way, at least when he's trying to sleep, he'll know that a friend is with him. It might not erase what happened, but maybe it'll make it easier to handle.]

If you want.

[He's not even thinking about the fact that Kotone may be spending the night over at his room. Thoughts of anything inappropriate or even being embarrassed is far from his mind, just sort of relieved that someone might be here with him tonight. This past week has been one of the shittiest he's ever had, and Kotone always makes him feel a little better, even knowing of her fate back home.

...Okay, he doesn't want to think about that either, because he feels like he sort of fucked up there, but at least Kotone wants to be around him still. Although, he doesn't want to her feel obligated either.]

Do you want to spend more time at the casino though? It'll be more fun probably. I'll be fine.

[If you want, no if you want-- they're kind of silly, aren't they? She huffs a humorless laugh through her nose and doesn't let go.]

I always have fun when I'm with you.

[Okay, that's definitely not true, but like, at least she usually enjoys the time she spends with him, even if it's not exactly fun. Still, it sounds like a good thing to say, and even if it's not the most factually correct, hopefully the intent is clear.]

I just gotta get my bag from behind the bar.

[That's a lie.

But it's fine, because at least it's mostly true?? Maybe. He wouldn't call the desert or meeting Thanatos a good time, not to mention that the whole rooftop conversation ended up being a little bittersweet, but they've still had good moments. She knows those things and that's why she wants to be with him, unless she just really feels bad for him.

That's probably not it.

He pulls away slightly, just so that she can grab her bag and everything from the bar.]

Okay, I'll wait right here.

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